


Between Two Lines

by Zaxagra



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Earp sisters, F/F, Minor Waverly Earp/Champ Hardy only in the first chapters, Nicole is a University student, Slow Burn, Talking about options, Teen Pregnancy, Waverly is a high school senior, keeping it real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2020-03-13 18:52:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 143,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18946807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaxagra/pseuds/Zaxagra
Summary: The low buzz from the world outside slowly started to seep in through the bedroom window, the sweet summer breeze gently nudging the young girl out of her slumber. She lay perfectly still, without opening her eyes, feeling the pressure of the mattress against her side. A soft smile curled her lips when a weight shifted behind her. A warm body against her naked back. She snuggled further into it, seeking the safety from those strong arms as she tucked herself against her lover. A heavy breath grazed the back of her shoulder. She smiled again.Waverly Earp had just lost her virginity.She was filled with a warmth that spread out from her chest when the realization hit her. She felt so proud. Proud of taking the next step. Proud to be a woman finally.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here goes!
> 
> I've been working on this thing for several months now and I'm really anxious to start posting. Thanks to my wonderful beta jorekbyrnison, you're the absolute best. Also thanks to smurf and tigerlo for responding to my questions. You've all given me courage to get this thing out there.
> 
> Tags will be updated as the story progresses.
> 
> Enjoy!

The low buzz from the world outside slowly started to seep in through the bedroom window, the sweet summer breeze gently nudging the young girl out of her slumber. She lay perfectly still, without opening her eyes, feeling the pressure of the mattress against her side. A soft smile curled her lips when a weight shifted behind her. A warm body against her naked back. She snuggled further into it, seeking the safety from those strong arms as she tucked herself against her lover. A heavy breath grazed the back of her shoulder. She smiled again.

Waverly Earp had just lost her virginity.

She was filled with a warmth that spread out from her chest when the realization hit her. She felt so _proud_ . Proud of taking the next step. Proud to be a _woman_ finally.

It had taken a fair amount of consideration. Waverly Earp never did anything without thinking it all the way through. She was a planner, after all.

Waverly had learned what sex was all about at the tender age of 7 when she overheard her oldest sister Willa bragging about her latest conquest - one Bobo Del Rey, the local bad boy - to their middle sister Wynonna. (“We totally had sex, like three times.”) Being the youngest sister by 7 years to Wynonna, Waverly was often overlooked, especially by Willa who was ten years older, and had strategically taken her place outside the barn door, merely peeking in at her older sisters sitting on a bale of hay. But that evening when she snuck into Wynonna’s bedroom, as she so often did when she couldn’t sleep because of their father’s drunken noise downstairs, the middle sister gave an awkward explanation on the subject.

“It’s when the boy puts his ding-dong in the girl’s pee-pee,” Wynonna had told her in a hushed voice so Willa wouldn’t hear through the wall.

“Does it hurt?” Waverly couldn’t imagine anything going into her pee-pee.

“I mean, yeah, it can, a little. But you know, it’s worth it. ‘Cause it’s special, like love.”

“Have you done it?” asked Waverly in an excited tone. Her sister was 14 after all, and very much a grown up.

Wynonna’s cheeks flushed with a bright red colour, only barely visible in the darkness of her bedroom. “Only once, with Bruce.”

“Do you love him?”

It had been quiet for a while before Wynonna finally admitted that no, she did not love him, and Waverly had vowed right at that moment that if she was ever gonna do the sex, it would be with someone she most certainly did love.

And that is how she ended up in this bed ten years later, this fine morning in July.

After months of thoughtful consideration, of kisses and sweet words, they had exchanged their _I love you_ ’s and Waverly felt ready. So when Gus conveniently was away on a business trip two weekends later, Waverly had put the wheels in motion to get her plan into action.

She had put on clean bedsheets and dressed in her new floral dress. She had made dinner and they had watched a romantic movie intimately curled up on the couch. And then they had kissed, and kissed again, and finally gone upstairs to her bed.

Sure, the sex itself had not been perfect. They had both been nervous and clumsy when opening buttons and sliding off clothes, and they had both giggled adorably when they finally stood naked before each other. They had taken their time, slowly kissing with fumbling touches. When it finally happened it had hurt a bit - just like Wynonna had warned her - but it was over pretty quickly. Afterwards they had lain in each others arms while their breaths slowed down, and they had eventually fallen asleep, limbs entwined.

Waverly gave the arm that was draped around her torso a delicate kiss, hoping that this would stirr her partner awake. When nothing happened she turned around to face her lover, and instead started peppering the sleeping face with feather light kisses.

With a small grunt he finally awoke.

Champ opened his eyes and blinked a few times to see his girlfriend clearly. She was beaming at him. Her face was glowing with love and adoration, but most of all with pride.

“Hi,” he croaked, his voice still heavy with sleep.

“Good morning,” answered Waverly with a soft whisper. She eyed him cautiously. Was he happy? Or annoyed that she had woken him up?

Suddenly she felt anxious. Maybe he didn’t think it was a big deal, like she did. Had it even been good for him? He knew she was new to all of this, but he had done it before, and what if she had done something wrong? Maybe it was so bad that he didn’t want her anymore. Then what was she gonna do? He was so perfect for her and she had worked so hard on becoming perfect for him as well.

He must have noticed her face faltering, because he leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. “You look beautiful.”

\---

Waverly Earp was just starting her senior year at Ghost River High School. She was a top student with straight A’s and engaged in a number of extra-curricular activities. She had been voted Class President for the third year in a row - this year no one else had even bothered running against her. She was founder of Green Devils, the environmentally engaged club, as well as the editor of the yearbook and a frequent visitor of the Yoga Club - although she was technically not a member. She had also earned the title Head Cheerleader a few months prior, which fit perfectly with being the girlfriend of the high school ice hockey captain, Champ Hardy.

Everything was going according to the 5-year plan that was carefully mapped out and color-coded on the cork board above the desk in her bedroom. There used to be an equally color-coded week schedule there as well, but with her tight planning and frequent adjustments to those plans she had decided on transitioning to the more flexible Google Calendar on her iPhone. Of course, this only added more color options. She was very pleased.

Waverly was lying on her stomach, engulfed by the plushy throw pillows and multiple blankets on her bed, preparing for her History test next week. (She loved history, but giving a test their second week of Senior year? Kind of a dick move, professor Malick.)

There was a sharp knock on the door and her Aunt Gus’ grim face appeared at the doorway. Waverly put her finger on the page to mark her progress as she read about the involvement of Canadian Forces in the second world war. Ancient history was more of her forte, to be honest.

“Hi, sweetie.”

Gus sat down on the bed with a grave face. Her face was often grave, but Waverly could tell by the thin lips and the crease between her eyebrows that it was serious business this time. Her aunt usually didn’t beat around the bush, preferring a more direct approach to difficult subjects.

“I’m so sorry, Waverly,” Gus started and squeezed Waverly’s hand. “I have to go back to Purgatory again tomorrow. Shorty is in the hospital. His angina.”

She grimaced. It was the second time this month that Gus had to drive back to their hometown to take care of business because of Shorty’s increasing heart failure. Even though they had left Purgatory several years ago she was still co-owner of the bar.

Waverly offered a sad smile. “That’s alright, Gus. I hope he’ll be better soon.”

She had grown up in that bar. Ever since her father and sister had died and Wynonna was sent off to juvie, Waverly had lived with Gus and Curtis. Those years with her Aunt and Uncle had been the happiest of her childhood, but there was a constant battle to overwin the curse of the Earp name. After Curtis died, Gus and Waverly had moved to the big city to get a fresh start. It was a lot easier to achieve anything at all when the entire school didn’t know your sister accidentally killed off half of your family in a car crash.

“I don’t know, kid,” Gus said gruffly and patted Waverly on the arm. “He’s only been getting worse. I think the stress with the bar is getting to him. Business has been pretty bad this last year.”

They looked at each other for a moment. Waverly knew how much the bar meant to her Aunt. What it meant to her as well. She had so many fond memories of her doing homework at the bar while her Uncle cleaned glasses, telling her stories and laughing his booming laughter. Or from Wynonna teaching her how to play pool on one of her trips back to her old town while Gus made them pastrami sandwiches in the kitchen.

What would they do if Shorty wasn’t capable of working any longer? Would they move back to Purgatory? Waverly had her entire life here. Her school, her boyfriend, her squad, her friends. Plus she was graduating this year.

“Gus…” she started, but Gus shook her head.

“We won’t talk about it until we have to.” She stood up and nodded resolutely. “You’ll be fine being alone for another week?”

Waverly sat up quickly, squaring her shoulders. She had been alone for several weeks and weekends over the Summer and had proven herself to be a responsible young adult who could take care of herself. “Yes, of course. I’ll have Chrissy come over on Friday so I won’t be alone.”

Gus nodded again and sighed. “You’re a good kid, Waverly, you know that? You’ll be just fine.” And with a last kiss to her forehead, Gus was out the door.

\---

“So what happens if this Shorty person just… dies?”

Waverly winced at the crude question. After all, she had spent a big part of her childhood at Shorty’s and was very fond of the man himself. But Chrissy didn’t know that. Waverly didn’t like to talk about the time she lived in Purgatory.

“I don’t know. I hope we don’t have to move back.”

Chrissy stuffed her mouth with a handful of popcorn and chewed loudly. She swallowed with some effort. “Yeah, me too.”

Just then the bell rang. Chrissy raised an eyebrow at Waverly. They were supposed to have a sleepover, just the two of them, and Waverly had been looking forward to it all week. Chrissy had been away for Summer Camp for most of the vacation and had promised Waverly a series of funny stories about the campers and her fellow counsellors.

Waverly shrugged and headed for the front door.

It was Champ.

“Hey, girls,” he drawled looking from Waverly to Chrissy. “Can I come in?” He pushed past his girlfriend without waiting for an answer, planting a wet kiss on her cheek while passing. “So, what’s up?”

Chrissy just looked at him with her best “what the fuck, dude”-face, but Waverly’s face had turned into a dumb grin. She always felt giddy around him.

“We’re just watching a movie.”

That was technically true, but neither of them had really followed the plot. They were too preoccupied figuring out Waverly’s life if everything went south. Chrissy hadn’t even started telling her about her summer fling, Perry Crofte. The movie was merely comfortable background noise.

Champ looped his arms around his girlfriend and pulled her close. “I missed you.” It was silly. They had seen each other at school only a few hours earlier.

“I missed you, too.” Waverly’s heart fluttered.

It had been five weeks since Champ had first spent the night in her bed but it had been many times since then. She ignored the sound of Chrissy gagging behind her and allowed her boyfriend to kiss her.

“Guys, I’m right here,” Chrissy called eventually, when the kiss turned into a gross sucking sound.

“Sorry, Chrissy,” Waverly said quickly and tore herself away from Champ’s chapped lips. She tried to wriggle out of his grip but he was too strong.

Champ ignored Chrissy’s interruption and brushed his lips against Waverly’s ear. “I was thinking… Why don’t you send her home and you and me can have a sleepover instead?”

Chrissy could obviously hear him but he had never cared much about Waverly’s best friend. Ignoring her was easy.

He was being possessive. Again. It had happened more and more often these last weeks to the point where it was actually starting to annoy her. Waverly had thought it was kinda cute at first, how he wanted her for himself and always tugged her close. But lately he had started to interrupt her afternoon study sessions with Jeremy for a bit of physical attention. He would crash through the door of the Chemistry lab and pull her away from her study partner, pushing her against the wall in the supply closet and edging his hand up her shirt. Sometimes he held her against his chest just a little too tight when she told him no and tried to get away.

Waverly told herself that he was her boyfriend, that he made her feel _good_ . And he did. She always felt sexy and confident when he would slide his hands over her soft arms. But she was starting to realize that he also made her feel annoyed and grumpy when he hindered her in the other parts of her life, like her studies and her friendships. Parts that were _important_ , dammit.

Waverly sighed and pushed away from him again. “Chrissy is staying over tonight, Champ, you know that.”

“But I thought we could, you know…” He smirked suggestively.

“Champ, don’t.” Waverly finally managed to loosen herself from his grip. “I’ll see you tomorrow, ok? I just need some quality time with my friend.”

Champ seemed to struggle with the rejection. He glared at Chrissy for a second before turning around and leaving without another word. The door slammed in Waverly’s face.

“What was _that_?” Chrissy exclaimed.

“I don’t… know…” It wasn’t really unsuspected behaviour, but Waverly still felt shocked. He had been so sweet with her from the start, taking things slowly and letting her set the pace. But now…

She sat down on the floor again, shaking off that aching feeling. “So. Tell me about Perry.”

\---

On a late Tuesday evening in October, Wynonna returned home after nearly two years away. They hadn’t heard from her since she had sent a selfie three months earlier showing off her perfect mane of brown locks, a pair of highly reflective aviators and that iconic shit-eating grin. It turned out she had joined a motorcycle gang. The group had been driving East for some weeks until Wynonna’s battered motorcycle had finally broken down for real and was left at the side of the road. With all her money spent on gas and whiskey, she was forced to return home.

“This chick Valdez bought my bus ticket,” Wynonna explained while taking a big gulp of beer. Gus had confiscated all of the whiskey and stashed it somewhere safe as soon as the oldest Earp sister came crashing through the door. Waverly knew it was only a matter of time before Wynonna had found the secret hiding place. (It was stashed in the bathroom, behind a pile of towels under the sink.)

“But I thought you were off to Greece?” asked Waverly. That had been the last text message she had received all those months ago. The selfie had not provided any additional information about her whereabouts.  

“Yeah, that didn’t happen.” Wynonna gave no further explanation.

They sat on Waverly’s bed. Gus had announced that she had some paperwork to do and excused herself to her office after dinner, but Waverly knew that was only an excuse to give the two sisters some time to catch up.

“So what’s up with you? Still dating that Hardy kid?” Wynonna had never met him, leaving before they were an item, but Waverly had sent her long emails about this perfect boy who loved her back. The emails hadn’t been as regular lately.

Waverly slapped her sister’s arm. “He’s not a kid! And neither am I.”

“Yeah, I know.” Wynonna was eyeing Waverly’s neckline, revealing a rather _adult_ cleavage. Waverly wrapped her fuzzy peach cardigan around her body and glared at Wynonna.

“You’re one to talk, with your leather pants and your crop top and -” Waverly gestured to Wynonna’s scantily clad body. “Anyway, I’m graduating soon, so I can do whatever I want.”

Wynonna snorted and chugged the rest of her beer. “Dude, you can do whatever you want anyway. Just fucking do it.”

Waverly ignored the comment. She did not necessarily agree with her sister’s lifestyle, but she didn’t want to put her off either.

She glanced at Wynonna’s face and finally asked the question she had been dreading. “So... How long will you stay?”

“I dunno,” shrugged Wynonna. “Just long enough to gather some cash, I guess.”

Waverly’s heart sank. Of course. Wynonna would just get what she needed and bolt again. Just like last time. Just like every time.

It was usually a lack of money that brought Wynonna home and she always left again as soon as possible, leaving Gus to pick up the pieces of Waverly’s broken heart.

“And how will you do that?”

“Maybe I’ll ask Doc.”

Doc was a self-proclaimed cowboy who owned a bar called Peacemaker on the edge of the Ghost River University Campus. His name was really John Henry, but he had taken the nickname while he was studying to become a doctor. He thought the name was fitting to his persona. Eventually he dropped out of med school with a mild drug addiction and connections in all the wrong places. After he managed to get his shit together he decided to open up a bar on the same Campus where he had once fucked up his life. Waverly had asked him why the bar was called “Peacemaker” and he had told her he just thought it sounded cool, but she had a suspicion that he wanted the bar to literally “make peace” on Campus. He never said it, but they all knew he was keen to help out with the drug problem at the University.

Wynonna had worked as a bartender at Peacemaker a number of times earlier, but she was usually fired after just a few weeks. Last time it had been an incident with a customer who had tried to grab her butt. He had ended up with four stitches right above his left eye and she was sent home without a paycheck.

“You think he’ll have you again?” Waverly already knew the answer. Doc always gave everyone a second chance, even though they both knew she didn’t deserve it.

“I dunno, baby girl. I’ll have to ask him in the morning.” With that she stood up, gathered her empty bottles and hesitated a second before she kissed her baby sister on the forehead and headed downstairs.

Waverly sighed. She loved her sister, but she was already bracing herself for what would inevitable be goodbye in a few weeks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lovey-dovey stuff with Champ in chapter 1, I promise there won't be so much more of that!
> 
> This week: When will Wynonna leave for the open road again? Will Waverly fulfill her destiny as an Earp and conquer the whiskey? And what is the tacky Christmas present from Champ?
> 
> Thanks as always to my amazing friend slash beta jorekbyrnison.

Maple leaves turned yellow and orange and then fell off their branches as Autumn came to its end, and Wynonna was _still there_.

As much as she tried to suppress it, there was a slither of hope building in Waverly’s chest that maybe, just _maybe_ she would stay this time. Wynonna hadn’t mentioned the freedom of the open road, the carefree potential of a gassed up motorbike since her return. Waverly wondered if maybe she was tired of always running, tired of a fleeting life with no harbour. Maybe this time she was willing to _stay_.

Money wasn’t an issue. Doc let her work weekends and the occasional day shifts during the week and it seemed she had been no trouble for him and the bar. She could pack up her fresh savings, get a new ride and get the hell out. But she didn’t. And Waverly _loved_ it.

It had become something of a tradition for her to go to Peacemaker after school instead of going home whenever Wynonna was there, with Gus picking her up before dinner. Of course she was far too young to be allowed in, but Doc had quickly taken a liking to the bright young girl and informed the rest of the staff that Waverly Earp was always welcome - as long as she didn’t try to order any booze or converse with the breezy students. Waverly was more than happy to uphold her part of the deal.

She would sit in a hidden corner quietly doing her homework and sipping a tall glass of bubbly water, not being a bother to anyone. Doc sometimes sauntered over when the bar was low on customers to tell her stories about the Wild West and other exciting parts of American history. He was from Colorado himself and had a big interest for the history of his nation. Then there was the fact that he had halfway completed medical school, and had a vast knowledge in science and physiology. He proved to be a great resource in the rare occasion that Waverly was stuck on an assignment.

She had noticed how her sister interacted in an increasingly familiar fashion with Doc, flipping her washcloth at his butt and teasing him about his Southern drawl. But her demeanor would shift immediately whenever a customer snapped their fingers to get her attention and ordered yet another pitcher without a “please”. Whenever Wynonna flipped off those rude heavy drinkers - usually with good reason - the newly appointed bouncer, Dolls, somehow dissolved any looming trouble, gently stearing Wynonna away from the culprits while at the same time casting them a daring glare. The two men kept her in line in their own discreet ways.

Gus was going back to Purgatory again the first week of December. She told Waverly she wanted to try and find a permanent solution to her business with Shorty’s bar. In Waverly’s opinion that could only have one of two outcomes: either Gus had to sell her share of the bar or they had to move back to the town that only held bad memories for the Earp sisters. She was sure Wynonna would not follow them back to that hellmouth, leaving Waverly without her friends or without her sister. She tried not to think about it too much.

Wynonna had received specific instructions to act as the responsible adult while Gus was away for the weekend. In the meantime Waverly was asked to keep her big sister from drinking Gus’ best bottle of whiskey.

Of course, the bottle was empty when Waverly returned from cheerleading practice the first day. Waverly scolded her, but Wynonna promised to buy a new one off of her own salary before Gus returned on Sunday evening. In return she let Waverly go on a trip that weekend without telling Gus, on the condition that she was home before their Aunt returned from Purgatory.

It was Waverly’s first trip with only friends. They were gonna go to Stephanie Jones’ cabin with Chrissy, Stephanie, Sonya, Champ, Carl and the York brothers. Waverly knew Gus didn’t much appreciate Champ, so going on an overnight trip would probably not go down well. The new crisis at Shorty’s couldn’t have arrived at a better time.

Wynonna was casually leaning against the wall in the hallway while Waverly gathered her last things. Champ stood in the doorway, not daring to meet the warning flickering in Wynonna’s eyes. Wynonna had a way of throwing mocking comments around to everyone in her vicinity, but Champ seemed to be a particularly favourable target. He received some of her more refined remarks, much to his dislike. Champ had always been the popular boy, the ice hockey captain, the handsome senior - certainly not the laughing stock of his girlfriend’s sister. Waverly suspected he was a bit afraid of Wynonna and honestly thought it was kind of funny. Having a protective sister was kinda nice.

“Okay, we’re off,” Waverly finally said and slipped on her sky blue parka with faux fur around the hood. Champ hastily grabbed her bag and reached for the door.

“Hey, Chimp, no funny business, alright? I want my baby girl to be safe and well when I see her on Sunday.”

Champ nodded quickly and left without another word. Waverly smiled at her sister and kissed her cheek farewell. “Be nice to him.”

\---

Wynonna was bent double laughing when Waverly returned home two days later. She crashed on the couch with a groan and a light green tint on her face.

The trip had been nothing but drinking. The York brothers had managed to buy a ton of beer by using their fake IDs and Stephanie had raided her parents liquor cabinet for whiskey and rum. Waverly had been drunk a couple of times before but nothing like this. All the others were downing one plastic cup of lukewarm beer after the other and she would be damned if _she_ , Waverly freakin’ _Earp_ , was not gonna join in - and win - a drinking competition. It was her heritage, damn it, and she was ready to fulfil her destiny. Or so she told her friends at strip poker the first night, with her fourth drink in hand.

Her optimistic plans of taking a hike or devour her new book on lost languages were soon forgotten. She was flat out drunk by the time the sky had turned dark on Friday evening.

Everything was a haze. She could only just remember waking up on Saturday, naked in bed with an equally naked gross-smelling Champ next to her and a stale flavour in her mouth. The unpleasant feeling of her exposed skin and her queasy stomach were soon forgotten when Stephanie spiked her orange juice at breakfast and they were at it again.

Day two turned out to be quite fun, and more importantly: it did not end in a blackout. They played Ring of Fire, where Champ was the lucky winner of a plastic cup with equal parts beer, red wine and some sort of foreign vodka with a label not even Waverly could translate. When he slid his tongue down Waverly’s throat later she could taste a hint of coconut.

The drinking games continued with Never Have I Ever, where Stephanie proudly drank sip after sip. Waverly doubted if everything she confessed to was real (had she really given a teacher a blow job last year?) but didn't care to argue with her. Chrissy drank together with the others when Sonya said “never have I ever lost my virginity” even though Waverly knew for a fact that the summer fling with Perry had ended only with stolen kisses by the lake and not so much as a discarded shirt. Chrissy met her eyes just before emptying the rest of her beer and gave her a silent warning not to spill her secret. Waverly, of course, said nothing and took a sip of her own drink (gin and lemon soda). Only Kyle York confessed to still being a virgin and became the laughing stock of the evening.

The night ended with a heated round of Truth or Dare. Waverly and Chrissy shared a kiss, as did Sonya and Pete York. Waverly proudly drank the shot of tequila instead of letting Kyle “honk her boob”, leaving a disappointed Kyle and a laughing Champ. The night ended with Stephanie giving Champ a lap dance to Marvin Gaye's “Sexual Healing”. Waverly quickly looked away from the pair when Stephanie seductively slipped her shirt off and ignored the fact that Champ put his clammy hands on her hips as she was wiggling her butt on his lap. She was silently happy when Champ vomitted the contents of his stomach into the toilet an hour later, even though she was lovingly stroking his back and handing him a glass of water.

Chrissy had luckily taken the wheel on Sunday, not having indulged in the heavy drinking the night before. She had promised her Dad, the Police Chief, she would act as the responsible person and get them home safely. Waverly had asked her to stop three times to vomit out the side door, resulting in a rather late return.

She felt gross. Sure, she was hungover, nauseous, tired and had a throbbing headache at the back of her skull. But losing control over her memories and her body like she had the first night made her queasy in a whole different way. Just the feeling of waking up naked without having any memory of how she had ended up that way kinda scared her. She knew it was probably nothing too bad. After all, she had woken up next to her boyfriend. But it still felt wrong. She hadn’t asked Champ about what they had done in her drunken state, afraid of what the answer would be.

“Here.”

Wynonna put a tall glass in front of her. It was filled with a thick, red, chunky liquid that smelled vaguely of bacon. Waverly was thinking about going vegetarian and had been cutting back on meat lately, but she had yet to transition into it being a full-time thing. She cautiously reached for the glass and sniffed it.

“What is it?” Waverly croaked with her spent voice and tried to push herself up into a more vertical position while at the same time balancing Wynonna’s mysterious concoction.

“It’s my special hangover cure. Tested and approved by moi,” Wynonna said proudly.

Waverly managed to gulp most of it down with some help from her sister. After a while she actually felt a bit better - at least good enough to watch some trash TV.

“So, good weekend?” Wynonna asked finally, a glint of humour in her eye.

Waverly shook her head, causing her stomach to churn uncomfortably. She grimaced and said nothing.

Wynonna smiled pitifully.

When Gus eventually returned home late in the evening, Wynonna told her Waverly was feeling ill and had gone to bed early. It wasn’t really a lie.

\---

It had been years since Wynonna had spent Christmas with her family. Waverly knew it was a difficult time for her sister. The car crash had happened right before the Holidays all those years ago, leaving Wynonna with cruel nightmares ever since. Waverly could remember her sister isolating herself with booze and guilt the last time they had spent Christmas together, back when they still lived in Purgatory. But when she stumbled upon Wynonna clutching an old photograph of the three Earp sisters in her bedroom on Christmas Eve, the lone wolf only shrugged and offered to help Waverly with dinner.

This Christmas everything felt _right_. Waverly loved every second of it. She felt like her sister was finally back in her life, and for some reason it seemed like Wynonna had accepted living the slow life and spending some time with her family as well.

The morning of Christmas Day was perfect. The house was filled with laughter and warmth and the delicious smell of Christmas cake and turkey roast - a pleasant contrast to the cold snow that piled up ever higher outside. Shorty had driven down from Purgatory to spend the Holidays with them seeing as he had no family of his own and Waverly thought the four of them almost resembled a real family.

She had insisted on preparing a traditional Christmas dinner for the ensemble as she deemed a party of four enough to devour an entire turkey. (Her vegetarian project was put on hold for the occasion.) The last couple of years a stuffed turkey breast had been more than enough for Waverly and her Aunt. But this year Waverly spent the whole day in the kitchen cooking turkey, peeling parsnips and mashing potatoes. Wynonna was sat at the kitchen table while Waverly worked, enjoying the expensive bottle of whiskey she had gifted Gus.

It was a perfect day - except for a minor incident after dinner when they were all stuffed and gathered around the Christmas tree.

Champ’s tacky gift turned out to be both an embarrassment and disappointment. It was a cheap white t-shirt that said “Property of my boyfriend” with an arrow pointing to her crotch and two arrows pointing upward to her chest area. She quickly hid it from view, but too late.

“I bet it goes well with that expensive watch you bought him, Waves,” Wynonna commented in a sarcastic drawl. Shorty pretended to study the stitching on the maroon flannel Waverly had gifted him.

But the feeling quickly evaporated when Waverly uncovered the book on Greek mythology - written in actual Ancient Greek - that Wynonna had bought for her. Wynonna gave a nonchalant shrug and mumbled “You couldn’t shut up about it.”, but Gus caught her smiling fondly at her baby sister when Waverly sprinted upstairs to get her Greek dictionary and spent the rest of the evening on her stomach in front of the pleasantly crackling fireplace, eagerly studying her new book.

Gus had been cautious when Wynonna returned. The rebel outcast would surely be a distraction and a bad influence on Waverly, she had thought with good reason. But it seemed the reunion of the sisters had quite the opposite effect. Although she could still not trust Wynonna to stay away from the liquor cabinet, she noticed that her clothes looked less ragged and the bags under her eyes were slowly fading. She was now working four or five shifts at Peacemaker every week, and Doc had no complaints on her work ethics. It seemed the task of taking care of Waverly when Gus was away had nudged her into taking on some adult responsibility.

Which was why Gus could trust the girls to be alright when she broke the news.

“Girls, come here for a second.”

Wynonna was busy licking the front of her Christmas sweater after she had spilled a good portion of her third cup of eggnog all over it. The festive skull was now covered in frothy liquid in addition to the cheerful red Christmas hat. Wynonna gave up her cleaning project and nudged Waverly’s butt with her foot. She looked up from the chapter on the goddess Athena, not having heard Gus’ silent request.

The girls settled around their Aunt sensing this was going to be a rather serious conversation. Shorty excused himself to the kitchen to take care of the dishes. They could hear the clanking of plates and cutlery and his cheerful whistling to a Christmas tune while Bing Crosby sang on the radio as Gus reached out to hold the palms of the two sisters. The usual brusque lines on her forehead were soft and her eyes were filled with motherly warmth.

“Waverly. You have created such a full life for yourself. Great achievements at school, a nice group of friends.” She hesitated. “Champ.” She squeezed Waverly’s hand. “My point is, you are ready for anything. Whatever life hands you, I know you will deal with it appropriately. You have grown into being such a fine young woman and I’m so proud of you.”

Waverly smiled shyly. She could feel a lump building in her throat, a mixture of pride for her Aunt’s sincere words and fright for what was to come.

Gus turned to face Wynonna who immediately shrunk in on herself. Surely there were no nice things to say about the good-for-nothing screw-up when her angel sister was sitting right at her side.

“Wynonna, you’ve come so far. You have a nice job and you’ve really started to take responsibility around the house. You take care of my little girl while I’m away.”

They were silent for a minute, the three of them shyly glancing at each other with tiny smiles. Wynonna sniffled and ducked her head. Gus gave their hands another comforting squeeze before she continued.

“You both know Shorty is not well. He cannot manage the bar by himself anymore. We either have to sell the bar, or…”

“You have to move back to Purgatory,” Waverly finished for her. She had suspected this for a while.

Gus nodded. “Yes.”

Wynonna let out a ragged breath. “Dude, I thought you were dying or something.”

Gus only chuckled. “Waverly is right, I’m gonna move back home. I don’t know if it’s permanently yet, but I have to handle some business and I can’t do it from here. And I know your life is so good here, Waverly.”

 _Fuck_. 

Gus was gonna make her leave everything behind. She would have to go back to the rumours and stares of her former classmates in Purgatory. She would have to finish her _last_ semester of high school in that cursed place and graduate away from her friends. She would have to break up with Champ and her friendships would crumble. It was not _fair_.

Waverly’s brain immediately started to build her defence, compiling an extensive list of arguments to let her stay.

But Gus cut through her rambling thoughts. “I don’t want to make you leave, not when your graduation is so close.”

Waverly froze. Her Aunt would never let her stay alone for a whole semester. But then she eyed her apparently unsuspecting sister and understood.

“So, I want to ask you, Wynonna.” Gus turned to look at her. “Could you do me the honour of taking care of our angel until she finishes high school?”

Gus turned her piercing eyes to Wynonna. When the question finally reached the last of her numb brain cells she immediately started blabbering: “Yes! Yes, of course. Yeah, totally. I will.”

Waverly laughed with relief and hugged them both. She would live with only her sister until the summer. That meant Wynonna would stay at least until then. It was the best Christmas gift she could have wished for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be up next Wednesday!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week’s chapter is rather short, but kinda important…
> 
> Thanks again to my awesome friend and beta jorekbyrnison. You’re the best.

Gus had compiled an entire list of house rules before leaving. (“Why does she suddenly have rules when we were just fine when she was away before Christmas,” Wynonna asked annoyed when they went through the list.) There were curfews and shopping budgets and strict “no sleepovers on weeknights”. Most of them applied more to Wynonna than to Waverly. After one look at the sheet of paper, the girls made a silent agreement that they would just stick to the rules that fit with their already established routines and lie about the rest. 

So when Gus called after three days Waverly told her with a straight face that Wynonna had dropped her off at school every morning, even though she had caught a ride with Chrissy’s father Randy instead. And when Gus texted Wynonna on Saturday evening asking why Waverly wasn’t picking up her phone, Wynonna replied that they had an emergency cheerleading practice before the big game next week, when Waverly was in fact preoccupied with watching her boyfriend play Assassins Creed on Xbox.

It was true that Wynonna misliked Champ quite a bit - although, was anyone really good enough for her baby sister? - but she misliked being a snitch even more.

So it all worked out fine.

Whenever Wynonna had a day shift she would get them take-away on her way home. On her days off however, Waverly would usually cook them something vegetarian (Wynonna was not pleased).

Like today.

It was Sunday evening and Waverly was making soup. Carrot and ginger. “ _ Carotte et gingembre _ ,” Waverly repeated in her head. She had a French test tomorrow.

A text ticked in.

_ Wynonna  _ [7:31]: “wheres your tamps”

Waverly scrunched her face in thought. Where had she last seen tampons? They were usually in her drawer in the bathroom, but she suspected Wynonna had already invaded that privacy. Then she remembered Wynonna had snatched the last two she had a few weeks ago.

_ Waverly  _ [7:33]: “Didn’t you steal my last ones?”

A minute. Then another ping. 

_ Wynonna  _ [7:34]: “that was way before xmas. didnt you buy new ones?”

The sound of the toilet flushing and the bathroom door opened upstairs. Waverly was stirring the soup as Wynonna came into the kitchen. She eyed her sister and gestured to Wynonna’s pelvis area.

“What happened to your  _ situation _ ?”

“Just stuffed some TP down there.”

Wynonna looked at her baby sister in thought. “Did you get one of those bloody cups that everyone’s nagging about?” 

It would certainly not be a surprise if Waverly had transitioned to a more sustainable and environmentally conscious choice for her period. Wynonna could swear she had seen a pamphlet or two with the Green Devils-logo on it lying around somewhere.

Waverly shook her head slightly, not really following the conversation. She had chosen to ignore Wynonna’s quest for tampons and was silently rehearsing the French grammar she was supposed to know tomorrow.

But Wynonna wasn’t done. “Did you skip a period?”

Waverly finally turned around. “What is this? An interrogation about my menstrual cycle?”

With all the extra cheer practices in preparation of the big game on Wednesday, her French test had received limited attention and her temper was shorter than usual when it came to Wynonna’s distractions.

“Yes. That’s exactly what this is.” A pause. “Did you take those pills that help you skip a period? You know you’re only supposed to use them when you really need them. I learned  _ that _ the hard way,” Wynonna added under her breath.

“Wynonna, stop. I’m not on the pill.”

Wynonna raised her eyebrows, but in that moment the soup started to flow over the edge of the saucer and Waverly was preoccupied with pulling the pan off the pit and cursing in three languages. “ _ Merde,  _ fucking  _ Scheisse. _ ” 

“You’re not on the pill? I thought you and Chumpy-Chump where doing the humpy-hump?”

Waverly turned around. She was starting to get really pissed. “This is none of your frickin’ business, Wy. Just let me be.”

She turned around again to tend to their dinner which had started to smell rather charcoal-y, but she could hear Wynonna opening her mouth again. This had been a long fucking day and now her soup was ruined and she could not get her annoying sister to shut the hell up. She spun around and sneared angrily, pointing with the dripping ladle. “We use condoms, okay? Doesn’t anyone use frickin’ condoms anymore?”

Champ had been nagging about it for a while too. It had started just a few weeks after their first time, and she had told him she would think about it. And she had. In fact, she had already been thinking about it ever since she first decided she was ready to sleep with him. There were so many options - pills, implants, patches, IUDs, shots - but it just felt  _ unfair _ . They were all tailored to protect  _ women _ from getting pregnant. They were used by  _ women  _ and the side-effects and costs were endured by  _ women _ . She had read articles about the different options and their pros and cons, and had listened to Stephanie complain about the weight gain and the pimples she had gotten after starting on the pill. Waverly had decided that she would wait, at least for a bit, before she would start feeding her body hormones. Champ would just have to deal with condoms until then, no matter the amount of complaining.

Wynonna finally backed off and sat down at the already set kitchen table while Waverly tried to recover their meal as best as she could. Finally the soup was on the table. Wynonna watched in silence as Waverly ladled the orange liquid into her bowl. Her head was somewhere else today, preoccupied with concerns about homework and cheerleading. With her spoon gripped tightly in her hand, Wynonna gave it one last try. 

“Waves… I’m just asking you to do the math. Hell, you know it better than I do.” 

Waverly took a piece of bread and reached for the butter, still tuning out the annoying tone of her sister. Wynonna bravely pushed on.

“If you haven’t had your period since before I lent those tampons, that means I’ve had my period twice in the meantime, and you haven’t had yours since way before Christmas.”

She watched as the words finally penetrated Waverly’s big brain. Her face changed when she started to think things over, her eyes searching for something only she could see. The slice of bread she was buttering was already well-covered, but she kept smearing her knife over it in a repetitive, thoughtless motion. Then she promptly stood up and reached for her phone on the kitchen counter, sliding her finger across the touch screen. Finally she spoke.

“My last period was November 20th. And today is January 13th.”

She looked up to face her older sister. 

Wynonna put down her spoon.

“Well. I’m going to go to the drugstore to get me some tampons, extra big ‘cause I’m starting to sense this MacGyver solution ain’t gonna hold.” 

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat before meeting Waverly’s frightened stare. 

“And also a pregnancy test.”

\---

Waverly was pacing back and forth in the living room. What was taking so long?

She looked at her phone again. Wynonna had left only 12 minutes ago. It would take her at least 10 minutes to get to the closest drug store. 5 minutes to find the products and pay. And 10 minutes to get back home. Meaning Waverly had plenty of time to pace the floor before she got back.

Her period tracker-app was open on her phone. She had flipped through the calendar several times now, but there was still no red dot anywhere to be found on the December page. How could she not have noticed that it had been two frickin’ months since her last period? Sure, she didn’t really miss the bloody mess and the cramps, and she had never been super regular anyway. Sometimes her period would be off by a couple of days, but judging to the data in her app never more than a week.

Could she have forgotten to plot the data from last time? A very human mistake indeed, but not a very Waverly-mistake.

When Stephanie had told her about the app she had hastily filed as much data as she could into the program. As well as being able to more or less predict her periods, Waverly thought it would be kind of cool to understand her cycle a bit better. When to expect cramps and mood swings and that kind of thing. 

Waverly sighed and looked at the digital clock again. Only three minutes had passed since the last time she checked. She turned to go pee while she waited, but abruptly stopped in her tracks halfway up the stairs before she remembered she would have to pee on a stick in just a few minutes. Better hold it then. 

When she reached the living room again ready to resume her pacing, Wynonna burst through the door, breathing heavily and brushing flecks of fresh snow from her windswept hair.

Without a word she handed the small paper bag to Waverly and then stormed up the stairs to the bathroom.

“Sorry, I just gotta. You know. Stick one up there.”

Waverly unwrapped the rectangular box and read the instructions thoroughly.

“Remove the cap. Pee on the absorbent side of the stick for at least 5 seconds. Put it on a flat surface. Wait three minutes.” She turned the box in her fingers, looking if there was anything more to it. “That’s it?”

Wynonna hurried downstairs again, flapping her newly washed still-wet hands as she went. “You ready?”

Waverly nodded and started towards the toilet at a slow pace. 

“Waves, it’ll be alright.”

Waverly did not answer.

\---

Three minutes was a fucking lifetime. 

The stick lay on the bathroom sink (“Gross!” according to Wynonna) and the two sisters were staring at it intensely as the timer on Wynonna’s phone slowly counted down the seconds. 

“It could be that your utero is just really messed up or something,” Wynonna tried. Waverly ignored her. “Maybe you’ve got cancer.”

“Wynonna,” Waverly warned with a growl. This was not the time for stupid jokes.

She was looking at the little square window on the far side of the stick. There was already one bright red line, which Waverly had read was the control line. But then she noticed the shadow of another line next to it. Was that..?

Waverly turned her back to the sink and sank to the floor. The timer went off.

“Wynonna, can you tell me?”

Silence.

She already knew the answer, but she wouldn’t accept it yet. She had to verify it.

And then…

“I think you’re pregnant.”

Waverly closed her eyes.

“Unless…”

Waverly whipped her head to look at her useless sister with a leaping heart. Wynonna was reading the folded paper of instructions.

“Two lines means it’s positive, right?”

Waverly nodded. “That’s what the box said.”

She had read the same paper that Wynonna was currently reading with a desperate frown. She knew what it said. 

_ “The Pregnancy Test, when performed correctly, showed an accuracy of greater than 99 % when compared to lab results.” _

The test wasn’t wrong. She had done everything right, she was sure of that.

But as long as Wynonna wasn’t sure, there was still hope. Right?

“And positive means  _ “Yay, you’re pregnant” _ ?”

Waverly nodded again.

“Well. Then... Yay, you’re pregnant!”

Waverly’s face turned white.

“More like  _ Nay _ , I guess...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! 
> 
> How will Waverly react? How will she handle the situation? All answered in next week's chapter. See you Wednesday!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, but another important one. As always, thanks to my wonderful beta jorekbyrnison.
> 
> I'm gonna go propose to my gf today, wish me luck!

On Monday, Waverly failed a test for the first time in her life. 

She had been perfectly capable of conjugating French verbs the day before, but when professor Beaufort placed the test sheet in front of her everything disappeared. Waverly took one look at it and knew this was not going to happen. After staring at the foreign words blankly for several minutes she forced herself to at least  _ try _ to write something, but she found herself mixing up imparfait and passé composé already at the first task and just gave up. 

Chrissy found her afterward and tried to ask her if she was okay. Waverly just shook her head.

When Champ sneaked his beefy arms around her torso and proceeded to kiss her neck (Chrissy was retching behind them) Waverly went stiff and just let him slabber all over her hair. When he finally noticed his unresponsive girlfriend he gave one look at her face and came to the conclusion that she was likely sick and therefore contagious. 

She didn’t see him the rest of the day.

\---

On Tuesday evening, Gus called for her weekly check-up and Waverly just started crying horribly as soon as she picked up the phone. After a few minutes of uncontrollable blubbering while Gus talked soothingly into her ear and asked what had happened, Waverly told her she had butchered her French test and hung up.

Wynonna found her curled up in bed an hour later when she came home from work. Her eyes were red and swollen and the pillow under her head was soaked in tears and snot. Wynonna wrapped herself protectively around her little sister and stroked her hair until they both fell asleep.

\---

On Wednesday, Waverly excused herself from English class and nearly didn’t make it to the girls’ bathroom before she had to puke. 

She got a sick note from the Nurse and went home. She fell asleep in her usual foetal position underneath her four blankets and didn’t hear any of the incoming texts and calls.

\---

On Thursday, Stephanie was furious at her. 

Waverly had forgotten about the big game yesterday where she was supposed to lead the cheering squad. When Waverly was nowhere to be seen, Steph had to step in as her co-captain and apparently it had been a fiasco.

Luckily the boys had won the game by a landslide. Everyone talked about that last spectacular goal by Champ and Pete’s elegant save, cheering loudly whenever one of the hockey players walked past them in the hallways. The rather lacking cheers didn’t really matter by comparison. 

Waverly tried to find Champ to congratulate him on the team’s win, but he shrugged her off and stalked away, clearly annoyed. 

When Chrissy looked at her with those big sympathetic eyes, Waverly just couldn’t take it anymore. She turned around and walked right out of school.

She had no idea where her feet where taking her - it seemed they were now in command of her body. Tears had eventually started streaming down her face until everything was a haze. She could hear cars going past her and saw the feet off people walking nearby, but she didn’t register any of it. 

Everything was just numb.

\---

Waverly’s feet were carrying her God knows where until suddenly:  _ blam _ .

Something collided heavily into her and knocked her sideways. A weight landed on her legs and pinned her to the ground. Succumbed to her horizontal position, Waverly let her tired head rest on the wet snow and closed her eyes against the flare of the street lamp above her. It felt kinda nice to surrender to this comfortable weight that was pressing her down. She could feel her body sinking further into the cold ground for every breath she took. 

It was over far too quickly.

“Oh my god, are you ok?”

The weight - a body - lifted from her feet. Waverly could feel a shadow fall across her face, and slowly opened half an eye.

“Ow.”

“I’m so, so sorry. I was just running, and I wasn’t really paying attention, and then - oh, god, I’m really sorry. Are you okay?”

A frantic voice was rambling above her but Waverly couldn’t hear it. Her hazy eyes adjusted to the face that was moving above her, the street lamp glowing like a halo around it. The face belonged to a young woman with kind brown eyes and pale skin. Her cheeks had turned bright and rosy in the biting cold, her breath coming out in small puffs of condensed vapor. Her skin looked so delicate and  _ soft _ , and Waverly just wanted to touch it. 

But when she moved to lift her finger to the stranger’s face, Waverly could suddenly feel the ache of her bruised shoulder and she noticed the low voices around them. A few people had stopped nearby and where looking at them curiously. Not helping, just  _ looking _ . 

Suddenly, Waverly felt kind of dumb laying there in the middle of the street, with her hand halfway stretched up towards some strange woman’s face. 

She had red hair, Waverly noticed. Fiery, like glowing embers. It was pulled taught into a french braid at the back of her head. The tips of her ears were as red as her cold cheeks.

The woman had stopped talking and smiled at her. A beautiful dimple appeared in her cheek. 

“Are you okay?” Her voice was low and soft, only for Waverly to hear.

Waverly nodded slowly but did nothing to move into a more upright position. The cold ground felt really comfortable for some reason. It had felt even better when the weight of the woman’s lanky body had pressed down on her a minute ago.

The woman gently wrapped her fingers around Waverly’s still outstretched wrist and put her other hand behind Waverly’s back. It was a reassuring touch. Gentle, exploring. Seeking permission. But also warm and safe.

“Can you stand?”

Waverly nodded again. Slowly, very slowly, she was helped onto her feet. 

The woman didn’t let go of her immediately. They just stood there, looking at each other for a bit. But then one of the bystanders, a plump man with a rough voice, asked if they were okay, and they quickly let go of each other. 

Waverly cleared her throat and looked shyly around at the spectators. “Yes. Yes, I’m ok.”

She finally noticed where she was. 

She had walked the entire way from her high school to the edge of the Ghost River University Campus. Peacemaker was just around the corner. 

She must have walked for an hour or more. No wonder it was getting dark.

She noticed the woman still standing close, still looking at her with those wonderfully curious eyes. Her gaze was so genuine, her concern almost palpable. 

Waverly slowly exhaled. “Uhm, hi.”

“Hi,” answered the woman. Her lips turned up into a delicate smile, making the dimple pop again. “I’m Nicole.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Nicole is here! Next week you'll get to see a proper conversation between our main characters.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wohoo! Nicole is here and they are gonna talk!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, my gf said yes! We're gonna be married! 
> 
> Thanks again to my amazing friend and beta  jorekbyrnison . Come talk to me on my  tumblr  if you want!

Nicole Haught had dug up her running shoes from the back of her closet and was just starting her warm-up. Upbeat pop-music was blasting loud enough in her ears to drown out her mother’s voice echoing through her mind. She rounded the corner at the edge of the University Campus, passing a group of students returning from a study session at the library, doing her best to stay upright on the slippery path. 

And then she had run straight into the young woman who was now staring into her eyes. 

It was obvious that the girl had been crying. Her eyes were red, and Nicole could see the dried up streaks of tears bending and turning in their various paths down her chin. Her lip was quivering slightly. She blinked several times, and the hazy emptiness hiding behind those big pupils turned into a rather curious glare.

“I’m Waverly.” Her voice was coarse. “Earp,” she added hastily.

Nicole smiled gently. “Well, Waverly Earp, you must be freezing.”

Waverly’s light blue winter coat was open, her long scarf loosely draped around her neck. Nicole noticed the tiny pink hearts on the fingertips of Waverly’s gloves. 

“Uhm, yes. I think. Yes. I’m cold.”

Nicole looked at her, puzzled. The young girl hadn’t noticed the cold before now. She had been too occupied to feel the freezing bite. Too occupied with whatever had left her red eyes teary and apprehensive. 

Nicole suddenly felt a gush of affection washing over her. She wanted to hold the shivering girl, protect her and tell her everything would be okay. 

“Do you want to go somewhere?” Nicole asked gently. 

Holding her would be a bit strange, as they had only just met. But she could defuse the situation and bring her somewhere safe. Get the schock-stricken girl away from the eyes of staring bypassers. She felt an unexplainable desperation to stay in Waverly Earp’s company, if only for a moment more. 

“Maybe get some cocoa?”

Waverly gestured at Nicole’s outfit. “I don’t want to ruin your run.”

Nicole smiled. “Don’t worry, I was nearly done anyway.” Waverly didn’t need to know that Nicole had only just started her warm-up, never mind the actual workout.

They started walking down the street. Around the corner was a bar, Peacemaker, where Nicole had enjoyed a beer with her classmates a few times. Nicole steered them away from the noise pouring from the crowded bar. That was definitely  _ not  _ the right place to bring the sniffling girl. She also kinda looked underage, Nicole thought with another curious look. Vastly mature surely, but there was something innocent about her.

They walked across the street from Peacemaker to the cozy café where Nicole liked to sit for hours with a double cappuccino. She would bring her laptop and her books and force herself to study, but she usually found herself pondering about her future while her coffee turned cold and her books were left untouched. 

“Hey, Nicole!”

Hetty Tate, the barista, greeted her. A redhead like Nicole, but with freckles, not bad looking at all. But Nicole always had to sit with her back to her because she simply could not stand the constant gum-chewing. 

Nicole threw the girl a perfect dimpled smile. She knew the effect of her smile on the barista, and sure enough, a slight rosy tint appeared on Hetty’s cheeks. Nicole liked to think this was the reason Hetty would sometimes bring her a free-of-charge refill or even a fresh-out-of-the-oven chocolate chip cookie. “It was ruined anyway,” Hetty would tell her, but Nicole could never find any flaws in the pastry. 

Nicole noticed Waverly looking at her with shy curiosity. 

Nicole cleared her throat and quickly dialled down the warm charm in her smile until there was only a kind and polite one left, suddenly very aware of Waverly’s eyes on her. “Hi, Hetty. Can we get two big cups of hot chocolate?”

“Sure thing. No coffee?” Nicole’s caffeine addiction was no secret to Hetty. All of her orders where usually with an extra shot of espresso.

“Not tonight.”

Nicole steered Waverly to a small table at the back of the establishment. 

Waverly shrugged out of her jacket and sat down. She kept looking at Nicole without saying anything. Suddenly the silence felt awkward.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Nicole asked again. “I hit you pretty hard.”

Waverly looked at her for a second, studying the overly concerned expression on Nicole’s face, and suddenly a small smile appeared, effectively smoothing out the worried features that were wrinkling up Waverly’s eyes and forehead. Nicole felt like a warm wave of  _ something  _ washed over her, heating up her chest. Waverly was truly beautiful. The smile ignited a spark in her eyes that had previously been missing. Hazel eyes, Nicole noticed. She swallowed heavily and had to concentrate to hear Waverly’s answer.

“Yeah, it’s okay. I wasn’t looking.”

“Me neither.”

They grinned at each other, eventually interrupted when Hetty came over with their drinks. Nicole immediately reached for her cup, taking a cautious sip. The sweet liquid warmed her chest and she hummed happily.

Waverly wrapped her hands around her own mug, but didn’t bring it to her mouth.

Nicole looked at her over her cup. “Warm?”

“Mmm,” purred Waverly contentedly. 

They sat in silence for a while, Nicole taking small sips while she tried to not burn her tongue and Waverly breathing in the chocolaty steam from her own cup. Her eyes were closed. Nicole wondered whether Waverly was simply enjoying the cup or if her mind had returned to the conflict of her struggles. 

Suddenly Waverly inhaled deeply and broke the delicate silence.

“I’m pregnant.” She opened her eyes only to stare at her cup, her thumb gently rubbing at the handle where it was chipped. The small crease between her eyebrows had returned, making Nicole’s heart sink.

“Oh?” said Nicole, not really knowing how to react. 

“Yeah.” She exhaled slowly. “That’s why I was walking. Away from… everything.”

Nicole nodded. Waverly was silent for a bit, but then drew a deep breath and continued talking.

“I haven’t told anyone yet. Only my sister.”

Nicole instinctively reached for her arm. Waverly looked up at her with pleading eyes. 

“I don’t know what to do.”

\---

Little by little, the dam broke. For the first time since forever, Waverly  _ talked _ .

She told Nicole about peeing on a stick and how her whole week had been a hell hole. She told her about her French test, about throwing up at school, about her sleeping through the game and Stephanie being angry, about Champ ignoring her. 

She told her about Purgatory and the nasty rumours she had left behind, about Daddy and Willa and the car crash, and about Wynonna going crazy for a bit (Nicole clutched her just a little tighter when Waverly told her about the mental institution where she had visited her sister). She told her about Gus moving back there because of Shorty and about Wynonna finally staying. 

She told Nicole about her love for languages and history, and about her ambitions for university. She told her about cheerleading being fun and all, but that she really poured her heart and soul into the Green Devils. She told her how she had finally managed to become a proud vegetarian, and how her homemade turkey on Christmas Day was the last time she had touched meat. 

She told her the pieces had all seemed to fall into place lately.

“But now everything is going to  _ shit _ .”

She put her empty cup down a little too hard on their small table. It was her second cup of cocoa. Hetty had also brought a macadamia and white chocolate-cookie, but Waverly had only eaten a few bites before shoving the plate towards Nicole. It lay untouched, their empty cups on either side of it.

Waverly looked at Nicole. She had just told her entire story to her. She hadn’t told Champ or Chrissy most of these things. Hell, even Wynonna didn’t know half of it. Only hours ago, Waverly had felt empty and numb, just a thoughtless collection of muscle and bones. And now all of her worries had come bubbling up to the surface, exposing herself to the stranger that was Nicole. 

Waverly suddenly realized she knew nothing about the woman. Only that she was a jogger and she had red hair. Probably a student.

_ No _ , she realized, looking down at her wrist, where Nicole was rubbing her thumb soothingly over Waverly’s knuckle.  _ I know she is kind. I know she has warm soft hands. I know her smile brings a pink blush to the barista. _

Their collision had shook Waverly awake, but she was still left at the side of the road all bruised and damaged. And then Nicole had been there to help her back up. She was like the harbour where Waverly had scrambled ashore. To rest. To be safe. If only for a little while.

She looked from their joined hands to Nicole’s face and received a warm smile. Nicole squeezed her wrist encouragingly. Something stirred in Waverly’s chest, almost like the delicious itch of a gentle tickle.

She sighed. “I should tell him.”

They had circled back to the pregnancy.

Before Nicole could say anything, Hetty was there to tell them she was closing. 

And then they were walking down the street again, Nicole clutching Waverly’s half-eaten cookie in a napkin. They were silent finally. Nicole could feel Waverly pondering next to her, her brows scrunched together. After a minute she spoke.

“There is gonna be a baby.”

Nicole swallowed a bite and inspected Waverly’s face. It was a strange statement, one that Waverly had just realized was true.

“I’m gonna be a  _ mother _ .”

“Well,” Nicole started casually, “only if you want to.”

Waverly looked at her with a sideways glance but didn’t answer, so Nicole continued. “I mean, you have options.”

Waverly grew silent again and Nicole left her with her own thoughts. 

The bright high school senior looked defeated, unsure of what was right and what was wrong anymore. The clear path she had chosen for her life was misty now, the road ahead difficult to comprehend. 

“I should really tell Champ.” She was adamant that he should have some say in this.

Waverly stopped under a street lamp and turned to Nicole. 

“Wynonna never liked him.”

Nicole searched her face.

“Do _you_?”

Waverly was taken aback by Nicole’s frankness. She glared at her, offended at first, but then her eyebrows scrunched up in thought. They had only just met, but it seemed Nicole understood things about Waverly’s life that she never had.

It was a tough question. One that, if she was honest, had been at the back of her mind for some time. One that she never dared ask herself, because it meant she had to face the truth.

“I think I did. At first. But then…”

She started walking again, Nicole quickly catching up with her. It was easier to talk without looking at Nicole’s inquisitive face. It made her think about the hard stuff. 

“But then  _ not  _ I think.”

Nicole nodded and took another bite of the cookie.

Waverly was clearly thinking things over again, so Nicole said nothing. 

“But now I’m pregnant, so it doesn’t really matter if I like him or not.”

Waverly had always pictured her future with a husband (not Champ) and their children happily playing on their front yard. She had never thought about what she would do if something like this happened. 

Nicole grasped her hand again and squeezed it to get her attention. “Why doesn’t it matter?”

“I just have to make it work,” Waverly decided. 

Nicole frowned. “Do you  _ want  _ to make it work?”

They had circled the Campus and where back to the corner where they had collided some hours earlier. 

The girls stopped walking, sensing that they were nearing the end of their evening. 

Waverly was nudging the snow with her boot, not meeting Nicole’s eyes. Nicole had been pretty much quiet up until now, just asking questions whenever Waverly didn’t know what to say next. But now she was asking all these important things that Waverly was so afraid of. Things that she had buried deep in her mind.

“Why do you want to fix things with him?” Nicole asked again. She only partially succeeded in hiding the fact that she thought this Champ-guy was kind of a dick.  _ Is Champ even a name? _

Waverly looked up, not quite understanding Nicole’s point. “But I’m pregnant.”

“So what? Do you even want to keep it?”

Waverly was quiet again, so Nicole continued. “I mean, you’re still in high school, Waverly. There’s no shame in getting an abortion.”

There it was. Wynonna had sort of hinted at it the other night but she hadn’t actually said the words. Waverly knew it was an option - maybe even the best option. But it was hard being rational when there were also emotions. 

“Or not. You can keep it, or you can give it up for adoption, or anything you want. But if you don’t wanna be with Champ,  _ don’t _ . Don’t let your pregnancy decide who you wanna be with.”

Waverly could feel fresh tears forming in her eyes. Wasn’t she dried out yet?

Nicole pulled her close and wrapped her arms protectively around her shoulders, tucking her under her chin. Nicole was warm and smelled sweet, like vanilla. It filled her whole attention and she could feel her chest warming up with the delicate scent. Nicole’s arms felt so  _ safe _ .

They stayed that way for a while. Waverly was quietly sobbing into the crook of Nicole’s neck, softly trembling while Nicole stroked her wavy hair. She fit perfectly into Nicole’s warm embrace. 

But then Waverly could feel Nicole starting to shiver - not surprisingly, as Nicole was only wearing running tights and a thin softshell jacket, and she gently pulled away from the safe warmth that she provided. 

Nicole peered down at her, her face only inches away.

“You should go get warm,” Waverly suggested with a weak smile.

Nicole nodded but didn’t let go. “Do you want me to walk you home?”

“That’s alright, I’ll just go to Peacemaker.”

Nicole frowned. Although she didn’t look it Waverly was an underage high school student. Dolls the bouncer was obviously never gonna let her in.

Waverly giggled at the look on Nicole’s face. “My sister works there.”

“Oh.” Nicole suddenly gaped at her. “Oh! Is  _ that _ your sister? Damn.”

She could picture the brown-haired bartender who had only worked at the bar the last couple of months. She did look a bit like Waverly now that she thought about it. 

Waverly frowned a bit at the “damn”. Was it a “damn, I never would have guessed” or a “damn, that chick is hot”? 

“Well, okay then.” Nicole hadn’t noticed Waverly’s sudden uncertainty and she started to slowly untangle herself from the girl. “I’ll just head home. Take a shower.”

Waverly nodded. Why did she even care what Nicole thought about her sister? 

Neither of them wanted to leave. But then a violent shiver shook Nicole’s body and Waverly pushed at her jokingly. 

“Go! Get warm.”

“Yeah, okay.” Nicole turned hesitantly. “See you around, maybe?” 

And then she was off, walking away from Waverly.

“Hey, Nicole.” Nicole turned, a hopeful question on her face. “Thank you. I needed it.”

She smiled. “Anytime.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week Waverly reflects on her bump-in with Nicole and makes a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a week, friends! Season 4 is finally back on track and it's the final week of WWC19. I'm so excited about everything.
> 
> Big hugs to my friend and beta  jorekbyrnison . Find me @  tumblr 

Waverly had a lot to think about. 

She sat at her usual table in the corner at the back of Peacemaker while Wynonna worked the last hours of her late-night shift. Waverly would usually be in bed by now, but let’s face it: her sleep schedule was already ruined. Tomorrow would suck, but it didn’t matter. 

Because Waverly had a lot to think about.

Nicole had helped Waverly to put some clarity in her mind. It was strange, because Waverly was the most organized person she knew. She was a  _ planner _ . But that seemed to have failed her this week. Walking and talking with Nicole had finally organized the chaotic landscape of her mind. 

Now, after having told Nicole goodbye only a few minutes ago, Waverly sat with her leather notebook in front of her. Gus had given it to her for Christmas. Only a few pages were filled with plans for new cheerleading routines, lists of potential colleges and universities and homework assignments. 

It had been years since Waverly had written a diary. When she was little she used to write in a small book with purple fur with a tiny lock and a tiny key. Her father had bought it after Waverly had cried and cried about it for a week.  She would write down all her anger and sadness whenever Willa was mean to her, or when the children at school laughed at her for not having a mother to sew the tears in her clothes. She was a lonely child, but she always found comfort in the little book.

Some years later Uncle Curtis bought her a new diary. She never told him about the kids at school teasing her for her loony sister and her dead father. An orphan they called her. But she was sure he knew about it anyway. He always knew. When he brought her the light blue book and the fluffy pink pen he told her she could write in it whenever she felt sad or wanted to clear her mind. And she did. She filled every page until there were no more pages left. And then Curtis bought another one, peach this time. And she filled this book as well. 

But then Curtis died and it stopped making sense to write down her feelings. Her words didn’t do anything good anyway.

The two diaries, the light blue and the peach, were still on a shelf in her bedroom. Waverly had never opened them, afraid to remember the pain and loneliness of her former self. She knew the books described the constant internal conflict of a young teenager who had lost her father and a sister. She spent months drowning in shame for being the surviving child after such a tragedy. And then she spent years trying to shake of the guilt for becoming a happier child after she moved in with Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis. With time and effort those feelings had slowly dried out, but they were still there, in those diaries on a dusty shelf in her bedroom. 

When they moved from Purgatory Waverly’s life had finally been good, and the need to process her thoughts and emotions with wet ink on blank pages disappeared. People always said that high school sucked, but Waverly had found the opposite to be true. High school had been the first time in her life she’d had real friends, someone to share her interests with and to laugh with. And when Champ had started paying attention to her she had been over the moon. He was so handsome and popular and he wanted  _ her _ . She was allowed to sit at the jocks’ table at lunch and people suddenly wanted to talk to her and be friends. 

Waverly looked at the notebook in front of her. Diaries were for sadness and tears. There had been enough of that this week. Now she just needed to find a solution to her problems. She needed to find her way back to her path. She decided that she could do exactly that without starting another diary.

After several long minutes of staring at the blank pages in front of her, Waverly took a deep breath and finally put her pen on the paper. She wrote  _ Pregnancy _ at the top of the page, and then another word on the next page:  _ Champ _ . Those were her problems, those were her categories.

She started to fill the two pages with lists of pro’s and con’s, and then she wrote another title on a third page ( _ To Do _ ) and listed all the things she had to take care of the next few days.

Wynonna came by her table to give her a refill of sparkling water. Waverly had been there for an hour, carefully scribbling in her book with a crease between her eyebrows and silent determination on her face.

Wynonna mused at her sister. She had been a proper mess since Sunday evening, but something was different now. “You look… better.”

Waverly looked up at her sister. She had barely noticed her walking over. 

“Yeah, I uh… I just took a walk and thought things over for a bit.” For some reason she didn’t want to tell Wynonna about Nicole. 

Wynonna squeezed her arm and turned around to walk back to the bar. “I’m off in thirty minutes,” she said over her shoulder.

Waverly nodded and looked down at the pages in front of her. 

Under  _ Pregnancy  _ she had listed  _ Cons: still in high school, too young, no income, Champ is the father _ . She looked at the last argument for a minute, feeling bad for putting him on the cons-list. After a minute she added a question mark to soften the blow a little (she knew he would never read the list, but it cleared her conscience a little anyway). The column with  _ Pros _ was dauntingly empty. She had considered writing  _ being a mother _ but she couldn’t decide if it was really a pro at this stage of her life. She briefly considered putting it under  _ Cons _ instead but a sudden wave of guilt washed over her so she decided not to list it at all.

Her eyes shifted over to the next page,  _ Champ _ . This page was much fuller than the first.  _ Been together for over a year _ was at the top of the left side, while  _ Wynonna and Gus don’t like him _ was written in the right column.  _ He loves me _ and  _ It’s easy _ were other pros. At the bottom of the cons’ side she had written  _ Pretty sure he’s been cheating _ in tiny letters. 

Waverly had suspected it for a while. Sometimes when he told her he was hanging out playing computer games with the guys, the York brothers had let slip that they had been busy doing something else at lunch the next day. She had noticed a hickey on his chest one time that he told her was a bruise after a puck hit him in the chest at practice. And then there was Melanie Foster’s birthday party. She had arrived late because she had to finish an essay for English, and when she had gone to the kitchen to help herself with punch she had seen Champ sloppily making out with another girl in a corner. When he had pinned Waverly to the wall an hour later she had just pretended she hadn’t seen anything. 

On the last page she had written  _ Talk to Champ _ and  _ Get an appointment with the school nurse _ . She added  _ Apologize to the squad _ and nodded, pleased with her progress. It was a good start. 

Wynonna’s shift finally finished and they drove home in silence. 

A little while later Waverly sat waiting in her bed for her sister. They had a silent agreement that Wynonna would curl protectively around her baby sister and stroke her hair until she fell asleep. Waverly could hear Wynonna sorting through the heap of clothes on her own bedroom floor for a sleep t-shirt, and quickly dug up her notebook from her bag. She looked over the short  _ To Do _ -list one more time and added two words.

_ Find Nicole _ .

\---

The next morning felt different. 

_ Waverly  _ felt different. Prepared. Ready to face the world. 

It seemed some order was restored when Wynonna entered the kitchen  _ after  _ Waverly was already done making coffee and preparing her lunch. 

Waverly had nearly gagged when opening the fridge. She identified the source of the horrific odour to be a pack of turkey slices Wynonna had recently opened. The smell had been overwhelmingly nauseating, and she ended up throwing the entire pack in the trash. It wasn’t even past its consumption date. 

Waverly put a mug in front of Wynonna as she slumped down in her usual chair at the kitchen table. She sat perfectly still with her eyes shut and softly swaying. Waverly was almost sure that she had fallen asleep again. 

“Wy,” Waverly chimed gently as she sat down nursing her own hot mug of coffee. She should probably research how much caffeine she was allowed to drink in her new state. 

Wynonna gave no answer so Waverly reached across the table and put a hand on her sister’s arm. 

“Wynonna.”

Wynonna scrunched her eyes up and opened her left eye, squinting cautiously. She grunted.

“You don’t have to get up so early just for me, Wy. I can ask Chrissy if they can pick me up for school.”

Wynonna rubbed her eye and forced herself awake. 

“I know, baby girl, but I wanna - You know -” She swallowed and didn’t finish the sentence. But Wynonna’s eyes told the rest: _ I wanna be there for you. _

\---

Waverly managed to bribe Wynonna into going back to bed without considerable resistance. She promised they would eat dinner tonight after her cheerleading practice and figure out a proper plan for how they should proceed. That is, Waverly was going to include her sister in the plan she had figured out yesterday.

So Waverly waited on the corner of her street for Chief Nedley to pick her up. 

Chrissy very subtly asked Waverly if she was okay as they walked towards the school’s main entrance. She had a concerned frown on her face and seemed hesitant to look her in the eye, as if that would cause Waverly to stalk off like she had done the day before. Waverly told her she had felt a bit off this week - which was technically true, but Chrissy’s frown only deepened. 

Champ ignored her the entire day. She had decided to try and talk to him today, and tell him she was pregnant. But she got no chance. She waited for him by his locker before first period, but as soon as he saw her he turned around and headed for his classroom early, presumably without his Calculus book. 

Waverly was late for lunch because she had met professor Beaufort in the hallway and had quietly asked if she could retake her French test (she blamed it on sickness). “Bien sur, miss Earp, I was wondering what had happened to my star pupil!” he had exclaimed with a heavy french accent and a wink. 

When she finally got to the cafeteria, Champ’s table was (as usual) crowded and there was nowhere to sit. But today no one made an effort to make room for Waverly (not as usual) and she ended up sitting at another table with Jeremy, her trusted lab partner. 

Whenever she saw Stephanie, the bitch had this wicked smile plastered on her face. It seemed her anger for Waverly abandoning the cheerleading squad had passed and was replaced by cruel joy over Champ’s obvious distance. “Trouble in paradise?” Stephanie whispered when she slid to her seat behind Waverly in Chemistry.

Trouble in paradise indeed, thought Waverly as she dug up her notes from her backpack. 

“Did you guys break up?” Chrissy finally asked when Champ passed them in the hallway without so much as looking at them. He hadn’t answered any of her texts either.

“No,” Waverly answered, and quickly added “Not yet.” ( _ Had she decided to break up with him? _ )

Chrissy asked no more.

She was a good friend that way. She was the first friend Waverly had gotten when she and Gus moved to the city. The Nedleys lived on the same street and it had been easy getting to know them. Chrissy was never part of the popular crowd at school, perhaps because her father was the Police Chief, but she got an in with the jocks and the cheerleaders when Waverly started climbing the social ranks of high school. Chrissy was usually the only one who could tell whenever Waverly was having a hard time, and she always gave her the space she needed. 

Waverly knew her friend deserved more. 

“Hey, Chrissy.” She turned around. Chrissy looked at her expectantly. “I’ll tell you, ok? I just… I need to tell him first.”

Chrissy nodded with an understanding smile and they walked to last period together. 

\---

Waverly stood before her squad and told the girls how she had not been feeling well this last week and she had a lot on her mind because of some family business (stretching it a bit far, but it wasn’t a lie exactly) and she was  _ sorry _ for forgetting the game. They mostly accepted her apology and dutifully followed their leader in the new cheer routines she wanted to try. At the end of practice only Steph was still glaring at her. Waverly knew her forgiveness would be difficult to win, but she wasn’t sure she cared anymore. Stephanie had quickly revealed herself to be a fake friend, dropping Waverly as soon as things with Champ started going sideways. 

Waverly excused herself after their session to go wait outside the boys’ locker room like she did every Friday. Champ and his team practiced at the same schedule as the cheering squad, and they would always hang out afterwards, usually to get milkshakes at Malcolm’s Burgers.

Waverly had focused mostly on  _ how  _ to get Champ to talk to her, but as she stood there waiting, she suddenly realized she had no idea what to actually say to him. 

If she was being honest, she didn’t really want to put in the effort to try and work things out. She knew their relationship was doomed.  _ He must know it too _ , she thought as she leaned against the cold concrete wall. She could hear the boys laughing inside the locker room. Maybe it was easier to just let the relationship die. Just wait until it was obvious they were not together, without having to really talk about it. Ghost him.

But Waverly knew she had to tell him  _ this  _ sooner or later.  _ This  _ could not wait. Better to rip the band-aid off, as Gus would say.

When Champ finally came out the door, accompanied by his entire team, he was grinning from ear to ear and hooting with the rest of them. They were all freshly showered and smelled of testosterone and cheap cologne. The win two days previously had evidently affected their practice and they were all in a good mood. Champ smiled even wider when he caught sight of his girl waiting for him - had he suddenly forgotten about the silent treatment? - and he reached for her instantly. 

He roughly grabbed her waist and slammed her back into the wall, pushing his lips unceremoniously against hers. The boys hooted and whistled behind him while Waverly struggled out of his grip. Her hip ached where it had been crushed against the brick wall. 

“Champ. Champ, wait.” She finally pushed him off and the boys oh-ed and ah-ed appropriately. Waverly winked at them, trying to remain some of her crumbling facade, and told them jokingly to move along so she could have a moment with her boyfriend. 

When they were finally alone, Waverly’s smile and wave faltered and she turned to face Champ, who suddenly remembered that he was supposed to ignore her, like he had been all day.

“Hey, baby,” she tried and slid her hands up his beefy arms, but she was tired and her once strong feelings for the boy seemed distant now. Could she fake this? She sighed and started again. “Do you wanna go somewhere? Maybe Malcolm’s? I think we should talk.”

Champ looked annoyed. He tried to back away from her, but she tugged his arm. 

“Babe, I’m so proud of you for your win. I haven’t had the chance to tell you,” Waverly said, hoping this would bring back his happy mood from before. Shit, she should have just left and texted him to ask if they could talk.  _ But he wouldn’t have texted me back _ , a voice in the back of her mind told her knowingly.

“No no no,” Champ interrupted. “You weren’t even there.” He took a step back. “We won the most important game of the season and you weren’t there. Fucking Stephanie had to do your job.”

“Champ, I’m sorry. I didn’t feel well and I’ve got a lot on my mind, and I just - I think we should talk.” 

“Yeah, now you wanna talk,” he grumbled. “You haven’t talked to me all week.”

Waverly stared at him.  _ She _ hadn’t talked to  _ him _ ?  _ He _ was the one ignoring her in the hallways, staying away when she - his fudgin’  _ girlfriend  _ \- was obviously struggling with something.

She could feel her mood shifting from tired to angry, but she forced herself to calm down.

“We can go talk now?” she suggested with a huff.

Champ shook his head and backed away from her. “I’ve got other plans.”

“Champ. Champ!” She took his shoulder and forced him to turn around. “We will talk tomorrow.” She said it as a statement, like he had no choice.

Champ shook his arm out of her grip and started walking away. “Sure, Waverly,” he muttered. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Waverly watched him catching up with his friends, clenching her fists to keep the fury building up in her chest from bursting. There was a touch of guilt mixed in with her rage, which only made her angrier. Champ was being a  _ dick _ , why was she feeling guilty?

Suddenly Waverly could hear footsteps behind her. Stephanie Jones turned the corner with a smirk on her stupid face. She looked like she had just won the jackpot.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are some Earp sister-moments in this one. Also Waverly goes to tell Champ about getting knocked up and Doc suddenly comes through as the unexpected savior she needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you my friend and beta jorekbyrnison! Find my @ tumblr if you want.

“Did ya tell ‘im?” Wynonna asked as she dangled a dangerous amount of noodles above her mouth. With practiced expertise she curled her tongue around the doughy strings and guided them into her big mouth. She continued to chew loudly.

Waverly shook her head and poked around in her own vegetarian hot and sour soup. 

She had been eating peanut butter from a spoon when Wynonna returned with a big bag filled with spring rolls, dumplings, beef noodles and Waverly’s favorite soup. The peanut butter had been the only tempting food in the kitchen cupboard and when dinner finally arrived it was hard to let it go. So Waverly just put the dollop still on her spoon into the soup and stirred until the peanut butter started to dissolved while Wynonna stood by with eyebrows raised. 

Wynonna pointed her chopsticks at Waverly. “Are you even sure he’s the dad?”

Waverly winced at the word. If Champ was the dad, she was the  _ mom _ .

“It’s him, Wy.” 

Wynonna nodded and swallowed with great effort.

Chinese take-out was Wynonna’s specialty. 

After the failed confrontation with Champ, Waverly had gone straight home and up to her bedroom. Wynonna had stood outside the door for a while, just listening to Waverly sobbing with a broken heart and her forehead resting against the doorframe, but had eventually curled up around her sister's shivering body. Business as usual. 

When Waverly was all cried out and her pillowcase was damp with tears and snot for the millionth time that week, Wynonna had promised to order them take-out and also “obliterate that vile pillowcase”.

So she did exactly that.

The burnt smell of pillowcase still hung in the air while they chewed and slurped in silence, watching the montage of Elle Woods studying to pass her LSAT. Legally Blonde used to be one of Waverly’s favorite movies. Wynonna, of course, hated it, but she would do anything to cheer her sister up. 

“What will you tell him?” Wynonna asked as she licked her chopsticks clean.

“I don’t know.”

\---

Later that evening, when the empty containers where piled high on the kitchen counter, the two sister sat on the floor in front of the fireplace with their backs against the battered old couch. Waverly had promised to talk tonight, really  _ talk _ , as she had been a mute most of the week. She knew Wynonna was patiently waiting for her to begin.

“So uh, Stephanie hates me,” she started slowly. Not really the most interesting thing that happened this week, but a safe way to ease into the conversation.

“Stephanie Perky-Tits Jones?” 

“Yup.”

Waverly plucked at a loose string on the pillow on her lap.

“Why?”

“Well, there was this big game on Wednesday that we've been practicing for with the squad. It was kinda important.”

“Oh yeah, you told me.”

Waverly had tested part of the routine on her sister a few weeks ago, but Wynonna really couldn’t care less. Eventually she had asked Stephanie and Sonya to helped her with the details. 

“Yeah. But then I got kinda sick at school and went home and just fell asleep.”

“Oh shit, you puked?”

Wynonna looked at her sister with surprised eyes. Had Waverly not told her this? Waverly scrunched up her face and tried to remember Wednesday. It seemed so long ago, but it had only been two days.

“Didn’t I tell you?”

“No, when I got home from work you were already asleep under your mountain of blankets, clutching your snot pillow.”

Waverly slapped her sister on the leg with great offence. Wynonna grinned.

“Dude, it was gross.”

“Yeah well…” 

They looked at the crackling fire, where Wynonna had dangled the filthy pillowcase over the glowing embers with the poker only hours ago.

Wynonna cleared her throat. “So how come you find out about your pregnancy and then immediately start puking and eating weird shit like peanut butter in your already weird soup.”

“Hey, it was really good!” Waverly had secretly vowed to remember the combination for future occasions. 

Wynonna looked at her pointedly, waiting for an answer.

“I dunno.” Waverly had been wondering the same thing just this morning when she cleaned out the fridge. Maybe some of the pregnancy symptoms had already presented themselves before she found out but she had just ignored them. She  _ had  _ felt a bit tired lately, but thought it was due to school and her applications for university.

“So uh,” Wynonna started slowly and readjusted her position against the couch. “How do you feel? I mean -” She looked awkwardly at Waverly's knee. “You know.”

“I feel fine, I guess. Except everything smells gross and I’m kinda nauseous all the time.” She grinned playfully at Wynnona but then looked down at her fumbling fingers. “It just sucks.”

“Yeah.” Wynonna put her arms around Waverly’s shoulders. Out of nowhere she conjured up a paper towel and handed it to her. “So, should we call your doctor?”

Waverly slowly rested her cheek on Wynonna’s bony shoulder and nodded. “We probably should.”

Wynonna stroked Waverly’s arm slowly. “And Champ?”

Waverly sighed heavily. “I’m gonna tell him tomorrow. And then I think I’m gonna break up with him.”

Wynonna squeezed her baby sister securely against her body and kissed her gently on the forehead.

“Attagirl.” 

\---

Waverly went to Champ’s house the next morning. His mother smiled broadly when Waverly appeared at her doorstep and invited her in for tea. 

“Oh, that’s so kind! Thank you, but I’m just here to see Champ. Is he -?”

“He’s still asleep.” Mrs. Hardy winked at her knowingly. That wasn’t new. “You know where to find him.”

Waverly thanked her with her signature smile and then turned to slowly walk up the stairs and knock on his bedroom door. The knocking was mostly for show. She didn’t expect him to answer so she silently let herself in without waiting.

Champ lay in bed with his back to the door, his blanket crumpled around his waist. His naked chest was gently moving with the rhythm of his snoring. Waverly resisted the urge to open the window to air out the constricting smell of sleep.

She sat down on the bed, figuring the shifting weight in his bed would wake him up. And sure enough.

“Whah -” He turned around and eyed his girlfriend. She was very much looking like a saint on the edge of his bed. “Waverly?”

“Morning,” Waverly smiled and leaned down to kiss him. He smelled terribly, a mixture of his usual morning breath and old beer. 

He just lay there looking at her for a while, trying to understand why she was there.

“You said we could talk today,” Waverly reminded him. 

Champ rubbed his face grumpily. Being ambushed in his own bed wasn’t really the best way to set the stage for what would surely be a shit chat with his girlfriend. His girlfriend who he was already angry with, no less. But it was past noon and Waverly had been up practicing her speech since half past seven. 

Champ groaned and reluctantly sat up in his bed. “Alright, let’s talk.”

Waverly was just preparing herself to launch into her explanation when he suddenly spoke up and said, rather harshly, “I fucked Steph.”

Waverly stilled in her movements, not really sure what was happening. “You fucked…” She swallowed. “You fucked Steph? Stephanie Jones?”

He nodded. He didn’t even look embarrassed or guilty. He looked her straight in the eye, daring her to get angry.

Oh, she was gonna show him angry, alright.

“Stephanie Jones, my  _ friend _ ?”

He nodded again as she pushed herself up from the bed. 

“When?”

“Yesterday, at her party.”

Waverly scoffed and started pacing. “At her party,” she repeated. She had always been invited to Stephanie’s crazy parties, but didn’t always go. Champ became quite possessive when he was drunk. This party she hadn’t even heard about.

“And before that,” Champ continued daringly. “Wednesday. And some other times.”

Waverly turned towards him, her hands balled into fists. She was livid. “You mean  _ this  _ Wednesday when I was alone in my bed  _ crying _ ?”

Champ gulped. Waverly could be really scary when she got angry. That tiny body could explode and bring the  _ rage _ , and he knew it. But he needed to get it all off his chest, so he just kept breathing more air to the fire. 

“And Sonya, one time.”

“You  _ fucked _ my  _ friend _ Stephanie fucking Jones and then you fucked my  _ other _ friend Sonya, and then you fucked Stephanie  _ again _ .” Waverly was yelling now. Her face had gone red and tears sprung from her eyes, but she didn’t notice the wet streaks forming on her cheeks. “What the  _ fuck _ , Champ.”

Waverly wasn’t exactly fond of swearing. She would usually say something slightly less rude like “what the fudge” or “shit ticket”, but Wynonna’s presence the last few months had certainly been an influence to her vocabulary. The situation also kind of required the strong language. 

“How about Melanie Foster?” she asked remembering the birthday party a few months ago.

Champ shook his head, closely following Waverly’s movements with his eyes. “We only kissed.”

Waverly scoffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“You never wanted to anymore,” Champ protested, his own mood matching his girlfriends. He seemed almost as angry and betrayed as Waverly felt. Judging by the look on his face he actually put the blame on Waverly for this.

“So because I didn’t want to  _ fuck _ you, you went and  _ fucked _ all of my friends? Eat shit, Champ.”

She had paced to his bed and was now bent down over his reclining body, her face inches from his. He shrunk down and pulled the covers further up his chest. His boldness was fading now.

“But we  _ did  _ fuck, Champ,” she spat at him. “‘Cause you and I are gonna get a fucking  _ baby _ .”

Waverly was breathing heavily. She felt lightheaded. This was not going at all like she had planned. Champ creased his eyebrows, all of his rage and fright now changing into blissful confusion. He never understood anything, the dumbass.

“What?”

“You knocked me up, Champ. I’m pregnant.”

Waverly stood up and turned towards the door. 

“Fucking asshole.”

And she slammed the door.

\---

For some reason Doc Holliday was there when Waverly got home.

She marched into the kitchen just to find him there opening and closing the cupboard doors without taking anything out. 

“Ah, miss Waverly, would you know where your Aunt keeps her finest whiskey?” he asked with a Southern drawl as Waverly crashed down on a chair, still seething. He didn’t seem to notice the ticking time bomb that had walked in. 

“Under the sink.”

It was Gus’ last hiding place. Not a very good one, Waverly thought. But Gus had probably given up this game of cat and mouse with Wynonna and the whiskey. Waverly had been adamant to not choose sides in the constant chase, but fuck it. What did it even matter.

Doc found the bottle and took one look at Waverly before he sat down at the table with two glasses. He poured a good amount of the amber liquid into the glasses and shoved one of them towards Waverly. She was still shaking. 

“I know you are not yet of age, but it might seem like you could need some liquor to… gather your senses, so to speak.” Doc gestured thoughtfully at nothing in particular.

She must really be a mess if it made Doc stray from his solid morals. He was always so strict about not serving her at the bar.

He took a big gulp of his glass and nodded to Waverly. She traced her fingers over the rim of her own glass for a moment. Who cared if this kid she was carrying got fucked up? It was already screwed. And besides, she’d been drinking occasionally the past two months, with Christmas and all. On New Years Eve she had been so shitfaced Champ had to carry her home. What would another drink do?

She took the glass in a firm grip and slowly brought it towards her lips when Wynonna suddenly danced into the kitchen and plucked the glass out of her sisters grasp in one smooth movement. 

“Nope,” she said simply and downed the entire contents in one go. 

Doc looked at her. “I do believe miss Waverly wanted that for herself, Wynonna.”

Wynonna just shrugged and reached for the bottle to refill her glass. She sat down and looked at the shivering mess that was her sister.

“How’d it go?”

“Well,” Waverly started ironically. Wynonna was quiet, waiting for Waverly to continue her tale. Doc pretended he didn’t listen to their conversation and seemed to be reading the label on the whiskey bottle. 

“He told me he fucked Stephanie Jones last night.”

“That jerking case of smallpox,” Wynonna rose to her feet at once, her fists curled tight. “I knew he was a fucking idiot.”

Doc looked between them, a curious look on his face. He had no idea what he had gotten himself into, involving himself with an Earp sister.

“But did you tell him?” Wynonna sunk down on her chair again, still with her balled fist. 

Waverly nodded. “Yep. I told him he got me knocked up and then I told him he was an asshole.”

“Good girl.”

They were quiet. Both the sisters were panting heavily, looks of pure rage on their faces.

After a minute Doc broke the tense silence. “Ahem. Miss Waverly, would you like to smash some things? It might be a good tactic to relieve some of your anger.”

Wynonna and Waverly looked at him, equally confused. What the hell was Doc suggesting?

\---

And hour later Waverly stood in the basement of Peacemaker chucking old bottles of whiskey and bourbon against the opposite wall as hard as she could. Wynonna and Doc had returned upstairs to give Waverly some privacy.

She screamed and smashed and cried and smashed some more, until the crates Doc had shown her where all but empty, and after a while she did feel herself calm down. 

When she eventually walked upstairs, the bar was suddenly filled with chatter and laughter and customers and  _ noise _ . 

Wynonna was off serving a table of rowdy men by the pool table, so Waverly sat down on a bar stool close to where Doc was seemingly cleaning glasses. He was such a classic bartender, listening to his customers’ stories and rubbing that same glass over and over again with a white cloth.

“Do you feel better, miss Waverly?”

Waverly nodded. He gave her a tall glass of water and a lemon wedge which she drank thankfully. With all the crying she did these days she was getting seriously dehydrated. 

“I am truly sorry for you situation, miss Waverly,” Doc continued, a kind look on his face. 

“You don’t have to call me miss, you know.”

Doc winked, making his big moustache twitch. “Waverly, then.”

He continued with his work and Waverly fiddled with her empty glass. 

“Hey, Doc.” He looked up at her. “I uh, I was wondering. Do you know everyone who comes in here?”

He nodded again, proudly. “I do make an effort to learn the names of my customers.”

Waverly hesitated for a second but pushed on. “Uh, do you know anyone who’s called, uhm…” Waverly looked down at her hands. “Nicole.”

“Why, yes, I know several people by the name Nicole. Could you be more specific, please, Waverly?”

“I don’t know her last name. But uh, she has red hair and I think she goes to uni here?”

Waverly had regretted not learning more about the kind stranger. Their meeting had been somewhat of a monologue from Waverly’s side, who never once asked a question in return.

“There is a Nicole Haught with red hair. She studies the subject of Law if I am not mistaken.”

Waverly took in the new information.  _ Nicole Haught _ . Wasn’t that appropriate.

“Do you know where she lives?” Waverly could feel her heart pounding as she nervously held her breath. She looked up to meet Doc’s piercing blue eyes and felt like he was examining her bare soul. Occupational hazard?

Finally he spoke. “I do not, I am afraid.” 

She shrunk back down with the release of her breath. A thought had formed as she stood downstairs, feeling the empty bottles slipping from her fingers and hearing the delicious crash against the concrete wall. At first it was her fight with Champ that was replaying endlessly in her mind, but then it faded into something else. A frantic thought, chiming through her head almost obsessively. Like it was the only way forward.

_ Find Nicole. Find Nicole. _

Doc put his hand on top of hers and winked at her. “But I do believe Dolls over there knows her.”

The hope in Waverly’s eyes quickly returned. “Oh!” she said and scrambled to her feet.

She had only spoken with Dolls a few times. To be honest she thought he was a bit scary. Very big, very quiet. A perfect bouncer. 

But when she asked him about Nicole he nodded politely and gave her a perfect description of where she could be found.

Waverly thanked him and wrapped her coat tightly around her body before heading out into the dark night. 

_ Find Nicole. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to introduce Nicole’s best friend and ex, Shae Pressman. Let’s so what it does to Waverly...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, friends! Again, shout-out to my fantastic beta  jorekbyrnison . Find me on  tumblr

Nicole was lounging on her sofa, her thumb methodically gliding over the screen of her cell phone. She didn’t fully register the person plopping down next to her before she was hit in the forehead by a piece of popcorn. 

“What the fuck, Shae?” She pushed herself up from her slouched position and scowled at the girl. 

“Who are you stalking?” Shae asked while stuffing her mouth with popcorn.

Nicole looked at the picture on her phone and quickly hid it, feeling an embarrassing blush appear on her cheeks. “No one.”

“Yeah, sure.” Shae snickered and threw some more popcorn at Nicole’s face. She caught one of the pieces expertly with her mouth. “Show off.”

Shae made herself comfortable on her side of the couch and stretched out her long legs so that they rested in Nicole’s lap. Nicole’s hands immediately started to move up and down the smooth skin of her calves absentmindedly. Force of habit. 

Shae chewed loudly next to her, looking inquisitively at her face with one perfectly plucked eyebrow quirked accusingly. 

“Tell me,” she finally demanded when Nicole wouldn’t budge.

“Hm? Tell you what?” Nicole tried to play it off cool but she could feel the burn on her face, matching the fire of her loose hair. She usually braided it when she went out, but she wasn’t planning on leaving the couch today. Her plain white t-shirt and baggy sweatpants made that obvious. 

Shae poked Nicole’s face with her socked foot. “Tell me who’s the chick.”

Nicole groaned and let her head fall back on the backrest, annoyed now. Shae tried to sock her again but Nicole caught her foot in her hand. 

“Come on, you big homo, tell me!” 

They were laughing and Shae was throwing more popcorn in Nicole’s general direction, not able to aim properly with her foot in Nicole’s death grip. Nicole lunged for the girl and flattened her body against the siderest, trapping one of Shae’s hands between their bodies. The other had miraculously managed to save the bowl of popcorn, holding it out in the air, away from the danger zone.

“Woah, don’t take it out on my snacks!” 

Nicole grinned and slacked her grip on the girl, marking the end of their wrestling match. Shae wriggled her trapped hand free and used it to sort out Nicole’s messed up hair, tucking it gently behind her ear. 

They had a strange relationship. Their friendship was comfortable and easy to them, but it caused a ton of confusion to some of their friends and family. They frequently had to downplay how familiar they were with each other. Nicole had been asked more than once if she was sure there was nothing between them anymore. Of course her mother was the main spokesperson for their relationship, especially after they had gotten married. 

“Earth to Haught.”

Nicole tucked herself under Shae’s chin, resting her ear over her heart. Nicole could hear the blood pumping at a slow rate - Shae was incredibly fit, unfairly so in Nicole’s opinion.

“It’s dumb,” Nicole mumbled into Shae’s college sweater. She smelled of Nicole’s coconutty body wash, fresh out of the shower.

“I don’t care if it’s dumb, sweetie.” Shae’s long fingers stroked Nicole’s red locks calmly. She was such a good listener. Nicole always ended up spilling all of the beans whenever she was struggling with something. Today would not be an exception.

Nicole sighed heavily and finally gave in. 

“She’s still in high school. And she’s straight.” She didn’t mention the pregnancy. That was Waverly’s secret to tell.

“How do you know she’s straight?” Shae always focused on the most pressing matters. 

“She has a boyfriend.”

Shae chuckled. The sound rumbled against Nicole’s ear resting on Shae’s chest. “Oh, honey.”

Nicole closed her eyes, relaxing against Shae’s familiar body.

“You know Amber used to be straight,” Shae said. “She had a boyfriend just last semester. And look at her now.”

Amber was a first year Art student who’d fallen hard for Shae’s smooth tactics. Shae had accompanied her home after Tequila Thursday at The Flamingo a month ago, and they’d been sleeping together ever since. In secret at first, at Amber’s request, but they were getting sloppy. Nicole had caught them making out behind the Library just last week.

Nicole laughed and pushed herself into a sitting position on Shae’s knees, catching the proud smirk on her Shae’s face. “Maybe I should just unleash your gay seductive powers on her.”

“Watch out,” Shae winked. “But seriously, I think her age is more of a concern than her current sexual orientation. A high school student?”

“Yeah, I know.” Nicole rubbed her neck awkwardly. “But she’s graduating this semester, so you know. She’s only -” She counted quickly in her head. “Like three years younger than me.”

“Well, it could be worse, I guess.” Shae laughed. “What’s the rule again? Your age divided by two, plus seven, right? And you’re twenty-two, so that’s eleven, plus seven is eighteen. And if she’s graduating this summer, that means… You’re juuuust good.”

Nicole hit her in the shoulder and Shae cried out in fake pain. “But I just turned twenty-two!”

“Yeah, but do you know her birthday? Maybe she  _ just  _ turned eighteen.”

“Yeah, but in like a year it’s gonna be different, right? Then she’ll be nineteen and I’ll be twenty-three, and that’s not so bad.”

“Dude, are you planning on dating this girl forever?” Shae was only joking, but when Nicole’s ears turned red she noticed there was something in those thoughtful eyes that hadn’t been there for a while. 

She scooched back into an upright position, forcing Nicole to move off her knees. They sat side by side until Shae subtly cleared her throat. 

“What’s her name?”

Nicole’s lips turned up into an involuntary smile. 

“Waverly.” 

She tried to force her face back to its natural state, but what even was that? Shae watched patiently as Nicole struggled to remember the usual position of her mouth.

When her features were finally back to normal, Shae commented "Pretty name” just to see what would happen. And sure enough, Nicole’s facial anatomy was screwed up again. She was such an easy target. Eventually Nicole just gave up and let the stupid grin unfold itself.

“So how did you come across this infatuating high school student?”

Nicole leaned back against the siderest. “You remember when my Mom called me the other day?”

Shae nodded. “Yeah, you got so angry you finally decided to get fit again.”

Nicole swatted her leg this time. “Dipshit.”

Shae laughed and rubbed her thigh. 

“But yeah, I went for a run and then I just ran straight into her.”

“You mean you knocked her over?”

“Yup. And then we went and got hot chocolate and we went for a walk, and we just talked the entire evening. Well, she talked for the most part.” She looked shyly at Shae. “She had a lot on her mind.”

Shae studied her face for a moment. Nicole tried to look anywhere but at her ex-girlfriend and her damned X-ray vision, but there was nowhere to hide.

“You really like her, don’t you?”

Nicole looked at her hands, feeling another wave of redness wash over her face. 

Waverly’s smile and wave had not left her thoughts since they literally bumped into each other. She didn’t know what it was exactly - did she  _ like  _ her? She certainly cared for her, wanted her to be happy. Wanted to see her again, desperately. Maybe she did like her.

She met Shae’s eyes and couldn’t resist smiling sheepishly. “I dunno, maybe.”

“Dude, that’s great!” Shae exclaimed excitedly. “When will you see her again?”

“That’s the problem. I don’t have her number and I don’t even know if she  _ wants  _ to see me again.” 

Waverly had been so distressed on Thursday, her emotions running over the brim of her already full glass. Nicole had just happened to be there, to witness the outburst. If  _ Nicole  _ hadn’t been there, it would have been someone else, right? Plus, what did Waverly care about some failed University student who didn’t even know how to stand up to her mother? She had her own problems to deal with.

Nicole was sure it was a one time only, super random encounter that Waverly had probably already forgotten about. At least that’s what she tried to tell herself. But then there was that small part of her brain that was trying to overrule her rational thoughts. That part was slowly succeeding and had been forming a plan to meet Waverly again.

Shae was talking again (probably about something less important), but Nicole was only listening with half an ear. 

She had considered two options on how to contact her. It had been no problem at all finding her Facebook profile. In fact, she’d been scrolling through Waverly’s profile pictures when Shae attacked her with popcorn just moments ago. But she felt kinda creepy sending her a Facebook message, that way admitting to stalking her. She liked option number two better, which was to go to Peacemaker every evening and hope she would bump into her there. Then she could say something stupid like “Oh, hey! I didn’t know you’d be here.”

Suddenly Shae’s ongoing tirade penetrated Nicole’s thoughts. 

“Maybe you can go to her high school or something, like some predatory creep.”

“Hey! I’m not that gross!”

Nicole was about to slap her again when the doorbell rang and they looked up in unison.

Nicole frowned at Shae. “Did you order pizza?”

“I’m actually healthy, remember.”

Nicole eyed the popcorn, extra salt, extra butter, and quirked her eyebrow.

“Fuck off, dude. It’s Saturday.”

Nicole got up and went to open the door. And there was...

“Waverly!” 

The girl stood in her doorway with an uncertain look on her face, clearly debating whether she was allowed to be knocking on Nicole’s door or not. 

Nicole noticed the nervous fidgeting of Waverly’s delicate hands, rapidly thumbing the edges of her fluffy white mittens. She also noticed that those hazel eyes were red again. 

Nicole’s heart leapt in sorrow and joy. No matter the hurt radiating from the girl, Nicole was just happy she was  _ here _ . She had been so sure it would be a one time-encounter, but now she was  _ here _ . Here, at  _ her  _ door.

Nicole smiled with genuine relief. She didn’t say anything or move to let Waverly into her apartment. She just stood there, grinning like the disaster she was. Her rapidly pounding heart confirming that,  _ yes, I do like her _ .

She could see Waverly’s lips turn into one of those cute little smiles that had been so rare on Thursday. And then the lips started moving, forming  _ words. _ They looked so soft.

“Uhm, hi. I hope this is okay.” 

Waverly could as well be talking to a wall. 

Nicole didn’t seem to understand her tentative words, her gaze remaining transfixed on Waverly’s lips. Waverly felt herself warming up at the sight of Nicole’s dumbfounded stare, the built up tension and anxiety from earlier today already forgotten. But she had no idea how to get this woman out of her obvious trance, and shyly bit her bottom lip. Nicole responded to the action by smiling dumbly, as if it was the prettiest things she had ever seen. 

“Nicole?” Waverly tried again. She watched Nicole’s gaze trailing a path up her face and landed on the little mole just to the left of her nose wing, hidden in the crease that would deepen and swallow the mole in its entirety whenever she smiled. Nicole grinned again like a dumb homo, disaster waiting to happen.

And it did.

Waverly’s face changed abruptly, for reasons Nicole’s numb brain could not decipher. But then something - or rather some _ one _ \- leaned heavily on her shoulder and brought her back to reality. Nicole blinked out of her trance and looked sheepishly at Waverly’s brown boots. 

“Hi, Waverly.” Shae extended her hand towards the young girl with a perfect smile. “We were just talking about you.”

_ For fuck’s sake. _

Waverly shook the hand cautiously. Nicole’s lips pursed together. Of course Shae had to mess with the girl she obviously was crushing hard on. 

“I’m Shae.”

And then the evil hag grinned and opened her mouth again. Nicole’s brain was suddenly hyper aware of her  _ wife  _ standing behind her, about to reveal to Waverly who she was. Shae never passed up a chance to fuck with Nicole - all with loving care, of course - but she was  _ not  _ gonna mess with Waverly.

“I’m -”

“She’s my friend,” Nicole quickly interrupted.

“Well...” Shae glanced at Nicole, still with that damn smirk on her face.

“Well,” Nicole sighed. Waverly was just standing there, looking at the two of them with increasing confusion. “She’s my ex.”

\---

Waverly stared at the woman, Shae. 

“We’re just friends,” Nicole said again, rather awkwardly. Her face had gone completely crimson, almost melting into the threads of her loose red hair. 

Was she kidding? Shae had obviously just come out of the shower. Her dark hair was damp, her bronze skin soft and glowing, like it had just been lotioned. Her college sweater with the Ghost River University-logo clad her fit body perfectly, only just revealing the soft cotton shorts that rode high up on her thighs, showing off her endless legs. 

Waverly suddenly felt jealous. 

_ What the fuck, Waverly, stop staring at her legs. _

Nicole continued her lame explanation. “I mean, yes. We used to be together. But now we’re not, you know?” The panic in her eyes would have been amusing if Waverly didn’t feel so small and stupid. Why did she come here? Nicole had a full life, with friends and girlfriends and exes. She didn’t need some high school student to waltz in and crave her attention.

But then Shae winked at her and turned to plant a wet kiss on Nicole’s burning cheek. “I’m gonna go.” 

Nicole nodded dumbly. Waverly kept looking from Shae to Nicole with her mouth slightly open. Suddenly she became aware of her dumbstruck face and quickly closed her mouth. 

Shae went back inside, leaving the two awkward girls behind. She started to gather some discarded clothes and slipped into one of the other rooms. 

Nicole swallowed heavily. “Do you, uh, do you wanna come in?”

Waverly nodded and brushed past Nicole who held the door open for her. She sat down on the edge of the blue couch, jacket and woollen hat still on. There was popcorn scattered around, and Nicole immediately started cleaning up the mess. 

Waverly looked around. It was a modern but simple apartment. Most of the furniture and decorations were in some shade of blue. Waverly was happy to see that books and music were a valued part of Nicole’s life, judging to the stuffed bookshelf against one wall and an acoustic guitar in the corner. There was a shelf with pictures and keepsakes as well. Waverly could spot a photograph of Nicole and Shae wearing climbing gear in one of them. The way the couch was positioned with a comfortable looking armchair and a matching pouf on the opposite side of the coffee table made it feel like the TV was somehow not the center of attention. 

It was a combined kitchen and living room, with a kitchen island sporting tall breakfast stools separating the two sections. Waverly counted only two other doors beside the one leading outside to the hallway. A bedroom and a bathroom. 

Shae reappeared, now wearing tight jeans and a yellow ochre blouse that accentuated her skin tone perfectly. She smiled at Waverly but turned to speak to Nicole who was emptying the contaminated popcorn in the trash.

“I’m off to Amber,” she said in a low meaningful voice. “Call you tomorrow.” 

Nicole nodded and peered at Waverly. Her calm presence from the other day was replaced with a more embarrassed demeanor. Waverly much preferred the first version.

“Nice to meet you, Waverly.” Shae smiled one last time, and then Nicole and Waverly were suddenly alone.

Nicole buried her hands in her pockets. “Uh, do you want something to drink?”

“Just water is fine.”

Nicole filled two glasses with tap water and sat down on the pale sky-blue pouf opposite Waverly. She had taken off her woollen hat and was now trying to flatten the hair that had gone all electric.

Why was this suddenly so awkward? The conversation had been so easy the other day.

“I’m sorry, I -”

“I should explain -”

They started talking at the same time and then stopped talking at the same time, grinning awkwardly at each other. 

Waverly was dying to know about the Amazonian goddess who had just left the apartment. How long had they been together? Why did they break up? Did Nicole like her still? Who had broken up with whom? But she didn’t want to pry. And Nicole didn’t look like she wanted to talk about it either. She was plucking frantically at a loose string from the seam her sweatpants, not meeting Waverly’s curious gaze, cheeks still a faint pink. 

“Sorry about the other day. I only talked about myself.”

Nicole looked up at that, her face finally relaxing. Waverly’s brain noted how Nicole was very pretty with her hair loose instead of the braid from the other day. It somehow made her look clean.  _ Natural _ . Very much at home.

“It looked like you needed it.” Nicole smiled caringly. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Waverly said, much to her own surprise. She wasn’t okay before, but now, in the safety of Nicole’s home, she felt better. “I think so.”

“What did you end up doing?”

“We broke up.”

Nicole nodded and leaned forward. She tried to be discreet about grasping Waverly’s hand where it was resting on coffee table so that she could start rubbing her thumb over the soft skin. Waverly definitely noticed. But she liked it. It was just like before, when they sat in Hetty’s café sipping hot chocolate.

Waverly could feel her cheeks heat up. The simple gesture was somehow weirdly relaxing and epically confusing at the same time. 

Waverly swallowed loudly and continued her story. 

“He told me he slept with two of my friends.”

Nicole’s nostrils flared dangerously. She swallowed to contain her resentment. “Asshole.”

Waverly smiled. “That’s what I told him.”

“Good.” Nicole squeezed her hand. ”How do you feel?”

“Good, I think.” It had certainly been the right thing to do. She had realized that after smashing her seventh bottle against the concrete wall in Doc’s basement. The next eleven bottles she threw were a delicious outlet of all her bottled up emotions, and the last five were just out of pure joy.  _ Hulk, smash _ had a different ring to it now.

“Did you tell him? That you’re pregnant?”

“Yes.”

“What did he say?”

“Not much. I stormed out.

“Oh.”

Nicole’s hands were so warm, so soft. Her fingers kept drawing circles over Waverly’s wrist until the tension in her shoulders had completely dissolved. She hadn’t even noticed how they had crept up towards her ears the last days, getting more taut with every blow life had aimed at her. Now she could feel her body quickly turning to jelly.  _ What is happening? _

“It’s been quite the week.” Nicole had returned entirely to the calm person she had been the other day. 

“Yeah.”

Nicole’s perfect brown eyes looked up from where their hands were connected, emanating some kind of vibrant confidence. She was so strong and safe. Mature. Sexy. 

_ Fuck. _

Waverly was suddenly too hot. She realised she still had her big puffy coat on and quickly withdrew her hand from Nicole’s grasp to take it off. Nicole got up to take the coat from her and put it on the rack by the front door. Ever the gentlewoman. 

Then she sat down right beside the flustered Waverly. Their thighs where almost touching.

There was a lot to talk about, a lot to consider. But Champ and Shae and the rest of it could wait. Even Fury Road has pit stops.

“How about we just forget about him tonight.” Nicole grabbed the remote control from the coffee table. “Do you wanna watch something? I’ve got like six episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine on my DVR.” She looked super stoked. What a beautiful dork. “And I can order some food if you’re hungry. Maybe Chinese?”

Waverly nodded gratefully, her mind already on her new favorite vegetarian hot and sour soup, with a dollop of peanut butter.

\---

The next morning Waverly woke up in a strange bed with blue and grey checkered covers, engulfed in the delicious smell of vanilla dipped donuts.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly wakes up in Nicole's apartment. There's some Champ stuff at the end, sorry 'bout that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being my awesome beta, @jorekbyrnison!

Wynonna noticed Waverly was gone when she was sneaking into her own home the next morning. 

She had ended up getting drunk with Doc after they closed up for the night, and then proceeded to spend the night in his bed in the tiny apartment above the bar. She hoped Waverly wouldn’t notice her absence 'cause she had no idea what this thing was between her and Doc and didn’t want to answer any of Waverly’s demanding questions. She was bossy that way.

But then she noticed that not only was the house seemingly empty - that was normal, Waverly spent an unhealthy amount of time at the desk in her bedroom - Waverly’s bed was empty as well. 

\---

Nicole heard the low buzzing sound from across the room. She was drinking her usual black-as-gunpowder coffee, conflicted about her sleeping crush lying peacefully in her bed. She spotted Waverly’s phone covered in pink and white rhinestones vibrating softly on the coffee table by the couch. The display told her Wynonna was calling.

She was certainly not answering that call. She had observed Wynonna’s vicious rants whenever a customer was rude at Peacemaker and could only imagine what she would say to some random chick who had housed her baby sister for the night. Nope, Waverly would have to take care of that explanation herself. 

Nicole glanced at the watch on her wrist. It was one of the few things her mother had given her that she actually loved. It was a simple, classic looking watch with a brown leather band. Not very feminine, but it fit Nicole’s style perfectly. She always felt handsome whenever she wore it, which was most days.

Eleven. Waverly had slept for twelve hours straight. 

The phone started buzzing again, Wynonna’s name reappearing once more.  _ Shit. _

Should she wake her up?

The scrambled eggs were getting cold and Nicole had emptied the entire pot of coffee by herself. She sighed and put on another batch. 

When a third buzz broke the silence she almost flipped, ready to enter her bedroom just a little too loudly with some lame excuse, just so that Waverly would hopefully wake up. But it was her own phone this time. 

_ Shae  _ [11:02]: “Amber is so hot”

Nicole sniggered. Shae  _ loved _ women. 

_ Shae  _ [11:03]: “How was Waverly?”

_ Nicole  _ [11:04]: “Still sleeping”

_ Shae  _ [11:04]: “Dude, she stayed the night?”

_ Nicole  _ [11:05]: “Not like that. She just fell asleep.”

_ Shae  _ [11:07]: “What happened?”

Nicole was just typing a rather long answer when her bedroom door suddenly opened. Out came Waverly, adorably rubbing her eye. Her clothes from yesterday were wrinkled. Nicole had briefly considered helping the sleeping girl out of her jeans and sweater last night when she carried Waverly to her bed, but had decided against it, afraid of what her reaction might be. 

“Sleep well?” Nicole asked gently. “I’m sorry, I drank all the coffee, but there’s a new batch on the way.” She gestured toward the coffee maker.

“Thanks.” Waverly sat down on the breakfast stool next to Nicole. “I didn’t mean to sleep here.”

“It was no problem.”

“Did you sleep, uh -”

Nicole pointed behind them. There was a pillow and a neatly folded blanket on the siderest of her sofa. “On the couch.”

“You could’ve just, you know. Slept in your own bed.”

Nicole smiled in response. “Don’t worry, my couch is pretty comfy.” 

Waverly returned the smile. 

Then Nicole remembered the bejewelled phone and quickly handed it to its owner. “Your sister called.”

“Shit.” Waverly took it and looked at the notifications. Besides the two missed calls, Champ had sent a series of texts, ranging from anger to pathetic begging. She ignored the texts and dialled Wynonna’s number. “I should, uh, call her back.”

Nicole nodded. Waverly went to hover in the corner by the TV, trying to give herself some privacy in the small apartment. Nicole pretended to busy herself with reheating the eggs. 

She could only hear half the conversation. 

“Yeah, hi. I know. I should have told you. No, I uh- I stayed with Chrissy.” Waverly glanced towards the kitchen area. Nicole was innocently putting sliced bread in the toaster. “I’ll be home soon. Okay. Bye.”

Nicole turned around and showed Waverly the plate of food in her hand. “Do you want breakfast? I made eggs.”

Waverly’s stomach growled incriminatingly. She laughed. “Yes, please.”

Nicole presented two plates of toast and egg, and went to pour Waverly a cup of coffee.

“Oh!” Waverly exclaimed. “Wait a second.”

Nicole froze with the coffee pot raised while Waverly pulled out her phone and started tapping enthusiastically. After apparently reading three different scientific articles she put her phone down. 

“Recent studies suggest that a moderate caffeine intake should be okay in the first trimester of pregnancy. The effects on birth weight and length are inconclusive.”

Nicole looked at her with her eyebrows raised. Waverly’s brain worked in remarkable ways. “So... Coffee or no?”

“Yes, please.” Waverly thankfully accepted the mug. “As long as I don’t drink eight cups a day.”

Nicole got the sense that this was the real Waverly. Intelligent, enthusiastic. A little ray of sunshine that hummed happily as she drank the soothing liquid. 

They devoured the breakfast in comfortable silence, Waverly shuffling the large amount of fluffy protein and fat into her mouth like a champion. The eggs were a bit dry due to the reheating, but they were still delicious. 

But then Waverly was suddenly nauseous and sprinted to the bathroom where all the eggs and toast and coffee landed in the toilet with a few horrible retches. 

Nicole came into the room and found Waverly sitting on her knees in front of the toilet, her face resting in her arms against the toilet seat. She sat down next to her and started rubbing her back soothingly.

“I’m sorry, Nicole.” Waverly’s voice was thick with tears and muffled by her arms. “It was really good, but I just -”

“Don’t worry, Waverly. I’m sorry to see you sick.”

They sat like that for a while before Waverly wiped away the tears on her cheek and rose to her feet with support from Nicole. “I should go home.”

“Are you sure? I can make you more food if you want?” There was surely not much left in Waverly’s stomach.

Waverly just shook her head. “I kind of lost my appetite.” 

Nicole nodded and helped Waverly to her feet.

“Thank you, again, Nicole,” Waverly said as she gathered her coat and fluffy hat. 

Nicole watched her prepare to leave and quickly made up her mind. 

“Wait.” She reached for Waverly’s hand, the one that was holding her phone. “Give me your phone.”

Nicole entered her number and handed it back. “Now you can call me if you need to.” She smiled. “Or you can just come by. I’m usually home.”

Waverly nodded gratefully. She really wanted Nicole to wrap her strong arms around her one more time and hold her against her warm body, but it felt stupid to ask for a hug. So she just gave another signature smile and left, leaving a flustered Nicole behind. 

\---

When she got home, Champ was sitting on the withered porch steps waiting for her. 

Wynonna opened the door as Waverly walked up the driveway, warning her about Champ’s obvious presence. “I told him he wasn’t welcome here and that he should fuck the hell off but he wouldn’t listen.”

“It’s okay, Wynonna. He and I should talk.”

She felt much calmer today, after spending the night in Nicole’s soft bed. She hadn’t felt this rested for a while.

Waverly marched past Champ without looking at him and he quickly followed, not wanting to miss the opportunity now that the door was open. Wynonna scowled at him as he followed Waverly up the stairs to her room.

Waverly closed the door and turned to Champ who was making himself comfortable on her bed. “So.”

“Yeah.”

Champ sucked at talking. Not that he wasn’t able to (although his vocabulary would testify otherwise), but he just didn’t approve of talking about feelings. He had once told her he thought it was dumb, and something “for chicks to pass the time”. 

“So you’re a cheater," Waverly accused with her arms crossed, casually leaning against her bedroom door.

“Oh, come on, like you’ve never kissed another boy.” Champ immediately went into defence. 

“No, Champ, I haven’t. Not while we were together.”

“Well,” Champ struggled for words, but then: “Well _ , fuck _ !”

He glared at her, like she was to blame for all of this. 

Waverly changed the subject. “We should talk about this kid.” She pointed at her stomach.

“What about it?”

“We have to figure out what to do. Do we keep it? How will it work?”

“No, you just get rid of it.” Champ was so matter-of-factly it made Waverly furious.

She pushed herself from her door and took three strides to close the gap between them, suddenly dangerously close. “ _ I _ just get rid of it? We created this mess together.”

“What the hell, Waverly. This is your fault! You didn’t want to get the fucking pill and now look what you’ve done.”

Waverly wanted to slap that stupid look off his fucking face, but balled her fists instead. No need to get physical.

“No, Champ! This is a shared responsibility. You can’t blame me for this. It could just as well be you who forgot to put a fucking condom on!” 

She knew it wasn’t fair, but it felt good to put some blame on his irresponsible ass. Besides, she couldn’t remember ever having forgotten the condom, she’d been pretty strict about that, even when Champ groaned and said it ruined the mood or it didn’t feel as good. She had already concluded that one of their condoms must have been faulty - she’d learned from her endless reruns of  _ Friends _ that it wasn’t a one-hundred percent safe method.

But then something popped into her head. Something that had quite honestly been gnawing at the edge of her mind for some time. Something she had tried to force down, away from existence. 

“Champ, what happened at the cabin trip?” 

She had been afraid to ask that question. Until now. 

Champ was confused about the sudden change of subject. “What do you mean? We got drunk, we partied, we had fun.” 

“I meant, did we have sex? I mean, on Friday.” She could remember Champ’s lazy efforts of going down on her that Saturday. She also remembered not even getting close to finishing because he got bored and went to get more beer.

“Yes, of course. We fucked! You were there?”

Her eyes misted over into a horrible mixture of anger and betrayal. She poked her finger hard in his chest. “You dick! I was unconscious.” Each word was accentuated by a sharp stab to his chest. 

“Ow!” He rubbed the spot painfully. “Waverly, what the hell? You’re my girlfriend. We have sex. It happens.”

Waverly could feel tears forming in her eyes. “Not when I’m comatose, you bastard.” She wrapped her arms around her body and turned away from him. She didn’t want him to see how much it hurt. 

“It wasn’t like that. You were awake. You wanted it.”

A violent sob escaped from Waverly’s chest and betrayed her strength. Champ got up from the bed. 

“Babe, you begged for it.”

Champ tried to reach for her, but she tore herself away from him.

“Don’t touch me.”

He huffed loudly and let his balled fists fall to his side. His rather limited emotional range was not equipped to dealing with a sobbing girlfriend. His strength was, well, his strength. But when his Plan A of holding her against him until she would calm the fuck down went sideways, what else could he do?

He groaned and kicked the trash can next to Waverly’s desk. Balled up sheets of paper and odd bits of pencil shrapnel went flying across the floor. The can itself hit the door of her closet with an echoing clank.

“You weren’t even bleeding,” he mumbled grumpily as he paced her bedroom floor.

Waverly froze with her arms still hugging her waist. “What are you -?” She turned around to face her boyfriend. 

“You weren’t, you know, on your period,” he explained, hesitating to say the word. “I wouldn’t do you if you were bleeding.”

“Are you kidding me?” 

Not only had Champ confessed to screw her in her highly intoxicated state, now she had to lecture the fucking dumbass on the female reproductive system.

“That’s not -” she started. She was so angry she could feel her entire body trembling. Then she remembered how Champ had been snapping those free condoms across the classroom instead of paying attention to Mr. Ramaker last year when they were learning about reproduction and got even angrier. 

Instead of giving a lecture about the menstrual cycle she ended up picking up her biology book that was conveniently on the shelf right behind her and throwing it at his head. “Read a fucking book for once, Champ!” she screamed as the book hit his right eyebrow with a satisfying thump.

But Champ was relentless. He ignored the attack-by-book and reached for Waverly again.

“Waves, I’m sorry, okay? Can’t you just get rid of the thing and everything can be normal again?” 

He grabbed her arms painfully and tried to hug her against him. He was stronger than her, always holding her too tight so she couldn’t escape. For a long time she had accepted it - she had even  _ liked  _ his restricting embrace at some point. Thought it was safe, even romantic.

But now it was too much. His arms were claustrophobic and she couldn’t breath and he was so infuriatingly dumb and a  _ dick _ . Waverly punched his chest and screamed for him to “Get off! Get off me!” until Wynonna stormed into the room and tore him away from her. 

“Get out, Champ.”

Champ turned to Wynonna with fire in his eyes. 

“This ain’t your business, Wynonna,” he growled.

The flames in his eyes were nothing compared to the gleaming lightning in Wynonna’s dangerous glare. 

“Get out!”

And with a last huff and an angry growl, he was gone, leaving Waverly in a useless quivering heap on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all your lovely comments and kudos. I really appreciate it! Come yell at me on tumblr @zaxagra if you want!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this chapter is quite the rollercoaster. It starts with a rather deep dive into Waverly's numbness, so trigger warning. But then: Best Friend of the Year-award goes to Chrissy Nedley! And Wynonna makes tea!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the first part of this chapter while sitting on the train across the country, with "God Don't Leave Me" by Highasakite on repeat. It really helped to set the mood.
> 
> God, don't leave me I'll freeze  
> I panic in my bedroom half asleep  
> God, don't tempt me I'm weak  
> A needle is a shitty way to leave  
> Creator of my awful mind  
> You crossed the line this time  
> You crossed the line this time  
> It's been a long time since the phone rang and it was you

Waverly didn’t go to school the next day or the day after that. She didn’t sleep or eat or talk, and Wynonna’s mood changed from worried to angry to worried again.

After Wynonna had forced Champ away from her, Waverly had sunk to the ground. She was a mess, a destroyed collection of muscle and bones. Her face was contorted in anger and pain, hidden from sight as her forehead was pressed down against the cold hardwood floor. Wynonna clutched the shivering body against her chest until the desperate gasps for air had stilled and became ragged breaths. Everything hurt. The air in her lungs, her knees resting uncomfortably on the hard floor, her cracked lips, her sore eyes. The stains on her cheeks were just as much from Wynonna’s tears as her own. They were all dried out now. The tears were finally replaced with a dry nothingness. Waverly was nothing more than an empty shell.

Wynonna eventually lifted the limp body from the floor and tucked her in under the multiple blankets on the bed. She even got an extra duvet from her own bedroom, gently tucking it around the unresponsive ghost of her sister. She hadn’t needed to, the lump in the bed felt no temperature. Warm and cold only mere ideas of a body once alive.

Wynonna draped her own body against Waverly’s side, holding her securely in her arms. Wynonna’s whispers of hope and comfort never registered. The only echoing thoughts bouncing off the dark walls of her hallow mind were the words Champ had left her with.

_Babe, you begged for it._

_You were awake, you wanted it._

As time passed, the words started to mix with Wynonna’s rude snoring. Was it a minute? An hour? No one knew. 

Wynonna slept, and Waverly lay staring at the dark ceiling. There was a tired ache behind her eyes, but it was never enough to knock her out. And what kind of restless state would she experience if she were to fall asleep? It was better to stay awake and feel the slight tingle of numbness in her fingers, while her mind raced with Champ’s truth.

_You begged for it. You wanted it._

She didn’t notice the darkness fading into light when it became morning. She also didn’t notice Wynonna moving beside her and speaking meaningless words. A plate was offered to her, food maybe, and water. She didn’t need it anyway. 

Wynonna called Doc, and told him she couldn’t come to work. Waverly could hear her sister whispering about her just outside her bedroom, but didn’t register the meaning of the words. An hour later, Doc came by with creamy mushroom soup, but it turned cold and was left untouched on her nightstand next to the sandwiches and the glass of water from before. 

Wynonna would occasionally come into her room and sit on the bed to try and get her to talk. 

“What did he tell you?” she asked one time, while Waverly lay with her back towards her (at least she had moved from her paralyzed, supine position).

Another time, Wynonna just burst into the bedroom and growled that she would “punch him in the fucking face”. Waverly gave no response, the circles under her eyes only getting darker.

Champ tried to come by in the afternoon, but Wynonna chased him off with an old tennis racket before he was even halfway up the driveway. Waverly could hear the shouting from her bed, but it was hard to distinguish the words. They seemed muffled, drowning in the heavy air surrounding her.

Tuesday started out with a fresh wave of morning sickness. There was nothing in Waverly’s stomach but bile and acid that turned the toilet water black. Wynonna helped her drink some tap water, and fed her dry crackers. It was the only thing her stomach could handle. 

Chrissy texted her several times, first to ask where she was and if she was sick, and then to tell her that she was coming by after school. Waverly ignored all the buzzes and plings from her phone, not fully noticing the sounds. And then her friend was suddenly at the door.

She could hear Wynonna talking to Chrissy and was sure she was gonna send her away, but there was suddenly a knock on the door.

“Hey,” came Chrissy’s soft voice from the door. “Can I come in?”

Waverly lay in a ball on one end of her bed, facing away from the door. She was so tired.

The sound of footsteps and the bed shifted. Chrissy put a hand on Waverly’s shoulder.

“Waves, are you okay?”

After a minute Waverly gathered herself enough to open her mouth and give a quiet croak. “Not really.” Her voice was raspy and weak after not having been used the last few days.

“I brought your homework.”

Waverly cleared her throat and tried to make her voice stronger this time. “Thanks.” 

“I’ll just put them on your desk, okay?” She could hear Chrissy rummaging around in her backpack and producing a few sheets of paper that she put on the desk. 

She could see Chrissy’s shadow moving against the wall she was facing, and suddenly a pang of guilt washed through her. Her best friend cared for her, her sister cared for her, and here she was, in her bed, wailing in her own misery. She had to at least try to not be a useless human being. For them if not for herself.

 _Time to face the world, Earp_.

Waverly stretched her fingers and felt that there was still life there, still blood and nerves and sinew. She lifted one weak hand to rub her face and slowly, very slowly, pushed herself up. When her efforts had brought her to sit upright, with her back against the headrest, she noticed Chrissy’s concerned face staring at her. 

“You look terrible.”

Waverly smiled weakly. “Thanks, dipshit.”

Chrissy sat down again on the bed. She wasn’t sure how to interact with her friend who suddenly had a face of ash where there used to be a joyful spark. Waverly was always the strong one, not her.

“Is it about Champ?” she finally asked, bravely meeting the hollows of Waverly’s defeated eyes.

Waverly nodded.

“Stephanie told everyone that he dumped you.”

“That’s not true,” Waverly said, her voice gaining strength. “I dumped him.” She tried to swallow, but her tongue felt too thick.

“That’s what I thought.”

Chrissy grew silent again.

“Stephanie’s a bitch,” Waverly said.

“I know.”

“They slept together.”

Chrissy raised her eyebrows dramatically. “What, Steph and Champ?”

Waverly nodded slowly. “And Sonya too.” Her face was somehow neutral when she delivered the facts to Chrissy. The ability to care had dried up together with her eyes.

“Shit.” Chrissy considered the information for a while. “I guess they’re all assholes.”

“I guess so.”

They were silent for a bit, as Chrissy filed away the information. After a minute, she asked, “Do you mean Steph and Champ and Sonya… At the same time?”

Waverly had no energy to chuckle, but her body made a valiant effort. Her chest shook with the confined laughter, and there came a strange noise from the back of her throat. “Maybe,” she said with a half smile. “Who even knows, really…”

Chrissy looked at her. She seemed pleased that she had managed to lure a smile out of Waverly. She swallowed, returning to the matter at hand. “But, are you okay?”

Waverly’s almost-smile withered. “I’ve been better.” The twinkle in her eye was nowhere to be found. 

Chrissy crawled up the bed to sit beside her and hugged her nice and long.

“You’ll get over him, you’re the strongest person I know,” she said with a whisper, as if there were others in the room who weren’t supposed to hear.

Waverly buried her face in Chrissy’s shoulder, letting the embrace comfort her for a while.

“Chrissy?” Waverly asked cautiously. She’d been wanting to ask her about this, but it wasn’t easy getting the words out. Her throat was all dried up, and her tongue still prevented her from swallowing. She so desperately needed to swallow, to quell the giant lump in her throat. 

“Yes?”

Waverly settled on clearing her throat instead before venturing on. “You remember the trip? Before Christmas?” 

Chrissy nodded. Waverly sat up again, reaching for the glass on her nightstand. She drank a few sips before she continued. It didn’t help with the lump.

“Do you remember what happened the first night? I was, uh, a bit drunk.”

Chrissy chuckled shortly. “Well, that’s to say it lightly. You were bragging about being the true Earp heir and drank like half a bottle of whiskey.” She looked at Waverly. “Why?”

“Well, uhm.” She clutched the glass hard, making her knuckles go white. “I think Champ and I, you know.”

Chrissy nodded with eyebrows raised. “Yeah, for sure. You guys were all over each other.”

 _Shit_.

“Why do you ask?”

Waverly tried again, and finally managed to swallow down a small portion of the lump that was constricting her throat. “Well, I thiiiink that’s the night I got pregnant.”

She frased it almost like a joke, with a long high-pitched “thiiiink”. But it wasn’t a joke, and Chrissy knew it.

It took a minute before she said anything. “Oh, fuck.”

Waverly sighed. “Yeah.”

“So you’re pregnant? Now?”

“Yep.”

“And Champ -”

“Well, obviously.”

“Damn.”

“Damn.”

Waverly downed the rest of the water but kept the glass in her hands. It kept her grounded, gave her hands something to hold on to.

“So what are you gonna do?”

Waverly shrugged. “I haven’t decided yet. It’s kinda hard with everything that’s going on.”

“Yeah, shit, I can imagine.”

Chrissy was lost in thought, so Waverly just rolled the glass around in her cold hands, and waited to see if she would say anything more.

“D’you remember how we became friends?” Chrissy asked suddenly. Waverly had to scrunch up her face to recall the memory.

“Yeah, you were stuck in a Porta-Potty.” It was the first spring after Waverly had moved from Purgatory, and started her new high school in the Big City. They were renovating the school building after a massive leak, and for three horrible weeks everyone was forced to use the gross portable toilets stationed outside the gym building. 

“The boys had locked me in there.”

Waverly nodded, remembering the details now.

“Champ too, right?”

“Yup. And you where whacking at them with these sticks, I think they were from the gym storage room? And they ran off, scared of this new chick who was tough enough to hit them back.”

Waverly laughed fondly. “That’s right.”

Chrissy nodded. “No one else would stand up to them, you know. You never stayed out of a fight, Waves. You always knew how to win it.”

Purgatory had made her tough, Waverly realised. She’d been so outspoken when she first moved here, always standing up to the bullies. Had she lost her bravery along the way?

“I can’t believe you got together with him.”

Her smile wavered. “Me neither.”

How the hell had she ended up here? She’d known from the start what a huge dick Champ was. How could she forget?

“God, he was a dick and three quarters back then.”

Chrissy sniggered, but Waverly’s face remained still and emotionless.

Chrissy frowned at her and grabbed her hand. “You’ll be okay, you know. No matter what you decide, you’ll be awesome. I know you will.”

“Thanks, Chrissy.” She put her head on Chrissy’s shoulder and sighed, letting it all sink in. “Everything is gonna change now, right?”

Chrissy considered it for a moment. “Well, some things will change. You’ll probably not sit with Champ and the guys at lunch anymore, but I seriously doubt you’re gonna miss them.”

“Yeah…” Waverly had liked being part of the popular crowd. She liked how everyone wanted to talk to her and be her friend. But those days were over now. She was back to being an outsider.

“You can sit with me and Robin instead.”

“Robin?”

“Yeah, he’s my lab partner in biology. He’s really good.”

Waverly realised that Chrissy hadn’t been sitting at the popular table either and suddenly felt guilty. Her grab for high school fame had made her forget about her best friend. Luckily, her best friend hadn’t forgotten about her.

She squeezed Chrissy’s hand. “Jeremy can sit with us too.”

\---

Chrissy stayed for dinner that evening (Wynonna had made pre-packaged Mac ‘n’ Cheese in the microwave), and they watched a movie and laughed and talked, just like they used to. They vowed to watch a movie together every week, and Waverly felt a bit better when she told Chrissy goodbye. Her Dad was waiting outside in his police cruiser, off late from work as usual. She waved at him from the front door, and he smiled his gruffy smile and raised a large hand to her in greeting. 

Then she helped Wynonna clean the kitchen and went up to take a shower. She spent a long time under the hot water, scrubbing away the memory of Champ’s grabby hands from her skin and washing the memory of dried up tears from her face. When she got out, she felt clean and refreshed and smelled of flowers. 

She was just changing the bed linens when Wynonna came in, carrying a jar of dark chocolate and macadamia cookies in one hand and in the other two steaming mugs of… tea? That didn’t seem like her sister. She referred to tea as “hippie hemorrhoid brew” and refused all of Waverly’s attempts to lure her into drinking “soothing sunshine herbal tea”.

“You made tea?” Waverly asked surprised. 

Wynonna shrugged. “It always makes you happy, so I thought why not.”

She had a hard time balancing the cups in her one hand, but managed to put them down on Waverly’s desk with some juggling, swearing as she burned her fingers.

Waverly smiled fondly and walked over to hug her sister tightly. “You’re not that much of a lone wolf, you know.”

Wynonna grumbled and sat down on the freshly made bed. Waverly happily grabbed one of the mugs, and warmed up at the smell of green tea with a hint of ginger. She sat down next to Wynonna and preceded to softly blow at the warm drink.

“So, uh, Chrissy was good?” 

Waverly put her hand on Wynonna’s fidgeting fingers. 

“Chrissy was good. And so are you.”

\---

When Wynonna was in the shower, Waverly grabbed her bejeweled phone. It had been untouched since Sunday morning and the battery was dangerously low, so Waverly quickly plugged it in the charger by her nightstand. With a few taps she found Nicole’s number in her contact list. She hadn’t texted her yet, unsure of what to say.

Waverly sat down on her bed and tried a few different opening lines.

_Hey, this is Waverly. Can I see you again?_

_Hey, you wanna hang?_

_So Champ’s a dick, can you come and talk about it?_

After typing several options, one more desperate than the other, she settled with a simple “Hey, what’s up?” before remembering that Nicole didn’t have _her_ number yet. “It’s Waverly btw”.

Nicole answered within a minute.

Nicole [21.43]: I'm trying to read about this case on financial fraud but it’s incredibly boring

Waverly smiled at her phone. She could picture Nicole hunching over a book the size of a brick and gnawing on her pen. She wondered if she studied at home, at the breakfast table surrounded by a sea of blue. Or maybe she was at the on-campus library. Waverly had always wanted to go there.

 _Nicole_ [21.44]: How about you?

 _Waverly_ [21.45]: I’m just getting ready for bed. It’s been a long day

 _Nicole_ [21.45]: Do you wanna talk about it?

 _Nicole_ [21.46]: Maybe tomorrow? We can take a walk if you want

Waverly considered it for a long while. The only thing she wanted to do was stroll around campus with Nicole again, talking easily and feeling those warm hands softly rubbing her wrist. Maybe they could go for cocoa again. But then she eyed the pile of homework Chrissy had left for her. She hadn’t read through it yet.

 _Waverly_ [21.49]: I’ve got a ton of homework to catch up on, but maybe you wanna come to peacemaker? I’ll probably be there the entire evening. Wynonna is working

It took a minute before Nicole answered and Waverly was already worried. But then her phone buzzed again.

 _Nicole_ [21.51]: Sure, we can meet there. Just text me tomorrow when you’re done studying

 _Waverly_ [21.52]: Will do! Good night :)

 _Nicole_ [21.52]: Good night :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend @jorekbyrnison, you are awesome! Also, thanks to my lovely gf for researching comma rules for me <3
> 
> Find me on tumblr @zaxagra


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week, Waverly is back at school and discovers how good her friends really are. She has an interesting talk with Sonya. Meanwhile, Nicole is waiting around for Waverly to text her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my good friend and beta @jorekbyrnison as always! And my gf for adding the appropriate amount of commas.   
> Find me on Tumblr @zaxagra!

Waverly was back at school on Wednesday morning. She was still tired and had no appetite, but Wynonna had scowled at her until she finished at least half of her yoghurt and müsli, and Randy Nedley had picked her up at the corner of her street to drive her to school together with Chrissy. 

She didn’t exactly feel ready to face the curious glares of her fellow students. They had no doubt heard all about her breakup with Champ from Steph’s stupid mouth. At least she had Chrissy by her side, who dutifully scowled at Kyle York when he stared a bit too long at Waverly in the corridor. When morning sickness arrived between first and second period, Chrissy stood guard by the door of the girls’ toilets, even sending Italian exchange student Giuliana away who had bled through her tampon.

At lunch, Chrissy led them to a table at the back of the cafeteria, far away from Champ and Stephanie and Sonya and the rest of them. Chrissy’s new friend Robin was already there. Waverly remembered seeing him around in the corridors and felt bad for not knowing his name. She told him exactly that, but he shook his head excitedly and explained that he had just transferred here from Nova Scotia. 

“My Mom works in the army so we move around a lot. I’m used to new schools and new people. Don’t worry about it.”

Jeremy joined them as well. He had a stack of books with him and a huge binder. 

“For my science project,” he explained as he tried to push it all into his already loaded backpack. The seams did a valiant job trying to keep it all together. 

He returned with a notepad and a pen, sitting up properly as if this was a formal meeting. Chrissy was flipping through the pages of her weekly planner until she found what she was looking for, clicking her pen a few times in the process. Waverly didn’t understand. Wasn’t this lunch?

“So,” Chrissy said, reading through the list on her page. “The Yearbook is coming along really well, but we’re a little down on the photography-side. I’ve talked to Alex about it and he was gonna look into it, maybe put out a public notice so that everyone can turn in their best snapshots. I think we’re gonna have a meeting next week to figure out which photos we wanna use and what we’re missing.”

“Right.” Jeremy nodded at Chrissy and started on his own list. “I’ve finalized the Green Devils’ report on waste in the cafeteria. I’ve listed a number of suggestions on how we could go forward to reduce the usage of plastic packaging. Maybe you wanna look over it before we present it to Headmaster Moody?” 

He looked up at Waverly who was staring wide eyed at her table companions. Jeremy smiled and took a bite of his apple. Chrissy also looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something. 

Her friends had it all under control. They had made sure to do anything they could to help Waverly out. She didn’t know what to say, because  _ she  _ was the editor of the Yearbook and  _ she  _ was supposed to write the Green Devils’ report, and now that work was done. Chrissy and Jeremy had stepped up their game to keep her afloat as she was sinking in her lifeboat. The pleasant surprise left her entirely unable to speak, but with the beginnings a smile. 

“Uhm.” Robin cleared his throat with slight hesitation. He didn’t know Waverly, but he knew the only two friends he’d made at this school cared a lot about her. Which meant she was probably pretty cool. “Jeremy told me about Green Devils and I’d like to join, maybe? I’ve got an idea to do this Weekly Vegan Recipe-thing?”

Chrissy’s eyes lit up in ecstasy. “Maybe we can print it in the school paper too! Kind of like a weekly update on how to go green with accompanying recipes?” She was talking to herself now, in rapid tones and with glassy eyes, building the concept in her head. 

Chrissy was the co-editor of the high school newspaper, The Daily Devil (which ironically only came out once every two weeks). Waverly had, of course, written a few articles for the newspaper (mostly concerning school politics), but had never held a formal position like Chrissy had. 

After a moment, Chrissy noticed her table companions looking at her. “I’ve been struggling to find something to replace the School History column,” she explained. “Do you think Green Devils could sort of pilot this column?”

Jeremy nodded excitedly and started to scribble enthusiastically in his notebook. 

Waverly had quite liked the School History-column, but it had been obvious that the topic had soon been exhausted after the launch a year ago. They had tried to recycle some of the anecdotes, but there wasn’t much to work with.

“You think people’ll be interested?” Robin asked.

“I mean, we can try!” Chrissy said hopefully.

It was great. Waverly felt so cared for, in a different way than she had been for a long time. Water was starting to form in her eyes, and Waverly wiped at them with her sleeve. Chrissy, ever observant, put her hand on Waverly’s arm and gave her a look that said  _ we’re here for you _ . 

Waverly had always been the strong one. The one to help out her friends. Science had never been Chrissy’s strong suit, so Waverly had helped her figure out a science project more than once. Even Jeremy had come to her for help with French grammar once. And she always had a hug to offer or a shoulder to lean on when things were hard. Jeremy was constantly picked on by the hockey team, and Chrissy’s heart was broken when Perry stopped answering her texts, resulting in a few tearful nights on Waverly’s couch.

Waverly never asked for anything in return, because she never needed to. But now, when her world had suddenly turned upside-down...

“We got you, Waves,” Chrissy said with a low voice. 

Waverly nodded gratefully. 

She looked over at the table were she used to sit. Champ was nowhere to be seen - was he even at school? Stephanie occasionally scowled over at Waverly, softly whispering to Sonya who was sitting next to her. Stephanie had a cruel smirk on her face, happily gloating in Waverly’s absence at the popular kids’ table. Sonya, on the other hand, looked quite guilty when Waverly caught her eye. Sonya quickly diverted her gaze, and shook her head at Steph’s inaudible comment. 

When Waverly was rummaging around in her locker twenty minutes later, trying to find her Biology book, Sonya quietly came up behind her and cleared her throat. 

“Hi, eh, Waves?” she asked nervously, cautiously looking around to see if anyone was listening.

“Steph’s locker is in the west corridor,” Waverly reminded her in a flat tone, but Sonya remained fidgety and awkward. 

She didn’t meet Waverly’s eyes and didn’t say anything either, only fumbling with the hem of her too-short skirt. Waverly had no time for this - she had to find her book before class began. So she turned her back to the girl and kept looking. 

“What, Sonya?” Waverly eventually asked, annoyed. She could feel the nervous energy radiating from the mute behind her.

“I just -”

Waverly turned around to look at her and Sonya finally looked up from her trembling fingers.

“I wanted to say, well.” She sighed dramatically. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? Sleeping with my boyfriend?”

Sonya’s face turned pink and she looked around the corridor again. No one was watching them.

She gulped. “Yes.” 

Waverly crossed her arms and leaned her shoulder against the row of lockers. Sonya’s face was filled with regret. But Waverly wasn’t gonna let her off the hook that easily.

“I didn’t even like him,” Sonya whispered. “But he was really keen, and well...” The last words were a silent whisper. “He’s the hockey captain.”

Waverly continued to look at her with a raised eyebrow at the fucking  _ dumbass  _ explanation.

“It was long ago though. Before you guys had even, you know...” Sonya’s ridiculous words were rushed now. 

Was she serious?

“You know, it doesn’t really make me feel better to know that he was a cheating bastard from the start.”

Sonya looked at her, her eyes pleading. “I’m really, really sorry, Waverly. Are you mad?”

“Of course I’m mad, Sonya,” Waverly snapped, but then looked at the girl. They’d never been good friends. Sonya was always just kind of there, in the periphery of the group, mostly following Stephanie around. Part of the gang, but more like a filler. Plain, gullible. But innocent. 

Usually.

“I’m mad at Champ.”

Then Waverly realised something. “Shit!” She closed her locker with a metallic bang. “ _ That’s _ where my book is.”

“Uh, what?” Sonya looked confused. 

“My book. I threw it at Champ.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause he was being a dick.”

The book was still on her bedroom floor, where it had landed after the dull thud against Champ’s head.

The bell rang, but the girls didn’t move. Sonya was bravely trying to look Waverly in the eye, but those eyes were far away, thinking back on curses and lies from Champ’s mouth. After a moment, Waverly blinked and snapped back to the school corridor.

She sighed. “It’s on him, Sonya.”

Sonya didn’t understand. 

“I mean, you were wrong.” Waverly grabbed her bag, ready to go. “But it’s mostly on him. Alright? I’m not mad at you.”

Sonya nodded, obviously relieved.

“But I gotta go.”

Waverly came rushing into the Biology lab a few minutes later and slung herself into her usual seat next to Jeremy.

Jeremy looked at her, puzzled, and whispered “Where’s your book?”

“I chucked it at Champ’s head.”

\---

Social statistics was a fucking bitch.

Nicole’s paper on multivariate analysis was due on Friday, and she still hadn’t written a word. She had read the same paragraph about analysis of variance three times without understanding a word. The book could as well be in Greek.

She sighed and opened her phone again. She’d spent most of her day staring at the few short texts Waverly had sent her yesterday. 

_ Waverly  _ [21.45] I’m just getting ready for bed. It’s been a long day

For the fourth time since she sat down in the library, Nicole wondered if something had happened since she last saw her. She’d been waiting for Waverly to text her since Sunday, but had only heard from her yesterday - two days later.

She knew she was being pathetic - two days wasn’t really that much, after all. But two days felt like frickin’ infinity when waiting for a girl to text you.

Waverly had probably been busy. 

_ Too busy to think of me. _

At least she would see her again tonight at Peacemaker.

Nicole shook her head and looked at her textbook again. Time to tackle this monster.

But then her phone buzzed and the screen lighted up again. Nicole’s heart stumbled over an extra beat in its swift excitement. But it wasn’t Waverly who was calling. It was Jackie Haught.

_ Fucking fuck. _

She let it ring a few times before she sighed and grabbed the phone, and then quickly stepped outside in the corridor before she answered.

“Hi, mom.”

“Nicole.” Even with the metallic sound from the phone, her mother sounded annoyed. “You haven’t returned any of my calls.”

Nicole had ignored all phone calls from her mother since Thursday.

“I wanted to tell you about the internship,” her mother continued without waiting for an answer.

Jackie Haught had set her up with an internship in Toronto for the summer at her parents’ company. Which would mean she had to see her mother not only every day at home, but also every second she was at work. It was the single worst thing Nicole could image. 

Summer vacation, my ass.

“I, uh -” Nicole started pacing in the corridor. “I thought maybe I could stay here this summer. You know, find a relevant job, maybe travel a bit.”

“Nicole, it wasn’t easy to get you this internship.”

“No, I know, but I’m not even a Law student yet. I’m probably way underqualified, and I -”

“I’ve arranged that you will be spending 6 weeks at our firm. You can travel after that.”

“But mom -”

“You will be working here in a few years, you might as well get to know the company now.”

There was no use to try and get out of it. Nicole was once again defeated by her dear mother. She sighed. “Yes, mother.”

“It will be a valuable experience. I know Farris will take good care of you, he’s in charge of our interns. Will you contact him? I’ve sent you his email address.”

“I will, mother.”

“Fantastic. Now, how is school?”

“It’s okay. I’ve got an assignment about -”

“That’s great, honey. Do your best, okay?”

Nicole could hear someone talking to her mother at the other end of the phone. It sounded like Martin, her assistant. 

“Say hi to Shae from me.”

“Yeah, I will, but -”

_ Beeeeep _ .

Her mother had hung up.

“Fuck.” 

Nicole kicked the floor, ignoring the first-years who passed her with wide eyes, and then went back to the library to wait for Waverly to text her.

\---

“Hey, baby girl!” Wynonna slung an arm over Waverly’s shoulder and kissed her forehead. “How was school?”

Waverly shrugged. “It was alright.”

Peacemaker was nearly empty. Only a few people sat scattered around the bar, most of them alone, reading textbooks of various sizes. Some were sipping coffee, and others had already started drinking beer. Student life, Waverly figured. 

Wynonna guided Waverly to her usual booth in the corner, and went to get her a drink. 

“Your favorite,” she said and placed a tall glass of bubbly water with ice cubes and a slice of lime in front of her.

“Thanks, Doc!” Waverly called to where he was stocking bottles of liquor behind the bar. He winked in acknowledgement. Wynonna scowled at the two of them before sitting down on the opposite side of Waverly.

“So, uh, did you see him today?”

Waverly shook her head and took a big gulp, the carbonated water sparkling in her throat. “Nope. I don’t think he was there.”

“Huh.”

“Sonya apologized though.”

“Sonya?”

“Yeah, you know. The tramp he slept with.”

“I thought he slept with Stephanie?”

“He did.”

Wynonna arched her perfect eyebrow. “So he screwed them both?”

“Yeah.”

“And you.”

Waverly arched her eyebrow and gave her best  _ excuse me? _ -glare.

Wynonna effectively overlooked the accused face of her sister. “What a bag of aching dicks.”

Waverly sighed in agreement.

“And Stephanie?”

“What about her?”

“Did she say sorry too?”

“Nope.” Waverly popped the P. 

“Asshole.”

“Yup.” Another pop.

Wynonna looked at her for a bit, and eventually nodded, satisfied with the nonchalant way Waverly spoke of her day.

“I’m gonna go work, okay?” She stood up just as a group of students walked in. “Tell me if you need anything.”

Waverly smiled.

She had a shit ton of homework to catch up on. Jeremy had thankfully done most of their group assignment on organic chemistry already, but there was still her essay about  _ Canada, the Melting Pot _ for Mrs. Lewis in English, Professor Malick’s reading assignment on the Gulf War and the French test that she was redoing on Friday. 

She pulled out her French book and started repeating the rules of passé composé and imparfait. She remembered it almost perfectly, so it didn’t take long before she checked that off the list.

History next.

Doc came over with some french fries after an hour. He smiled and tipped his hat, not wanting to disturb her workflow. Waverly looked up. She’d been entirely engulfed in, well, the Gulf War, and hadn’t noticed the bar filling up with customers. She was always amazed at the amount of beers university students would drink on a weeknight.

She shrugged and continued working, occasionally snacking on a french fry. 

When Wynonna came by to check on her again, she was bent over her reading assignment, resting her head in her hands. Her eyelids were drooping. 

“Hey, baby sis, you alright?”

Wynonna sat down next to her, and started stroking Waverly’s hunched back in a comforting way.

“Wha -?” said Waverly, with her beat eyes still on the page. She suddenly realized that she’d read the same sentence four times over, and didn’t even know what the topic was. “Shit.”

“Yeah,” Wynonna agreed. 

Waverly rubbed her eye, trying to wipe away her fatigue. The evening had started out so great. She had felt like she’d found her spark again, full of energy and ready to tackle the mountain of work before her. She’d only gone to pee twice, and had even remembered to send an email to Headmaster Moody to request a meeting on behalf of Green Devils. But now a constant “404 Error”-message was blinking in her brain. She was only halfway through the chapter on the Gulf War, and hadn’t even started thinking about outlining her essay for English.

“How late is it?” she mumbled and leaned her head on Wynonna’s bony shoulder.

Wynonna checked Waverly’s watch. “Nearly seven.”

Waverly had zoned out again, and Wynonna could hear the beginning of her soft snoring.

“I’m gonna drive you home, sis.”

“No!” Waverly shook her head in a valiant effort to clear her head. “No, I was gonna…”

She was gonna text Nicole and have her come over. She had pictured her sitting next to her, where Wynonna was now, and they would talk. Waverly would watch as Nicole’s delicate features turned to fury when she told her about Champ and Sonya, and then they would turn soft again when she spoke about Chrissy and Jeremy and Robin. And maybe Nicole would finally share something about her own life. Maybe she would tell tales of her childhood or share her dreams for the future. Maybe Nicole’s thumb would draw soothing circles on the inside of her wrist. 

“You’re not gonna do anything good with that fried brain of yours, Wavey,” Wynonna cooed with a soft kiss to her forehead. 

\---

Finally, Waverly texted her. 

Nicole had given up her study session at the library and returned home for dinner. When Waverly still hadn’t texted her at five, she had decided to go for a run to shake off some of that fired up tension. With music blasting in her ears, she ran until the gnawing ache left by her mother was replaced by the taste of blood on her tongue. An hour later she was leaving the shower, heart still pounding from her first proper workout in ages. 

It took a long time to get dressed, cuffing her forest green chinos in just the right way and finding the perfect shirt to go with it. After several minutes in front of the mirror trying on different options, she scratched the chinos and put on dark blue skinny jeans and a white and black striped t-shirt. It looked casual, like it was something she just threw on. But still nice, like she’d done an effort.

Her heart leapt up when her phone dinged (she’d put on the sound for the first time in ages just to hear Waverly’s text come in). But then she read it, and her heart came crashing down to the floor instead. 

Waverly [19.07]:  _ I almost fell asleep and now Wynonna is driving me home. I’m so so sorry, I really wanted to see you!! _

Nicole closed her eyes and let herself fall on her queen bed. Meeting Waverly was all she’d been thinking about the entire day. The library and her run were only distractions before an evening at Peacemaker. 

With a sigh, she decided to shake of the disappointment. She couldn’t blame Waverly. Her life was a giant heap of shit right now, and the pregnancy probably didn’t help with the energy levels. But it still fucking sucked. She’d been craving another glimpse of Waverly’s exhilarated smile - the one that would some day cure cancer or save the polar bears from climate change, Nicole was sure of it. 

Nicole [19.09]:  _ No problem, Waves. Rain check? _

Waverly [19.10]:  _ For sure! I’ll text you tomorrow, okay? _


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly and Nicole finally get to spend some time together, but it isn't exactly a slow night at Peacemaker...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, my friend and beta @jorekbyrnison. Forever grateful for your guidance and inspiration.

Waverly [17.32]:  _ Hey, I’m at Peacemaker. Are you hungry? Doc made nachos! _

Nicole was outside the bar at precisely 17.43, hot from walking so quickly. She had cleverly recycled her outfit from yesterday (actually worn it all day just in case), and was hoping her sweat didn’t leave her with awkward stains under her arms. 

She checked her phone. Waverly had texted her exactly eleven minutes ago. 

Nicole considered her actions for a minute. Her readiness to give up everything she was doing (which was waiting for her phone to buzz) to answer Waverly’s text could maybe come across as a little desperate. Pathetic even. So she decided to take a short walk down the street to Tate’s Café and back. She didn’t notice Hetty the barista’s disappointed face when she passed the window for the second time, too eager to get back to Peacemaker. The slow walk also gave her heart rate a chance to calm down, although she suspected it would be off the charts again in just a bit.

When she was back at the bar eight long minutes later, she recognised Dolls at the door. He was sitting casually on a shitty barstool, nodding to new customers as they walked in. 

Dolls was Nicole’s TA in Criminology. She didn’t know him very well, but had grown to like the stoic man in her own way. He was kinda strict, always very direct. Whenever they had assignments or seminars he was the one who gave the most constructive criticism - although it was always quite scary to be in his spotlight. His penetrable eyes were difficult to decipher and he seldom gave praise other than a simple “Good work” along with an extensive list of things to consider to improve the assignment. The two times he had told her she had done well meant so much more than any praise coming from the other TA’s. 

Nicole hoped he hadn’t seen her when she was here just minutes earlier, but she suspected he had. She didn’t know anything about his personal life, but she was convinced that nothing got passed him unnoticed. Which probably made a good bouncer.

“Hi,” she told him shyly as she walked in.

Dolls greeted her with a short nod, clearly recognizing her, but choosing not be overly familiar with one of his students, and followed her with his eyes.

Nicole looked around the crowded bar and -

There was Waverly. In the corner. Her table was scattered with books and colorful pens, a half full glass of water and a barely touched plate of nachos by her elbow. She was tapping away on her laptop, seemingly in deep concentration.

As Nicole was looking, Waverly lifted her head to glance at the door. Her face lit up with a warm smile when she noticed the redhead and Nicole’s brain short-circuited.

The ability to hear sound and notice her surroundings suddenly faded away. If Nicole still had any cognitive functions left she might have thought she was having a stroke, but her brain had removed all irrelevant input, because Waverly was even more beautiful than she could remember. The reptilian part of Nicole’s brain bravely kept up her most important functions - expertly working her heart rate up a notch - while her visual cortex had taken over all other neural capacity. Had Waverly suddenly ascended to heaven and become an angel? Or had Nicole simply forgotten the radiance that surrounded the girl? 

Something hit Nicole’s shoulder and she blinked out of her Waverly-induced trance. A barmaid had bumped into her on her way to a table with loud boys. 

“Dude, you’re in my way,” the barmaid said, rather rudely. Nicole looked at her, still dazed from the vision that was Waverly Earp. And then realized it was Wynonna, Waverly’s sister.

“Oh, uh, sorry.” She smiled apologetically, but Wynonna had already moved on, now serving a large pitcher of beer to the boys. 

Nicole took a deep breath to calm down her overworked nervous system, and started to make her way over to where Waverly had apparently set up camp for the evening. 

“Hi,” she breathed as she sat down opposite her. 

Waverly gave a perfect smile, making her eyes twinkle like little half moons. “Hi.”

Nicole wondered how long she had been standing there, simply gaping at the girl, before Wynonna walked into her. And how long had Waverly been watching?

“Uh, how are you?” she asked distractedly.

“I’m better.”

Nicole nodded. She  _ looked  _ better. 

Nicole wondered again what could possibly have happened since she last saw her. Maybe it was her mind playing tricks on her, but Nicole could swear Waverly’s beautifully soft eyes had gotten a slight edge to them since she’d left Nicole’s apartment on Sunday morning an adorable shrivelled mess.

“Did you finish your homework?”

Waverly gestured to the laptop. “Most of it. I’m just starting on my essay for English, but it isn’t due before next week.”

She closed the computer with another smile. She looked so happy, like all the bad things in her life had suddenly evaporated. She slid the plate of food to the middle of the table. “I hope you’re hungry, Doc’s nachos are seriously heaven-sent.”

_ Like you _ , Nicole’s brain added. But she didn’t say it. 

Instead she reached for the plate and realized Waverly’s description was indeed very true. There was a perfect ratio between the nacho chips, black beans and cheese, and there was a well-balanced salsa accompanying the dish as well as a generous bowl of silky smooth guacamole. 

They sat munching for a while, adorably looking at each other with shy eyes, smiling whenever one of them caught the other staring. Nicole’s mind was rather preoccupied with the sight before her and didn’t have any sense of what was going on on her face. So when Waverly reached forward to wipe at the corner of her mouth, it was a total shock. Apparently there was a tiny splotch of salsa stuck on her face. Waverly almost brought the finger to her own mouth to lick it off, as if she was acting on instinct, but changed her mind halfway. With tinged cheeks matching Nicole’s ears she brushed off her finger on a paper napkin.

The whole situation was quite an adorable thing to watch.

Dolls was studying their beaming faces with interest, noticing how the air around the two girls seemed to tremble with  _ something _ without them even exchanging any words. 

Wynonna was on her way back from serving a table when she noticed Dolls’ line of sight. She elbowed him painfully and nodded in her sister’s direction.

“Who’s the ginger snap?”

Dolls didn’t even flinch from the sharp poke in his ribs, but sounded annoyed nonetheless when he answered. “Nicole Haught.”

“Nicole  _ Hot _ ? Damn, Dolls, I didn’t know you were the type to nickname flaming ginger chicks.”

“No, her  _ name  _ is Haught.” He spelled it out for Wynonna. “H-A-U-G-H-T.”

“Ah.”

They kept looking at the two just as Nicole accidentally bumped Waverly’s hand, making her drop a big scoop of guacamole and beans on the table. Waverly only laughed while she cleaned up the mess with her napkin.

“Who is she, though?” Wynonna asked again with a frown.

“She’s one of my students in Criminology. Quite smart to be honest. Good instinct.”

“Well, that’s all great I suppose, but what is she doing eating my sister’s food?”

“Maybe you should ask her.” He nudged his head towards the booth and raised his eyebrows at Wynonna, his face ever-stern.

Wynonna considered it for a moment, staring hard at the strange woman. Waverly seemed happy enough. But a lot had happened lately and she was feeling kind of protective of her sister, even more than usual. She simply couldn’t trust this stranger. With a curt nod she puffed up her chest all business-like and marched to the booth.

“Hey, baby girl. Can I get you anything? Maybe some more food? Looks like Haught dog over here couldn’t help herself.” 

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked accusingly at Nicole who had just put the very last nacho chip in her mouth. Nicole froze and tried to swallow the bite down as discreetly as possible. Needless to say, the damn thing went down her airpipe, making her choke. 

_ Great first impression, smart ass. _

Tears sprung to Nicole’s eyes as she started coughing, and she grabbed a napkin to clutch to her mouth. Wynonna stared her down, still with accusation written all over her face. 

Waverly scowled at her sister. “What the fuck, Wy?”

Wynonna turned to her, ignoring the spluttering mess that was Nicole. “Who’s the chick, sis?” 

Nicole was desperately gasping for air, but the Earp sisters apparently had something to settle. No Heimlich, no sir.

“She’s a friend,” Waverly answered with clenched teeth. “Now go get her some water.”

Wynonna turned around with a grumpy face and went to retrieve the glass from the bar. When she returned Nicole was almost back to normal, having coughed up the accused chip. She chugged down the water gratefully and rubbed her chest before looking up at the barmaid. 

_ Time to turn this situation around, Haught. _

She held out a hand for Wynonna, red eyes all confident. “I’m Nicole.” Her voice was raspy but strong.

Wynonna took it reluctantly.

“Waverly and I bumped into each other the other day. It got us talking.”

Wynonna narrowed her eyes at the ginger and then shifted her gaze to Waverly, who nodded affirmatively.

Wynonna looked long and hard at the strange woman who had somehow befriended her sister without her knowledge, and looked ready for a proper interrogation. She opened her mouth, but Waverly quickly cut her off.

“Can you get me another glass of sparkling water, please, Wy?” She looked at her with those angel eyes that no one in their right mind could resist. Not even her stubborn sister.

Wynonna sulkily turned around to tend to Waverly’s request, sighing out a short “Alright” before she left. Waverly reached across the table to grab Nicole’s arm.

“Shit, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

Nicole nodded with a sly smile. “Nachos ain’t gonna kill me.” She winked charmingly, but her face turned serious again a second later. “But your sister might.”

“Yeah, damn. She isn’t usually this protective.”

Nicole put her hand on top of Waverly’s where she was clutching her arm. “She’s probably just worried about you.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Nicole was right, of course. Wynonna had always been hostile towards Champ and had literally chased him off with a tennis racket only a few days ago. 

“It’s weird though, ‘cus she’s not really been around much. She was off with her biker gang for years and hasn’t really been home at all.” 

_ She always leaves. _

Waverly’s unspoken truth rang clearly from her somber eyes, effectively breaking Nicole’s heart.

Waverly swallowed. “And now that she’s back she’s suddenly gonna be this tough protective sister?”

“Well, she cares about you. And with everything that’s been going on with Champ and all, I kinda get it.” Nicole squeezed her hand. “I’d’ve liked to kick him in the balls myself, if I got the chance.”

Waverly didn’t react to the comment, deep in thought. 

Nicole looked at her. “Wave, did something more happen since Sunday?” She decided she had to know.

“Hm?” Waverly didn’t quite register the question at first, but then Nicole’s words caught up with her. “Oh. Yeah.” She cleared her throat. “Uhm, Champ came over. He told me to, you know...” She avoided Nicole’s eyes when she whispered the last words. “Get an abortion.” 

“Oh, shit. Seriously?” Nicole’s nostrils flared up. “He actually said that?” 

Waverly nodded carefully. The gentle squeeze to her fingers turned into a cramped hold and Nicole’s gaze went far away. 

“Fucking asshole,” she muttered darkly. “I’m gonna fucking deck him.”

Just then Wynonna came back with Waverly’s drink. She still wasn’t sure about Nicole and had thoughtfully not brought her anything even though Doc had suggested she get her a beer. 

Nicole didn’t seem to care, though. Her mind was far away and her mouth was muttering threats, saying “I’m gonna go give  _ him  _ an abortion, see how he likes it”. Meanwhile, Waverly was trying to wiggle her fingers out of the woman’s tight grip.

Wynonna’s mood went from suspicious to actual brothers-in-arms in zero seconds when she realized who Nicole’s threats were aimed at. She slapped Nicole’s back with a suddenly bright face. “Haught damn, are you talking about Chump, a.k.a. Waverly’s biggest mistake?”

Waverly scoffed offendedly. Nicole looked at the barmaid with confusion and suddenly realized how hard she was clutching Waverly’s hand. She quickly let go, but didn’t answer.

Wynonna continued to smile broadly. “Yo, Haught, you want a beer?” Her buddy mode was a lot more pleasant than her big sister-spiel.

“Uh.” Nicole looked uncertain from Waverly to Wynonna. “Sure? Thanks.”

Wynonna was off again, this time with a spring in her gait. Waverly was slowly rubbing her crushed fingers and decided Nicole didn’t need to know about the cabin trip. That might actually blow her headpan off, making her torch down Champ’s house. Maybe Wynonna would come with her.

Nicole was still lost in thought when Wynonna returned with the glass bottle, but she took it gratefully and chugged down a good portion in one go. Wynonna looked pleased until Doc called for her lazy ass to get back to work. 

“Just when I found a new friend,” Wynonna grumbled and strode off again.

Waverly and Nicole where silent. 

Nicole took another sip from the bottle while Waverly studied her face. “I guess that’s the reason Wynonna’s a bit overprotective then,” she suggested darkly.

Nicole finally met Waverly’s eyes and immediately regretted her words. They weren’t soft anymore. “Sorry, Waves, I didn’t mean to react so strongly. It’s just. Well -” She adjusted a bit in her seat. “Champ’s been a real fucking idiot.”

_ I can’t believe you were with him. _

Waverly looked at her hard. Champ  _ had  _ been a real fucking idiot, truthfully. But he had also been her boyfriend for more than a year. He had been sweet and funny and good for her. He had cared for her and she had cared for him back. Had it been love? Probably not, but it had sure felt like it at times. He was her first real boyfriend and she had no regrets about that, even with everything she had come to learn about him lately. 

Waverly and Nicole were both lost in their own internal monologues concerning Waverly’s late boyfriend, completely unaware of the drunken hurricane approaching them rapidly. It landed at their private booth with a destructive crash.

“Heeeeey, wifey!”

Shae came out of nowhere. She toppled halfway over into Nicole’s lap and drew her into her long arms, planting a slabbering kiss on her cheek. Nicole froze, the sizzling heat in her chest from her recent Champ-shaped outburst turning to snow. 

“Hey, Shae,” she managed. She tried to push Shae away from her, off her lap, but she kept clambering herself to the rigid body with a gleeful smile. “Shae -”

“Oh, hey! Waverlyyyyy!” She turned to the young girl who sat with eyes big as tennis balls, giving an unsure smile when she became the focus. Waverly had clearly noticed the pet name, but thankfully didn’t comment on it.

Shae had no idea what kind of mood she had disrupted, but honestly it was just as well. The air around the booth had become severely tense when Champ became the topic.

But with Shae came danger. Nicole tried to defuse the situation with an annoyed “Shae, why’re you so drunk?”

“It’s Thursday, dummy,” said Shae dreamily, looking back at Nicole again. “I always drink on Thursdays.”

That was a lie. Shae usually went out on Fridays, dancing her socks off and drinking just about every sugary cocktail on the menu. She had a strict policy about not going out on weeknights, so that she was in great shape for class the next day. And she was such a fan of lazy Sundays that Saturday was also off the table. Which only left Friday. 

Nicole had joined Shae and her classmates more than once at The Flamingo, where Shae would dance the night away and Nicole would stand by the bar carefully nursing her beer. But this wasn’t Friday. It wasn’t The Flamingo and Shae wasn’t surrounded by her friends.  

“Shae -” Nicole finally succeeded in her efforts to push the woman off of her body. “You never drink on Thursday’s. What’s up?”

Waverly had hesitation written all over her face, but Nicole didn’t see it. This erratic behavior was nothing like Shae, and it made Nicole worried for her best friend.

“It’s new,” Shae explained, swaying just a bit. “I’m drinking on Thursdays because my usual Thursday activity has expired.”

Nicole frowned. What was Shae’s usual Thursday activity? She spent most of her free time studying, but always prioritized exercise, usually climbing. And Amber. Shae’s not-really-girlfriend-yet was carefully calculated into her calendar.

“Is Amber your Thursday activity?”

Shae laughed absurdly, letting her head fall back in the process. Then she grew silent. “She used to be.”

“What happened?” 

Even Waverly was interested, judging by the scrunched up look on her face.

“She went back to Brad.”

The former boyfriend. Shae had proudly announced how she was  _ queering up a straight chick _ only last week, but it seemed Amber’s identity crisis had passed. 

Shae took Nicole’s beer from the table and downed the rest of it, before she slumped to bury her face in Nicole’s chest. Nicole felt her shirt getting damp and it didn’t take long before a choked sob escaped from the girl.

Waverly met Nicole’s worried eyes and gave an understanding smile. “You should go,” she said with a low voice.

Nicole kept looking at her, conflict clear on her face. She was stuck between the two persons she cared for the most - her ex and her crush. 

She had waited for Waverly to contact her all week and now they were finally here and it sucked. She had gotten too angry over Champ, clearly upsetting Waverly, and now her honest-to-god wife was sobbing into her chest over yet another girl. She didn’t want to leave. She wanted to talk to Waverly, to make her understand why Champ made her react the way she did. She wanted Waverly to smile at her again, to make her chest feel all warm and fuzzy like it used to.

But she also wanted to care for her best friend. Shae needed her, and she deserved to be prioritized. 

Nicole nodded, finally. “Thank you,” she mouthed at Waverly, and slowly started to help Shae up on her staggering feet. 

“Can we meet tomorrow?” Nicole asked earnestly when they were ready to go. Shae was bunched in Nicole’s jacket. “Maybe not here?”

Waverly smiled again. “Of course. I’ll text you, alright?”

Nicole nodded gratefully. Waverly would text her. 

\---

Waverly was back in her bed. She had left not long after Nicole had taken her drunk ex home. Doc had driven her in his shiny red chevrolet named “Charlene”. He had played a cassette on the way - some kind of country music - but she hadn’t really paid attention.

She was tired. And suddenly very insecure.

What kind of relationship did Nicole and Shae still have? They seemed awfully close to be ex-girlfriends. And then there was the pet name. Shae had called her “wifey”. It was just a joke, right?

And then there was the fact that Nicole had turned all fire and hell when she heard about Champ wanting her to take an abortion. Nicole had suggested that as an option herself, the very first night they met. Why was she so frickin’ angry now that Champ was the one suggesting it?

_ He hadn’t suggested it, _ a sensible voice in the back of her brain reminded her.  _ He demanded it. _

Nicole had merely told Waverly she had options, that she could do whatever she wanted with the baby. But Champ had  _ told _ her. He didn’t want anything to do with it. He merely wanted it gone.

Waverly was lying on her side, clutching her chest. It hurt when she thought about Champ’s words. It hurt when she remembered his confession about Stephanie and Sonya. It hurt even more when “you begged for it” popped up again in her head, in his cruel voice. But now, when she thought about his request to remove the living thing that was growing inside her stomach, it seared white-hot, like a knife had stabbed her clean through the heart.

Unbeknownst to herself, Waverly had started to grow protective of the thing. She’s only come to realize it now, when Champ’s repulsiveness throbbed clearly in her mind. She had stopped repelling it, and somewhere along the way she had started to care for it instead. The thought of it didn’t feel so foreign anymore.

Waverly rolled onto her back and took a few deep breaths before she slowly drew up her night shirt. She hadn’t touched her stomach even once since she’d taken the test nearly two weeks ago. It hadn’t been an active choice, but it just felt wrong, as if the thing inside her was poison.

With trembling hands, Waverly slid the pads of her fingers over the smooth skin beneath her breasts. Goosebumps erupted under her touch as she drew a slow path towards the lower part of her abdomen. Her fingers came to a halt just above her pubic bone. Waverly took a deep breath and finally planted her palms flat where she knew it would be. 

_ Her baby. _

Suddenly all thoughts and concerns washed away, leaving only a pleasant warmth behind.

When Wynonna came home an hour later she found Waverly sleeping with a calm and steady breath, and a soft hand securely on her belly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me at tumblr @zaxagra


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly goes to talk to the school nurse. It's an okay day at school until she meets Stephanie...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! As always, thanks to my fantastic beta @jorekbyrnison.

Waverly knocked on the door of the nurse’s office. It was in the far end of the west wing corridor, through a tiny waiting room with two chairs and a stack of old magazines. The room was empty, luckily, but she still felt uncomfortable. You didn’t just go to the school nurse - you had to have a reason. Most of the time the reason was STDs or birth control pills, everyone knew that. 

A dark-haired man with kind eyebrows and a two day-beard opened the door. He was dressed in casual grey slacks and a crisp white t-shirt with the school logo on it, and had an inviting smile on his face.

“Hi! I’m Fish.” He reached out his hand to Waverly.

“Eh, I’m Waverly.” She shook it cautiously. 

He stepped aside and held the door open for Waverly to enter. She’d been to the nurse’s office a few times before, usually accompanying cheerleaders with sprained ankles or nose bleeds. And then there was last week when she’d gotten sick and went home, only to miss the big game and make Champ and Stephanie angry with her. Damn, was that only a week ago? 

“Where’s Nurse Marathi?” 

“Oh, she moved away. I’m the new nurse.” He looked at her with a happy smile. 

“Uh -”

“I know what you’re thinking!” he exclaimed with a wink. “A male nurse? Outrageous! But I assure you, we’re just as competent as the other nurses.”

Waverly smiled hesitantly. The nurse - Fish - gestured for her to sit down. The room looked different than she could remember. The desk that used to face the plastic chair where Waverly was currently fidgeting nervously was now pushed against the wall in the corner, so that there was nothing separating the patient from the nurse. Some of the posters were also different - she couldn’t remember Nurse Marathi displaying a rainbow colored one proclaiming “This is a safe space” next to the ones on bullying and genital herpes. 

Fish sat down in front of her and smiled again. He was very close. “So how can I help you, Waverly?”

“Oh! Uhm.” Suddenly she didn’t know what to say, or why she was even here. 

“Is your name really Fish?” she blurted out. 

She could feel her cheeks warming up, but Fish only chuckled. “It is! My name is actually Ambrose Fish, but I always thought Ambrose was quite old-fashioned, don’t you agree?” 

Waverly gave no answer, too flabbergasted from the question that promptly escaped her lips. 

“People just call me Fish,” he concluded with another friendly smile.

Waverly nodded slowly, in her mind considering if “Fish” really was better than “Ambrose”. Ambrose had quite a poetic ring to it, she thought, old-fashioned or not.

“So,” he tried again. “Did you have something you wanted to talk about?”

She looked up at his dark inquisitive eyes and subconsciously squared her shoulders a little. 

“Yes,” she sighed. There was no point in dancing around it. “I’m pregnant.”

Only Fish’s eyebrows gave away his surprise. “I see,” he said, his eyes kind and inviting, instead of judgemental. He kept quiet and waited for Waverly to say something else.

“Yeah, I, uh, I found out like two weeks ago? I took a test.” She looked down at her hands again.

“Do you know how far along you are?”

“Nine weeks and three days.” The words were very clear and very precise, and she could hear Fish chuckling again.

“That’s accurate.”

Waverly shrugged matter-of-factly. Plotting the date of her last menstruation into a pregnancy calculator was one of the first things she had done after taking the test. Her due date was August 30th.

He continued. “Do you know who the father is?”

She nodded. “It’s Champ. Champ Hardy.”

“The ice hockey captain?” 

“Yes…” She lingered on the “s” for a second, letting it fade out.

“Does he know?”

“Yep. He wasn’t happy about it.” She threw a tentative glance at the nurse’s face. He was looking directly at her with the same calm and kind expression as before. She averted her eyes to her hands again. “He, uh, he said I should get rid of it.”

Fish said nothing, and Waverly finally gathered the courage to look at him fully. He was cocking his head to the side, studying the glistening in her eyes. 

“We broke up,” she added.

He finally spoke. “Well, what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.”

He nodded. “Do you want to talk about options?”

“I know what my options are.”

He looked at her, again waiting for her to explain what she knew.

“I can keep it, but you know, then I’d be a single, teenage mother, and I’d have to give up my future and go live in a trailer park or something. Or I can give it away for adoption, but then I’d still have to be pregnant and everyone would _know_ and I’d still have to give birth which would suck. Or I can take an abortion, which will be a small surgery where they go in through my cervix to suck out the foetus.”

She sighed, breathless from her short ramble.

“There’s also a pill that -” Fish started, but Waverly quickly shook her head.

“Medical abortion is only until 7 weeks of gestation, and I’m more than 9, so…”

“Well,” he winked. “It seems you came prepared, Waverly.”

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. She always came prepared. 

“So,” he gestured around the room and to himself. “What can I help you with?”

“Oh.” Waverly didn’t really know. She had just thought it would be wise to go talk to the nurse, to try and figure out what she should do. 

It hadn’t been very helpful talking to Nicole yesterday, with her little outburst about Champ. Waverly had the impression that Nicole had supported an abortion as the best option, but after Waverly told her about Champ’s not so subtle request, it almost looked like she’d changed her mind just to oppose him. Wynonna refused to give her any advice at all, saying it was up to Waverly, and Chrissy was no good either. That resulted in Champ’s vote pro-abortion, and three votes for letting Waverly decide. Needless to say, Waverly had woken up more confused than ever. 

She had hoped that maybe the nurse would say something that made it easier to decide. But Fish was right. She knew the different paths she could choose. It was up to her now.

Fish abruptly stood up and walked to a sideboard. There were shelves with books and binders over it, and racks with all kinds of brochures (“Are you avoiding school?”, “Do you ever think about suicide?”, “Safe ways to have sex”, and so on). He opened one of the drawers and pulled out several small plastic containers with caps in different colors. He settled on a cylindrical one with a yellow lid and turned around to face Waverly. She looked curiously from him to the container.

“I guess you’ve had unprotected sex?”

Waverly looked at him for several seconds before answering. “I guess so.”

He handed her the container and instructed her to go collect a urine sample. She was only slightly embarrassed when he told her it was important to “hold your labia apart with your fingers” before pointing her to the door marked “Toilet”. She returned with the full container securely in a brown bag and sat down again on the chair. 

“Great,” he said as he took the bag from her. “I’ll send it to the lab and they’ll test it for several of the most common STDs.”

She nodded. She didn’t _think_ she had an STD but she knew chlamydia in women was usually asymptomatic, so taking the test probably didn’t hurt. Who knew what Champ had been spreading around. Fish looked like he knew he didn’t have to explain the reasoning behind the test to this particular patient - she had quickly given the impression that her knowledge was broad and thorough. 

Fish gave another one of his kind smiles that made his eyes crinkle. “Do you have anyone to talk to about this?”

“My sister,” Waverly said quickly. “And some friends.”

“No parents?”

Waverly shook her head. “I don’t have any parents.”

He cleared his throat, regretting that he didn’t look her up in the student register while she was in the little toilet stall. But she didn’t seem fazed. Waverly Earp was a tough cookie, alright.

“No other guardians?”

“My Aunt.” Waverly suddenly realised she hadn’t spoken to Gus this entire week. Had Wynonna talked to her? “But I haven’t told her.”

“Maybe it would be good to talk to her about it?” he suggested.

“Maybe.” It was probably the right thing to do. But maybe Gus would be super mad. 

“If you do want an abortion,” Fish started suddenly, “they recommend to do it in the first trimester. It’s not too late if you decide on it after that,” he added quickly, “but they do recommend it.”

“I know.” Waverly had read all about the rules and procedures in the safety of her bedroom last night. “I’ve only got two weeks left to decide.”

Fish reached forward and put his hand on Waverly’s knee. But then he froze, suddenly looking unsure - was it okay to touch a student like this? But his hand was warm and grounding and Waverly didn’t think it was weird. He shrugged the uncomfortable feeling away.

“Take the time you need,” he said gently. “I’ll be here if you want to talk again.”

Waverly smiled weakly. “Thank you.”

“And whatever you decide, I can help you get in touch with the right people, okay?” 

Her face obviously revealed that she didn’t understand what he meant, so he explained further. 

“If you want an abortion I can refer you to the hospital, and if you decide you want to keep it, I can put you in touch with a good obstetrician or a midwife, and they can set up appointments and tests and all that. Whatever you want, okay?”

Waverly nodded thankfully. 

“Now,” he removed his hand from Waverly’s knee with a last reassuring squeeze. “Go to class, and we’ll talk later.”

\---

It was a good day, all things considered. 

Waverly didn’t feel as tired as before and the expected morning sickness didn’t occur at the usual 9 o’clock bell. Her talk with Fish had been comforting. He hadn’t really told her anything new, but it was nice to have talked things over a bit. To have someone on the outside to discuss all this with. He’d been really calm and considerate too. Waverly didn’t know Nurse Marathi that well, but she always thought she seemed like a strict woman, and she’d been afraid to reveal her mistakes to her. But Fish had only smiled and been totally objective about the whole thing, which was a relief.

Professor Beaufort took her aside at the beginning of French class, as the other students started reading an extract from Simone de Beauvoir’s _Le Sang des autres_ . Waverly had already read the book (in English) last Summer, but preferred _Le deuxième Sexe_ , a feminist classic. She told professor Beaufort as such as they were walking down the hallway to his office, and he only chuckled, proud of his star student. She sat down at his desk and found the test sheet waiting for her on.

“Merci, professor, for letting me redo the test. I know you don’t usually do that.”

“You were not feeling well, mademoiselle Waverly. It is only reasonable.” He winked and closed the door behind him.

The test was easy. She was finished long before time was up and returned to the classroom to join in on the discussion about Charles de Gaulles and the French resistance during World War II. Professor Beaufort seemed relieved to see her there, to bring some substance to the discussion. French wasn’t considered a popular course by her fellow students.

When Chrissy and Waverly arrived at the girls’ wardrobes before PE, Stephanie was already there, telling everyone how she would soon be taking over as head cheerleader because Waverly couldn’t do her job anymore. Rachel, who was also on the cheer squad, had a big grin on her face that quickly dissolved as soon as she caught sight of Waverly. She nudged Stephanie to shut up, but she only spoke higher.

“Look what a slacker she’s become now that Champ dumped her lazy ass. She hasn’t been at cheer practice at all since things started to go sideways.”

Steph was lying out of her ass and she knew it. Waverly had missed exactly _two_ cheer practices and _one_ game in her _entire_ high school career. Coincidentally, they had been in the last two weeks. How many had Stephanie missed, she wondered idly. But the fact didn’t make Waverly strong and angry, as it would have at any other time. It only made her weak and ashamed.

Waverly walked to her locker with her head down and all the girls around them turned to watch her shameful stride. Suddenly there was a quiet whisper that hadn’t been there before. All the happiness from before started to evaporate and Waverly just wanted to sink through the linoleum floor. She opted to hide behind the metal of her locker door, feeling the glances and whispers crawling under her delicate skin. This was what the student mass was thinking now, that she was incompetent and she didn’t care. She might as well tell Headmaster Moody to pick someone else to be Class President. 

“Hey, Stephanie!”

Waverly turned around as she heard Chrissy’s voice breaking through the low buzz of whispers.

“Didn’t you spell Blue Devils wrong on Wednesday?”

The locker room fell quiet. Waverly had no idea what Chrissy was talking about. 

“What?” came Stephanie’s sharp voice through the tense silence. 

“Yeah, at the game. Didn’t you spell it B-L-U-E D-E-I-L-S?”

The spelling cheer was the most basic, easy cheer. If Stephanie had screwed that one up, it was truly a remarkable feat.

Someone started to snicker, but they quickly shut up when Stephanie eyed them viciously. She started towards Chrissy with a sour face and her nostrils flaring. Chrissy - surprisingly - stood her ground, determination sparking in her eyes. 

“I didn’t,” Stephanie snapped at her when she was close. But she was trailing nervous paths over the faces of the girls around them, effectively showing off her weakness.

“Do you know how to spell _head cheerleader_? ‘Cus that’s a tough one.” 

Chrissy was showing off a side of her that had never before been seen in public. A trickle of pride disturbed Waverly’s nervous heart.

But then Stephanie changed tactics. 

“You’re back with your little friend now that she’s not allowed to sit with us anymore?” she sneered at Chrissy. 

It hit just right. Chrissy moved towards her quickly but Waverly grabbed her arm to stop her.

“Chrissy, don’t,” she said.

“Yeah, listen to little Miss Bossypants.”

Just as Stephanie turned around to grin at the other girls, Waverly gave her a big push. It wasn’t enough to tumble her over, but it was enough to make her really, really angry.

“You bitch!”

Waverly wasn’t violent. She’d never hit anyone before, and she wasn’t planning on ever doing it either. But she was strong, and there was something about the red patches on Stephanie Jones’ chest and the cruelty of her cheating face that made Waverly want to punch her right in the tit. 

But she didn’t. She would certainly get in trouble for it and what was even the point. She’d only regret it later.

Stephanie didn’t approach her either. She probably knew that Waverly would win if it came to a proper fight. She just stood there, four meters from Waverly, with a heaving chest and her fists balled. 

“You always have to control everyone,” she snarled. “No wonder Champ dumped you.”

“I dumped him,” Waverly growled back. She was seething now. She knew Champ would never tell the truth about their breakup. Nothing that could bruise his pride. Instead he and Stephanie had trampled all over Waverly’s reputation, pushing her down in the mud for everyone to see. 

“Yeah, sure you did,” laughed Stephanie. “There aren’t exactly a bunch of dudes lining up to date you.”

Stephanie was so _mean_. 

Waverly was just about to sneer something back at the bitch, but then Coach Carter knocked on the door and yelled for the girls to hurry because they were all late. 

Everyone scattered to their lockers to change into gym clothes and put their hair in ponytails and suddenly they had all left out the door, Stephanie with them. Waverly’s hands were still shaking when she and Chrissy where the last ones to enter the gymnasium. 

Coach Carter had planned a lesson of circuit training. After a 10 minute warm up he split them all into groups. Chrissy and Waverly were separated, but Robin joined Waverly to do push ups in one corner. She kept her eye on Stephanie who was coincidentally paired up with Champ, and she felt gallons of scorching anger pumping through her veins, fueling the muscles in her arms and chest. She didn’t notice the awe on Robin’s face as he failed to keep up with her steady push-ups. 

Champ and Stephanie were talking instead of doing the actual exercises they were assigned. Stephanie was throwing Waverly the occasional scowl but Champ never looked at her. He looked pale and tired. Beat. But then Stephanie said something and he laughed, just as Coach blew his whistle.

Waverly got up quickly and marched to the next station, her eyes still trained on the duo. She was filled with hate, her jaw clenched and her hands curled into tight fists. Robin was too preoccupied with figuring out which dumbells where the right weight to notice Waverly’s angry stance as she took to the next task.

Champ and Stephanie were in front of the ropes now. They weren’t allowed to use them anymore, not after some kid had fallen down years ago and injured himself. But for some reason they were still there, and lots of students took bets on who climbed them best. Waverly had climbed them only one time, before cheer practice. Champ had challenged her, and she had quickly found the right technique. She beat him to the top and he was grumpy the rest of the week. 

Stephanie was pushing at him now, to try and get him to climb. Champ took a quick look around and grabbed the rope. Coach was preoccupied with telling Jeremy to position his elbows closer while doing the plank. 

Champ was slow at first, but slowly started to gain momentum. Waverly knew she could beat him, she was stronger and lighter than him. 

Without thinking she stalked over to the ropes and grabbed the one next to Champ. She pulled herself up the first six feet or so and then expertly hooked her foot around the rope to push her body further up. Stephanie shrieked a bewildered “Waverly!”, but she just kept climbing. Soon she was level with a confused Champ. They locked eyes for a short second before reaching up with great speed - competition now in full gear.

Waverly could hear the blood pumping in her ears, could hear Robin cheering her on, could hear Coach calling them down. She ignored all of it. Her chest was heaving faster and her hands were getting sweaty, but she championed on. She would be damned if Champ reached the top before she did. 

But then she noticed how the sound of her classmates had started to fade away and there were dark spots appearing in her vision. She tried blinking them away but they only grew bigger, until her sight was almost entirely gone. Suddenly she felt lightheaded. Dizzy, even a tiny bit nauseous. Like her mind was slipping away. 

And then she fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr @zaxagra!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly wakes up after her fall. Her head and body hurts, and Fish brings her to the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my friend and beta @jorekbyrnison and also my wonderful fiancé for checking out those commas. Sorry for the medical talk in this chapter!

Waverly’s head hurt. There was a dull throbbing behind her right ear. Her shoulder felt sore too. In fact, her entire right side was aching. She was lying on her much better left side, with her bad hand resting lifelessly on her hip, stiff and numb and painful. She tried moving it but quickly gave up as the pain increased tenfold. 

She groaned.

“Waverly?”

It was a familiar voice. Kind. Calm. A man. She had difficulty placing it. But it was definitely familiar. 

“Oh my God, Waverly, are you okay?”

This voice she definitely knew. It belonged to her friend, Chrissy.

Waverly slowly opened her eyes. Her eyelids felt unusually heavy, but she managed to make a thin slit between her eyelashes, just big enough that she could see through it. 

It took a second before the haze thinned and she was able to see two faces in front of her. Chrissy was there, of course, but also Fish. The nurse. 

She was lying on an examination table. From her position she could just see the door to Fish’s office, where she had been only hours before. 

Chrissy looked scared, but Fish gave a comforting smile.

“How do you feel?” he asked gently.

She didn’t feel good, exactly. An entire half of her body was aching profusely, and her vision was still slightly blurry. She groaned again.

“You fell down the ropes, do you remember?”

He was right. She’d been climbing the rope in a heated competition against Champ. She’d almost reached the top before her hearing had suddenly disappeared, and her vision with it. 

“I fainted,” she croaked, her voice weak.

“That’s right.” Fish nodded. Some of his concern lifted. 

He started to examine her. First he shone a flashlight right in her eyes, which was too bright and very uncomfortable. Then he started lifting her right arm and feeling her wrist, which was painful. After a few minutes of picking and probing at her sore body, he kneeled down in front of her again.

“Waverly,” he started again. “I don’t think you have broken anything, but I want you to go to the hospital, okay?”

Waverly swallowed. Chrissy softly trailed her fingers over Waverly’s forehead, smoothing down her messed up hair.

“You remember what you told me earlier?” Fish asked knowingly.

Waverly’s right arm hurt like a motherfucking bitch, but some instinct made her move towards her belly, managing to press her sore fingers to the side of her lower stomach. She could see Fish’s eyes following the movement. When his gaze landed back on Waverly’s face it was filled with concern. 

“I’ll drive you.” He got up and walked to the door to his office. 

Just then Waverly noticed a third person in the room. Champ was sitting hunched on the examination table opposite from her, feet dangling freely and his hands clutching his face. His eyes were trained on Waverly through the gaps between his fingers. He looked terrified. 

Chrissy saw Waverly looking at him. She swallowed heavily. “He wanted to carry you to the nurse,” she explained through clenched teeth. Apparently she didn’t think that made him quite the hero he presented himself as.

Champ kept staring at her, and Waverly kept staring back, but neither one of them said anything. When Fish returned with his jacket on and car keys in hand, he completely ignored the boy. He went to help Waverly to her feet, which was a slow process, but ultimately successful. Her hip hurt a bit every time she put her weight on it, but it didn’t ache as bad as her wrist, which she had to hold against her chest. 

Fish helped her put on a simple sling where she could rest the painful limb, and then they were off. Chrissy ran to the locker room to gather Waverly’s things and caught up with them at the main entrance. She settled in the backseat of Fish’s red Saab 9-3 after helping Waverly into the front passenger seat. 

As they were driving, Fish told Waverly he had called her Aunt Gus. 

“Shit nuggets,” was Waverly’s only reply. 

She asked Chrissy to call Wynonna, but her sister didn’t answer, so she just left a voicemail.

Once at the hospital, everything moved very quickly. Fish did most of the talking, explaining her fall and also her pregnancy. A young doctor came to examine her, subjecting Waverly to another round of painful prodding. Her wrist was the main concern.

“We want to do an x-ray of your wrist,” the doctor told her as he came back to the small, sterile room where Waverly was waiting together with Chrissy. Fish was out getting coffee.

“But I’m pregnant,” Waverly said confused. She knew x-rays could damage the foetus. 

The doctor explained how they would take care so that only her hand and wrist were exposed to the radiation. “It is perfectly safe for you and your baby.”

Waverly finally nodded and agreed to the procedure, her left hand once again clutching her belly as if to protect it from harm. 

When she returned to the sterile examination room, Wynonna had arrived. She jumped up from her chair and lunged for Waverly. “Oh, baby girl,” she cooed as she wrapped her arms gently around her baby sister, taking care not to squeeze the damaged body too tight. “Are you alright?” she asked.

With Wynonna’s concern came Waverly’s grief. She’d been strong since she woke up at Fish’s office, but now Wynonna was there to be strong instead. 

Waverly went limp in Wynonna’s arms. It didn’t take long before she was heaving and crying, letting all of her concerns wash over her big sister. Wynonna gently guided them to sit down on the examination table and let her sister’s shivering body rest against her chest. 

Fish returned with a cup of coffee, which he had bought for himself, but Wynonna reached out her hand to accept the cup and he just gave it to her with a bewildered face. Wynonna thanked him for it and for taking care of her sister. “But, uh, who are you?”

“I’m Fish, the school nurse.”

Wynonna couldn’t stop herself from laughing for a second - about his name being Fish or about him being the nurse? - before she saw his raised eyebrows. She cleared her throat awkwardly. “Oh. Well, thank you.”

He excused himself from the room and offered to give Chrissy a ride home, which she accepted. And then the Earp sisters were alone, surrounded by naked, white walls, drowning in Waverly’s sorrow. 

“Oh, Wavey,” Wynonna whispered softly. She kept stroking the disheveled hair and occasionally kissed her forehead. Then she noticed Waverly’s hand resting over her navel, and she understood. She laid her own hand on top of Waverly’s and started rubbing her knuckles. “It’s all gonna be okay, I promise you. It will all be okay.”

She kept repeating the words until the uncontrolled breaths calmed down into an even rhythm. 

The doctor came in with the x-ray results. Her wrist was not broken (“You hear that, baby girl? Your hand is fine!”), but heavily bruised. Waverly should wear the sling for a week or so, and a wrist brace for a bit longer, until it was healed. 

“A nurse will come and help you with the brace.” The doctor was already reaching for the door when Wynonna spoke up.

“Uhm, can you tell us if everything is alright with the -” Wynonna glanced at her hand on Waverly’s stomach. “With the baby?”

The doctor smiled tiredly. “I’ll call OB/GYN.”

\---

Waverly somehow fell asleep as they waited, while Wynonna rocked her slowly in her arms. It must have been an hour before an orderly finally came with a wheelchair, and Wynonna nudged Waverly awake. Waverly knew she could walk just fine, but her legs felt like jelly when she stood up from the table, and was relieved for the transport. 

They walked in silence through several corridors and took a lift to the obstetrics department, where they were shown to a new room with a new examination table. This one had a nauseating pink color and two of those turny things to put your legs in. A whole new fear edged itself into the pit of Waverly’s stomach as she realized she would have to put _her_ legs in them.

“You’ve never been to the gynecologist?” Wynonna asked gently, with a glance at Waverly’s big eyes. 

Waverly shook her head. 

“It’s kinda fun actually,” Wynonna revealed jumping up on the table. “Look, you just put your legs like this.” She had managed to hook one of her legs into the stirrups, but was struggling with the other one, as the thing kept turning out of her reach. Her body was scooching further and further down until Wynonna was stuck with one foot in the chair, the other helplessly flailing around in the air, and her hands clutching the edge of the device to prevent her from falling off it. 

It was a relief when someone finally arrived, looking at Wynonna with a raised eyebrow. “You’re the patient?”

“Ehm,” said Wynonna, freezing in her awkward position. 

The woman - the doctor maybe? - sighed exaggeratingly and moved to help Wynonna out of the chair. She navigated the leg rests with practised ease and had the offender back on her feet in no time. The paper sheet that covered the chair was all wrinkled and torn in several places. The woman sighed again and tore it off before spraying disinfectant all over the fake leather and quickly wiping it down. She finally turned to Waverly.

“So _you_ are the patient?”

Waverly nodded quickly. The seance with Wynonna hadn’t really put her mind to rest. Rather the opposite. 

But then the woman broke out a reassuring smile and her entire face changed. Suddenly she seemed like the most comforting person in the world. She reached her hand forward, shaking Waverly’s with a reassuring squeeze. “I’m Doctor Würtz.”

“I’m Waverly.”

Doctor Würtz smiled at her, studying the nervous face. “We’re not gonna do anything yet, alright? I just want to talk a bit first.”

She sat down at the desk against the wall, clicking around on the computer for a bit before turning around to Waverly. Wynonna had pushed her and the wheelchair closer to where the doctor was sitting and was now standing sheepishly behind Waverly.

“And you are a friend?” Doctor Würtz’s eyes turned suspicious every time she looked at Wynonna. With good reason too.

“Her sister.” Wynonna stretched out her hand. “Wynonna.”

“Okay, Wynonna. You can sit there, alright?” She pointed at another chair. “Don’t touch anything.”

Then she turned to Waverly and started her interview.

“You’re pregnant.”

Waverly nodded.

“How far?”

“Nine weeks, three days.”

She looked up from the computer screen, clearly impressed. “I’m impressed.”

And then she started asking all these questions, about Waverly’s menstrual cycle, her pregnancy symptoms, her medical history, and so on. She then asked more specifically about Waverly’s fall today. She was tapping away violently on the keyboard as Waverly tried to answer as best as she could, until she was finally satisfied. 

“Okay, Waverly. Now comes the examination.”

Waverly braced herself. 

“Have you decided yet, if you want to keep the baby?”

They hadn’t touched upon that aspect of it at all, but Waverly figured it was her age that gave it away. She shook her head, her hand once again moving to her belly.

“The first prenatal check is usually around this time. And well, now that you’re here anyway, do you want to do the entire examination, just in case you decide to keep it?”

Waverly considered it shortly, finding no flaw in that line of reasoning. “Sure.”

“Okay, that will include an ultrasound, a pap smear, a urine sample and some blood work.” She swivelled around in her chair and started pulling out different sheets of paper from the desk, all color coded in pastel shades. Meanwhile, Waverly’s face had become alarmingly pale. 

Doctor Würtz pointed to the folding screen by the exam chair. “You can take off your shorts and underwear.”

Waverly nodded. _This is it, Waves. Time for this lady to probe around in your vagina._

Doctor Würtz turned around again, realising Wynonna was still there. “Do you want your sister to wait outside?”

“No!” said Waverly quickly, alarmed. “No, can she stay?”

A smile. “Of course.”

Wynonna helped her over to the screen, where she took of her gym shorts and underwear. It felt weird to be naked only from the waist down. Like Donald Duck. Waverly felt exposed in a whole new way as she moved to climb on the exam chair. It didn’t help that Wynonna was standing in just the right spot to see Waverly’s naked butt as she pulled herself onto the chair. It wasn’t hard getting into it with some guidance from the doctor (“Your foot here, and your hand. And then just scooch down a little. Perfect.”). The exposure was definitely worse. 

Wynonna, thankfully, came to stand right by her head, grasping Waverly’s hand. It wasn’t clear which sister felt more awkward in the situation. 

Waverly could see the doctor preparing her instruments, laying them all on a tray with a blue paper sheet. The ultrasound machine was on Waverly’s left side, opposite from Wynonna.

“First I’m just gonna take a look, alright? I’m going to insert this speculum -” She showed her the instrument. “- into your vagina, and then I’m going to use this brush -” She held it up. “-to do the pap smear.”

Waverly squeezed Wynonna’s hand and abruptly held her breath, prepared for the discomfort. 

Doctor Würtz gently tapped her knee to get her attention. “I want you to breathe, Waverly. The more relaxed you are, the easier all of this will be.” 

Waverly nodded, releasing her breath and trying to let her lungs do their thing.

“It may be a bit uncomfortable, but you just tell me, okay? You tell me and we’ll take a break.”

It was over pretty quickly. The speculum was cold, but slipped in with no problem at all, the expected resistance and painful pull thankfully not a subject. It only took a second to get the pap smear done, and then the speculum was gone and Waverly could breathe easily again.

But then the doctor told her they would do the ultrasound _transvaginally_ instead of just putting the probe on Waverly’s stomach as she expected (something about how far along she was), which meant another round of constrained breathing and anxiety. But then Doctor Würtz pointed at the screen and Waverly’s heart stopped.

It was all black and white lines going criss-cross over the screen, with a million shades of grey to fill in the blanks. But right at the edge of the black sac that was unmistakably Waverly’s uterus, there was a tiny grey shape, like a peanut in its shell. 

“It looks like a shrimp,” Wynonna commented, her eyes just as bright as Waverly’s. 

They were both so busy looking at the peanut-shrimp that they didn’t notice the doctor turning a knot on the machine, when suddenly: _woosh-woosh-woosh-woosh_.

"Aaaand that's the heart," Doctor Würtz said, turning a knob on the machine to get a clearer image.

Waverly’s baby’s tiny heart, ticking away like a proper champion. 

The doctor was pushing different buttons, making lines and numbers appear on the screen.

“It looks like you are a bit further along. I would estimate it to be 10 weeks now.”

Waverly nodded, still gazing at the image of her child.

“Everything seems to be just fine, Waverly.” 

Doctor Würtz smiled as she withdrew the probe, making the image of her lima bean disappear. The loss was instant, leaving a bean-shaped hole in Waverly’s heart. But then the doctor produced a photograph from the machine which Waverly accepted in awe. 

It was her baby, her child. 

“We now call it a foetus, instead of an embryo. It’s about the size of a cherry.”

A cherry. A baby cherry. It was amazing.

“You can put on your clothes again.”

When Waverly was dressed and back in the wheelchair, the photograph still safely in her hands, a million worries came flooding back. 

“So, my fall didn’t do anything?”

“It doesn’t seem like it.” Doctor Würtz considered it for a moment. “But I’d like to keep you here overnight, for observation. Just to be safe.”

“Okay.” 

“And you have to stay healthy, alright? Being pregnant is stressful. You should do everything you can to stay healthy.”

Waverly looked at the picture again. “I will.”

\---

Waverly was given a bed in a single room. It was starting to get late, the window showing the darkness spreading outside. Wynonna had gone out to find some rations, leaving Waverly alone with her thoughts. 

The edges of the photograph still securely in her hand were starting to crinkle a bit so she finally let it go, placing it carefully on the nightstand. 

A lot had happened today. She thought back to how it all started, with the conversation with Nurse Fish and her French test. Chrissy standing up to Stephanie, climbing the ropes to prove a point to Champ. X-rays and pap smears and needles. She’d peed in a cup _twice_. It had been quite the roller coaster.

She was still wearing her blue and white gym clothes. A nurse had left one of those long hospital nightgowns that were tied in the back on the chair next to her backpack. She carefully slid out of the bed and padded to the chair. She had to remove her sling before she could wriggle out of her shirt and sports bra. It was quite difficult with only one hand. With some effort, she managed to pull her sore wrist through the arm of the gown. The cotton was stiff from being washed too many times, and it went all the way down to her shins. It was impossible to try and tie the strings at the back so she just left it open. Then she searched around in her backpack were Chrissy had thrown all her stuff from her locker and found her phone. 

Waverly padded back to the bed and slid under the white duvet. She had a million messages and missed phone calls. Jeremy had sent her a text asking if she was okay, Chrissy had sent her two texts to ask for updates, even Champ had sent her one - with very few words - to wish her well. Then there were thirteen missed calls from Gus, as well as four texts. The last one sent only minutes ago, asking her which room she had. She ignored them all.

Because there were also three texts from Nicole. The first one asked if Waverly wanted to meet up, the second one apologized for Shae’s behavior yesterday, and the third one asked if everything was okay because she hadn’t heard from her yet.

Waverly quickly started tapping away on her phone when there was a brief knock on the door. A nurse came in, followed by Aunt Gus. She looked incredibly worried. Her face was almost grey, and the creases between her eyebrows were deeper than Waverly had ever seen them. 

“Oh, Waverly,” she said, and rushed forward to hug the girl in the gown. Waverly had been so afraid to involve Gus into all of this and had postponed calling her the last couple of weeks (except the one call where she only cried and cried and got no sensible word out). But it felt nice to be back in Gus’ arms. 

On the outside, Gus McCready didn’t really look like a very caring person, with her stern features and hawk-like eyes. But her heart had always been big enough to envelope Waverly. 

“I came as soon as I could.” Gus’ brusque voice was mixed with something that wasn’t usually there. Could there be… tears?

Sure enough, when Gus released her tight hold on Waverly her eyes looked wet. 

“I’m okay, Gus,” Waverly told her, the guilt echoing through her chest.

“Oh, honey, why didn’t you tell me?”

Gus sat down on the edge of the bed and grabbed a tight hold of Waverly’s hand. Waverly had expected to find judgement in that stern face, but she could only detect worry. It was impossible to keep looking into those dark all-seeing eyes. It was much easier for Waverly to let her gaze drift to where her hand rested in Gus’.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” Gus repeated, softer this time, almost like a whisper.

In some way Waverly was glad that she hadn’t been the one to tell Gus, but she felt guilty nonetheless.

“I dunno,” she admitted. 

Gus squeezed her hand. “We can talk about it tomorrow, alright?”

Waverly nodded thankfully.

Just then Wynonna clumsily nudged open the door, her arms filled with chocolate bars, soda cans and tiny bags of chips. There was a bag of wine gums between her teeth. She walked up to the bed and dropped everything on the duvet, over Waverly’s legs. 

“Hey, Gus,” she said cheerfully, ignoring the scowl her aunt sent her. “You hungry, Waves?” And she tore open the wrapper of a Mars bar with her teeth and shoved the entire thing into her big mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr @zaxagra!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly wakes up at the hospital. Gus and Wynonna are there, and so is Nicole. She finally talks to Gus about her child, and starts to figure some things out. Then she learns a thing about Nicole, and finally Wynaught is born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to my lovely friend and beta @jorekbyrnison!

You would think you’d be allowed to sleep as long as you want when you’re in hospital. But no.

Waverly was abruptly woken up when a nurse burst into her room just before eight. The nurse, a slightly overweight woman in her fifties, threw open the curtains to bathe the young patient in sharp morning light. She put a basin with lukewarm, soapy water and a washcloth on the nightstand. She asked Waverly how she felt without really waiting for an answer, and announced that the doctor would come see her on his rounds in an hour. And then she was gone.

Waverly rubbed her eyes and sat up in bed, shook by the rude awakening. 

A second later her bladder urged her out of bed. Her legs felt stiff as she quickly moved to the little toilet adjacent to the room. Her entire body was aching dully, as though she had lifted weights for the first time ever. 

When she came back to bed, she carefully inspected her bruised arm, bending her fingers and wrist. It still hurt like a bitch, but the brace felt good. Then she reached out to the soap water and slowly ran the scratchy cloth over her face, neck and arms, hesitating slightly before she lifted the nightgown to wash her belly as well. She noticed several patches of red and purple on the right side of her body. Her shoulder had the biggest one. The bruise was speckled with tiny red blotches, and a soft shade of purple was beginning to appear. It wasn’t exactly pretty, but it didn’t really hurt either.

A nurse came in with a tray of food. Some simple cheese sandwiches, orange juice, a banana and a cup of red Jell-O. The absence of nausea yesterday was in stark contrast to how she felt today, making the meal less tempting. She drank the juice and ate about half of the banana, and saved the Jell-O to give to Wynonna later. 

Finally, the doctor came - a man this time. He was about half an hour later than the nurse had promised her, but that’s how hospitals work, right?

He was flipping through her chart, his eyes scanning the pages as he went. Then he looked up and smiled. “Everything seems to be in order, miss -” He looked down at the chart. “- Earp.”

“So I can go home?”

“Probably. Do you feel alright?”

“Only a little bruised.” She showed the red area on her shoulder. 

He nodded. “It will probably take a few days.”

He did a quick exam of her stomach, palpating lightly at first, and then deeper. “Have you had any pain in your belly? Or noticed blood in your urine?”

Waverly shook her head, and he seemed satisfied.

“I’ll just finish the paperwork and then you can go home.”

He was halfway out the door when he remembered something. “Oh, there’s someone here to see you. Family? I can send them in.”

Waverly smiled. “Thank you.”

\---

A minute later, Wynonna sat in Waverly’s bed, happily eating the Jell-O, while Waverly told them what the Doctor had said. Gus nodded, listening carefully, but then Waverly had nothing more to tell and a tense silence filled the room.

“Oh, shit,” Wynonna said after a few awkward seconds, looking from the stern face of her aunt to the mortified look in her sister’s eyes. “I’m out!”

And then Waverly was left alone with Gus, and she would finally have to explain.

“So, uh,” she started, swallowing down her fears. Gus said nothing, patiently waiting for her to begin. “I took a test, last Sunday, and it, eh, it was positive?” 

Gus nodded and sat down on the chair at her foot end. Still no answer. 

“And Wynonna has been super nice too, I don’t want you to be mad at her.” Waverly’s nervous voice picked up the pace and started rambling. “And you know, I’ve thought a lot about what I should do, because, well, you know. It’s kind of a life-changing thing, right, having a kid? And I told Champ, and he’s out, and so I have to do it alone if I’m gonna do it. But, well, I can get an abortion as well, but then yesterday, well…” 

She took the picture still on her nightstand and held it out to Gus. “It just became very real yesterday,” she concluded in a small voice.

Gus studied the picture for a bit, her thin lips relaxing into an almost invisible smile. Then she turned her gaze up to look at Waverly again. Damn, those scrutinizing eyes.

“But why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, just like she had yesterday.

Waverly shook her head. “It was just hard. Everything with Champ and… I had all these thoughts and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have a plan.” She was used to having a plan. “I didn’t want you to be angry with me…”

Gus stood up and settled on the side of her bed. “I’m not angry with you, Waverly, I just wished you’d have told me. I could have helped, you know. Figure things out.”

“I know.” Waverly turned her cheek into the palm Gus offered. “I’m sorry.”

For a minute, Waverly thought she was off the hook, but then Gus had to ask the inevitable question. Waverly felt like she’d explained the mechanics behind conception a million times already this week.

“But, Waverly, how could this happen? I thought you were being careful.”

“I was!” Waverly exclaimed, looking undignified. “I  _ was  _ being careful.”

She had never had  _ the talk _ with her Aunt, both of them in silent agreement that Waverly’s clever brain would figure that one out all by herself. And she had, and she trusted Gus knew it too. Her aunt knew Waverly was sleeping over at Champ’s regularly, so she must have suspected they were doing it too.

“It just happened,” Waverly said, not meeting her Gus’ eyes.

A beat, and then Gus sighed.

“I know, sweetie.” 

And the inevitable conversation was over - quite successfully, in Waverly’s opinion. 

And then they were on to the next one.

“So, what do you want to do?” Gus settled more comfortable in the bed, resting her hand on Waverly’s thigh.

“I haven’t decided.” 

Gus nodded, as if to tell her to go on.

“But there are three options.” 

She counted on her fingers. 

“One, get an abortion, continue my life the way I planned, get into college or university, and then take it from there. Two, remain pregnant, but give the baby up for adoption. But then I’d still have to go through the whole pregnancy thing, and I think it would be really hard to just give it away after I spent so much time with it.” 

Her hand automatically went to her belly again, the act not going unnoticed by Gus. 

“And finally, option three: keep the baby, and become a teenage single mother, and have my entire life turned upside down. I probably won’t be able to study, and what would I do with finances? Where would we live? And what would Champ say?”

Gus squeezed her knee. “We’ll deal with all of that, if that’s what you want to do.”

Waverly swallowed, feeling a prickling in her eyes. She tried to blink it away. 

“Aren’t you mad?” she piped again with a tiny voice. She had to be sure.

“I just want you to be happy, Waverly. And I know you’ve got this intricate map of your life in your bedroom, colors and all, but sometimes the best things in life aren’t the things we’ve planned for or worked for. Sometimes the best things in life are the surprises it throws us. About what we want.  _ Who  _ we want.”

Waverly took her aunt’s hand and gripped it tightly. The prickling in her eye turned into a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"Hell, I never thought I would marry Curtis. But he gave me the best years of my life. And you, my little angel, I never thought gaining custody over you would give me so much joy. I love you, Waverly, and I will support anything you set your mind to. Even if it is becoming a single, teenage mother.” She winked playfully at the last words.

Waverly laughed through her tears and leaned forward into Gus’ embrace. 

“I think I know what I want,” Waverly whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

“I think you do too.”

After a few silent minutes in the safety of Gus’ arms, she declared that she would see if the doctor had prepared Waverly’s release papers yet. 

“And I’ll get that damn sister of yours too.”

Wynonna had once again had a meeting with the vending machine, this time only bringing two bags of M&M’s sans peanuts. She was also balancing two cups with steam coming out of the lid. 

“Coffee for me and tea for you, you little nut.”

Waverly immediately burned her tongue.

“Way to go,” Wynonna grinned but then did the exact same thing with her own drink. “Shit.”

She tried to blow on her own tongue - a difficult task at best - when she remembered. “Oh, bee-tee-dubs, that ginger pop tart is waiting in the hallway.”

Waverly looked up. “Nicole?”

Wynonna hummed in agreement, still nursing her scorched tongue.

“Can you, uh, let her in?” Waverly asked, a sudden excitement jolting through her.

Wynonna started muttering about her just wanting to visit her sick sister in the hospital while being constantly bossed around. But she went to get Nicole nonetheless, and then sat down in the chair on top of Waverly’s clothes from yesterday and sulkily chewed on her candy.

Nicole looked incredibly concerned, her eyebrows scrunched up in adorable worry. “Uh, hey,” she started, unsure, as she approached Waverly’s bed. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Waverly smiled, ignoring Wynonna’s rude chewing. “I fell down from the ropes in PE yesterday, but everything is alright. I mean, with the baby. I just got a bruised wrist.” She showed the limb. 

Nicole’s eyebrow quirked slightly at the throwaway mention of the “baby” (Waverly had actively avoided that word until now), but visibly relaxed with relief. “I was so worried,” she said softly, so that Wynonna wouldn’t hear it. 

Waverly smiled again and gestured for the redhead to sit on her bed. Then she immediately reached for those warm hands. Sure enough, Nicole’s thumb started tracing delicate patterns in Waverly’s palm.

“I’m sorry I didn’t text you yesterday. I was kinda busy.” She grinned again, shyly. Like she had a secret she was about to share with the woman who had quickly become so very close, who occupied most of her brainspace - which was impressive with all the other stuff going on.

“No problem,” Nicole replied with a squeeze of her hand. “You’re sure everything is, you know -”

“Yeah, the doctors said so.” Waverly turned to find the photograph that Gus had put back on the nightstand. “Look.”

Nicole took it and looked at it in awe. 

Waverly was practically beaming. “It’s my peanut.” 

“Shrimp,” Wynonna commented from behind them.

“Peanut-shrimp.”

Waverly wondered if she had the same look in her eyes as Nicole had when she looked at the tiny foetus. Her gaze was filled with absolute adoration, and Waverly couldn’t help but beam with pride when Nicole looked back at her, her chest about to explode with all the warmth and love radiating from deep inside.

“It’s amazing,” Nicole stammered, clutching Waverly’s hand harder. 

\---

Gus drove them all back to the house and declared that she would “make some proper food instead of that hospital junk”. She wasn’t happy with the selection in her usually well-stocked kitchen, but soon enough the smell of delicious vegetable stew filled the house.

The three girls sat on the couch, lazily watching some new show on Netflix. No one was really paying attention. Wynonna was slouching in one corner, lazily scrolling her phone and occasionally taking a swig of her beer. Waverly sat in the middle, battling with her hammering heart. She was certain that both her sister and Nicole must be able to hear it. Nicole, on her other side, was preoccupied with her own battle, having a fierce discussion with her inner monologue. 

_ I am  _ definitely _ a completely useless mess for her. She’s so pretty, and clever, and fun. But she’s also pregnant and in high school and she’s so close. Shit shit shit.  _

Waverly released a shuddering breath in order to calm down her racing heart, in the meantime shifting slightly so that her hand brushed past Nicole’s thigh. This only made Nicole’s mind run faster.

_ Shit, she touched me. Fuck. She must notice how I’m completely mad for her. I mean, how can she not. And her sister is right there. Fuck. She’s definitely gonna kick my ass if I touch her. Ooooh my god, but she’s so soft to touch.  _

Nicole cleared her throat.

_ Stop it, Haught. Stop fucking talking in your head, just do something sensible. What are we even watching?  _

Waverly and Nicole where both visibly relieved when Gus called them all to the table. They sat awkwardly chewing, while Gus tried to get updated on what had been going on in the girls’ lives since she’d last seen them. Apparently Wynonna had just told her Waverly was sick the past week, something that earned her a nice scowl now. 

Nicole’s presence was also a bit strange. She’d only briefly met Wynonna the other day at Peacemaker, but Waverly hadn’t really told her family about her new friend, preferring to keep her a secret. Almost like a guilty pleasure. 

They both blushed when Gus finally cleared her throat and asked who Nicole was.

“I’m a -” She looked at Waverly.

“A friend,” Waverly contributed.

“- a friend, yes. Uhm.” She could feel Gus’ piercing glare burning her from across the table. “I’m, uh. Well, we met randomly. Heheh!” 

She was so awkward.  _ Get your act together, Haught. _

Luckily Waverly stepped in. “I slipped on the ice last week and she helped me up.” It wasn’t entirely true, but they didn’t need to know Nicole was the reason she was lying in a cold ditch to begin with. “And she bought me cocoa.”

Waverly smiled shyly at Nicole, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Gus. Wynonna, on the other hand, was busy trying to reach the salt instead of just asking Waverly to hand it to her.

“And what do you do, Nicole?” Gus asked.

_ Shit,  _ I _ don’t even know that, _ Waverly realised. She sat up a little bit, prepared to pay attention to what Nicole had to share.

“I’m a student. Uh, sociology.”

“That’s interesting,” commented Gus politely.

“Yeah, it is, uh, pretty cool actually. Well...” She rubbed her neck awkwardly.

“How far have you come?” 

“Second year, ma’am.”

“You can just call me Gus,” Gus winked. 

“Okay. Yeah. Gus.”

“And what do you want to do with the degree?”

“Well, my parents want me to study Law.”

Waverly noticed the change in Nicole’s face as she mentioned her mother. “But you don’t,” she stated without thinking. 

Nicole looked at her. She didn’t answer.

Wynonna kicked Waverly under the table. “Dude, rude!”

Nicole cleared her throat and looked back at her plate of food. “The stew is really good, Gus. Thank you for inviting me.”

\---

A while later, after Nicole and Waverly had helped Gus with the dishes, Waverly yawned and Gus told her to go to bed. Then Gus retreated to her office, and Nicole was left in the kitchen with Wynonna.

“I should, uh -”

“You wanna have a beer?” Wynonna offered.

“Sure.”

And so it came to be that Nicole and Wynonna shared their first conversation on the kitchen floor.

They were silent at first, sipping their beers and trying to figure out whatever they could talk about. They certainly had Waverly in common, but Nicole wasn’t gonna bring her crush up as a topic. Wynonna was so rude, but at the same time so kick-ass. Nicole struggled to make up her mind about her. 

“So what are you hanging around a high school student for?” Wynonna asked, breaking the silence. 

_ Shit. _

“I -” Wherever could she start? She decided to begin with what Waverly had already revealed. “Well, I saw her slipping on the ice and I just helped her up.”

Wynonna gave her a look.

“And then, well, she’d been crying. So I offered to buy her hot chocolate. And she told me all about, well, her boyfriend and everything.”

“Dick,” Wynonna muttered and took another sip.

“Yeah.”

Nicole studied the profile of the daunting brunette, suddenly remembering something from Waverly’s story. “Are you staying because of her?”

“What, who?” Wynonna was confused.

“Waverly told me you haven’t really been here lately.”

“Oh. Yeah.” It took a minute for Wynonna to find something  _ Wynonna  _ to say, but there wasn’t really anything but the truth. “I  _ was _ just gonna earn some cash and be off again, like I usually do. But then, you know...” 

She took a big gulp of beer and swallowed with effort, before continuing.

“Well, Waverly is almost finished with high school, and then she’s gonna be off and save the world or whatever. And well. I haven’t really been here for her.” Wynonna plucked at the label on her bottle, refusing to meet Nicole’s eyes. “And now... I can’t exactly leave now, can I?”

She finally looked up at Nicole who only smiled.

“Do you think I’ve pulled her too close?” Wynonna asked.

“What, Waverly?”

“Yeah…”

“No, I think she’s happy that you’re here.”

They turned silent again.

Then Wynonna spoke up, with a clear voice and a straight face. “I had a bun in the oven once, you know.”

Nicole looked at her. “What happened?”

“I got rid of it.”

“Have you told Waverly?”

Wynonna shook her head.

“Why not?”

Wynonna took a long swig of her beer before she answered. “I don’t know. I know I should.” She looked down at the bottle in her hands and continued thumbing at a corner of the label where she’d picked it. “I don’t want her to judge me.”

Nicole didn’t think Waverly would do that, rather the opposite. She would be glad to have someone to share her experience with. “Do you think she will?”

“Probably not.”

Nicole looked at Wynonna who was taking another sip. The bottle was empty now, but she didn’t get up to get another one.

“Do you regret it?”

Wynonna swallowed and looked Nicole right in the eye, full of determination. “No.”

Nicole didn’t know how to respond, so she just kept her gaze.

“It was the right thing to do. I wasn’t in any state to be caring for a kid. I was off drinking in a different city every night, spreading my legs for every passing cowboy. I had no cash. I was -” She gave a short humourless laugh. “I  _ am _ a mess.”

“Well, a  _ hot _ mess with a  _ great  _ butt.” Nicole inclined her head towards Wynonna and held out her beer.

Wynonna grinned and clinked their bottles. “You know Stephanie Jones told me I should get a butt lift once?”

“The bitch who screwed Champ?” 

Wynonna nodded. If she was surprised about how much Nicole knew about Waverly’s life she didn’t let it show.

“Dude, your butt is -” Nicole searched for the right words to describe Wynonna’s ass. “It’s top shelf, man. It’s top shelf.”

Wynonna grinned. “Thanks.”

She grew quiet again, but this time with a proud smile plastered to her face.

“I don’t want it to influence Waverly’s decision, you know?”

“Uh -” Nicole didn’t know to which conversation Wynonna had returned, but she just went on.

“Well, maybe she feels like she has to get one too, just because  _ I _ got rid of it. Right?”

The abortion. Right.

“Yeah, but maybe she needs to know that it’s okay if she does want to remove it?” countered Nicole.

Wynonna considered it for a bit. She hadn’t thought about it that way. “Maybe…” She sighed. 

“You know, I think that Waverly has spent her whole life tailoring who she is to the people she’s with.” 

Nicole had thought a lot about this, late at night when she couldn’t sleep. Waverly was obviously a ball of sunshine, a light in everyone’s life. But where did that light come from? Nicole couldn’t help but wonder if all of her efforts - to become top of her class, class president, head cheerleader, the most popular girl in high school - were all to fit in. Not because she wanted it for herself, but because that was what other people expected of her. 

The way Waverly had looked at the photograph from her ultrasound was something else entirely. She had a brilliant spark in her eyes, the same glow as when she told Nicole about the origin of the word “chickpea”. Waverly was happiest when she was hunched over a book at Peacemaker, reading about history and languages with her sister close by. Or maybe she was really happiest knowing that her child was healthy and cared for. 

“She’s only now just starting to figure out what she really wants.”

Wynonna was gaping at her, amazed of the in depth analysis of her baby sister. “Dude, you’re like a walking bumper sticker.”

Nicole snickered and emptied her own bottle.

“Waverly should be hanging out with you.”

Nicole grinned. “I agree.”

Wynonna wasn’t so scary after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Find me on tumblr @zaxagra


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly discovers that Nicole has spent the night on her couch, after drinking with Wynonna. A few days later, they talk a walk through the park and Waverly finally gets to learn a few things about Nicole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big shout out to my friend @jorekbyrnison for awesome beta-work!

Exactly one week ago, Waverly had woken up surrounded by the sweet smell the was Nicole, in Nicole’s bed in Nicole’s apartment. This Sunday, Waverly stood in her own living room, watching the unknowning redhead as she was softly snoring on the battered couch. 

Waverly was so lost in the calm rise and fall of Nicole’s chest that she didn’t notice Gus behind her, until she not-so-discreetly cleared her throat. Her aunt raised a conspicuous eyebrow when Waverly’s cheeks turned slightly pink, but she thankfully didn’t comment on it. She just handed the two steaming mugs of coffee to Waverly and nodded to Nicole as if to say one of the mugs was for her. 

“It looks like Wynonna lured her into emptying my last bottle of whiskey yesterday.”

Sure enough, there was an empty bottle on the floor right beside Nicole’s hand where it dangled off the edge of the narrow couch. 

Gus returned to the kitchen and Waverly carefully sat down on the coffee table in front of the sleeping beauty. If it had been up to her she would have been happy just watching the relaxed figure forever. She looked so serene, the way all the usual crinkles and worrying lines of her face where all faded. Her face looked so open, so incredibly at peace. 

And the little smacking sounds that escaped her lips as she slowly chewed in her sleep where just so  _ adorable _ . 

“I’m making pancakes,” Gus hollered from the kitchen. 

Waverly sighed and put the mugs down. Nicole’s pale skin looked so delicate that Waverly could simply not resist the urge to touch it.

She reached forward and grazed the soft cheek with the pads of her fingers, and brushed an errant strain of red hair back. The touch made Nicole stirr in her sleep. Waverly could see the way her eyes moved behind her eyelids.

And then they opened.

The most brilliant caramel eyes adjusted to the morning light and caught sight of Waverly. They looked at each other for a magical minute, Waverly still with her hand resting on Nicole’s warm cheek, drinking in the sight of each other. What a way to wake up.

Finally Nicole opened her mouth. “Hi,” she croaked with an adorable morning voice. 

Waverly smiled. But then Nicole lazily blinked with the beginnings of a goofy, almost lovestruck grin, and something stirred in Waverly’s chest. It felt as though a thousand tiny hummingbirds erupted from her heart, her whole body suddenly blazing with tornadoes and inferno. Waverly felt overwhelmingly  _ pleasant _ , so much so that it almost hurt. The feeling scared her and made her withdraw her hand. As if she had been burned by a scorching fire. 

The loss was instant. There was a cold handprint left on Nicole’s cheek and the radiant glow from her eyes faded. Waverly caught her hand in her lap, as if it had betrayed her. She looked unsure, scared of how her impulses had overruled her usual control. She scooched herself further back on the table, away from Nicole.

Nicole rubbed her face and pushed herself up into a sitting position. She bumped the glass bottle as she planted her feet on the old hardwood floor. “Your sister really did a number on me,” she said, trying for casual conversation. 

“Well, luckily there is coffee.” Waverly tried to plaster her familiar sunshine smile on her face as she handed a mug to Nicole, but it didn’t quite drown out the insecurity that was visible in her eyes. 

Nicole pretended not to notice it and put the mug to her lips with a thankful groan. “Your aunt is the best.” She took a sip and hummed happily, wrapping both of her hands around the warmth of the mug before giving Waverly a wink. “Your sister though, terrible person.” 

\---

It was a well-known fact that Gus’ pancakes were not as good as Waverly’s. A fact most people chose not to mention out of normal courtesy, but not Wynonna.

“Why do you make them so thick,” Wynonna grumbled with her mouth full. Waverly’s pancakes were paper thin, like the French made them.

Gus eyed her rude niece. “Chew with your mouth closed,” she snapped and got up to get another round of  _ thick  _ pancakes.

As soon as Gus was gone from the table Wynonna conjured up a flask seemingly out of nowhere. She gestured at Nicole’s mug with a grin. Nicole instantly paled and shook her head.

“Come on, Haught Spot,” Wynonna whispered. “You weren’t a prude yesterday. Why start now?”

But Nicole put her hand over her coffee so that Wynonna couldn’t pour whatever liquor the flask contained into her morning drink.

“Wynonna, you’re frickin’ crazy. My head feels like it’s cleaved in two thanks to you.”

“Don’t be such a party pooper, Red.”

“Wynonna -” Waverly cut in and nudged her head to Gus who had flipped the last two pancakes and was headed back to the table. It would be a damn miracle if she hadn’t heard anything of the whispered debate behind her.

The three girls stilled and went back to eating with straight faces.

\---

Nicole and Waverly didn’t see each other again before Tuesday. 

They were walking through the Ghost River University Park. There was a thick layer of snow covering the same fields where students would lounge in the Summer, studying for exams or hanging out with friends and drinking beer. Nicole had been here with Shae when they were still together, but hadn’t really frequented the park that much on her own. Somehow the landscape seemed more beautiful than ever as she was walking with Waverly, the crisp crunch of snow under their boots.

Nicole had suggested the park as a means to get away from Peacemaker and Wynonna. She liked Waverly’s sister, but the troublemaker deemed a constant distraction when all she really wanted to do was spend time with Waverly. She had waited for her outside the bar with two take-away cups of hot chocolate from Mama Lou’s Café.

Waverly was telling her about her cheerleading practice from earlier that day. Her injured hand refrained her from most of it, but she’d been there instructing the girls in the routines as best as she could. 

“- but you know, with my pregnancy and everything, I probably have to back down from being captain pretty soon, so I think I have to go and talk to Coach Wigman. She already hates me because of -”

Nicole stopped in her tracks. “Wait a minute.”

Waverly stopped as well, turning to look at Nicole. She waited patiently for her to say something else, taking a small sip from her cup and humming quietly.

“Have you decided?”

Waverly arched an eyebrow in question, not understanding what Nicole was asking.

“You want to keep the baby?” She said it with a low voice so that the cutesy couple on the bench behind them wouldn’t hear.

“Oh.” Waverly gave a shy smile, ducking her head adorably. “Kind of?”

“Waverly, that’s great!” Nicole leapt to the girl, wanting to draw her in her arms, but stopping when she remembered they both had steaming hot drinks in their hands, easily spilled. She settled for a shoulder squeeze. “When did you decide?”

“At the hospital, I think.”

It had been a combination of several things. The sudden worry after her fall, afraid that her baby had suffered any damage. The picture of her peanut-shrimp from the ultrasound. But most of all it was the talk with Gus. Gus had somehow allowed her to not be ashamed of it, to want to keep it. Sure, she was still ashamed that this had happened to  _ her _ of all people, and she was angry at herself for not taking better precautions. But her aunt had reminded her that stuff happens and then you have to deal with that stuff, and sometimes the stuff turns out to be good stuff. 

At least, she hoped this would turn out good.

Waverly smiled at Nicole. She looked so happy, her eyes shining with joy and relief.

“I thought maybe you wanted me to take the abortion,” Waverly mumbled after a minute, casting her eyes downward again. 

Nicole’s face fell instantly. She grabbed Waverly’s body and drew her against her own in an awkward half-hug, her jaw resting against the side of Waverly’s temple.

“I wanted you to do whatever  _ you _ wanted to do,” she explained. “I’m sorry if I made you think otherwise.”

She held her tightly against her front, their big winter coats making the distance between them bigger than she’d liked. But Waverly melted against her nonetheless. She snuggled her head under Nicole’s chin so that it rested on top of her fluffy woollen hat. 

“I just thought, with everything you said about Champ…”

“Oh, Waverly.” She buried her nose in the itchy wool, feeling tears forming in her eyes. She never wanted to hurt Waverly.

“It’s just, everyone says he’s all these stupid things, and he  _ is _ . But…”

Nicole swallowed. “But he was still your boyfriend.”

She could feel Waverly’s head nod slowly against her throat, sniffling quietly. Nicole leaned back to look at the discouraged face glowing in the yellow light from the street lamp. She brushed a single tear from her cheek with her thumb. 

“I’m sorry I called him a dick,” Nicole whispered, but then Waverly laughed.

“He  _ is _ a dick,” she said, a beautiful mixture of sorrow and humour all at once. “He’s the biggest, shittiest, dickiest dick.”

“Gross.” 

Nicole’s jokeful smirk only made Waverly laugh even more, shredding tears of happiness now. 

“He’s such a douchebag, and I can’t believe I dated him for so long.” She finally calmed down and wiped her face with her glove. “But for some reason I did.” She shook her head like she couldn’t believe it herself. “For over a  _ year _ . Shit.”

“Maybe he changed,” Nicole suggested kindly.

“Honestly I think he was already a dick before we got together. I don’t know... “ Maybe she would never know how she’d ended up dating Champ Hardy.

“Are you gonna involve him in any of this?” Nicole asked, more seriously now.

“I don’t know. I mean, I probably should? If he wants.” She toed the path absentmindedly. She didn’t want to say out loud that she thought she could do it better without him. She sighed heavily. “You know, he came up to me at school yesterday, to ask if everything was okay after my fall.” 

Nicole only looked at her, allowing her to continue.

“He didn’t ask about the baby, though, and we were in the hallway so I didn’t really want to get into it…” She sighed. “I should probably tell him, right?”

Nicole shrugged. “I mean, he’ll know soon enough.”

Waverly nodded. She’d already noticed the changes on her body. Her boobs were sore and at least one cup-size bigger than before. And she’d had to change from jeans to a dress today because it was impossible to close the button. 

They continued their walk, away from the low level sucking sounds from the couple on the bench behind them.

“Nicole?” Waverly said after a while, preparing to ask the question that had been in her head for a few days now.

“Hm?”

“Shae called you  _ wifey… _ ” She directed the words to her almost empty cup. 

Nicole cleared her throat before she answered. “It’s, uh, it’s a joke. From when we were together. She used to call me wifey and sometimes she still does it. It used to really piss off my mom, which kinda made me happy. I know it’s weird, but… I dunno... Habits, I guess…”

Nicole was suddenly super awkward and rambled in a way Waverly felt awfully familiar with. It wasn’t very  _ Nicole _ . But she wouldn’t lie to her, right?

“Oh, okay.” 

Nicole didn’t meet Waverly’s gaze until they reached a trash can by the next street lamp, and she held out her hand to chuck their empty cups. She figured maybe their walk was coming to an end, but then Waverly asked a new question with a different voice that cleared the awkward tension.

“Can you tell me about yourself?” she said with a curious smile.

“What do you mean?”

“You know all these things about me,” Waverly explained. “But I don’t really know anything about you.”

Nicole smiled. “What do you want to know?”

“Well, everything! Where you’re from, if you had any pets growing up, what your hobbies are, what you want to do with your life… Just everything!”

Nicole laughed. “Well, I never had any pets.” 

Waverly’s face lit up at the tiny tidbit, hungry for more.

Nicole took a big breath before she lunged into her tale. “I’m from Toronto, born and raised. Only child of Jackie and Christopher Haught. They’re both lawyers and partners of Haught and Sons. My grandfather was one of the sons like forty years ago.” 

Waverly could sense the change in her tone when Nicole talked about the family business. She didn’t say anything, just allowing her to carry on without any interruptions.

“My mom wanted me to stay in Toronto and go to Uni there, but I convinced her it would be good for me to get away for a bit. My uncle studied here, too.”

She turned to smile at Waverly at the mention of her uncle.

“He gave me my first beer.” She grinned proudly at the memory. “On the roof outside my window on my sixteenth birthday.”

“Where is he now?” Waverly asked.

“He’s leading a project to preserve the natural habitats of the canadian brown bear. He’s currently up in Yukon.”

“Wow,” said Waverly, clearly in awe. “He sounds really cool.”

“He is.” Nicole smiled again.

“Did you know the name for brown bear is  _ Ursus arctos _ ?” Waverly asked excitedly. “It comes from the Latin word  _ ursus  _ meaning bear and the Greek word  _ arctos  _ meaning bear, so it’s actually just called  _ bear bear _ ?” 

It was one of her favorite facts.

“I didn’t,” Nicole laughed. “But did you know they give birth to their cubs while they’re still in hibernation? So they’re essentially sleeping while they’re giving birth.”

Waverly nodded. “And the cubs are usually only like a pound or something, much smaller than a human baby.”

“There’s a fairytale in Norway explaining why the tail of the bear is so short, have you heard it?”

Waverly scrunched her eyebrows in thought but eventually had to admit defeat. “Tell me,” she said eagerly.

“So there was a bear and a fox, and one day the fox was carrying all this fish, and of course the bear wanted to know how the fox had caught all the fish. And the fox said that he made a hole in the ice and put his tail down like a fishing rod. And then the bear went and made a hole in the ice for himself and put his tail down like the fox had told him. But then the ice froze again, and it caught the tail of the bear and tore it clean off. And he’s been walking around with the short stub ever since.”

Her uncle had told her the story many times when she was little. She had loved it as a child, and judging to the joy on Waverly’s face, she loved it as well.

“Amazing!” she exclaimed. 

Nicole felt all warm inside. Waverly was happy because of  _ her _ , because of a story  _ she  _ had told. It felt amazing to be the source of Waverly’s happiness. She only wanted to do it again and again, for as long as she could. 

“Have you been to Yukon to visit him?” Waverly asked, still with visible pleasure. 

Nicole’s smile turned sad. “No, I haven’t seen him for some years. I visited him for a few days in my gap year, when he was working in British Columbia. But I haven’t seen him since. Mom doesn’t really talk to him anymore.” 

“You did a gap year?” Waverly asked, expertly focusing on a fact other than Nicole’s mother, who made the smile on Nicole’s face fade with every mention of her name.

“Yeah, I went travelling for a bit. First to the west coast and then to Europe.”

“Where’d you go?”

“You know, the south of France, Barcelona, the Alps in Switzerland. And then Italy.”

Nicole said it rather matter-of-factly, but when Waverly pressed on she started to give more details about her travels.

She told her about fairytale castles and forts in Avignon and Carcassonne, the endless hills of lavender in the Provence and how she’d been forced to brush up on her terrible French because everyone refused to speak English. She laughed when she remembered the group of Swedes she had met in Barcelona. After losing a bet to Lars, one of her new friends, she had ended up buying every cocktail on the menu at this one bar. She’d been so hungover that she had missed her train to Madrid and ended up skipping the Spanish capital altogether, travelling eastwards instead. With a sigh, she thought back to endless pots of melted cheese in Switzerland. Hiking in the burning sun in the Swiss Alps had been almost as amazing as skinny dipping in an ice cold lake in Valais. 

A mental image appeared in Waverly’s head, featuring a naked Nicole jumping into a picturesque lake in Switzerland, while a beautiful European babe was laughing before jumping in after her. It stung a little, but was easy enough to ignore when Nicole was speaking with such wonder.

“And Italy is just. I mean -” Nicole shook her head, almost speechless at her own memories. “There’s just so much. There’s the food of course. Pizza and spaghetti and gelato and cheese and ham and oh my god the sea food. It was amazing. And there’s so much to see as well! I met a British girl and we ended up going to Venice and San Marino together. And then I spent my last week in Rome before I went back home to Canada.”

"It sounds amazing,” Waverly said. She’d sucked up all of Nicole’s experiences and fond memories and had this astonished look on her face as she was picturing it all. Nicole had lived. She had stories and memories. 

And Waverly had nothing. 

“I haven’t even seen the sea,” she realized.

“You haven’t?” Nicole looked at Waverly, who shook her head miserably. “We should go some time!”

She smiled encouragingly and Waverly smiled back, but there was something missing. 

“Everything will change now. I can’t just go and do stuff. I have to stay here and take care of this kid.”

It was a tough realization. Waverly was only eighteen but the loss of youth was already visible in her eyes. 

"You can still experience stuff, Waves. It’s never too late. You can bring the baby on your adventures or Wynonna or Gus can babysit. Your life isn’t wasted just because you’re gonna have a kid. Lots of people have kids!”

Waverly nodded, but there was nothing left of the happiness that had been there only a minute ago. Nicole stopped walking and took both of Waverly’s hands in her own, forcing her to face her. 

“Your life can be whatever you want it to be, Waverly,” she said resolutely. 

Waverly looked up and met her determined gaze. “That’s what Gus said.” She wasn’t sure if she believed it yet.

“Gus is right.”

Nicole looked so sure of it, so certain that Waverly could achieve anything she set her mind to. 

Waverly swallowed down the big lump that had emerged in her throat, trying to focus on something else. She looked at Nicole and wondered what she had planned out for herself. She’d gotten the impression that she was heading down a path she would rather stay clear of.

“What do  _ you  _ want to do?” she asked. “You know, in life?”

It wasn’t a question that was easily answered.

Nicole suddenly looked uneasy. “I was always kind of destined to take over the firm eventually.” She said it slowly. Being the CEO of Haught and Sons felt distant and displaced. “My Dad is an only child and I am too, so I’m the last Haught in the family.” She sighed unhappily. 

Waverly squeezed Nicole’s hands gently. They both knew Nicole hadn’t really answered the question.

She decided to push on. “But what do you  _ want _ ?”

Nicole looked at her. “I’ll be a lawyer.” Her tone was almost as hard as her eyes.

“It doesn’t look like that’s what you want,” Waverly pointed out, rather bravely.

Nicole let go of Waverly’s hands, annoyed. “What do you want me to say, Waverly?”

“You’re telling me my life can be whatever I want it to be. But what do you want  _ your _ life to be?”

Nicole looked angry at first, but after a short staring contest her face faltered. Waverly had broken her with her own words.

“Nicole, I’m -”

“It’s okay.”

Nicole tucked her chin into the collar of her winter jacket, her eyes anywhere but on Waverly. She had spent so much time convincing Waverly that she was the narrator of her own life, but this was  _ different _ . She was always gonna end up at Haught and Sons, that was the plan. She’d known that from when she was little. Everyone knew it.

“It’s different,” she whispered.

Waverly studied her face. Nicole had shrunk in on herself, hiding her emotions away. 

“Is it?”

She didn’t answer. 

“Do you want to be a lawyer?”

_ No. _

“It’s not up to me, Waverly.”

She looked up. Waverly had to understand. 

“There’s no one else to take over the company.”

“Why is it your responsibility?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Why not?”

Nicole huffed, clearly annoyed and started walking at a quicker pace than before. Waverly sprang to keep up.

“Nicole, why would you do this if you clearly don’t want to?”

“Because, my mother, she -” Nicole shook her head, not able to explain to Waverly the responsibility she had to her family.

“What, Nicole?” Waverly grabbed the sleeve of Nicole’s jacket and tugged it to slow her down. “You’re just gonna leave for Toronto in a few years and go live the way your mother wants you to? That doesn’t seem fair.”

“It’s my duty, Waverly. My legacy.” She’d heard those words often enough.

“Well, screw it.”

“Wave…”

“What? I’m serious, Nicole. It’s not fair. You’re telling me to live my life and choose my own destiny, but what about you?”

Nicole finally met her firm gaze. She breathed heavily through her nose.

“Do you want to be a lawyer?” Waverly asked again.

"No.” She felt so angry. At herself? At Waverly? Or her mother? “Of course I don’t want to be a lawyer. I fucking hate it. Financial law? It’s the fucking worst. I never wanted it, never wanted the company or Toronto or anything.”

Waverly watched her outburst and waited until her breathing had calmed down slightly.

“What do you want then?”

Nicole looked at her, her eyes still glazed. “I -” She shook her head and looked away again, coming to some sort of conclusion. “I don’t know.”

Waverly took her hand again. She took a step closer so that they were only a few inches apart. 

Nicole had lived the last two years like a zombie. She’d stretched her mother’s willingness as far as she could with her gap year and her moving to Ghost River. With her  _ marriage  _ for fuck’s sake. But she’d accepted it all as a temporary situation, a detour before she’d return to the road that had been laid out for her. She always knew she would eventually end up back at the firm to fulfil her duty. 

A hand touched her face. Waverly, of course. She cupped Nicole’s cold cheek in her gloved hand and looked up into the troubled waters of those kind eyes. There was sympathy and understanding and  _ care _ .

“You can choose your own destiny, Nicole. Same as me.”

Nicole nodded. Maybe there was a different path for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment or come yell at me on tumblr @zaxagra!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Movie night! 
> 
> This chapter is all about Waverly's relationships with Wynonna and her friends. Also, she makes an elaborate plan to cuddle up in Nicole's arms, and Chrissy asks an important question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are so lovely! Thank you for all the kudos and comments, I really appreciate them!
> 
> Did you know my beta @jorekbyrnison is making amazing fan art for this fic? Check it out on tumblr!

Waverly could practically feel herself getting more and more pregnant for each passing day.

Her morning sickness had reached another level and was now stretching out to cover most hours of the day. She had to be careful to only eat tiny portions of food spread out every one or two hours instead of proper meals like a normal person, and at least once a day there was some kind of prepackaged food that would put her off in the grossest way. The nausea was always there to some degree, even though it varied a lot through the day. 

All in all, Waverly was sick of feeling sick. 

At 12 weeks she was at the end of the first trimester and all of the websites told her the nausea would get better now that she had finished that part of the pregnancy. She couldn’t wait to feel like herself again.

After a particularly bad day of whole day-sickness, Waverly went to talk to Coach Wigman and told her she had to step down from her job as Cheerleading Captain. She had really loved leading the girls and being their front person, but she’d read enough articles on the internet listing all the dangers of cheerleading and pregnancy to know it was the only right choice. The coach wasn’t happy about it, but she had no other choice than to accept it. As co-captain, Stephanie would take over the position. She’d be thrilled to learn that she would be taking over Waverly’s job (as she had already predicted in the locker room some few days ago). Waverly was glad to see the coach’s worried frown as soon as Stephanie’s name was mentioned. She wouldn’t be nearly as good a leader as Waverly had been to the girls. 

Wynonna knocked on Waverly’s door one evening. She was sitting at her desk trying to figure out if there was some way to go to university after the summer, maybe doing part-time studies, but it was impossible to navigate the Ghost River University website about the subject. It was honestly a relief when she was interrupted.

“Hey, Waves.” Wynonna closed the door with a soft click and padded to Waverly’s bed. She sat down on the edge of it, looking unusually shy and fiddling with her fingers. It wasn’t at all like the Wynonna Waverly knew. Something had to be up.

“Hey, what’s up?” Waverly asked concerned. She went to sit on the bed next to her sister.

“I just, I dunno…” 

Waverly scooched closer so that their knees were touching. Wynonna had been rather quiet lately, ever since Gus had come home. It had shifted the dynamic in the house a bit, the sisters’ established routines disrupted by the presence of a proper adult. 

“Is everything alright?” she tried.

Wynonna nodded. 

“I was just wondering... About you. I mean -” She gestured vaguely around, not really pointing at anything in particular. “Well, I guess you decided,” she concluded.

Waverly stared at her. “Whah, uh -” And then it hit her. “Shit.”

She’d decided to become a mother. And she hadn’t told her sister.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Wynonna nodded. She looked left out. She wasn’t really, Waverly defended herself in her mind. She just hadn’t said the words directly to her face. 

“I should have told you.”

Wynonna nodded again. “I figured you had, because, well. You quit cheerleading.”

Waverly always thought Wynonna didn’t really register any of her after school-activities. Apparently she wasn’t as oblivious as she suspected.

“I’m so sorry, Wy, I didn’t - There’s just been so much on my mind and -”

“It’s okay.” Wynonna smiled at her, sadly. It only made the lump in Waverly’s throat bigger. 

“I should have told you. You’re my sister.”

“Well, I haven’t really been there for you, so I guess -”

Waverly grabbed Wynonna’s hands and clutched them tightly. “You have. You really have. You’re the best sister anyone could ask for.”

She hoped she could convey the truth behind her words properly. Wynonna had been irreplaceable in this difficult journey.

“I couldn’t have done this without you, Wy. You were there from the start. I mean, you chased off Champ with a frickin’ tennis racket.”

Wynonna grinned. “One of my proudest moments.”

Waverly smiled and put her head on her sister’s shoulder for comfort. 

“You just stopped telling me stuff I guess.”

Waverly had talked to Gus and Nicole and Chrissy. But not Wynonna. “I know…”

Honestly, she had no idea why she hadn’t shared everything with her. They’d gotten super close the last couple of months, and God knows Wynonna had seen sides of her no one knew existed. She’d helped her through the whirlwind of difficult emotions the first few weeks after they found out, and she deserved to be kept in the loop.

Waverly sat up again suddenly and reached for the drawer in her night stand. She fished out the picture she’d been looking at every night and handed it to Wynonna.

“I think I decided when they gave me this.”

They looked at it together. 

“Shrimp,” Wynonna said.

“Peanut,” Waverly countered. They grinned stupidly at the picture. “It’s the size of a lime now.”

“We should make margaritas.”

Waverly looked at her pointedly.

“Fine. Virgin margaritas. To celebrate.”

Waverly chuckled. That sounded more like her sister.

“Can you feel it?” Wynonna asked.

Waverly shook her head. “Not yet.”

She put a hand on her stomach. Her body was changing and she wasn’t too happy about it. Sometimes when she looked in the mirror at the right angle she thought she could see her stomach becoming more prominent. She wasn’t sure if it was the early signs of a baby bump or if she was in fact just gaining weight, but she didn’t feel good about it. 

“Do you think I look pregnant?” she asked Wynonna. She hadn’t shared that particular concern with anyone yet. No one questioned her excessive use of big fluffy sweaters to school, as it was still winter, but people would start to notice eventually, and that was  _ not  _ something Waverly was looking forward too. Thank god it was only February.

Wynonna gave her a once-over. She shrugged. “Just your boobs.”

Waverly grabbed her breasts, visibly distressed. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, they look bigger.”

“Fudge nuggets.”

Her breasts did feel swollen and sore, and she only had one bra left that felt comfortable. But she didn’t think anyone else was noticing it.

“They were kinda big enough,” Waverly confessed with a small voice, still cupping her boobs.

Wynonna smirked. “I bet the dudes will be lining up for you.”

_ Will the chicks? _

Waverly felt her cheeks warming up at the impromptu comment in her mind.

“You’ll be fine, Waves. You look super hot.”

Waverly answered with a shy smile. “I don’t feel hot.” She felt nauseous and bloated and tired and gross. Didn’t everyone talk about the pregnancy glow and all that crap? Why wasn’t anyone talking about stocking up on pantiliners because of the neverending vaginal discharge?

Wynonna was looking at the picture again. “Will you tell me?” she asked suddenly. “You know, how you feel and stuff?”

Waverly looped her arms around Wynonna’s skinny body and leaned her forehead against her temple. “Of course I will. Maybe you wanna come for my next check-up?”

She nodded. “I’d like that.”

When Wynonna joked about Waverly’s boobs at dinner later that evening, Gus gave her money to go shopping for bras the next day. 

\---

“Mr. Meek told me I should apply for an Honours Program in science at McGill University, but I can’t decide if I wanna do Bio-Physiology or Physics and Computer Science.”

Jeremy was skipping with excitement as they were walking home from school. The deadline for college and university applications was approaching quickly and the career counsellor at their school had set up meetings with all the graduating students.

“That’s great, Jer!” Chrissy said. “It’s gonna be so weird next year. I mean, everyone is moving away to different places and starting new lives. Do you think we’ll still be friends?”

“Is Eve Polastri secretly in love with Villanelle?” Jeremy asked sarcastically. Chrissy looked at him nonplussed, but he eagerly continued on. “Of course we’re still gonna be friends! We’ll see each other at Christmas and Summer and we can go and visit each other! It’s gonna be so cool.”

Waverly was walking quietly next to her two best friends. She’d been looking forward to all of this. Exploring different universities and study programs and cities. But her talk with Mr. Meek had gone a lot differently than she would have imagined a month ago.

“How about you, Waves? Are you gonna major in History or Ancient Languages?” Jeremy turned to look at her.

“Oh, uhm.” Waverly shrugged non-committedly. “I think I’m gonna do a gap year.”

Jeremy frowned at her. “What for? Are you gonna travel or something?” He knew perfectly well the trajectory Waverly had laid out for herself. A gap year wasn’t part of it.

“Uh, no.” She looked at Chrissy who cocked her head as if to say “he’s your friend, he’s gonna know sooner or later”.

Waverly grabbed Jeremy’s jacket sleeve to make him halt. They were almost at the corner where he would turn left and Waverly and Chrissy continued straight ahead. 

“Jeremy. I’m gonna have a baby.”

He raised his eyebrows dramatically. “So  _ that’s  _ what’s been going on with you!” he exclaimed, more relieved than anything else. “How did I not see this?” 

Jeremy visibly condemned himself for not solving the puzzle of Waverly’s recent ups and downs. He shook his head as he started listing the signs. “You’re always puking. You finally broke up with Champ - is he the dad, by the way? Anyway. You quit cheerleading. And there’s the whole -” He gestured vaguely at Waverly’s chest, covered by a large scarf. 

“Shit, are my boobs  _ that  _ big?” Waverly asked and tugged her coat firmly around her body.

Chrissy cocked her head and gave Waverly’s chest a proper look. “Kind of?”

Jeremy just nodded.

Waverly glared at Chrissy for a second, but turned back to Jeremy. She had underestimated how perceptive he was. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “You weren’t ready to tell me until now,” he shrugged.

Waverly looked at him for a second, feeling her heart warm up with the affection she felt for her patient friend. 

“It’s so cool, though!” Jeremy assured her. “Wow, a baby! That’s awesome!”

Waverly could feel tears prickling in her eyes, but these were tears of happiness. A welcome change.

“You guys,” she sniffled and with a short leap she flung herself around Jeremy’s neck. He patted her awkwardly on her back. After a moment, Waverly reached out a hand and tugged Chrissy into the hug. “You’re the most amazing friends.” 

\---

The strangest group of people were sitting in Waverly’s living room. Wynonna was in the armchair by the TV, lying horizontally across the armrests. Chrissy was leaning against Robin’s shoulder in the two-seater across from Wynonna, and Waverly was squeezed in between Jeremy and Nicole, tucked under a large blanket. 

Chrissy had arranged a movie night to cheer Waverly up. They’d been sitting at the kitchen table trying to find the perfect rom-com for the occasion when Wynonna had sauntered in and asked why she hadn’t been invited. Chrissy had given her the stink-eye but ultimately agreed to let her join them. And then Wynonna had gone all out and invited Doc and Nicole as well. Doc had to work, but Nicole couldn’t pass down an evening with Waverly.

Waverly was quite reluctant to include Nicole in her established group of friends. It was already weird that Wynonna had taken a liking to her so quickly. Nicole had been Waverly’s friend, her secret person to talk to without receiving any judgment. The stranger who didn’t know anything about her, and therefore the perfect person to share everything with. 

But when Nicole had texted and told her Wynonna had invited her, Waverly didn’t hesitate. She wanted nothing else than to snuggle into Nicole’s side under a soft blanket in the dim light of the television. 

This wish had quickly turned into a plan, one that Waverly’s subconscious had easily concocted. Her clever brain never asked why this desire had emerged from the depth of her id, or what it meant. She simply wanted it, and all hell would be damned if she didn’t end up squished against Nicole’s body at the end of the movie.

The first part of her plan had been easy to implement. Out of the group, Nicole only knew the Earp sisters. Wynonna had already claimed the chair, so it was only natural that Waverly would sit next to her. The next stage of Operation Cuddles would commence as soon as the film was well underway.

In the meantime Waverly had to suffer through Jeremy trying to peel open a bag of strawberry liquorice laces without disturbing the rest of the group. Of course everyone was very much disturbed as he was tearing the bag open super slowly without managing to do it soundlessly. It only made the suffering last longer.

Wynonna was the first person to snap. “Jeremy,  _ fuck _ ! Just open the goddamn bag.”

His face turned red but he quickly tore the end of the bag, ending the slow torture once and for all.

Phase Two came into effect about halfway through the movie, when Emma Stone talked to Penn Badgley as he was dripping with pool water. 

Jeremy had to lean all the way across the coffee table to reach the bowl of popcorn Wynonna had left right next to her beer. When he fell back into his seat he ended up a bit further to his side of the couch, giving Waverly a few inches of extra space. She didn’t hesitate to tuck her feet up into the tiny gap that had opened up between herself and Jeremy, this way leaning against Nicole’s side more fully. Nicole had casually slung her arm across the backrest a few minutes ago, making the crook of her arm available for Waverly.

After a blissful minute pressed against the redhead’s warm torso, Waverly lowered her head down slowly to let it rest on Nicole’s shoulder. She could hear Nicole’s breath hitch when Waverly slid her hand across her abdomen to snuggle further into her. It was a delightful sound, almost as good as the sound of Nicole’s heart accelerating into a thunderous gallop inside her chest cavity. Nicole’s hand slipped down from the backrest and curled around Waverly’s waist, drawing their bodies even closer. 

Waverly was extremely satisfied when her plan had been successfully put into action without any of her friends noticing.

She was also extremely hot all of a sudden. The conflict between chucking the blanket to let out some steam and keeping it to sort of engulf the two of them into their own private den was interrupted when Nicole’s fingers started their familiar drawings on Waverly’s hip. 

The blanket could stay.

Waverly felt herself relaxing, her body melting into a perfect mold to form around Nicole. Her breathing slowed, and with the smell of vanilla dipped donuts all around her she could feel herself starting to doze off. 

\---

“Wave…” 

A low voice whispered in her ear. The up-beat acoustic song from the TV sounded far away.

“Waves?”

Her head was resting against something soft that was rhythmically moving up and down. Her own chest was following along at the same pace. 

“The movie is finished.”

“Mm.” The annoyed sound came from her throat. She was perfectly comfortable in this position where everything was warm and cozy and soft. No reason for her to be woken up.

“Just pinch her butt,” someone said from the sideline, but no such thing happened. There was only a gentle pat and a squeeze on her hip. Then the body shifted just an inch, enough to disturb Waverly’s perfectly shaped mattress.

She opened her eyes just as Wynonna threw a pillow at her face. Nicole caught it expertly before it hit her. Wynonna only shrugged.

In her sleep, Waverly had slid down to the point where her cheek was now resting on the soft upper curve of Nicole’s breast. Her hand had somehow found its way underneath the hem of Nicole’s sweater and was clutching the soft skin of her stomach. 

She scrambled up quickly, pulling herself out of the compromising position before anyone noticed. But it was already too late. Nicole had tried to wake her up gently while the credits were still rolling, but as soon as Wynonna started to budge in everyone had turned to look at her. 

“Hey, sleepy,” Nicole smiled at her. Waverly was frantically trying to flatten her hair that had gone all electric against Nicole’s polyester sweater.

“Dude, you missed the entire film!” Jeremy said, rather oblivious to the cuddling that had been going on right next to him.

Wynonna stood up, ignoring her sleepy sister. “Hey, Haught, you want a beer?”

Nicole shook her head. “I’ve gotta head home.”

Waverly turned desperately to look at Nicole’s kind face, too vulnerable in her sleepy state to control her features.

“I’m sorry, Waves. I promised Shae we’d go climbing tomorrow.”

There was a strange surge of insecurity and fear running through Waverly at the mention of Shae, with just a tiny bit of resentment that Nicole would spend her day with  _ some other woman _ . With great effort she pulled herself together and nodded.

Nicole left shortly afterwards, with Jeremy and Robin close behind her. Wynonna said she was headed out and left Waverly and Chrissy alone. They had scheduled a sleepover.

They hadn’t said a lot after the movie, quietly getting ready for bed. 

But as they were laying on their backs, staring up into the darkness side by side in Waverly’s queen bed, Chrissy broke the tension.

“Do you like Nicole?”

Waverly stopped breathing.

It was such a direct question. No beating around the bush, no carefully leading up to it. 

Waverly was so taken aback by Chrissy’s candor that it took a minute before she started to figure out what the answer could be. 

She liked spending time with Nicole. She loved learning new things about her. And she spent most of her time thinking about her. But she hadn’t translated all of that to mean something other than friendship.

The air in her bedroom felt thick all of a sudden, as if one could take a knife and cut into it. Chrissy was waiting for her to answer. But she had nothing. 

“Uh -”

Chrissy hadn’t even met Nicole before tonight. How the hell could she come to this conclusion when Waverly hadn’t even thought about it herself?

“I don’t -”

There was no answer to the question. 

Chrissy must have seen something tonight to make that assumption. Was it the cuddles? The elaborate plan Waverly had put into action to place herself in Nicole’s arms? 

But that was just for comfort, right?

“I’m just tired, I think.”

Chrissy gave no reaction. Waverly was dying to know what was going on in the head beside her, how Chrissy had come to that conclusion.

“It’s okay if you do, Waves,” she said slowly, finally turning to face Waverly.

“I’m -”

She was all flustered. Her face felt hot again and she wished Chrissy was still looking at the ceiling instead of at her.

“I’m just weird with all the hormones and everything, I think.”

It wasn’t a lie exactly. There was a war going on inside her body right now, her hormone levels battling for dominance. But Waverly somehow felt guilty for blaming her relationship with Nicole on estrogen and progesterone. 

Chrissy gave a small smile and nodded slowly. “That’s probably it.”

Waverly swallowed heavily. 

_ Probably. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for reading! Leave a comment and tell me what you think, or come find me on tumblr @zaxagra!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly is at week 15 of her pregnancy, but morning sickness isn't really on her mind. She has a long talk with Chrissy, revealing more than one secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind comments! 
> 
> As always, shout-out to awesome friend and beta @Jorekbyrnison. I love you!

Chrissy’s question occupied Waverly’s already busy mind during the next week.

_ "Do you like Nicole?" _

Those four simple words kept her up every night. She repeated every moment she had spent with Nicole over and over in her mind, and was terrified to see what all those memories did to her. Every thought of the soft dimpled smile brought a fluttering feeling to Waverly’s gut. Every touch of those long fingers on her wrist made goosebumps erupt on her arms. Every gaze Nicole had given her,  _ really _ looking at her, made her heart glow with warmth.

The undivided attention Nicole gave her - always, without failure - made her feel validated. Like she  _ saw _ her. Like she really cared for everything Waverly shared about her life. Like she wanted to know everything about her and what made her  _ Waverly _ . It was something no one had ever given her. No one had ever cared so much about her. Unconditionally.

But  _ why _ did she care? Waverly was only a simple girl. A retired cheerleader who’d gotten herself knocked up by her high school sweetheart. Like some white-trash trailer park chick.

Waverly knew Nicole was a lesbian. She didn’t mind of course. On the contrary, she had been quite intrigued when Shae had introduced herself as Nicole's ex-girlfriend. Waverly didn’t know anyone else who was a lesbian. The only gay person she knew of was Rachel’s older brother Steve. Now that she thought of it, it was kinda weird that she didn’t know more LGBTQ-people. Weren’t they supposed to be like ten percent of the population? Statistically that meant twelve of the students in her grade would have to be gay or lesbian or bi or trans or queer. 

_ Maybe I’m one of them. _

Whenever her mind raced in that direction she stopped herself, trying to find something to distract her. Maybe a book or a school assignment. But there was little to distract her late at night when she was urging her mind to go to sleep. She would mull endlessly over the same string of scary questions.

_ Am I gay? Do I like Nicole? Am I a  _ lesbian _? Was everything with Champ fake? Maybe I’m bi? But do I even like girls? Maybe I only like Nicole? _

She’d blown off Chrissy with some explanation about hormones, and maybe she had bought it. Maybe even Waverly bought it. But if she thought her estrogen levels were off the charts back when Chrissy had spoken those scary words into Waverly’s dark bedroom, she should have seen herself now. 

At week 15 of her pregnancy, the nausea had thankfully dialled back almost entirely and was replaced with a welcome surge of energy. Waverly finally felt like herself again - physically at least. The last few weeks had been tiresome and just generally sucky. Now she was able to handle her homework and tests and the student council and the yearbook and everything. She even felt like exercising again. Yoga was back in her weekly schedule, and she had found a workout program for pregnant women which included both kettlebells and kegels.

It felt wonderful to check off all of her to do-lists and get back into a daily rhythm.

But with the newfound energy Waverly also experienced her first sex dream.

And that didn’t exactly make the whole Nicole-thing easier.

Waverly woke up one fateful Tuesday morning all flustered and hot. Her chest was slick with sweat and she was breathing heavily. Her usual four blankets seemed excessive now.

Nicole had been there only seconds ago, their bodies flush together. It was almost tangible, the feeling of delicate lips brushing over her clavicle, those long fingers splayed on her stomach. A strong thigh wedged between her own, moving  _ higher _ . The sound of Nicole’s heavy breath in her ear, the smell of  _ her _ tingling in Waverly’s nostrils. A thin layer of sweat and the taste of salty skin on Waverly’s tongue as she slowly sucked a wet path up Nicole’s throat. The hitch of her breath as she sighed Waverly’s name, red locks slipping between her fingers as she moved down Waverly’s trembling body.

It was almost too much.

She allowed herself an extra minute to gather her heightened senses before she got up. The dream had been so vivid. Her subconsciousness had produced images that made her  _ feel  _ things.  _ Good _ things _.  _

But she was so confused. Did she want Nicole to do all those things to her?

_ Yes _ , a tiny voice in the back of her mind told her. 

Waverly rubbed her flushed face. A cold shower seemed like a good idea.

She was almost late for Nedley to pick her up. After two weeks back with the girls, Gus’ obligations with Shorty’s bar had forced her to return to Purgatory again last weekend. Wynonna had been visibly relaxed when the blue-and-white pick-up truck left the driveway. Now everything could go back to the way it was.

“You look weird,” Chrissy commented as they were walking to their lockers.

Waverly answered with a high-pitched laugh, making her look even weirder. It was gonna be a long day if she couldn’t keep her head on straight.

She managed to pass through most of her lectures without anyone else commenting on her strange behaviour. It was only in History that Jeremy had to nudge her twice when Professor Malick asked her a question. She’d been staring out the window with glassy eyes, slowly rolling her pen between her fingers and her heart audibly pounding at the images playing in her mind. She had no idea what the question was about so Malick had to repeat it before she could give a rambling answer. Stephanie looked pleased.

True to the Earp sisters’ tradition, Waverly was supposed to go to Peacemaker after school. She figured a walk and some fresh air would do her good. It would give her some time to mull over her feelings alone. But then Chrissy caught up with her just around the corner of the school. 

“Hey, Waves, wait up!” she called as she ran the last few steps to Waverly. “Are you going to Peacemaker? I’m supposed to meet my Dad at the station.”

The police station wasn’t far from the bar.

Waverly nodded.

"Great! We can walk together."

She wasn’t too happy about it, but her cheerful smile gave nothing away.

They walked in silence for a good five minutes before anyone said something. 

“Are you okay, Waves? You’ve been quiet all day.”

Waverly smiled and nodded quickly. She had been internally debating if she should ask Chrissy about Nicole, but just as she had reached a decision, Chrissy cleared her throat nervously and turned to Waverly. She slowed her step until she stopped walking altogether, forcing Waverly to halt as well.

“Uh, Wave?”

Waverly tried her best to pull her head out of her own thoughts. She had to scrunch her eyebrows a bit to fully notice the hesitant look on Chrissy’s face. Chrissy wasn’t usually like this. She was shy about a lot of things, but never about talking to Waverly.

“Yes?”

“You uh, you know Robin?”

“Mmmhm?” Waverly nodded. She was finally starting to understand where this was going. 

Chrissy bit her lip, obviously at the pulse point of her confession. “He and I, well -”

Waverly turned fully to her friend now, a giant grin on her face. “Are you two dating?”

“Well, no.” Chrissy turned red quicker than Wynonna drank 4 cl of scotch. “But we... Well... We kissed.”

“Chrissy, that’s great!” Waverly flung her arm around her friend and hugged tight. “Tell me everything.”

Chrissy’s lips slowly turned into a smile as she told Waverly how it had happened. 

They had been studying for an English test at Chrissy’s last week. Robin had been kinda touchy ever since he started writing his weekly column for The Daily Devil, always hugging her whenever he had the chance and smiling his adorable smile. They’d been sitting super close at the kitchen table, hunched over their notes, when he had turned to look at her and told her she had nice handwriting.

“...and I just acted on instinct I guess.”

“ _ You _ made the first move?” Waverly asked in awe. “Dude, that’s awesome! What did he do?”

“Well, he kinda kissed me back.” Chrissy’s bright red face turned almost crimson.

“ _ And _ ?”

“And nothing. We kissed for a bit, but then he went home. And we haven’t kissed after.”

“Well, have you had the chance?” Waverly asked.

Chrissy shook her head. “No, he was visiting his mother up in Edmonton this weekend.”

“And yesterday?”

“I had a meeting with the paper.”

Waverly considered it for a bit. “But do you like him?”

“I think so? I mean, we're really good friends.”

“Do you think he likes you?”

Chrissy shrugged. “We’ve been texting a lot. But he hasn’t said anything about, you know…”

“But have you brought it up?”

“No.”

Waverly smiled her most encouraging smile and squeezed Chrissy’s arm. “See? You’re both just awkward. I think you should ask him to hang out, just the two of you, and just see where it goes.”

Chrissy nodded slowly. “We have another study session on Thursday.”

“Perfect!” Waverly grinned.

Chrissy smiled back, thoroughly relieved. 

“I’m really happy for you, Chris.” 

Chrissy had never had a boyfriend. A few flings, but never anything real. The most recent fiasco was Perry Crofte from summer camp, who had just stopped texting her back. If anyone deserved some luck in love, it was her.

They walked in silence again, but with a lighter mood than before. It was only Waverly who was lost in thought now. She considered the situation for a bit. Chrissy had shared her secret, so maybe it was safe to spill her own.

“Why did you ask if I like Nicole?” she blurted out all of a sudden, immediately regretting it.

Chrissy looked at her, doing her best to stay neutral. “You just seemed kinda lovey-dovey on the couch.”

Waverly took in the information, bringing back the memory of their recent movie night. The way she had melted into Nicole’s body in her sleep made her blush. 

“Why?” Chrissy asked.

Waverly shook herself back to the present, leaving Nicole’s warm arms behind. “Oh! Uh -”

Did she answer it truthfully this time? Or shy away from it with another dumb argument? She hadn’t seen Nicole since that night, they’d only texted a bit. Nicole had been busy with her midterm exams, but Waverly had found a post on Shae’s Instagram on Sunday with the two of them hiking.

The picture of the two women posing on a mountain ledge in the most gorgeous evening sunlight had made her feel a whole range of emotions. She’d moved from insecure and worthless to angry within minutes, and finally ended up feeling guilty. Waverly had realized this had happened a few times before, specifically whenever Nicole spent time with her ex, and understood that this was what jealousy felt like. She didn’t like it.

Suddenly she saw how Chrissy was still looking at her expectantly. 

“Uh, what?” She’d forgotten the question.

“Why did you ask why I asked about Nicole?”

“Right.” Waverly cleared her throat, refusing to look at Chrissy’s mischievous smile. She had the same grin on her face as when she’d won over Jeremy in Trivial Pursuit. Waverly tried to ignore it.

“I’ve just been thinking about it,” she confessed. “A lot.”

“Thinking about it how?”

Chrissy really had to drag it out of her. Waverly wouldn’t make it easy.

She shrugged. “Just thinking. About her. And me.”

“And?” Chrissy stopped walking, demanding Waverly to come clean. “I told you about Robin, Waves. You owe me.”

Waverly raised an offended eyebrow. “That’s not fair, Chrissy! It doesn’t work that way.”

“Well, screw fair.” She was getting impatient now. “Waverly, you’ve been super weird ever since I asked. And today you’ve been even weirder! Did something happen?” She gasped, suddenly excited. “Did  _ you _ kiss as well?”

“No!”  _ I wish _ . “I just- I had a dream…”

Chrissy tried to waggle her eyebrows, failing epically. She looked more like a surprised muppet than anything else, but her point was clear. “A dream, huh?”

When would she stop blushing? Thank goodness for the cold winter air. 

“A  _ sex _ dream?” Chrissy pressed on when Waverly refused to answer. “About  _ Nicole _ ?”

The red rash creeping up Waverly’s neck was enough of an answer. She gulped. “Kind of.”

Chrissy was ecstatic. “I  _ knew _ it!” she said triumphantly.

“But  _ how _ did you know?” Waverly asked. How was it that Chrissy was able to puzzle out Waverly’s crush before she had even considered it?

“I dunno.” She shrugged. “As I said, you just looked super cute on the couch. All cuddly and adorable. I mean, I hadn’t heard anything about her and then she was there and you were just all over her.”

Waverly stared at her with huge eyes filled with guilt. 

“I mean, it’s okay! That you didn’t tell me. It’s okay. I just meant to say that you looked really comfortable next to her. Like you belonged, you know?”

She looked at Waverly who had started scraping the snow with her boot.

“It’s okay, Waves. You know that, right?” Her tone was softer now, more sincere. “I mean, if you like a girl.”

Waverly felt her voice breaking in her throat. Nodding was the only safe way to answer. 

Chrissy drew her in her arms and hugged her tightly. The emotions building up inside of Waverly’s tiny body were almost visibly overflowing.

She drew a ragged breath. “It’s just so much.” She choked.

“I know, Waves. I know.”

“I have enough on my mind without having to figure out my sexuality as well. And what if it  _ is _ just the hormones making me feel this way? What if the baby pops out and I just forget about her?”

Her voice was thick with tears.

Chrissy stroked her hair in a comforting way. “Do you think you will?”

Waverly shook her head against Chrissy’s scarf. 

"Well then.” She took a step back to smile reassuringly at Waverly’s wet face. “Waves, you won’t know before it does pop out, but that’s like -” She tried to count in her head but gave up. “- a  _ lot _ of months. Why don’t you just follow your gut and see what happens?”

Waverly wiped her face with the back of her glove. She swallowed thickly to prevent another ball of sobs and tears to escape. “But what if she doesn’t like me back?”

This was her real concern, she realized as she finally accepted her feelings to be true. What if she laid her heart out for Nicole and she turned her down?

But Chrissy shook her head. “You didn’t see her, Waves. The way she looked at you… She was absolutely smitten. Seriously,” she added when Waverly huffed in disbelief. 

Chrissy grabbed both of her hands and squeezed them firmly. “Look at us,” she grinned. “We should make a bet or something. Who gets kissed first.”

“You’re well on your way, then.” Waverly bumped her hip against Chrissy’s and grinned back just as broadly. It was fun talking about their crushes. Almost like old times. 

They continued their walk towards the city centre at a slower pace.

“So are you gay now?” Chrissy asked suddenly.

“Chrissy!” Waverly swatted her shoulder with an offended tone to her high-pitched voice. 

“I’m sorry. Are you a  _ lesbian _ ?”

She scowled at her before answering truthfully. “I don’t know.” She thought it over for a second, trying to collect all of her rambling thoughts from the last week. “I was with Champ for a long time, so I guess maybe I’m bi?”

The word felt strange in her mouth, like it didn’t belong. 

“Ugh, it feels weird to say it.”

They walked quietly for a bit, before Chrissy asked her next question. “Have you liked other girls before?” Apparently she had lined up all the things Waverly had been asking herself lately.

“Not that I can remember. But I think maybe I had a huge crush on Emma Watson when I was like, twelve. But who didn’t, right?”

“Yeah,” Chrissy agreed, nodding eagerly. “But I think maybe I wanted to  _ be _ her, not bone her.” She smirked. 

Waverly sighed. “Honestly, I think I wanted both.”

They kept bickering all the way to Peacemaker, where Chrissy hugged her goodbye. The police station was just a bit further.

Waverly went inside to find a waiting Wynonna. She was leaning against Waverly’s table, tapping her foot annoyed. There was a pizza waiting for Waverly, with leeks and mushrooms and sundried tomatoes and basil and mozzarella. It looked delicious. Waverly’s stomach growled in appreciation. 

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Wynonna snarked as Waverly sat down. “You’re like an hour late. I was worried.”

“Oh shit.” Waverly took her phone out of the pocket of her coat, checking the time. “I’m sorry, Wy. Chrissy was going to the station, so we walked together. And, well, we talked…”

“For  _ two hours _ ?”

“Hey! We had a lot to cover.”

“Doc made you dinner.  _ Veggie  _ no less. It’s got beans and shit.”

“Sorry…”

“And now it’s probably cold.”

Waverly reached for a slice. There was still some warmth left. “It’s still warm.” She took a bite. “Mmm, it’s yum.”

Wynonna scowled at her.

“You’re kinda needy for a lone wolf, you know,” Waverly said eventually.

Wynonna rolled her eyes. “Shut up.” And then she went back to the bar.

Waverly checked her messages. Wynonna had sent eight texts asking her where she was, with increasing rudeness. The last one read “for fucks sake waves if you dont get her asap im gonna call nedley on your ass”. Waverly sniggered.

There were a few notifications from Facebook (boring stuff), an email from the Yoga Club advertising for new yoga mats, and a text from Nicole.

Nicole [17.02]:  _ Hey, are you at Peacemaker? Wanna hang? _

Waverly fumbled quickly with her phone to send off a reply.

Waverly [17.28]:  _ I’m here now! Yes, please, I wanna hang _

Nicole was there within twenty minutes. By then there were only two pieces left of Waverly’s pizza. She was impressed by her own hunger.

Nicole slid into the booth on the opposite side of the table. Waverly immediately felt a pang of something hot and tingly in her chest. It left her wondering how she hadn’t noticed the way her body reacted to Nicole before.

A genuine smile broke out across her face, relieved at the sight in front of her. It had been too long.

“I missed you.” 

She hadn’t planned on saying it, but the words just slipped out of her. Luckily Nicole answered with a smile. 

“I missed you too.”

She grinned shyly. “You hungry?” She pushed the pizza to Nicole who reached for it eagerly. It was properly cold now, but still good. 

“Haught shit!” Wynonna spotted her new friend from across the basement door as she came carrying a crate of liquor. “It’s been ages!”

She put the crate down on the bar, got a glass bottle of Nicole’s favorite microbrew and shuffled over to their table. 

“Nicole has her midterm tomorrow,” Waverly said as Wynonna put the beer down in front of her, as if to say she shouldn’t be drinking.

“It’s alright, Waves.” Nicole forced down a big bite of pizza and reached for the bottle to swallow it down. “I always get a beer the night before my exams.”

Waverly looked at her incredulously. 

Nicole wiped at the corner of her mouth and explained. “I always just chill the day before and get one beer. To relax. I did it before my final Geography exam in high school and I nailed it, so I’ve been doing it ever since.”

Wynonna looked absolutely triumphant. “Hah!” she said and pointed at Waverly.

“What?” Waverly asked annoyed.

“There you go, you little neat freak.”

Wynonna laughed the entire way back to the bar, where Doc gave her a pointed look and sent her out to fetch empty glasses and pitchers from the deserted tables. 

Nicole gave one of her crooked smiles. “It helps me relax. Get my mind on other things.”

Waverly never wanted her mind on anything else than her exams when it was that time of year. She’d been pissed at Wynonna for blasting  _ Rush  _ until the speakers sputtered dangerously before her Chemistry test last week, and that wasn’t even an exam.

“Well, if it works for you…”

Nicole winked and took another sip. As she swallowed, her lips pursed together and the tip of her pink tongue peeked out for just a millisecond. Waverly stared at her lips, entirely transfixed by the small act. It made her cheeks go all warm.

She swallowed and blinked a few times to get her act together. 

“So,” Nicole said with a calm smile. She didn’t look at all like someone who had an important test tomorrow. “Long time, no see. What have you been up to?”

_ Thinking about you. _

“Oh, uh. Not much. It’s been really boring, really.”

“I don’t believe that.”

_ I had a dream about you. _

“Well, the morning sickness stopped,” she said.

Nicole lit up. “That’s great!”

Waverly nodded, satisfied that she was able to offer a semi-interesting answer. “How about you?”

“Studying mostly,” Nicole answered and started thumbing the label of her bottle. “Oh, and Shae and I went hiking.”

Waverly remembered the picture. She decided to at least  _ try  _ to put her resentment away. “How is she? After Amber, I mean.”

“She’s okay.” Nicole sighed. “She says it was all just fun, but I can tell she’s taking it a lot harder than she’s letting go. But she’ll be back in business in no time.”

“Good.”

Nicole refused to talk about her exam or her ex-girlfriend the rest of the evening, instead asking Waverly about her latest book,  _ The Girl Who Played With Fire _ . It was the second book in the  _ Millenium  _ series by Swedish crime novelist Stieg Larsson. Waverly had swallowed the first book in only two days, and spent the next day texting Nicole all the reasons why she should read it too. She’d been adamant to not spoil anything about the story, but had ended up giving away the plot twist at the end anyway.

Over an empty plate of pizza and a cold beer, Waverly was soon lost in her intricate analysis of the title character Lisbeth Salander, and Nicole was lost in the movement of her lips.

Time went by too quickly.

Waverly gave Nicole a hesitant hug when she got up to leave. “Good luck tomorrow,” she breathed as they parted. They were both reluctant to let go of each other, but Waverly could feel Wynonna watching them from across the room.

“Maybe you wanna meet again on Friday?” Nicole suggested. “When I’m finished with all my midterms?”

“I’d like that,” Waverly smiled.

With one last squeeze of her delicate hand, Nicole was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr @zaxagra for random reblogs of WE-gifs and other shit (my inbox is always open if you wanna rant over the too-short interaction between our favorite disasters in this chapter).
> 
> Leave a comment if you'd like, it makes my day a bit brighter!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let’s move into Nicole’s POV for a bit. She is proper mess now, and hopelessly in love with a certain Waverly Earp. We find her in her bed before her last midterm, trying to get to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of the chapter is heavily inspired by a few weeks before the summer, when I was having a hard time sleeping. My mind was racing almost like you can read in the chapter, and it didn’t really help when I figured it would be a fun thing to try for Nicole’s POV. 
> 
> Thanks as always to my wonderful beta @jorekbyrnison, and also to my gf for helping me out with some problems with phrasing.

“Take a deep breath. Notice how your chest expands as your lungs fill up with air.”

A calm voice with a pleasant Australian accent filled the dark room.

“We’re going to take a journey that is as effortless and natural as your breathing.”

Nicole was in her bed, desperately trying to sleep. She took a deep breath like the man in her meditation app suggested, and closed her eyes.

“Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.”

Her breath shuddered as she emptied her lungs. 

“Let your eyes close.”

Nicole quickly opened her eyes at the command and then closed them again.

_ Fuck, I’m already doing it wrong. _

“Search for any tension in your body and mind.”

_ There’s fucking tension everywhere. _

Nicole’s mind was buzzing. Her brain felt fried after a week of midterms. The last one was tomorrow, in Criminology. It was her favorite subject this semester, but damn if a midterm sucked anyway. 

Nicole noticed how her shoulders felt awkward as she was lying on her back. There was tension alright, lots of it. But she couldn’t seem to let it go. Her expensive memory foam mattress suddenly didn’t feel so comfortable.

“Take a deep breath in, inviting in growth and healing.”

She took a deep breath, filling her lungs so that her chest expanded deliciously.

“And when you are ready, letting go of any anger or resentment you carry within you.”

She exhaled with a sigh, feeling her chest deflating in the process. There was no anger inside her, was there? Resentment? Suddenly her mother popped up in her mind. Her fucking mother with her fucking demands and her controlling and  _ fuck _ . 

Nicole hadn’t opened any of the emails her mother had sent this week. She’d only replied a short “Thanks!” when her Dad had wished her good luck with midterms, swiftly ignoring his imploring request to answer her mother’s messages.

She took another breath and tried her best to blow away any thoughts of Jackie Haught with her next exhale. With great effort she returned to the Australian voice who she suddenly noticed had already carried on.

“Repeat this process, allowing yourself to drift into a deeper sense of relaxation.”

_ Shit, what process? The breathing? _

“And now, allow your body to remain totally relaxed. Turn your awareness to your body and let it inhabit your entire being.”

_ Back to the shoulders. How come lying supine is suddenly super uncomfortable? Relaxing, my ass. But I’m supposed to lie on my back, right? _

She debated changing her position, maybe turn on her side, but decided against it. 

“Begin listening to the rhythm of your breath. Do not try to change it. Instead, simply notice how it feels to let your respiration run automatically.”

The second Nicole started noticing the rhythm of her breath, it felt weird. Did she even have a rhythm? Suddenly breathing felt like the most difficult thing.

“You notice the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you breathe in and out, every breath taking you ever deeper into a feeling of peace.”

Nicole decided her “natural rhythm” didn’t work, and just went for a steady pace instead - natural or not. She tried to concentrate on the tape while mechanically breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth.

“You can feel the anxiety and tension you’ve been carrying with you melting into nothingness. From your scalp. Forehead. Eyes. Cheeks. Mouth. Jaw. And neck.”

There was a lot of tension in her forehead, but it was easy enough to let go of it, to let the muscles relax and the wrinkles smooth out. 

_ My neck though, impossible to relax. How am I supposed to let my neck sink further into the mattress? _

“...from your upper back, all the way down your spine.”

_ Shit, have we done the shoulders already? But I need to do the shoulders. _

“...your pelvis, your chest…”

_ All the way down my back and then up to my chest again? It would be more logical to go “upper back, chest”, and then “lower back, stomach”. _

“...your heart….”

_ How the fuck am I supposed to relax my heart? I don’t control my heart. _

“...your legs, knees, calves…”

_ Focus, Haught. _

“...all the way down to the tips of your toes.”

At least she nailed the toes.  _ Goodbye, toe-tension. _

“You are now completely free from all tension and anxiety.”

_ Well… _

“You are free and utterly relaxed. You are safe.”

_ Safe from what? _

“Take a moment to notice any changes in the way you hold your body.”

She did feel more relaxed, especially her facial features. But her shoulders were still oddly tense. She wiggled them up to her ears and tried to let them relax with a forced  _ huff _ . After three of these she decided this was as good as it was gonna get, and returned her attention back to the voice.

“As I count back from five, you will imagine that you are in a special place that is peaceful and calming.”

_ Shit, shit, shit, what place am I gonna choose. _

Nicole started searching her mind for a place that brought her peace.

“Five…”

She skipped any place in Toronto, even the gymnasium where she used to practice basketball three times a week, with the bleachers where she’d kissed a girl for the first time.

_ Emma Grace. _

“Four…”

Her apartment? It was home, but did it bring her inner peace? In that case she wouldn’t have to listen to this fucking tape, did she?

“Three…”

Waverly maybe? Sipping hot chocolate and watching the girl talk at Hetty’s, or conversing over Doc’s food at Peacemaker. Strolling through the park with soft snowflakes melting on her rosy cheeks, or waking up to the most gorgeous sight with the smell of Gus’ pancakes wafting in from the kitchen. 

Or seeing her in a hospital bed with a brace on her wrist. Or wanting to brush away the tears rolling down her chin but knowing she can’t brush away the feeling of despair. Or the storm of butterflies whenever her phone buzzed because maybe it was a text from the girl she liked so much, who she was quickly starting to realize that one day very soon that  _ like _ would turn into  _ love _ . 

Or the fact that Waverly was still in high school and she was gonna be a mother and what the hell could Nicole bring to  _ that  _ table? Shae would kill her if she ever told her about the pregnancy. And speaking of Shae, why the hell had she not told Waverly about their marriage? Her mother would surely pop an aneurism if she ever found out about Nicole following a high school student around like a damn puppy. Her dad would look at her with his big meaningful eyes and his bushy eyebrows and slightly shake his head if she told him she wanted to take care of Waverly’s child.

And did Waverly even  _ want _ Nicole to stick around? Would she allow her to care for her as her belly grew bigger, or after the birth? Had Waverly started to think of a future with Nicole in it, just like Nicole had started to consider herself in some sort of relationship with Waverly and her family? Was she even thinking about this stuff when there were so many other things she had to take care of?

“How does it feel to be in your safe space?”

_ Shit, the tape. _

“Where are you? What do you see? What can you hear?”

_ Dude, I don’t even know. _

“What can you smell?”

_ The flowery smell of Waverly’s shampoo. _

“Let the peace enter into your whole being.”

_ But what is my safe place? _

The voice in her app didn’t say anything more, only leaving the wavy music to fill her bedroom. It wasn’t pan flutes exactly, but some kind of synth playing simple chords shifting slowly but predictably. The sound was as relaxing as the comfortable bass voice of the Australian, but Nicole had failed to follow the instructions and her shoulders were tense and she could feel the crease between her eyebrows grow deeper again and her head was filled with impossible questions about the future. 

She lay paralyzed with internal chaos as the chords changed with a never-ending crescendo, at last succumbing to some sort of peaceful state where the low buzzing of her mind seemed to fade into the background.

When the Australian finally spoke again, instructing her to return to the room as he counted back from five once more, Nicole had already drifted off into a troubled sleep.

\---

“Heeeey, Nicole!” Shae pushed herself from the wall where she was waiting for Nicole to exit the classroom where her midterm was held. “You look like shit!”

“Well, thank you. Asshole.” She felt like shit, but still. 

“How’d it go?”

Nicole shrugged. “Okay, I think. Not super.”

“I got you a present.”

Shae lifted her giant handbag, shaking it so that something clanked inside. The unmistakable sound of two bottles of cold microbrew. A perfect post-exam tradition. Midterms weren’t exams though, Nicole thought, but she appreciated the gesture.

“Wanna check out the swimming pool?” Shae asked as they started down the corridor. “I think the girls’ water polo team is practicing.”

“What happened to the softball team?”

Watching the girls’ softball team running around in short shorts was part of the tradition.

“I slept with Jaz.”

Jaz was one of those girls.

“Shae…” Nicole shook her head. “I told you to stay away from the softball chicks. You’re only getting yourself into trouble.” Amber was on the softball team as well.

“Well, that’s why we’re gonna watch the swimmers instead.”

Nicole sighed, but followed her friend obediently.

They settled in the back corner of the bleachers inside the swimming hall. Shae sneakily took out the two bottles and popped the caps. Nicole threw a quick glance at the coach who was standing with his back towards them before taking a sip. They were obviously not allowed to drink inside the different sports arenas, but that hadn’t stopped them before. 

“Cheers,” Shae said and clinked their bottles together. 

“Oh, yeah. Cheers.” Nicole took another sip, gazing absentmindedly towards the pool where the girls were playing volleyball with a giant beach ball. 

“So, was it okay? The midterm. Was it stuff you knew?”

“Can we please not do the thing were we talk about how it went?”

Nicole’s tone was rather snappy.

“Jeez. Fine.” Shae turned to look at the girls as well, giving Nicole her space. But they both knew, Shae wasn’t the type of person to let anything go. Sure enough... “Who took a chunk out of your ass, then?”

Nicole looked at her, slightly disturbed by Shae’s choice of words. She would get along with Wynonna, for sure. “You’re so weird.”

Shae ignored the comment and kept looking at her until she answered.

“I just didn’t sleep well.”

“Nervous?”

“Wha-? No. No, it’s only midterms.”

“What then, wifey?”

Shae’s attempt at humour quickly backfired. 

“You gotta stop joking about that.”

“About what? Us being married? That’s frickin’ hilarious, Nicole. My favorite joke. You used to think so too.”

Shae sounded annoyed now, but Nicole was in no state to bring the conversation back to something pleasant. 

“Waverly asked about it,” she said slowly.

“What, about our dumb married-in-a-haze trip to Las Vegas?” Shae stretched out her long legs.

Nicole shook her head. “No, about you calling me  _ wifey _ .”

Shae stared at her for a few long seconds. “You haven’t told her.”

Nicole took another sip.

“Nicole, you haven’t told her?”

She shook her head shortly without looking at Shae.

“Dude, I told you to tell her.”

“I know.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I dunno, Shae.” They were lucky they had chosen the pool, because the echoing off the walls was the only thing that kept the two of them safe from the coach’s scowl. Nicole’s voice was bitter and sharp. “Maybe I didn’t want to tell the girl I’m in love with about my fucking  _ marriage _ . Maybe I thought that would put her off.”

Shae leaned back in her plastic seat. “She’s gonna be so mad.”

“I know,” Nicole sighed.

The water polo team was preparing for a practice match now, the girls strapping on those little helmets with the weird ears. 

“You should tell her, before it’s too late.”

“How?” Nicole asked desperately. “I’ve had two golden chances to tell her, but I chickened out. The last one was a straight-up lie.”

Shae swallowed a big gulp of beer. “What did you say?”

“I told her it was a weird nickname to piss off my mom.”

Shae considered the lie for a bit. “That’s not super far off, though, to be honest.”

Nicole raised an eyebrow at her.

“That’s kinda the reason you went for it, right?” Shae explained.

In retrospect, Nicole’s rational brain had indeed blamed the hurried wedding on her mother, but she had never told Shae that. The fact backfired horribly when it turned out her parents loved the thought of soon-to-be-doctor Shae Pressman as their daughter-in-law. A perfect match to their lawyer daughter.

Nicole presented a crooked smile and flashed a dimple all charming and suave. “I sorta loved you, you know.”

Shae winked and put her head on Nicole’s shoulder. “I know. I loved you too. Still do.”

They watched one of the red team’s players do a difficult underwater maneuver to dodge one of the white team’s defence players. She scored with a perfect lob. 

“So you’re in love with Waverly, huh?”

Nicole swallowed. The words had sort of slipped out of her and she hoped Shae hadn’t heard them, but nothing ever passed her unnoticed.

“You think she likes you too?” Shae asked. 

“Maybe. She told me she’d missed me.”

“I bet.”

Nicole emptied her bottle and put it on the tiled floor with a soft clink. She sighed. “We only met like six weeks ago.”

“So what?”

“So, is it real? It’s all gone so fast.”

“That doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” Shae pointed out.

“Yeah, I know, but…” Nicole trailed off.

Shae sat up from her position against Nicole’s shoulder. She looked at her squarely. “But you and I eloped after only two months and that turned to shit.”

“It didn’t turn to shit -” Nicole started, but Shae cut her off.

“Honestly, Nicole. I don’t regret it ‘cause I love you and you’re my best friend, but it was a fucking shit decision.” 

Nicole stared at her. “Same,” she said eventually.

“But this thing with Waverly is different, right? It’s better.”

Nicole swallowed. “It feels... More real, I guess.” It felt kinda cruel to admit to Shae how Waverly made her feel so much more than she had ever done.

“So what’s holding you back? I thought you were Nicole “When there’s something I like I don’t want to wait” Haught?”

Nicole laughed. She’d used that line when she first met Shae and she’d never heard the end of it.

Shae sniggered as well. “Seriously, what’s holding you back? Her age?”

“I just think she should be the one to make the first move.”

Shae raised an eyebrow. “Doesn’t sound like you.”

“Shae, come on. Give me a break.”  _ You don’t know her. _

“Well, does she at least know that you like her? So that if she wants to make the first move she knows she won’t be rejected?” She looked at her pointedly.

_ Fuck. Good point, Dr. Pressman. Good point. _

Shae looked a bit too pleased with herself when Nicole refused to meet her eyes. “Well, Haught, time to flash those dimples and tell her you love her.”

Nicole slapped her thigh mock-offended. 

Shae giggled. “Come on, lover, let’s get out of here.” 

Shae downed the rest of her beer and they collected their empty bottles. Water polo proved to be the perfect cover for a drink and a talk.

\---

Nicole was tired.

She was tired when she watched Shae place the 8-ball in one of the corner pockets of the pool table, making her the winner of the game.

She was tired when she swallowed down a sip of the lukewarm beer she’d been clutching while Shae and Wynonna got to know each other at the bar.

She was tired when Doc placed a plate of french fries in front of her with a wink and an “On the house” even though they had stopped serving food two hours ago.

But when Waverly Earp walked into the bar, her fatigue was forgotten, if only for a while.

With her splendid smile and the way her eyes became adorable crescents when she spotted Nicole slouching at the bar, she walked over, placing one long perfect leg in front of the other with  _ purpose _ . She flung herself around Nicole’s neck, almost making her stumble off the bar chair. Nicole felt stunned in Waverly’s clutch, not quite realizing what was happening after being in such a dozed off state for the last few hours.

Waverly retracted herself, still with her face split into a beautiful grin. “Congratulations! How did it go?”

Nicole gazed at her, her mouth awkwardly hanging open. Shae nudged her from where she was sitting behind her, and Nicole swallowed heavily. “It’s - Uhm, I -” She looked at her hands, lost for words. When she looked up again, Waverly was still waiting patiently for an answer. “Fine,” she concluded. “It went fine.”

“That’s great!” Waverly told her and drew out another chair for herself. “Criminology, right?”

Nicole nodded.

“Can you tell me about it?” Waverly asked with genuine interest. “Any good test questions?”

“Dude, are you serious?” Wynonna interrupted from the other side of the bar. “Baby girl, I know you’re this brilliant genius or whatever, but damn, let the girl rest.”

“Oh, shoot.” Waverly’s face went from “hungry for knowledge” to “worried she might have overstepped”. “I’m so sorry, you’re probably sick of the subject.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Nicole reassured with a tired smile. “I’m just exhausted.”

Waverly smiled pitifully and placed her hand on Nicole’s thigh, squeezing encouragingly. “Some other time, maybe?”

“Definitely.”

Waverly studied her face for a second. “Do you wanna go home and sleep? I mean, if you’re tired...” 

Nicole shook her head. “Nuh-uh. I wanted to see you.”

Waverly smiled again, making Nicole’s chest warm up. “Well, I gotta pee, so you’ll see me in a minute.”

Nicole watched the girl as she left for the toilet, and then caught Shae looking at her. “Dude, keep your pants on.”

Nicole looked around for Wynonna before she scolded Shae in an urgent whisper. “Shae, not here. I don’t want Wynonna to know.” The Earp sister was currently serving a table at the back of the establishment. “She’ll kill anyone who wants to date her sister.”

“I bet she does,” Shae said with a slewed smirk, eyeing Wynonna hungrily. 

“Shae, damn. Keep  _ your _ pants on.”

Shae only grinned at Nicole, but then turned serious again. “Nicole, come on. It’s super obvious that she likes you back. You should just tell her.”

Nicole shook her head. “No, not here.”

“Where then?”

“Not in a frickin’ bar.”

“So go outside,” Shae suggested.

“Seriously, stop it.”

“Why?”

Nicole sighed. “I want to -”

Shae finished her sentence. “You want to wait for the right moment and be all chivalrous and knight in shining armour.”

Nicole pursed her lips and stared sulkily at Shae. That was exactly what she wanted. “Yes,” she confessed.

“Well, then make that happen, O gentle sire.”

The door to the ladies room opened.

“Shut up,” Nicole hissed at an amused Shae. 

Waverly came over again and settled down, still radiating with happiness.

“So what did you do today?” Nicole asked innocently, ignoring Shae’s grin on her other side.

“Chrissy and I went shopping!” Waverly turned to find the two shopping bags she’d left on the floor. She started to pull out different items, not caring that she was not only in a crowded bar, but she was sitting at  _ the actual bar _ . Shae raised her eyebrows but Nicole only smiled fondly at Waverly’s enthusiasm.

She showed Nicole the super stretchy jeans she’d bought and made her feel the soft fabric of a comfortable cotton dress. She hesitated when she got to the bag of bras and finally realised how inappropriate it was to be showing her new lingerie to A) the girl she had a crush on and B) the entirety of Peacemaker. Her cheeks were slightly tinged when she quickly shoved the clothing back into the bags. 

“They look great, Waves. Super comfy,” Nicole told her.

Waverly nodded. “You know, I really dreaded the maternity clothes, but they’re actually really cute.” She was prepared to find oversized t-shirts and huge pants with broad elastic bands, but they had seen nothing but pretty and fashionable clothes.

“Ooh, I gotta show Wynonna.” Waverly scooched the chair back and gathered her bags before hurrying over to the back room where Wynonna had just disappeared.

“Okay. First of all, inappropriate,” came the sniding comment from Shae. “Second of all, she’s pregnant?”

Nicole turned to her with an alarming scowl. “First of all, she’s young,” she whispered harshly. “And second, keep your voice down.”

“What? Is it a secret?” Shae asked with equally sharp whispers. “How far is she?”

Nicole shrugged. “Three months or something.”

Shae shook her head slowly. “Nicole, this is a mess. Do you wanna date a pregnant girl?”

Nicole refused to answer. She’d dreaded the day that Shae would find out, afraid of what her reaction might be.

“What’s the future here, Nicole? Are you gonna be a  _ mommy  _ too?”

“Shae…”

She looked at her. Her ex-girlfriend. Her best friend. She wouldn’t understand. She couldn’t. Not this. Not Nicole’s love for a messed up girl who got herself knocked up. But Waverly wasn’t messed up. She was perfect. 

“Nicole, think this through,” Shae pleaded softly.

“I have!”

Shae stared at her hard. “You have to consider this, Nicole, for real.”

“Shae, I have. For real. I’ve known about it from the first time we met, okay? I know what the deal is.”

Shae sighed, visibly disappointed. She was usually so supportive of whatever Nicole chose to do. She didn’t always agree - of course not, but she would always stand by her no matter what. But this time Nicole wasn’t so sure. Shae’s eyes were full of despair, clearly begging her to  _ not _ do this,  _ not  _ make this decision about her future,  _ please _ . 

Just then Nicole’s phone started buzzing. She’d put it on the bar earlier because it didn’t really fit in the pocket of her skinny jeans. The two of them looked at the display.  _ Jackie Haught. _

Shae looked at Nicole and Nicole looked at Shae, not answering the phone. They didn’t say a word until the buzzing stopped.

“She’s gonna kill you,” Shae said eventually.

“I know.”

Shae excused herself from the bar when Waverly returned, visibly upset with Nicole’s poor life choices. 

“Is she alright?” Waverly asked with a glance at the door where Shae had left. The cold outside was almost tangible. Dolls quickly shut the door.

“Yeah. It’s just -” Nicole shrugged. “Just stuff.”

“Okay,” Waverly nodded. 

The tone of their conversation never really returned to the cheerful mood Waverly had brought with her from outside. Nicole retracted into herself, with Shae’s disappointment occupying her mind. Waverly finally admitted defeat.

“So, uh. I think maybe I’m gonna go. I’m tired, and, well, you are too, right? So, yeah.”

Nicole nodded somberly. “Yeah...”

She watched as Waverly started to pull on her coat. 

Just as she was reaching down to gather her backpack and shopping bags, Nicole thought of something. “Hey, Wave, is Wynonna driving you?” 

Waverly shook her head. “No, she’s got the late shift. Dolls’ll take me.”

“Oh, okay.” Nicole had secretly hoped that Waverly would walk, and then she could suggest to walk her home safely. But this was probably better. It was almost an hour walk to where Waverly lived, and then she’d have to walk all the way back again. Plus, she was tired.

She pulled on her own coat and gathered her things. “I’ll text you then.”

Waverly smiled and nodded. She looked tired too. 

They walked to the door, where Dolls was sitting on his usual chair. He got up when he noticed the two of them approaching.

“You ready, Dolls?” asked Waverly.

“Yes. Let me just get my coat. You got the keys?”

Waverly showed them to him. He nodded and turned to the back room. Waverly gestured at the door and followed Nicole outside and to the small parking lot behind the establishment. 

“Bye, then,” Waverly said with a shy voice as they arrived at the red truck. It was Curtis’ old pick-up truck, inherited by Waverly after he died, but now it was almost exclusively used by Wynonna.

“Wave,” Nicole started, stepping closer. The evening had taken a weird turn after Shae found out about the pregnancy. It was supposed to be a happy evening, a celebration that they could finally hang out again. “I’m sorry everything got so weird.”

Waverly looked up at Nicole’s face curiously, waiting for her to elaborate.

“It’s just Shae didn’t know you’re pregnant.”

“You hadn’t told her?” She scrunched her eyebrows. 

“No, of course not. It wasn’t my secret to share.”

“Oh.” Waverly looked down at her shoes. “I wouldn’t mind if you’d told her. I think I’m ready for people to know now.”

Nicole smiled. “That’s great.”

“So, was she, I dunno... Mad, or something?” Waverly swallowed.

Nicole stretched out her hand and put it against Waverly’s cheek. “She was just being Shae.”

Waverly frowned at her. What did that mean?

“Surprised, I think.”

Waverly swallowed again. “Okay.” She’d mostly had positive reactions to her pregnancy and the choice to keep the baby, but they were all from her closest friends and family. Champ had blown a fit when she told him, of course. She wasn’t really prepared for what the rest of the world would think.

“Don’t worry about her, Waves, she’ll come around,” Nicole told her, misinterpreting Waverly’s silence. 

Waverly nodded again. 

Nicole took another step closer, so that they were almost flush against each other. She lowered her forehead so that it was leaning against Waverly’s. They were so close.

“You know I’m here for you, right? As long as you want me, I’ll be by your side.” Her voice was low and rough, but very steady. 

Waverly could feel Nicole’s breath against her cheek that wasn’t covered by the gloved hand. Suddenly she realized that she was holding her breath. Nicole’s lips were right there, only inches from her own. Their faces were already connected through their foreheads, Nicole’s hand already cupping her cheek. It would only take a tiny movement to connect their lips as well. She breathed out, raggedly, trying to regain a steady respiration. It wasn’t easy when she was right there, smelling all  _ Nicole _ . 

“Hey, sis! You forgot your scarf!”

Wynonna’s voice sliced like a sniper through the cold air. Waverly hadn’t noticed the freezing temperature really, but now that the magic spell was broken, everything seemed chill and frigid. Especially when Nicole took a quick step back and Waverly lost all the heat from her body and her hand. 

Wynonna came jogging across the pavement with her arms crossed in front of her chest. She hadn’t put on a coat and was regretting the decision. 

“Thanks,” Waverly said roughly. Her voice suddenly felt unnatural. 

Wynonna threw the scarf around Waverly’s shoulders and gave her a quick peck on the forehead. The same one Nicole had been leaning against seconds earlier. 

“Bye, nerds,” she greeted and jogged back again, hurrying to get back to the warmth. Canadian winter sucked. 

Waverly and Nicole only had a second to glance shyly at each other before Dolls was there. 

“Sorry,” he said. “I had to sort out some trouble.”

Whatever the trouble was, he seemed unfazed by it. He climbed into the truck and waited for Waverly to say goodbye to Nicole. 

“Uhm, I’ll see you?” Waverly said nervously.

Nicole tried for a reassuring smile, but she didn’t quite manage it. Her brain was still on high-alert. 

“Okay, bye,” Waverly said when Nicole didn’t respond. She turned around to open the passenger door and slid into the car.

“Bye,” Nicole said finally, just as Waverly closed the door. She watched the car back out of the parking lot and onto the road, with Waverly giving a tiny wave. And then she was left alone, dazed and confused, in the cold of night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s not a slow burn until they almost kiss, right?   
> Come yell at me on tumblr @zaxagra if you (dis)agree


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shae acts as the sensible person and asks some hard-hitting questions. Our favorite lovebirds go for a run (at separate ends of town) and we get to learn some of Nicole's backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I regret not naming my chapters. This would've been called "Weeds and wildflowers". Who knows, maybe I'll go back and change the titles.
> 
> Thanks as always to my wonderful beta and friend @jorekbyrnison

Shae was pacing back and forth across Nicole’s living room floor. Nicole sat on the couch with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands, following the woman’s movements with her eyes. 

“I mean, have you  _ really  _ thought about it? About what the future will be like if you choose to be with this girl?”

“Yes,” Nicole grumbled again. They’d been at it for an hour already. Shae had shown up at her door with black coffee and all-grain bagels, some sort of peace offering before the battle began. The battle for Nicole’s heart.

“You know, she did have a choice in this and she  _ chose  _ to have a baby. But you…” Shae stopped her agitated march and turned her pleading eyes to Nicole. “You still have a choice. You can still back down.” 

“I know that,” Nicole answered, almost bored. Shae had used the same arguments over and over, trying different formulations but never finding a point that even slightly impaled Nicole’s resolution.

“But what will the future be then? She has a kid and you are some kind of step-mother? Is there a third parent? A father, maybe?”

“Not even Waverly knows what the logistics of it all will be. How would  _ I  _ know?”

Shae started pacing again, searching for new angles. “Are you just doing this to upset your mother again?”

Nicole finally stood up. “Jesus,” she said, properly offended this time. “Shae, can you  _ please  _ believe me when I tell you I did in fact want to marry you, if only for a little while. And I want to be with Waverly too, but it isn’t just up to me, okay?” She walked to where Shae had stopped in her tracks and put her hands on the sides of her shoulders, holding her in place. “I cannot decide everything here, Shae. Maybe this will never happen, maybe Waverly doesn’t want me and that will be it.”

“You don’t believe that,” Shae whispered. 

An image of last night flashed through Nicole’s mind. Her hand on Waverly’s cheek, their breaths mingling, Waverly turning her head just so.

“I  _ hope _ she wants to be with me,” Nicole told her honestly, her heart suddenly pounding a hundred miles an hour. She tried to force the thrill of the memory away. “But seriously, you’re getting so far ahead.”

Shae shook her head. She didn’t agree even a little bit.

“Shae, who knows what will happen,” Nicole said again.

“No. You can’t just brush it off like that. Like it’s something that may or may not happen. Like it’s not important.” She sighed heavily and shook her head, still with those saddened eyes. “This is life-changing, Nicole, and you have to be prepared for it.”

Nicole let her arms fall to her sides. She really had to restrain herself from bursting into anger. Why couldn’t Shae just be happy for her?

“I can’t prepare for something that might not happen,” Nicole insisted, clearly annoyed.

“Of course you have to prepare for it.” Shae scoffed, raising her hands in desperation. “We prepare for stuff that might not happen  _ every frickin’ day _ . Don’t wanna get cold? Bring a jacket, just in case. Don’t wanna die in a car accident? Air bags! Don’t wanna get pregnant? Use a frickin’ condom.”

Those last words sounded harsh, pronounced with a mean snarl. Shae immediately knew she had gone too far when a hurtful look washed over Nicole’s face and she turned away from her. She took a few steps towards the kitchen and drew a deep breath to try and collect herself. Shae taking a jab at Nicole was one thing, but insulting Waverly like that? 

“You don’t even know what happened,” she said slowly, almost inaudible.

Shae sat down on the pouf with a face full of guilt. She knew she had overstepped. “I know. I’m sorry.”

She watched as Nicole steadied herself against the breakfast bar before she picked up the thread again, kinder now. “I just mean to say, you have to consider the kid in all of this.”

Nicole’s hands went up to wipe her face. She looked tired. 

“Are you gonna be a mom for Waverly’s kid?” Shae continued. “Are you gonna change its diapers and teach it how to play basketball?”

She kept pressing on. Maybe she thought Nicole’s fatigue would allow cracks to form in her defence. Maybe she was just frustrated. Her voice was softer when she spoke again. “Nicole, I know you wanna have kids. Someday, in the future. But this is  _ right now _ .”

“This isn’t about me wanting kids or not, Shae, and you know it. This is about me and Waverly.” Nicole’s defence remained steady.

“You and Waverly and  _ her child _ ,” Shae insisted.

Nicole flung her arms in the air. “So be it, then. I’ll take it if it’s part of the deal.” 

“So you’re gonna live here, forever?” asked Shae. “No moving back to Toronto to be a lawyer and take over the company?”

“I. Don’t. Want. To. Be. A. Lawyer,” Nicole snarled with clenched teeth.

Shae looked at her as if she had actually turned crazy. “They’ll disown you.”

“Then fucking let them.” The truth came rambling out of her mouth now, hitting hard. 

“You don’t want that.”

“I want my family to support me, damn it. Not force me into something I don’t want.” 

Bringing her parents back into the mix was a terrible mistake. It was the final spark to ignite the anger bottled up inside of her. Nicole wanted to scream and curse and kick a whole into the fucking wall, but she managed to keep it all inside, her trembling fists and flaring chest the only indicators of her disgust. 

Shae must have seen her reaction, but carried on either way. Better to just get it all over with. 

“So you’re gonna give up a safe future with a steady income and a good name for some teenager with a kid?” Shae tsked disapprovingly. “This isn’t another detour to delay the inevitable?”

“You know I never wanted that life,” Nicole implored desperately. Shae knew better than anyone. Had she never believed Nicole in this?

Shae gave her a second to breath, letting the thought of Toronto and the Haught legacy fade away. It was only when Nicole’s fist unclenched that she asked in a softer voice, “Do you want  _ this  _ life, though?”

Nicole sat down on the pouf. “I want to at least  _ try _ this life. Maybe it’s shit.” She chuckled.

Shae looked at her, searching for truth. 

“I only know I have never felt this way about anyone,” Nicole started, her voice a bit unsteady. “And I know we haven’t even kissed or whatever, but it is everything I want. I want to-” She shook her head, trying to find the right words. “I  _ need _ to see where this goes.”

She looked at Shae with those big emotional eyes, raw with feeling. Her chest laid bare to reveal her innermost desires, her heart pounding with love for  _ Waverly _ .

Shae finally sat down on the couch. “So you’re either gonna be heartbroken or become a mother.” It wasn’t a question, it was simply the truth. Whatever way this played out it would result in one of the two. “Well,  _ step _ -mom.”

Nicole sighed heavily, relieved that Shae had come to some sort of acceptance. “I guess so.”

\---

After Shae had left for a weekend study session at the library, Nicole was itching all over. She wanted to see Waverly again, maybe see if they could continue whatever they had started last night. But her body felt on fire and her mind was all over the place. She decided to go for a run, to clear her head a little. 

She’d been running semi-regularly since her bump-in with Waverly. That was six weeks ago, she realized as she took a turn off the main road. She was following the same path through the park where she’d been with Waverly that one time, only this time she was wearing her running shoes instead of heavy winter boots. 

It was easier to think with her blood pumping and her feet rhythmically hitting the fine gravel on the thin path. Nicole had some things to consider after her talk with Shae, but at least it had resulted in a plan. Well, a sort of-plan. The plan was ‘go for it’, whatever that meant. The point was, it felt nice to have spoken the words out loud. 

Like the time she had come out to herself. 

She thought back to her fifteen year old self, lying in her bed at three in the morning, telling herself to just say it. And when she finally opened her mouth and spoke the words “I’m gay” to the dark room she felt so incredibly relieved. For weeks, maybe even months leading up to that fateful night she had been frightened. Scared of what might come when she finally spoke her truth. But when she said the words she'd only felt liberated. A fifteen year old Nicole lay in her bed in the darkness and pronounced again and again "I'm gay". And for every repeat of the words her smile grew bigger. She’d felt so brave and empowered and hopeful for the future.

And now she was at the crossroads of that future.

No matter how much she resented it, the image in her head had always lead her down a neatly cobbled road with a clear destination. At the end of the road was her own family. Haught and Sons. Her mother and father. Toronto. She’d effectively put some dents in the road - there were cobblestones missing and there was the occasional bump - and she’d put a lot of effort into a couple of detours. One was labeled ‘Gap Year’. Another - the one she was on now - was called ‘Ghost River University’. They weren’t part of the main road, but they all led back to that neat lane, going straight ahead. 

The cobbled road had always been very clear, from the first time she had learned about her destiny. Her father had taken her to the office and told her the story about the firm, how his grandfather had founded it after breaking with another law firm,  _ Cervus _ . He’d employed his two sons. Benjamin had just gotten his law degree and Samuel was still attending school. “They built the empire,” her father had said, pointing to an old black and white photograph of the original Haught and sons. Benjamin became a very successful lawyer and made the pass to financial law. When he eventually died he was rich and famous, but all alone. Little brother Samuel on the other hand, had a very successful marriage with his loving wife Anita, but they only had one son. Christopher Haught had been brought up in Haught and Sons, and eventually married one of the apprentices, Jackelyn Steen. They became partners in life and in business, never quite managing to keep the two from intermingling. Even when they had their daughter, Nicole.

She knew the office building inside out. Her parents had brought her there from the second she was born. Everyone loved the chubby baby with fiery hair and stubborn fists. When she started school, her father’s assistant Susan would always pick her up and bring her to the office canteen. She’d eat dinner and do her homework, and her parents would give her a soft touch on the head when they passed her spot at Susan’s desk. They didn’t have much time for her until high school, when she got her summer job at the firm, making coffee and archiving long-forgotten case files. Her father would invite her to eat lunch in his office every Friday and tell her about staff issues, economic struggles or particularly intricate cases, sitting like a king on his throne behind the desk that would someday belong to Nicole. She’d rather just play basketball with her friends. 

When she went abroad for her gap year, her father just shrugged and told her mother “she just has to test those wings of hers before she settles”, but her mother started to keep a tight leash on her. Nicole hated it. The tighter the leash, the more she pulled against it. Going to Ghost River was the longest battle they’d fought, with Nicole eventually escaping with victory in her arms. Her Uncle’s good reference was the final straw that tipped the argument into her favor. 

She knew it was temporary. She knew she was supposed to go back to that perfect road again soon. With all her effort to sway from it, that road had always been her destiny.

But now Waverly had gone and set off a grenade in the middle of it. There was a big hole now, slicing the road in two. It was so tempting to steer to the left and go off-piste instead of jumping over the smoking crack that Waverly’s grenade had left. Because there was a contour forming on the side of the road. A contour of a different path. Not cobbled, but laced with tiny twigs and snippers of tree bark. Even pebbles and fine grains of sand. There were weeds, sure, but it looked pretty nonetheless. Like the weeds belonged, too. Weeds and wildflowers side by side. 

The new path had twists and turns - it wasn’t at all like the neat cobblestones of the more familiar road. Nicole couldn’t quite see where it went and where it stopped, but it looked inviting and kind. 

It would be easy to just follow along the cobbled lane. She knew what she would see along the way, what the destination looked like. The other path could go either way. It could end terribly or beautifully.

“Heartbreak or mother.” Those were her options.

If she was completely honest she hadn’t really thought about becoming a sort of step-mom to this child, no matter what she had just told Shae. Nicole had merely decided she would be there for Waverly every step of the way. It never crossed her mind that this would have implications for the kid as well. 

Champ’s kid.  _ Ew. _

But also Waverly’s. Beautiful, soft Waverly. So kind, so incredibly smart. So caring.

Waverly would be a perfect mother. And maybe Nicole would be one too. Well, maybe not perfect. 

_ But better than Champ fucking Hardy. _

She wasn’t so sure about his involvement in all of this. Waverly didn’t seem to know exactly what his role would be and maybe that was something to be considered over time. But Nicole secretly didn’t want to share the parentage of this wonderful child with someone so goddamn annoying as Champ.

_ Don’t get ahead of yourself _ , she reminded herself as she took another turn, passing the closed park café. It was best to keep it simple at this stage. Step 1: Waverly. After that she could consider what step 2 and 3 would be, sorting out all of these family relations. 

Nicole couldn’t keep a glowing smile from erupting on her face when she remembered something Shae had said. It had been intended to turn on flaring alarms in Nicole’s head, but when the words popped up in her mind as she was nearing the end of her run, they served quite the opposite purpose. Because the thought of teaching Waverly’s child to play basketball outside Gus’ garage was nothing short of a perfectly framed picture.

\---

On the other side of town, Waverly was running as well. Jogging wasn't really her favorite way to stay fit, but she'd been sitting around in the house the entire day listening to Wynonna grumbling something about Doc, and she just had to get out. She’d tried several different angles asking Wynonna what had happened with Doc, but she wouldn’t budge. Waverly could feel herself starting to snap at her moody sister and decided she would just leave her alone for a bit. So she went and got some air.

Her head was chaos. Again.

It was filled with thoughts of Nicole Haught. Of how her dimples popped when she smiled. Of how she smelled when she was standing close. Of how her delicate lips had been  _ right there _ . 

The urge to just reach out and kiss her had been overwhelming. Waverly wondered if she would have been able to resist the temptation if Wynonna hadn't interrupted them. A second longer and maybe today would have felt a lot different...

The thought made her breath hitch, which was ironic as she was running and breathing very heavily. When she reached the street corner, she took a minute to gather her senses and figure out which way to go next. She decided on a short lap around the neighbourhood, through to the little playground at the end of Chrissy’s street and back again across the edge of the forest. 

_ What now? _ she thought as she started moving again, her head returning to Nicole.

Should she text her? Ask her to come over? And then what? Try to actually kiss her this time? But Wynonna was home and Waverly didn't want to bring Nicole into the house with her sister's foul mood.

She could just wait for Nicole to make contact. But what if she didn't?

Maybe Nicole thought that Waverly didn't want this, that she wasn’t into her. Or maybe she didn't want to put pressure on Waverly. She was considerate like that.

Whatever the case, Waverly knew that the ball was in her court. She was the one who was inexperienced, after all. She was the one who was so-called straight. Nicole wouldn't want to overstep.

No, it was up to Waverly to get this train going, if that was indeed what she wanted.

_ It was. _

_ Right? _

Waverly nodded and curled her fist as she stormed up the small hill towards the playground. She was going for it.

The planner had planned. Waverly was gonna show Nicole what she wanted. And what she wanted was Nicole.

\---

_ Waverly  _ [18.31]: Hey, you wanna come over for dinner on Monday? Wynonna is out.

_ Nicole  _ [18.33]: I’d love to :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think about Shae? I needed someone to push Nicole a bit on her infatuation with (pregnant) Waverly and I figured Shae was the perfect person to do this. But I feel like she walks a very fine line between being supportive and being a bit... mean. What do you think?
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! The original plan was to have 40 chapters, but I think we all know this is gonna go beyond that. As 2BeBrazen commented last week: "nothing may happen until the kid is in first grade or high school".
> 
> Leave a comment if you are so inclined! You're also welcome to give me a rant on tumblr @zaxagra


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole comes over for dinner (Waverly is making risotto!), and there's all kinds of tension...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really loved hearing all your thoughts about Shae on the last chapter! Thanks so much :)
> 
> As always, a big thank you to my friend slash beta @jorekbyrnison! And also my girlfriend (I put her on comma duty again) <3

School is an interesting affair when your head is somewhere else. Everything just seems to happen around you, and you’re not really part of it.

At least that was what Waverly felt like as she was sitting in fourth period. Mr. Malick was absent today, and the substitute teacher had done what substitute teachers do best: put on a movie that was slightly covering a tiny part of their current curriculum and lean back to take a nap in the back of the dark classroom. It suited Waverly and the rest of the class fine. Spring break was coming up in three short weeks and it was the only thing the senior years could talk about.

Waverly’s mind was somewhere else entirely though, more along the lines of red hair and soft dimples. She was sitting with her chin in her hand, numbly gazing at the screen where soldiers carrying old-timey guns were walking through a yellow crop field, when someone tapped her shoulder.

“Hey, Wave, are you coming to Jake’s trip too?”

It was Betty, one of the cheerleaders. Apparently she had forgotten all about Waverly’s eviction from the “jocks and cheerleaders”-group. Her smile was kind and her eyes heartfelt and it made Waverly stumble in her train of thought.

“Uh -” She didn’t know how to respond. Jake was the senior class vice president and had taken on a great deal of responsibility with planning the grad formal in lieu of Waverly’s recent absence. (She reminded herself to get on top of that as soon as possible.) Over the weekend, Jake had also sent out an email to all 12th grade students to invite them to the Lake Resort that belonged to his Grandfather. Waverly had merely noted the email in her inbox and hadn’t given it an extra thought. She’d been rather occupied with scrolling through articles titled “What to buy before the baby arrives” and “Food to Avoid in the Second Trimester”.

“Everyone’s invited,” beamed Betty, still waiting for Waverly’s answer.

“I haven’t really thought about it,” said Waverly, truthfully. She gave Betty an apologetic half-smile, but Betty’s joy didn’t waver.

“I hope you come!” she said and turned back to her friends who were already discussing sleeping arrangements.

_ Wow _ , thought Waverly. A sudden nugget of sunlight lit in her chest. The light had been absent, she realized, for quite some time. She used to love hanging out with her classmates, planning parties and get-togethers and other events that would unite the school. She used to be on every VIP-list to any party held by her fellow students, but with all the drama with Champ and Stephanie, Waverly had settled with not being part of the school’s social group anymore. But Betty seemed to really want her there. And Jake  _ had _ invited her along with the rest of the students. Maybe she could persuade Chrissy and Jeremy and Robin to come too. It could be fun, right?

The substitute teacher awoke with a snore when the bell suddenly rang. Waverly packed her bag and followed the class out to the hallway. Betty turned to smile and waved goodbye, and Waverly tried to return the gesture, but it felt awkward and out of practice. “See you tomorrow,” she called instead, before her head returned to more pressing matters. 

The faint blush on her cheeks and the nervous flutter of her heart made her forget everything about Betty and Spring Break and whatever movie had played in the background for the last hour. Because tonight was her big night with Nicole.

\---

Waverly felt… good. Hot even.  _ Sexy _ .

She was dancing around in the kitchen, singing along to the radio (“I love you like a boomerang, boomerang”). Her form-fitting skirt and cinnamon-colored crop top showed off her hips and tummy. 

Her pregnant belly was quite obvious now. At least when she wasn’t covering it up with big sweaters and coats. Of course, Waverly had noticed how her belly was growing quite consciously. The first sign had been her inability to hold in her stomach as she shuffled through the tight parking lot at school, but Chrissy had told her she couldn’t see anything when Waverly quietly asked her about it on their way to first period.

That was two weeks ago though. 

The other night, however, Waverly had been checking out her stomach in front of the mirror. She was studying herself in profile in only her underwear when Wynonna barged in. “Damn, you can see it now,” was her only response as she was gaping dumbfoundedly at Waverly’s naked stomach, until Waverly shooed her out. She decided to step up the sweater-game another notch after that (thank goodness for the cold weather).

But today was different. When Waverly got home from school and opened her closet, her eyes landed on what used to be her favorite skirt. It was black vegan leather with buttons down the front. It obviously didn’t fit her new shape, but she had another black skirt with an elastic waistband that gave the same impression. The crop top did show off her belly, but Waverly chose it anyway. It was comfortable and nice, and she wanted to dress up for her evening with Nicole. Besides, Nicole knew about the growing belly and, for some reason, Waverly really wanted her to see it. 

With her outfit ready, Waverly went to spend a good hour in the bathroom, perfecting her hair and make-up. It had truly been ages since she’d spent this much time on her looks. She used to love that stuff. Apparently, she still did.

With all the dressing up, Waverly was surprised how on schedule she still was with dinner. 

The smell coming from the stove was to die for. Waverly had found a video a while back explaining how easy it really was to make risotto, and she had already tested it three times, turning it into one of her signature dishes. It was the obvious choice for tonight. She had diced onions and roasted her chestnut mushrooms and made a delicious vegetable broth, and now the whole thing was coming together in the pan, arborio rice and all. There was a lit candle on the kitchen table, with the rest of the lights on dimmer, and the table was set.

She was just cutting up some fresh cherry tomatoes for a simple salad when the door suddenly opened.

“Shit, it smells good. What’s for dinner?” Wynonna came strolling into the kitchen, sniffing the air and looking rather nonchalant.

Wynonna was supposed to be at work, leaving the house empty for Waverly and her guest.  _ Was it a date? _ The question had popped up in her head several times today. She didn’t really know the answer, but it sure felt like a  _ yes _ .

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Waverly asked with a nervous voice. She couldn’t decide if she was angry about the sudden disruption or afraid of what Wynonna might think about this sort-of kind-of date.

“Well, I was, but now I’m here,” Wynonna answered with an airy tone, settling on a kitchen chair.

“But…” Waverly looked around the room in desperation. “I’m having someone over and we were supposed to be alone and I made dinner and -”

“Hold on.” Wynonna held up a hand to stop the nervous rambling. “Are you having a  _ boy _ over for dinner?” She grinned like a goddamn demon, looking between the candle on the table and the guilty face of her sister.

Waverly’s cheeks were instantly red. “No, I -”

“Is it Jeremy?” Wynonna asked, leaning further over the kitchen table. “‘Cause I always thought, you know…” She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Waverly wrinkled her nose. “No, that would be… weird.”

“Who is it then? Someone I should have a, you know,  _ sisterly _ talk to?”

Waverly wondered what that even meant, but decided it couldn’t be anything good. “No, it’s just Nicole,” she finally admitted. Except she wasn’t  _ just _ Nicole, she was  _ Nicole _ . But Wynonna didn’t need to know that.

“Oh.” Wynonna sat back again, clearly disappointed. “Well, Nicole’s my buddy, you know, my gal pal.” 

Waverly cringed. 

“So, I’ll just join you then!”

“Wynonna,” Waverly growled, but before she could threaten her sister further, the doorbell rang. She looked quickly at the stove and then towards the hallway. “Check the food,” she bit at her sister and then headed towards the door.

She took a moment to collect herself before opening. Wynonna was here now, and they just had to deal with that. Did it ruin the evening? Quite possibly. Did Waverly maybe not get to kiss Nicole tonight? Probably yes. But it was still dinner and it was still Nicole, so maybe it could be a nice evening anyway.

She put on her signature smile and took another deep breath before she opened the door. 

Nicole was there, dimples and all. Her hair was put up in a ponytail instead of her usual braid and she had a bottle in hand. It looked very much like red wine, but -

“It’s non-alcoholic,” Nicole rushed when she saw Waverly’s frown. “Because, well, I wanted to bring something, and wine is customary, right? But then, well… And then… The lady in the shop said this one was good,” she concluded rather awkwardly.

Waverly smiled. “It’s perfect.”

Nicole was so mature compared to anyone she had ever dated. Very much a gentlewoman. Although she did look quite displaced as she stepped into the hallway with a sheepish smile on her face.

“Hi,” she said once she was inside. She was standing very close to Waverly, who for some reason hadn’t moved to give her space when she entered. So now they were only a foot apart, close enough so that Nicole had to look down to catch Waverly’s eye. She touched the sleeve of Waverly’s crop top. 

“You look beautiful.”

Waverly smiled, with her chest heating up like a damn radiator. But then she remembered Wynonna in the kitchen and her smile faltered. 

“Wynonna is here,” she admitted.

“Oh.” The disappointment was apparent on Nicole’s face.

“I dunno why, I think maybe something happened at work.”

Nicole studied Waverly’s face for a moment. There was sadness there, and guilt. “We’ll take care of her then,” she said. 

How could this woman get even more perfect? Wanting to care for Wynonna when she had effectively ruined their evening? Not even Waverly was that good a person.

Nicole handed her the bottle and zipped down her heavy winter coat to reveal a dark blue button-up carefully tucked into her black skinny jeans. She looked breathtaking. 

Waverly had to control her breathing as Nicole turned to hang up her coat and then bent down to take off her winter boots. 

_ Don’t embarrass yourself, Waves. _

When they entered the kitchen, Wynonna was sitting on the counter next to the stove, stirring absentmindedly in the pan while scrolling her phone. When she noticed Nicole, her eyes lit up with joy and she pushed herself off the countertop.

“Damn, you look Haught as hell! Are you going on a date or something?”

This time it was Nicole’s turn to turn red. “Uh, no,” she stumbled and glanced nervously to Waverly.

Wynonna had mentioned this being a date twice now, but didn’t seem able to put the pieces together. Waverly was rather relieved. 

“Ooh, and you bought booze,” Wynonna exclaimed as she grabbed for the bottle in Nicole’s hand. “You know, I’m not much of a wine-girl, but I’ll take anything as long as -”

She stopped abruptly as she examined the label. Then she looked up at Nicole with horror and disgust on her face.

“This is -”

She couldn’t even say the word.

“It’s non-alcoholic,” Nicole offered helpfully. 

Wynonna almost barfed.

“But that’s just -” She struggled for words. “That’s just grape juice!”

Nicole chuckled. “I don’t really know, I’ve never tasted it before. But maybe you’re right.” 

“Why would you even -”

“Well, Wave can’t have any.” Nicole turned to smile at the accused. Waverly melted like a snowman in spring.

“But why would you even buy it if it’s -”

Waverly snapped. She grabbed the bottle from Wynonna and told her to get got. “Why don’t you get changed?” she leered at her sister.

Wynonna eyed her with confusion. “I’m perfectly fine in this, thanks.” 

But Waverly wouldn’t have it. “You reek of cheap beer and old frying oil. I won’t have you at my table.”

Wynonna almost protested again, but clearly decided to obey when she noticed the fumes coming from Waverly’s ears. She left in a hurry, still bickering under her breath, finally leaving the two alone.

“Thank god,” Waverly exclaimed and collapsed in a chair. 

Nicole smiled at her softly. Then her eyes flicked to the candle on the table and the delicious smell coming from the stove, and her face lit up in awe. Suddenly, the mood in the air around them changed. It was almost romantic. Waverly had felt embarrassed for treating the evening like a date, but apparently Nicole had done the same.

Her face was all joy and love when she told her that “Waverly, it smells amazing.”

Waverly smiled genuinely at her. But then her face faltered again. “I’m so sorry about Wynonna, I really wanted this evening to just be you and me. So we could talk, and, you know…”

She trailed off. The meaning of the words didn’t surpass Nicole, and there was suddenly a gentle tingle in her fingers when she noticed Waverly’s gaze shift down to her lips before settling back on her eyes. It was only for a second, but it was enough.

Nicole swallowed. “It’ll be a wonderful evening even with your sister,” she promised.

Waverly rolled her eyes at Nicole’s kindness, but then smiled. Nicole was right. She went to stand up and finish the last things for dinner, but Nicole held out her hand to stop her.

“I’m here now. What do you need me to do?”

She proceeded to move around the kitchen at Waverly’s instructions. She ladled the risotto into the ceramic bowl Waverly had put on the kitchen counter, she retrieved wine glasses from the top shelf and an opener from a drawer to decant the wine, and she set the table for a third person.

When Wynonna came back into the room, smelling all coconutty and good with fresh clothes and damp hair, everything was ready for dinner.

The evening turned out to be a success, even with Wynonna there. The food was great and they talked and laughed and smiled. Wynonna kept adding more and more parmesan to her plate, but it didn’t matter because Nicole touched her hand and told her how amazing it tasted. 

With all the fuss, the wine did turn out to be kind of a bust. It tasted mostly like grape juice, like Wynonna had predicted. Waverly was the only one to empty her glass, but even so, Nicole refused any of Wynonna’s beers in solidarity of Waverly’s simple glass of water.

\---

“Bye,” Wynonna hollered from the living room. 

Nicole opened the front door to step outside. Waverly followed her to the porch, having snuck on her own jacket and Gus’ heavy boots. 

“So, uh -” Waverly started shyly, without a proper plan of what she was going to say.

“Yeah,” Nicole smiled.

Neither of them wanted the evening to end, but Waverly had been yawning constantly the last hour and Nicole’s bus was leaving in ten minutes. It was time to say goodbye.

Waverly smiled timidly. “Thanks for, uh, this.”

“I should thank you!” Nicole rushed. “Dinner was… It was so great, Waverly. You’re a really talented cook.”

“Thank you.” The tinge on Waverly’s cheeks could as well be from the cold. “And thank you for the wine! It was -”

“It sucked.”

“Yeah…”

They laughed. 

“Thank you for bringing it, though,” said Waverly when their laughs had died down. She took a step forward. “It was really considerate.” 

Edged on by a sudden boldness, she reached for Nicole’s hands. Her fingers were warm compared to Waverly’s own. Maybe they could still have the perfect ending she had planned for the evening.

She turned to smile at Nicole’s face, waiting for her to take the next step. 

But Nicole’s eyes were trained on their connected hands, filled with all the opposite things that Waverly could feel herself radiating. Uncertainty. Doubt. 

A crease had formed between her eyebrows. “Waverly…” Nicole breathed. She took a deep breath before meeting Waverly’s eyes. “Can we...” She swallowed. “Talk?”

“Yeah,” Waverly breathed, trying to maintain her smile. Of course Nicole wanted to talk before they moved further. She wanted to be sure. That Waverly wanted this. To set the pace. 

Suddenly Waverly’s boldness was replaced by nerves. A new thrill went through her, this one making her giddy in a whole new way. Acting was easy. Taking a step forward and reach for Nicole’s hands had been pure instinct. But talking? Not so much. 

“God, it’s totally overdue,” Waverly confessed. Her shaky voice sounded an octave too high. 

Nicole nodded. She took another calming breath and said the ominous “I want you to hear it from me.”

At the same time Waverly blurted out “I’m scared that the hormones are messing with my feelings.”

Nicole looked at her. “What?”

“What?” Waverly repeated.

“You said… The hormones?”

Waverly looked up. What had she said? She searched her blurred memory for a frantic second. Something about her feelings being the product of her increasing estrogen levels.  _ Shit _ . “Uh, yeah… With the pregnancy.”

“Yeah, I get that. But -” Nicole’s brain retraced Waverly’s words. “You have feelings?”

Waverly’s eyes fell to their hands where their fingers were still laced together. A familiar blush crept up her neck. Somehow she had confessed her feelings for Nicole and at the same time dismissed them as something that wasn’t really  _ real _ . She sucked in her bottom lip innocently, and refused to answer. Her heart was galloping around in her chest like an out-of-control derby race.

“Wave…” 

Nicole squeezed Waverly’s hands softly, nudging her to speak. But instead of another confession, Waverly retreated back to her shell. She retracted her hands slowly, tucking them into the big pockets of her warm coat. It wasn’t nearly as warm as Nicole’s hands.

“I think it’s the hormones,” Waverly whispered. 

Nicole looked at her. She looked defeated. The boldness from a minute ago had faded completely, leaving only a scared girl behind. 

“Okay,” she said, accepting Waverly’s explanation.  _ For now _ .

Waverly looked up at her, cautiously. “What did you want to tell me?” she asked in her small voice.

“Oh,” Nicole took a step back. She had wanted to tell Waverly about her marriage, to come clean before anything happened between them, but it didn’t seem important now. “It was nothing.”

Waverly nodded, accepting Nicole’s lie like she had accepted hers. 

Nicole took another step, landing herself halfway down the porch steps. “I should, uh -” She waved behind her. 

Waverly nodded again and with another step, Nicole turned around and walked off into the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments are appreciated! And you're always welcome to come shout at me on tumblr @zaxagra


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're dealing with the aftermath of Waverly's rejection. We get some of Nicole's POV, some of Waverly's POV, an Earp sister-moment (with some sensible advice from Wynonna - who'd have thought?), an important conversation between Wayhaught and a good old breakdown. Huzzah!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my friend and beta @jorekbyrnison for helping me shuffle through multiple versions of this chapter <3

Nicole sat in the nearly empty bus, replaying the conversation with Waverly again and again in her head.

She was beyond confused. Waverly had just blown her off. Right after their date. It was a date, right? All the signs had been there. There had been food and wine and candles and Waverly had looked  _ so  _ beautiful. She had clearly done an effort with her make-up and her hair was perfect and her crop-top showed off the beginnings of a beautiful baby bump. She had been breathtaking. 

And then she had taken a step closer and grabbed Nicole’s hand, and there had been this exhilarating surge of energy between them. 

_ This is it _ , Nicole had thought as she’d looked into Waverly’s determined eyes.  _ This is where I kiss Waverly Earp _ . 

But, of course, Nicole was a proper gentlewoman. She had wanted to talk first. She had wanted to tell Waverly about her marriage with Shae, so that there were no secrets between them if they were to pursue  _ whatever it was _ that was going on between them.

Nicole had said stop. Talk first, kiss later. 

She sighed. What would have happened if she hadn’t forced them to slow down for a minute? 

Maybe Nicole would still be there now, on the porch with Waverly Earp. They could have been kissing right this second. 

She grit her teeth and damned her chivalrous self.

The bus took a sharp turn, pressing Nicole’s face against the ice cold window. She had to grab the side of her seat to keep steady when the vehicle stopped rather suddenly. Two young men wearing jogging outfits entered the bus and sat down a few seats in front of her. She gazed absentmindedly at them, instead seeing Waverly’s shy face in her mind.

“I’m scared that the pregnancy hormones are messing with my feelings.” That’s what she’d said.

The statement had been both hopeful and confusing all at once. On one hand, Waverly had said ‘feelings’, and Nicole had immediately translated that to mean  _ romantic _ feelings. On the other hand, Waverly’s so-called feelings were due to pregnancy hormones - according to her. But Nicole couldn’t figure out if Waverly had meant “the hormones are making me romantic” or if she meant “the hormones are making me gay”. 

Was that even possible?

Nicole drew out her phone and typed in “pregnancy hormones lesbian”. Every result was about lesbians trying to get pregnant. The top article was called “10 Things Every Lesbian Should Know About Having A Baby”. 

Nicole scratched her chin and closed the tab. She probably meant the other thing then. 

A thought struck her suddenly, making her feel giddy in a whole new way. Maybe Waverly was having  _ sexual _ feelings. Nicole had heard about  _ that _ being common in pregnancy. Her cheeks heated up and she forced herself to think about something else.

She did a quick recap of her inner dialogue and figured ‘romantic feelings’ was most likely. Her lips twitched into a smile.

_ Waverly likes me back.  _

Then she frowned, conscious of the conclusion that had popped up in her head. Nicole was usually quite confident when it came to girls. She knew when to put on that charming smile of hers, and how a small touch to a girl’s shoulder could affect her just  _ so _ . But it was different with Waverly. Nicole didn’t want to pull out all of her usual tricks, because Waverly was special. Tricks felt cheap and fake, when this thing with Waverly was so  _ real _ . And now Nicole’s brain had gone and concluded with Waverly having these romantic feelings, which meant she was in real shit if that didn’t turn it to be true. Because that way, Waverly really had the power to break Nicole’s heart. 

Nicole forced her brain to contemplate that maybe Waverly had meant feelings for somebody else. Or feelings of friendship, rather than love.

However forcibly the half-assed explanation was, it really did hurt. 

_ But it’s better to be hurt now, than to have her reject me later. _

Nicole sighed. There was still the fact that Waverly blamed it all on hormones. Was she scared? Scared of having feelings for a woman? Or scared of having feelings at all?

Nicole had been unable to extract any more information from Waverly after her blurted confession, but it seemed like she was figuring some things out about herself, and coming to terms with who she was. 

Waverly had another secret as well, Nicole reminded herself. She was probably scared shitless about people finding out about her pregnancy, and now this other, maybe even bigger, secret had come up as well.

The bus came to a halt at Nicole’s stop. Ghost River University Campus, East side.

Waverly had so much to deal with, Nicole figured as she stepped off the bus. Maybe her not-even-there marriage could wait.

\---

Waverly returned to the living room where Wynonna was flipping through the channels. She had switched her beer for bourbon, drinking directly from the bottle.

Waverly landed on the couch like a heavy sack of potatoes with an equally heavy sigh. So many things had gone right this evening, but ultimately even more things had gone wrong.

When Nicole walked off into the dark, Waverly was left cold and confused on the porch. She had wanted Nicole to grab her by the waist and kiss her senseless. But then Nicole had wanted to talk, and all these words had come jumbling out of Waverly’s mouth and everything had turned into a giant mess. Instead of confessing to Nicole that she was figuring out her feelings, she had explained it all away. 

“You okay, baby girl?”

Waverly looked up. Wynonna had put down the bottle and the remote control and was looking at her with the softest eyes, full of compassion.

At least her sister was still clueless.

She sighed. Maybe it was time to share some of her concerns.

“Do you think anyone will want to date me again?”

“Of course they will!” Wynonna pushed herself up from the armchair and came to sit down next to Waverly. She patted her lap, indicating that Waverly should put her head there. Waverly obliged.

“You’re super hot, Waves, really. I mean, your boobs look great, and honestly? The pregnancy is really working for you.”

Waverly smiled against Wynonna’s thigh.

“Has anyone said something?” Wynonna asked. She started tangling her fingers in Waverly’s hair, softly scratching her scalp.

Waverly shook her head. “No. I was just thinking…”

They were quiet for a while. Wynonna’s bottle was directly in her way, blocking two thirds of her line of sight. She could just make out the ad playing on the TV at a low volume. One big happy family eating breakfast. The mom was slicing bread and the dad was pouring juice in one of the kids’ glasses. For some reason, the ad was for an electronics store.

“Do you want to date anyone now, though?” Wynonna asked, breaking the silence.

Waverly gazed at the screen and tried to wrap her brain around Wynonna’s question.

Wynonna scooched a bit, settling in a more comfortable position. “I mean, you’ve got a lot going on.”

Waverly frowned. She could count on one hand all the times Wynonna had spoken reasonably. This was one of them. 

“Yeah, but…” She started to protest, but she couldn’t think of any good arguments. Maybe it  _ was _ better to postpone dating until later, when she had finished high school and given birth to this baby. When life was a bit more stable. But would it ever be stable again? 

She let her hand slide over her stomach, just at the edge of her crop top. 

It seemed unfair. Wynonna was such a fuck-up, what gave her the right to point out what Waverly should and shouldn’t do. 

Wynonna continued to massage her scalp softly with her fingers. Her statement made sense. A bit too much, in Waverly’s opinion.

Tackling this thing with Nicole would be yet another life-changing event. Did she really want that on top of her Project Motherhood? They hadn’t even done anything. There was no romance there yet. And Nicole was much more mature. She got her life figured out, sort of. She wouldn’t want to get herself involved in Waverly’s messy teenage drama. She had her own struggles, with her own mother in Toronto. 

Maybe it was more sensible to wait for a bit. Hope for a healthy baby, try to get started on her own education. Get some stability. And maybe in a year or so, if Nicole was still around, they could figure out whatever this was. 

Waverly swallowed down her reluctance. Not pursuing Nicole sounded like the most reasonable thing to do. Safer, too. Less chance of getting hurt.

She sighed reluctantly. “You’re right…”

\---

Nicole asked to see Waverly again the next day, but Waverly texted her back and told her she had an important meeting with the student council that needed preparation. Wednesday was the actual meeting, so that was no good either. 

“How about after the meeting?” Nicole texted, and Waverly answered “Yes, maybe”, but the meeting, of course, went hugely over time.  _ Just my luck, _ thought Nicole as she emptied her glass and left their usual booth at Peacemaker.

Thursday was no good for Nicole because she had promised to go with Shae to the drama students’ production of The Vagina Monologues. She was fiddling with the program leaflet the entire play and wasn’t really able to comprehend the topics the production wanted to highlight. Shae dragged her towards the bar for drinks as soon as the applause had died down. She was recounting something she had read about abortion and conscientous objectors in Italy when Nicole decided this was not the place to be tonight. So instead of waiting around for Shae to make a move on one of the actresses at the after-party, she rushed out of the theater and headed straight for Peacemaker. 

Dolls greeted her at the entrance and told her Waverly was still there, in her booth. Nicole took a moment to assemble her thoughts. Waverly was hunched over a stack of papers, probably some kind of report or reading assignment. Nicole didn’t notice how Dolls rolled his eyes at the soft smile that appeared on her face, nor did she see the meaningful look Doc sent her from his place behind the bar. She did, however, notice how Wynonna was missing from the establishment. But apparently this didn’t stop Waverly from coming to her favorite study spot.

She crossed the floor in a few quick strides and slid into the seat opposite from Waverly. 

Waverly looked up, startled by the sudden intrusion on her study session. She looked kinda annoyed by the disturbance, and the look didn’t fade when she discovered that the intruder was, in fact, Nicole. Usually, Nicole’s appearance would make her happy. Usually, Waverly would put away all of her homework as soon as she caught sight of Nicole. But today, the presence of Nicole only seemed to make her more annoyed. 

Waverly gave her a pointed look, waiting for Nicole to explain herself.

“I have a question,” Nicole said.

Waverly didn’t say anything. She just kept staring at Nicole and waited for her to continue.

“Because you said something about feelings. But then you said something about hormones. And I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

It wasn’t a question, Waverly’s annoyed brain pointed out. But she knew what it was Nicole wanted so desperately to know. 

A part of her wanted to come clean about everything. She wanted to tell her how confused she was with these overwhelming feelings, and how she’d decided to wait until after the birth to deal with them. She wanted to tell her how she had already changed her mind three times about that, and how those dimples popped up in her mind at least twenty times every hour. Most of all she wanted to tell her to kiss her.

But Waverly had just been handed the first draft of the school’s End of the Year-report by Headmaster Moody, and she had to go through the entire thing before the school board had their meeting next week. And today Mrs. Lewis had told them they had to change the exam schedule because one of the exam rooms had been overbooked, so now Waverly had her exams in French, English and Chemistry three days in a row, instead of the neatly paced schedule she had put down in her Google Calendar five months ago. And then there was Jake’s trip to the Lake Resort. Chrissy had been super stoked to go when Waverly suggested it, but apparently  _ everyone _ was going, and it kinda freaked Waverly out, because maybe someone would  _ find out _ . And yesterday, when she was going through her ritual of staring at her growing belly in the mirror, she had noticed a dark line starting at her navel and going downward. (She’d yelled for Wynonna who had dutifully studied the pigmented line closely, and then spent the next ten minutes reading about it on the internet. Apparently it was called _ linea nigra _ and was very common during pregnancy. “It should disappear again a few months after birth,” Wynonna had read out loud.)

The point was, Waverly couldn’t deal with Nicole right now, because there were five million other things she had to figure out first.

She finally opened her mouth.

“Everything is going so fast. Everything is changing, but it’s still all the same. And I have to deal with everything, but it’s just so much. And Headmaster Moody depends on me, and they all have these expectations that I have to do this or I should do that, but maybe I don’t want to. And my body is all messed up, and I haven’t gotten any of the stuff I need before the baby arrives, and I watched a video about childbirth and it looks  _ horrible _ .” 

Waverly took a deep breath before rambling on. 

“And I’m starting to put on weight, and people will start to notice, but what do I tell them? Should I make a big announcement and just get it over with? And I haven’t talked to Champ since he told me to get rid of it, and he’s probably gonna be super mad. But I don’t really care, you know, because I don’t want him to be a part of this. But maybe he wants to. I can’t really keep him from being a dad if that’s what he really wants. And now Pete has started holding open doors for me and telling me I look nice, but I don’t want him to flirt with me, because I don’t like him. And everyone is going on this trip for Spring Break, and I kinda wanna go, too, but then everyone will  _ know _ .”

At some point, Nicole had grabbed her hand without her noticing. Waverly continued.

“It’s all too fast, you know, and it’s like nobody ever asks me if I’m okay with it. Like, could everybody just stand still for one frickin’ minute?”

Waverly finished her tirade. She was breathing heavily and her fingers were trembling in Nicole’s hand.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” Nicole promised softly, rubbing Waverly’s skin with her thumb.

“You shouldn’t be nice to me.” Waverly looked at her. “I’ve been ignoring you and you’re nice to me.”

“Waverly, I care about you.”

But Waverly withdrew her hand from Nicole’s grasp. “We’re not dating.”

“I know…” 

Waverly tucked her hand safely in her lap and refused to meet Nicole’s eyes.

“God, Waverly, I would never ask you to be someone you’re not.”

“Good. Just don’t ask me to be anyone at all.”

Nicole huffed. “Fine.”

“Fine.” There was so much defiance in Waverly voice. She wasn’t anything like the bundle of joy Nicole was used to. 

“Well, maybe just friends,” Waverly added off-handedly.

Nicole could feel her heart breaking in two. “Sure, Waverly. Whatever you want.”

Nicole looked at her. Waverly was so young. She had so much to look forward to, and she didn’t even know it. She was weighed down by all of these expectations. Of all the little things that matter in high school, but you forget once you’re graduated. Nicole shuddered as Waverly’s phone buzzed and she reached for it. Waverly was so used to being able to stay on top of everything, but it was getting too much, even for her. 

“Wynonna’s outside,” said Waverly, and started packing up her stuff.

Nicole nodded. “See you around?”

“Gus is coming tomorrow, so I won’t have time before some day next week.”

“Okay.” Nicole tried to smile, but it was hard when she could feel Waverly’s resistance so clearly. “Text me?”

“Sure.”

Waverly gave a forced smile before she stalked off.

\---

Waverly felt terrible. Nicole was literally the nicest person she knew, and she had just unloaded a whole ton of shit on her. She felt sick to the pit of her stomach. Sick of herself and her whining and her breakdown and  _ everything _ . How could this be her life? Nothing was going the way it was supposed to, and it fucking _ sucked _ .

Waverly groaned at her own image. She was in front of the mirror again, looking at herself in profile. The dark line was still there, like an ugly scar cleaving her stomach in two. She had obviously gained weight. Where her defined stomach used to be, there was now a tiny bump. It had made her feel confident and sexy only days earlier, but now it felt like yet another terrible thing that was happening to her. 

Waverly drew her eyes upwards from her naked belly, past the navy blue maternity bra covering her too-full breasts, until she made eye contact with her mirror image. The dark circles beneath her eyes were in stark contrast to her otherwise pale face. She looked tired. Defeated. It didn’t look like her. She didn’t  _ feel  _ like her. Instead she felt ugly and gross.

The door opened and Wynonna sauntered in. “Wave, you know how Doc is being a b-”

Waverly cut her off with an icy tone. “Can you knock?” 

She glared at Wynonna.  _ If looks could kill…  _

Wynonna opened her mouth, maybe to apologize, but Waverly wasn’t finished. 

“Why don’t you ever knock?” she growled as she stepped closer to Wynonna. “Why can’t I ever have just  _ one  _ frickin’ moment for myself? Do you  _ always  _ have to interrupt?”

Wynonna backed away slowly. “Sorry…”

When the door was closed, leaving her alone again, Waverly only felt worse. 

\---

Waverly’s mood didn’t approve the next day. She snapped at Pete when he tried to compliment her dress in the corridor and she straight up ignored everyone at her table at lunch. 

“Are you okay?” Jeremy finally asked after Chemistry. It was the last bell of the day, and Waverly couldn’t wait to get out of here. Jeremy had wanted to ask earlier, but then Waverly had told Chrissy to “just leave her alone” when she had tried to get her to talk for the fifth time at lunch. She had eventually stalked off and went to sit in Mrs. Lewis’ empty classroom for the rest of the break.

Waverly grit her teeth together. Her nostrils were flaring. How did he not know to shut his mouth?

But Jeremy was feeling brave. He looked around the noisy classroom before he leaned closer. “Is it the hormones?” he whispered.

Apparently no one had ever told Jeremy you shouldn’t ask a girl about her PMS. Boy, did he learn it now.

“Why does everyone keep bringing up my hormones?” she whispered harshly. “Not everything is because of frickin’  _ hormones _ .”

Jeremy looked unsure.

Waverly continued. “I’m just in a bad mood. Is that alright?”

People were turning around as Waverly’s voice grew ever stronger. 

“Am I allowed to just have a shit day?”

Jeremy gulped. Everyone was looking at them now.

“You know what, why don’t you keep the fucking hormones, and you have a good weekend.”

She grabbed her bag and stalked off through the crowd of spectators. Jeremy was left behind, his face a deep crimson and his lip quivering. 

Waverly rushed out of the building. She felt warm and her entire body was shaking. If anyone was staring, she didn’t notice it. With a final push against the heavy glass door she was outside. The cold spring air filled her lungs. It felt like she hadn’t breathed for several hours with the uncontrollable gasps that came from her mouth. 

Waverly’s trembling hands clutched her face, trying to stop the sob that was building inside her chest.

“Waverly!”

A familiar voice called for her.

But Waverly couldn’t remove her hands. She couldn’t see who it was.

“Waverly, come.” The voice was closer now. 

An arm wrapped itself around her shoulders so that Waverly was pressed against a heavy winter coat. The person smelled familiar, of lavender and soap. She put a hand on Waverly’s back and guided her forward. 

“Here.”

The sound of a car door opening, and the hand helped Waverly inside, guiding her arm to grab the handle in the roof of the truck and the other supporting her body as she climbed in. A minute later the engine roared to life and they drove off. 

Waverly was properly sobbing now. She was gasping uncontrollably, her lungs desperately trying to force air into her lungs. Her hands were wet with tears, and her entire body was shaking violently. 

The car eventually stopped. Waverly didn’t know if it had been five or fifteen minutes, but at least her breathing had calmed down a little bit. 

“Here.” 

A hand touched Waverly’s knee. She looked at it. The hand was offering a paper tissue. She took it gratefully and brought it to her face, blowing her nose. 

“Thank you,” Waverly said with a hoarse voice. She wiped her cheek with the sleeve of her coat. 

She looked up. Gus looked concerned. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked with her gruff voice.

Waverly shook her head.

Gus nodded. “Let’s go inside.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoy every comment (and kudos) and I promise I well get around to answering each one of them. Thank you all for the unwavering support!   
> Find me at tumblr @zaxagra


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gus is the only responsible person in this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to @jorekbyrnison, my wonderful friend and beta, who constantly yells at me for more

Aunt Gus had probably pictured a nice weekend with her nieces when she started on the three hour drive from Purgatory. When Wynonna had called her to warn about Waverly’s foul mood, however, she had known something was up. She had decided to pick Waverly up at school, and thank goodness for that. The number of onlooking students hadn’t been too bad, but Gus knew that the crowd would only have gotten bigger if she hadn’t been there to guide Waverly to safety. 

She brought Waverly to the living room and tucked her in with a woollen blanket on the three-seater. She was only gone for a moment, but when she returned with a steaming mug of tea, Waverly’s small body was shaking again. She was lying with her front facing the backrest and her face buried in a throw pillow.

Gus sat down on the edge of the couch and starter stroking Waverly’s heaving back. Wynonna came and peeked through the living room door after a minute, but Gus shook her head and she disappeared again. 

Waverly’s shaking body slowly turned into a soft tremble with the methodical movement of Gus’ warm hand on her back. Eventually, her body stilled, leaving the slow rhythm of Waverly’s calm breathing instead. After a minute she spoke, voice muffled by the pillow. 

“I said it was hormones, but it isn’t.”

Gus had no idea what Waverly was talking about, of course, but it didn’t matter. Waverly clearly had to get this off her chest, and Gus would provide whatever assistance she could give. She didn’t move her hand from Waverly’s back and she didn’t speak, allowing Waverly to figure out the next tidbit she wanted to share. 

“Did anyone see me?” she asked with a thick voice.

Gus cleared her throat. It was best to be honest. “Not many. Maybe ten or twelve students.”

The stilled movement under her hand told her that Waverly was holding her breath.

“You were one of the first persons outside, honey.”

Waverly nodded slowly.

Gus started rubbing her back again, and Waverly remembered how she was supposed to breathe. With a heavy sigh, she let her lungs exhale the exhausted air inside. 

“Jeremy said it was hormones, but it isn’t. I’m just a shit person.”

“You’re not a bad person, Waverly. It’s just a lot.”

Waverly nodded slowly. “But I feel like shit.”

Gus bent down to kiss the back of her head. “That’s ok.”

\---

Gus made Curtis’ favorite mushroom soup for dinner. Wynonna was afraid to ask about Waverly, and Gus was afraid to ask about Wynonna’s job, so the three of them ended up eating in silence.

After dinner, Gus took care of the dishes while the sisters escaped to their respective bedrooms.

Waverly went to lie down in her bed, but her head was spinning. There were so many competing thoughts in her head, fighting for attention, but she didn’t seem able to focus on a single one of them. After a few minutes she gave up. 

She padded across the hallway and knocked on Wynonna’s door. There was loud music pounding through the wall.

“What?” yelled Wynonna, and Waverly let herself in.

Wynonna was lying on her stomach, the sheets crumpled in a corner of the bed. She was looking at her phone, clearly occupied, because she didn’t look up when Waverly came in. 

Waverly went to sit on the bed next to Wynonna who finally looked up. 

“Heeeey, sis,” she greeted and scooched to the side to make room.

Waverly smiled weakly.

“Are you okay?” Wynonna asked. She reached for the speakers that were haphazardly placed on the floor next to her bed. 

Waverly shrugged as the music was put on a low volume. “I dunno.”

“Did something happen?”

Waverly shrugged again, trying not to think about everything that had gone down since yesterday. She cleared her throat. “Why don’t you go to work anymore?”

Wynonna raised her eyebrows. “What?”

Waverly sighed. “I just need something to distract me.” She looked at Wynonna with pleading eyes. “Please?”

Wynonna sat up a little bit and held up a finger. “Okay, one. Using your pregnancy to get information? Rude. And two.” She held up another finger. “I, uh. I kinda slept with Dolls.” Wynonna quickly averted her eyes.

Waverly blinked. “What? I thought you and Doc were...?” Wynonna had never confirmed to having any sort of relationship with Doc, but Waverly could count on more fingers than she had all the times Wynonna hadn’t returned home after a shift. She had to be sleeping  _ somewhere _ . Or with some _ one _ . 

Apparently it was Dolls.

“Have some faith in your big sis, Waves. I am not the breaker of hearts.” She patted the bed next to her and Waverly laid down on her side, facing Wynonna. 

“But Doc is?”

“Doc is a breaker of many things.”

“Of hearts?”

“Not my heart.”

“Whose heart then?”

Wynonna scowled at her. “Apparently some slut called Rosita.”

Waverly studied her sister’s face for a long time, searching for signs of emotion. But Wynonna didn’t waver. There was nothing to be learnt from those eyes. 

Eventually Waverly had to ask. “Did you and Doc ever… You know?”

Wynonna clicked her tongue. “The answer, my friend, is  _ nyet _ .”

Waverly raised a suggestive eyebrow. After a wicked staring contest, Wynonna budged.

“Alright, maybe one time.”

Waverly kept her gaze straight, until...

“Okay! It was many times!” 

Waverly grinned, satisfied with her excellent extraction techniques.

Wynonna kept talking. “I thought we were just having fun, but apparently he thought we were a  _ thing _ .”

“And Rosita?”

Wynonna shrugged. “Well,  _ apparently  _ Doc broke it off with her to be with me.” She sighed heavily and continued through grit teeth. “But then he found out about Dolls.”

“Yeah, what the hell?”

“Hey, don’t  _ at  _ me!” Wynonna crossed her arms defiantly in front of her chest. “A woman’s got needs, damnit.”

“But  _ Dolls _ ?” Admittedly, Dolls was super fit and kinda sexy, but Waverly had always thought that his always serious, quiet demeanour outscaled his hotness. The stoic bouncer had never crossed her mind as a particular sexual being. Especially not someone who was  _ sexually being _ with her sister.

“We’ve been working out a lot lately, and then, well.” Wynonna grinned. “We kinda started working out in different ways.”

Waverly made a face. “Ew.”

“Oh, come on! It’s not like you’re a prude.” Wynonna slapped her shoulder. 

Waverly swallowed, trying to force away the image of Nicole that had reappeared on her retina after a short hiatus. “Can we not talk about me?”

Wynonna nodded. She reached forward to stroke Waverly’s hair. After a minute, she continued her tale, in an obvious attempt to distract Waverly. “I mean, Dolls is kind of a big city guy. Loafers and all. I dunno...”

“Great butt, though,” Waverly pointed out. 

Wynonna looked at her for a minute and then burst into laughter. “Great butt,” she agreed with a relieved smile.

They spent the rest of the night discussing the boys and Wynonna’s conundrum. Wynonna called Doc a douche for getting jealous when he himself had been having a fling with another lady. Meanwhile, Waverly spent some time trying to convince her that Dolls was too broody for her. She pointed out how the boys had both been at Peacemaker yesterday and seemed fine. Eventually, Wynonna promised to call Doc tomorrow and demand she’d be allowed back to work again. 

Talking about boys with her sister was liberating, and Waverly finally went to bed with a tired smile on her face half past midnight. There were still mundane problems in the world.

\---

Gus was already in the kitchen when Waverly came downstairs the next morning. She was sitting at the table with a notepad and a pen. As soon as Waverly sat down with her bowl of cereal, Gus cleared her throat.

“I’ve been reading up on what sort of things we need to buy before the baby comes,” she said seriously and clicked the pen. 

She showed Waverly the list she had started on. “Stroller”, “Infant tub” and “Car seat” where on it, as was “Mattress” and “Changing table”. Gus had successfully raised Waverly, but she had already been eight when she came to live with her aunt and uncle. The prospect of having an infant in the house was as new to Gus as it was to Waverly.

Waverly could only smile. She swallowed a spoonful of oats and fruit and quickly went to retrieve her own notebook from her backpack. She opened it to the most recent page, showing a list similar to the one Gus was working on. In addition to Gus' listed items, Waverly also had written down the details of what kind of clothes, diapers and blankets she wanted. 

“I’ve been looking around on the internet, and I think I can get most of the stuff second-hand,” Waverly told Gus, who looked relieved. They hadn’t really talked about finances, except the one time Gus had told her “they would manage”. Waverly’s research had taught quickly her that a baby cost a small fortune, so everything she could buy second-hand was awesome. It also fit well with her passion for the environment.

The two of them spent a good chunk of the morning comparing their lists and adding other items that seemed relevant. When Wynonna entered the kitchen around noon wearing only an oversized Slipknot-t-shirt and underwear, Waverly was preparing her second bowl of oats and fruit. She had adjusted to eating a small meal every 2-3 hours, finally accepting that this baby demanded extra energy which meant extra calories for her.

“What’s up, dorks?” Wynonna asked as she emptied the coffee pot into her mug. She turned around and eyed the mess of papers on the table.

"We’re planning for the baby,” Waverly said happily. She was ladling another spoonful of yoghurt and apple into her mouth and didn’t notice how Gus actually looked kind of proud. It was astonight how quickly Waverly was able to turn around a hopeless situation.

“Oh, yeah?” Wynonna asked absentmindedly as she opened the fridge. 

Waverly started to tell her about all the things they had decided. “Now we just have to  _ buy  _ everything,” she concluded. Wynonna sat down at the table with her own bowl of cereal. 

“When are you gonna do that?” she asked with her mouth full of rainbow-colored Cheerios. 

Waverly looked at Gus. “Eh...”

Gus smiled. “Maybe spring break? That’s in two weeks, right?”

Waverly nodded slowly, her smile fading. “Right…” She didn’t notice how Wynonna and Gus exchanged concerned looks at the sudden change in Waverly’s mood. 

“Jake invited everyone to go to his family’s lake resort for spring break,” she said with a low voice.

“That’s great, honey!” Gus exclaimed. “Jake is your vice-president, right?”

Waverly nodded. “Yeah. He’s super nice. And everyone’s invited and Chrissy really wants us to go.”

“But?” Gus asked friendly, sensing Waverly's hesitation.

"But  _ this _ .” Waverly pointed at her stomach. The bump wasn’t visible underneath her loose sweater, but they all knew it was there. She looked up into the faces of her sister and aunt, obviously concerned. There seemed to be a very fine line between “excited over the pregnancy” and “scared shitless”.

“Have you told anyone at school yet?” Gus asked.

“Only Chrissy and Jeremy,” Waverly answered. “And Fish.”

Gus nodded. “Do you want to tell the other kids?”

Waverly stared at her. “I have to.”

This time Wynonna answered. “You can just wait until everyone notices.”

“Or you can ask if maybe one of your teachers can make an announcement?” Gus suggested.

“Pfft,” said Wynonna rudely. Gus raised her eyebrow, but Wynonna continued. “Or you can tell one of the gossip girls. How about that skank, Stephanie?”

“I’m not telling Stephanie!”

“Yeah, but if you do, she’ll tell everyone and then the secret is out.” Wynonna pointed at Waverly with her spoon. “You don’t have to do shit.”

“Language,” interrupted Gus. Wynonna ignored her.

Waverly considered Wynonna’s suggestion. She wasn’t very keen on having a heart-to-heart with Stephanie, but other than that, the plan felt kinda good. Just let the rumour spread naturally, so to speak. 

“Maybe if I tell Pete…”

Wynonna waggled her eyebrows. “Oooh, who is Pete?”

Waverly shot her a bored look. “He’s… Interested in me.”

“Well, are you  _ interested _ in  _ him _ ?” Wynonna asked with a suggestive smirk.

“No!” Waverly turned fully towards her sister. “You told me I shouldn’t date anyone while I was pregnant, remember?”

“I said that?” Wynonna looked up in thought. “When?”

“On Monday!”

“What happened on Monday?”

“That’s when you came home from work early and interrupted my dinner with Nicole.”

“Oh yeeeeeah. She brought the shitty wine.” Wynonna grinned at the memory. Then she raised her shoulder with an indifferent face. “I drank like, an entire bottle of Jim Beam. I don’t know what I said, sis.”

“Are you -” Waverly gaped at her. She had forced away all of her less-than-appropriate thoughts regarding Nicole after that night, largely due to Wynonna’s recommendations. “I listened to that advice!”

“Baby girl, you should never listen to anything I say. I thought you knew that by now?”

“That’s all very well,” Gus said loudly, expertly ending the sisterly quarrel. “But what is this about Jake’s trip?”

Waverly slumped back in her chair with her arms crossed. “I don’t think I wanna go.”

“Why not?”

“Because! Everyone will be there. Sonya and Stephanie... And Champ. I don’t wanna deal with them.” 

Gus didn’t know any of the details surrounding Waverly’s break-up with Champ, but she imagined it hadn’t been without conflict. “Does he know what you decided?”

Waverly shook her head. 

“Do you want to tell him?”

“Fuck, no!” said Wynonna. “You don’t owe him shit, Wave!”

Gus eyed Wynonna sternly until she continued spooning the cereal into her big mouth. “Do you want to tell him?” she asked again.

Waverly shrugged. “I probably should.”

Gus nodded. “I know you don’t want him to have any part in this, Waverly, but -”

“But if he wants to be involved, I have to let him, right?” Waverly looked her aunt in the eye. It wasn’t so much a question as a challenge. 

Gus studied her hard face for a second before she answered. “I think you should at least tell him before he learns from the rumour-mill.”

Waverly refused to say anything else on the subject, so Gus continued her interrogation about spring break. 

“You can just go for one night, if you want? I can come and pick you up.”

Waverly shrugged non-committedly. 

“You always liked to be part of the social gatherings, Waverly, why would you let this stop you?”

Waverly grit her teeth, making the muscle in her jaw bulge dangerously. “Gus…” She shook her head. Her aunt didn’t understand. And how could she? It was a million years since she’d gone to high school. “I’m a social outcast. A weirdo. And when they find out I’m pregnant, too?” Her fingers where white where she grabbed the hard edge of the table. “I just don’t wanna go.”

Gus looked at her for a full minute. Even Wynonna had lowered her bowl to watch her sister. 

“Okay,” Gus said eventually. “You’re not going.”

\---

Waverly spent the rest of the day catching up on all of her homework. 

She took a break in the afternoon to call Jeremy and tell him she was sorry for yelling at him yesterday. He was hesitant at first, but she promised him she was just tired after a long week. He accepted it after her third apology, and they ended up talking for half an hour about how Mr. Ramaker had given them an impossible assignment for Chemistry over the weekend. He told her how he had found that the second question about Le Chatelier’s Principle and catalysts must be a trick question, because the catalyst would make no difference to the point of equilibrium. They discussed how temperature and pressure influenced the equilibrium in their own ways for a few minutes, until Wynonna came into the kitchen and gagged at Waverly’s conversation. 

“Nerds,” she mumbled and left the room again with a fresh mug of coffee. 

“Sorry, it’s just Wynonna,” Waverly told Jeremy. “But, uh, I should go.” She still had her application for Valedictorian waiting for her. Gus had promised to help her with it today.

“Yeah, okay,” said Jeremy somberly. 

“Are we okay, though?” asked Waverly again. “With yesterday?”

“Yeah, no problem!” Jeremy promised her with his usual chipper voice.

“Okay.” She let out a relieved breath. “I’ll see you Monday?”

“Totally.”

After adjusting her Chemistry paper to fit in the details Jeremy had shared, she called for Gus in her office. They spent the rest of the evening reviewing Waverly’s application. Headmaster Moody, Professor Beaufort and Professor Malick had provided her with the required signatures, so the only thing left was a 500-word essay. 

Waverly read the final draft out loud while pacing nervously across the kitchen floor. 

Gus gave a short applause when she was finished. “It’s great, Waverly. Just perfect.” She went to retrieve her casserole from the oven as the timer went off. “I doubt that there are any candidates who are more suitable than you.”

Waverly was pleased with herself when she went to bed. She had kept herself busy the entire day and checked off nearly every item on her To Do-list. The only thing remaining was to send an email to Headmaster Moody with her final suggestions for the End of the Year-report. She knew that she could have just sent the report now - she had read it over three times already, and she didn’t expect to find any new flaws on her fourth readthrough. But she knew that when that last task was finished, there would be nothing to stop her from thinking about the other stuff.

Waverly turned around in her bed, feeling all of her worries nestling themselves back into her mind.

She had to figure out how she was gonna tell Champ about her decision, and who would be the best person to spread the rumour of her pregnancy. Letting everybody know wasn’t really a pleasant prospect, but it was still better than figuring out what she was gonna do about this whole situation with Nicole.

Apparently Wynonna had been drunk off her tits when she had told Waverly to stay single, and she had really taken that advice to heart. It seemed stupid to discard it just because Wynonna had been drunk. Waverly had agreed to it, after all. 

No, it was best to stick to the plan. Sure, she had been frustrated all week, resulting in her snapping at Jeremy, but she could still ride it out. With time, her obsession with Nicole would fade and they could have a normal friendship. She just had to be strong now.

\---

It was a restless sleep, filled with dreams about Champ and Steph and Jake’s cabin. Everyone was there, crowding the room and staring at her. Stephanie was pointing and laughing, and Champ said again and again that he wasn’t the father. “It has no father,” he said and joined in on Stephanie’s cruel laughter. “Waverly will be alone forever,” added Wynonna from the other side of the room. Suddenly Nicole appeared from the tight crowd. She smiled at first, making Waverly’s heart melt, but then she leaned in and whispered in Waverly’s ear. “I guess it’s just the hormones, huh?” She turned around and walked off through the suddenly dispersed crowd. Shae was waiting for her on the other side of the room with a glorious smile on her face.

Waverly gasped for air as she emerged from her dream. It took a moment before she was able to orient herself. She was in her bedroom. It was still dark outside, which meant it was still night. Her skin was clammy and she’d kicked her thick duvet off her body. It lay in a crumpled heap at her foot end, halfway dangling off the bed. 

She brought her hand over her sweaty face, brushing her messed up hair from her eyes. She told herself it was only a dream, and with a few deep breaths she managed to calm herself down. The images were already fading, and after a few minutes, she was sleeping again.

When she finally woke up, she had no recollection of the dream, but there was a nagging feeling in her chest that hadn’t been there yesterday.

As she stood in the shower, Waverly realized that Nicole hadn’t sent her a single text this weekend. Her fingers were slowly massaging the flowery shampoo into her hair as she thought back to their last conversation. She had told her to just be friends, and it seemed that Nicole had taken the message to heart. Waverly felt a pang of guilt wash through her body. 

She hadn’t meant it.

And now, she was gone.

Waverly had kicked Nicole out of her life, and for  _ what _ ? Some stupid thing Wynonna had said? Some stupid thing she had talked herself into believing? Some stupid thing the kids at school would think?

The water had rinsed the shampoo out of her hair long ago. Waverly was motionless now, letting the warm water envelope her body. It was only when her stomach started to growl that she turned off the water. 

Gus and Wynonna had already finished breakfast when Waverly came downstairs. They were chit-chatting about something unimportant. Waverly sat down in front of a plate of scrambled eggs without saying a word, and started eating. Maybe they talked to her, maybe they didn’t. She didn’t hear it, anyway.

She was too occupied with the things Nicole had said on Thursday. When it all went wrong.

Eventually Wynonna stood up. “I’m going to work,” she announced, but Waverly still didn’t react. Annoyed, Wynonna poked Waverly in her shoulder until she blinked out of her trance. “I’m going to  _ work _ ,” she said again.

Waverly looked at her, confused.

“I talked to Doc,” Wynonna tried, but again: no reaction.

She sighed heavily and stalked out of the kitchen, shaking her head. 

Gus remained. She was sipping her coffee and watching Waverly’s motionless face.

After a minute, she grabbed Waverly’s hand, the one that was holding her fork. It was shaking. “You are still Waverly,” Gus said clearly.

Waverly blinked. Her aunt’s face came into view. Gus was looking at her with those eyes of hers. She could see everything. Everything that was going on in Waverly’s soul. Everything that was wrong and everything that was right. 

“You are still Waverly,” she said again, unsure if Waverly had heard it the first time. “Don’t let this define you.”

Waverly swallowed.

“This is just a thing - a big thing - but still. You are not  _ Waverly who is pregnant _ or  _ Waverly the mother to be _ . You are just Waverly, and that means whatever you want it to.” She grabbed Waverly’s other hand across the table, cradling them both in her own. “The kids at school will learn about this eventually, but you show them, Waverly. You show them what you’re made of.”

Waverly nodded, struggling to keep her lower lip from trembling.

“You’re life isn’t over with this baby, sweetheart. It is just something extra. You can still be a normal high school student and go to university and build a life for yourself. Don’t forget that, alright?”

She squeezed Waverly’s hands and Waverly squeezed back. She swallowed a few times and took a deep breath. “Can I borrow your truck?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT WILL SHE DO???
> 
> Leave a comment or kudos if you want! Or come yell at me on tumblr @zaxagra


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter had Waverly at the brink of an existential crisis, but luckily Gus was there to talk some sense to her. She left in a hurry, borrowing Gus' truck to go who-knows-where...

Waverly climbed up the stairs like she was chased by fate itself. She was at the door in no time, still puffing from the sudden burst of exercise. But she didn’t care. Out of breath and face flushed, she reached out to ring the bell.

It took fourteen seconds before the door opened. Fourteen seconds too long, in Waverly’s opinion. But when it finally did, it was Nicole who held it open.

“Waverly!” Nicole looked surprised, but pleasantly so. “What are you -”

Waverly didn’t let her finish. Words weren’t important right now. The only thing that was important was how soft Nicole’s lips were as Waverly launched herself at them. They were warm, the taste of coffee a lingering afterthought after Nicole’s morning rituals. 

Waverly’s icy fingers clutched Nicole’s neck and pushed the two of them backwards, into the apartment. They barely registered the sound of the door slamming shut behind them.

The couch was suddenly there. The back of Nicole’s knees hit the siderest and the two of them tumbled backwards onto the furniture, Waverly landing ungracefully on top of Nicole. The kiss was broken by the fall, and Nicole put her hand on Waverly’s shoulder to prevent her from diving in for round two.

“Whoa, whoa,” Nicole managed, her cheeks a pleasant flush. “What happened to friends?”

“I don’t wanna be friends.” The confession was rushed. Waverly had held onto those words for so long. They had come close to escaping before, but they had always been prevented by something (usually Wynonna).

Waverly pulled herself into an upright position, sitting on Nicole’s thighs and leaning against the backrest of the couch. Suddenly everything she had been bottling up came rushing out of her. 

“You know, I had all these dreams. I wanted to study ancient languages. I wanted to learn Greek and Latin  nd Sumerian, and read books that no one has ever read before. I wanted to travel, to see the ocean.” She gestured vaguely into the air. Her eyes weren’t really on anything in particular, but the pictures were all there in her head. “To swim far out so that I couldn’t see the shore, with no idea what was beneath me. I wanted to eat geoduck.”

“Ew, isn’t that the one that kinda looks like a -”

“Yeah, but that’s not the point.”

Waverly’s determined gaze finally landed on Nicole, who looked confused and very much caught off guard, but she was hanging on to every one of Waverly’s rambled words.

“The point is, this  _ thing  _ happened.” Her thumb grazed her stomach lightly and Nicole’s gaze dipped down to the gentle touch. “And I thought it was all ruined.”

Nicole looked up again, catching the way those hazel eyes glinted. 

Waverly smiled a liberating smile. “But it isn’t.”

She let out a puff of air. It was wonderful to let it all out. She felt all light and floaty, her heart beating rapidly with excitement.

“And I realized that the only thing I really want…” She looked properly at Nicole now, careful to speak the words clearly. “It’s you.”

Nicole’s face changed instantly to relief and joy and  _ love _ . “Yeah?”

Waverly nodded. She could only mirror Nicole’s smile as she dipped her head down to where Nicole was scrambled on the couch. “And I don’t really know how to do this, but I really want to kiss you again.”

Nicole bit her lip, all cocky with her skewed grin. “I mean, if you want...” And she reached out to grab Waverly’s scarf, pulling her down rather teasingly before leaning up to capture her lips.

\---

It felt as though she was gonna explode. She was finally doing it, finally kissing Waverly frickin’ Earp. And it felt  _ good _ . The kiss was hungry, as if they were trying to make up for all those hours they could’ve been doing exactly this. But Nicole didn’t care that she’d had to wait, ‘cause Waverly was here right now, and they were kissing, and it was all she had ever wanted. 

Suddenly, the urge to flip them around crashed through her mind and she acted on it without another thought. The shaky breath escaping from Waverly’s lips as her back hit the couch was delightful, and Nicole grinned into the next kiss. Waverly’s hands found their place at the back of Nicole’s neck again, twirling her fingers into the small hairs there.

The sensation was overwhelming. Waverly’s body was so warm, her skin so soft, and the gentle tugging from her nimble fingers was enough to give Nicole goosebumps. She trailed her own hand down Waverly’s side, over the soft cotton of her dress. It was ridden up to halfway up her thigh, and Nicole planted her hand right there at the hem, urging Waverly’s leg up so that it curled around Nicole’s waist, pressing their bodies even closer. It only made Waverly tug her hair harder, and Nicole grinned again. 

“I’ve been thinking about this for so long,” she confessed in between kisses. The two of them were clearly out of breath, the way they both gasped for air every time their mouths moved for a different angle. But there was no time to lose, oxygen be damned.

“Me too,” said Waverly, just as Nicole made a trail of deliciously wet kisses along her jaw. Waverly’s scent was stronger there, at the crook of her neck. It made Nicole dizzy. She was almost thankful when Waverly gasped again. “Wait, wait. I’m too hot. Wait.”

Nicole reluctantly pushed herself up and away from her current occupation, sitting up on her knees in between Waverly’s legs. She held out a hand for Waverly to sit up as well. Her hair was sticking up at the back and her lips were all red and swollen. It was safe to say that the sight did things to Nicole. 

Waverly quickly discarded the light blue coat she was still wearing, as well as her knit scarf. They jumbled to the floor in a messy heap, but at this moment, Nicole’s world didn’t expand beyond her blue couch, so she didn’t really register it. She only had eyes for Waverly. 

Apparently, this sentiment was very visible on her face, because when Waverly turned to look at her once more, her eyes twinkled with something simultaneously naughty and sweet. “Come here,” she whispered and drew Nicole closer with a single finger at the neck of her t-shirt. 

There was no way Nicole wouldn’t oblige. She slid one hand around Waverly’s back and gently guided her back down on the couch. The other went back to her hip. Meanwhile, Waverly’s hands wandered along the edge of Nicole’s t-shirt, softly tracing the skin there. 

_ As if it wasn’t already on fire. _

This kiss was slower. Deeper. Their mouths moved more deliberately than the greedy kisses from before. Nicole could feel the tip of Waverly’s soft tongue bumping against her own, and it set off another burst of pleasure in her chest. With their tongues gliding slowly against each other, and Waverly’s fingers edging her shirt up her back, Nicole’s head went spinning. 

“Wave,” she gasped. She leaned her forehead against Waverly’s for a minute, breathing heavily and trying to get her vision back. 

One of Waverly’s hands let go of her shirt and went to cup Nicole’s cheek instead, gently tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear. “You okay?” she asked softly.

Nicole nodded, her forehead still resting against Waverly’s. “I just need a minute.” She could feel the way Waverly’s lips curled up into a smile underneath her. Her fingers continued to comb slowly through Nicole’s hair, scratching her scalp with her short nails. 

Nicole hummed after a moment. “Feels good.”

Waverly inclined her head and placed a tiny kiss on the tip of Nicole’s nose, ever so gently. It only made Nicole smile wider. 

“ _ You _ feel good,” Nicole flirted. With her index finger, she lifted Waverly’s chin and very slowly connected their mouths again, her tongue curling its way in between Waverly’s parted lips as she went. 

Nicole noticed how Waverly’s body shuddered at the gesture. It filled her with pride and hunger, and she knew that this was what she was supposed to do in life. To kiss and to cherish Waverly Earp. To obey her every wish. To support her and love her. 

As if to answer the call from Nicole’s heart, Waverly tangled her hands in Nicole’s hair and drew her closer, closer. Until they were as close as they’d ever been. Lips connected, fingers pressed against red hair and soft flesh. Nicole’s weight rested fully on top of Waverly’s body now, pushing the two of them down into the cushions underneath them. 

The moment seemed to stretch out into a wonderful eternity. Nicole was just starting to wonder if this was all just a dream - an elaborate scheme her brain played on her heart. But then a soft moan escaped from Waverly’s mouth and her body arched so that their bodies were connected more fully, chest to chest, stomach to stomach and hip to hip. Waverly had drawn Nicole’s shirt up so far that the pale skin of her abdomen was in direct contact with the soft grey cotton covering Waverly’s own. 

It was then that Nicole realized she was leaning all of her hundred and fifty pounds on the beginnings of Waverly’s baby bump. She pushed herself up rather abruptly, making Waverly gasp with surprise. Waverly’s lips tried to follow the way Nicole went, but she was too far away. 

She looked at Nicole, visibly shocked by the disruption. “What?”

“Your stomach.” Nicole pointed at it, panic in her eyes. “I- I squashed it.”

Waverly raised her eyebrows, clearly still in the sweet haze of kisses and the dizzying smell of something cinnamony. “What?” she asked again.

Nicole went to stand up from the couch, leaving a disgruntled Waverly behind.

“No, no,” protested Waverly with an adorable shake of her head. She grabbed Nicole’s hand and tried to tug her back to the couch. “Come back.”

But Nicole didn’t. She stood there, staring at Waverly’s stomach with wide eyes as if she had broken it. Eventually, Waverly sighed and sat up, planting her feet on Nicole’s carpeted floor. She’d lost one of her boots in their entanglement, she noticed, but couldn’t see where it had gone. She patted the spot next to her, and Nicole reluctantly sat down. 

Waverly scooched closer so that their thighs were touching. “It’s okay, Nicole. I still sleep on my stomach most of the time.” 

“But I weigh like, you times  _ two _ ,” protested Nicole.

Waverly smiled. “That’s not true,” she said simply. “Especially now.”

“But -”

“Nicole -” Waverly grabbed her hand again, drawing it into her lap. “It’s okay, I promise.” She placed a gentle kiss on Nicole’s shoulder. Nicole felt herself relaxing at the touch, but she was still not sure. There was only a thin layer of muscle and skin protecting that baby, surely they would have to be careful.

“I’m going to my 16 week check-up on Tuesday. How ‘bout I ask the doctor about it?” Waverly offered. 

Nicole looked at her and nodded. “16 weeks,” she said slowly. In her head, Waverly was still only 12-or-something weeks along, but of course, time went by and the baby aged with it.

“Yeah. Well, I’ll actually be 17 weeks on Tuesday.” Waverly smiled warmly. Then she took Nicole’s hand and disentangled their fingers before placing it carefully on the lower part of her stomach. 

The bump wasn’t very visible yet. If Nicole hadn’t known how flat Waverly’s abdomen had been before, it could as well have been her natural stomach. Waverly leaned back a bit and pressed her hand down on Nicole’s fingers.

“Feel this?” she asked. 

Nicole scrunched her eyebrows in concentration. Waverly guided her hand a bit further up, where her stomach was softer. 

“Feel the difference?”

Nicole moved her hand down again. She noticed how the flesh felt a bit harder where Waverly pressed her fingers. 

She looked up at Waverly in absolute wonder. Nicole could  _ feel  _ it. She could feel Waverly’s 16-week-old baby, securely in her stomach. She nodded slowly, unable to speak.

Waverly smiled again. “It’s the size of an avocado now.”

“Wow,” Nicole managed with a small voice. Her eyes went back to where Waverly’s hand was covering her own. 

The baby had mostly been an inconvenience in Nicole’s mind. A hurdle in her quest for Waverly’s heart. A pain in Shae’s ass. But now she could feel the warmth radiating from the growing belly and into her hand. It stretched all the way up her arm to her shoulder, and filled her entire chest. Now she could feel a pang of love for the baby instead. 

Too preoccupied with the sudden burst of adoration, Nicole didn’t notice how Waverly leaned forward until her lips connected with her cheek. 

“I’m sorry I waited so long,” whispered Waverly. She buried her nose against Nicole’s shoulder. Nicole placed her hand - the one not currently clutching Waverly’s stomach - on her back and started stroking it slowly up and down. 

“What changed?” she asked softly and kissed Waverly’s forehead.

“Gus,” Waverly answered truthfully, and then… “Oh, shit. Gus…”

She lifted her head suddenly and started looking around for her coat. As she reached for it on the floor, Nicole’s hand was forced to let go. Waverly searched through the pockets until she found her phone. 

“Shit nuggets,” she mumbled as she checked her notifications. “I, uh.  _ Shit _ . I gotta go.”

Nicole was certain that the disappointment she could see on Waverly’s face was equal to her own.

"I borrowed her truck,” Waverly explained in a rushed tone. She typed a quick message to her aunt and hit send. “And she’s supposed to drive back to Purgatory tonight.”

Nicole stood up and held out her hand to help Waverly to her feet, all chivalrous. “No worries,” she said. Her smile didn’t make up for the sad tone. 

Waverly searched for her missing boot for a quick second before putting on her coat and scarf. 

“I’m happy,” she said as soon as she was dressed and standing by the door, ready to go. “You know, for this.”

Nicole grinned. “Me too.”

It wasn’t clear which one of them took the step to close the distance between them, but the result was the same nevertheless. Their kiss was searing hot. Nicole’s hands settled pleasantly on Waverly’s hips, and Waverly’s fingers played with the hair in her neck again. She kinda liked how she had to lean up to reach Nicole’s mouth in this new position. 

They were out of breath in no time, mouths moving clumsily for better contact. It wasn’t until the soft buzz of Waverly’s phone that they tore themselves apart. 

“I’m sorry,” Waverly said.

“I’m not.” Nicole’s smirk was so cocky. Where had she been hiding all this confidence?

Waverly couldn’t help but smile. “Let’s do it again some time.”

“Let’s.”

Waverly leaned in for a last kiss, but Nicole chased her lips and gave her three more before they finally let go of each other.

“I’ll text you,” Waverly promised. 

Nicole nodded and held open the door for her. “Talk to you later.”

She watched how Waverly walked down the corridor and turned around for a small smile before descending down the stairs. 

Nicole was practically floating.

\---

Waverly had to take a moment before she turned the ignition. Her heart was still racing after everything that had gone down. Nicole was… Well, she was amazing. There was no other word for it, really. She was everything Waverly had secretly fantasized about, only fifty times better. She was incredibly gentle, but at the same time just as greedy and hungry as Waverly felt. She shuddered again as she remembered how Nicole had lifted her chin at one point before leaning in for another deep kiss. 

Waverly shook her head and took a deep breath before she finally turned the key. She could feel the low rumble of the engine beneath her as it kicked to life. 

The drive home was very slow. Waverly had to constantly remind herself to focus on the road instead of the pleasant memories of Nicole’s weight pressing down on her. How her skin had felt as Waverly’s hands forced her shirt upwards. How she’d felt so wanted when Nicole had traced her thigh and guided her leg around her waist. How she had answered the silent request of Waverly’s tongue as she traced her soft lips. How her cheeks were flushed and her lips were swollen, and it was because of  _ her _ .

The road. Focus on the road.

Waverly blinked a few times, but no luck. Her mind immediately went back to the pressure of Nicole’s hand on her hip, and how she had jumped up a moment later, scared of squishing Waverly’s baby. However annoyed Waverly was at the loss of contact, Nicole had been all kinds of adorable for worrying about such a thing. When they were sat on the couch a moment later, with both their hands on Waverly’s belly, her chest had heated up with a familiar sensation of warmth and adoration - something that had turned out to be quite common whenever she was around Nicole. But this was something else. Seeing the wonder in Nicole’s eyes as she felt the baby for the first time… It made made Waverly’s heart flutter in a whole new way.

Waverly’s cheeks were still warm when she finally entered the driveway. She tried to act naturally when she opened the door and hung her coat on the rack, but of course nothing went past Gus. She was sitting on a kitchen chair as Waverly sauntered in, trying to act relaxed and innocent. 

“Oh, hey,” Waverly greeted nonchalantly, and then went straight for the sink. Kissing Nicole for all that time had made her absolutely parched. 

“Hi there,” said Gus, as Waverly swallowed big gulps of delicious cold water.

Waverly could hear the amused tone, but chose to ignore it, instead filling another tall glass. Had water always tasted this good?

“Thirsty, are we?”

Waverly turned around, ears burning. She gave Gus a pointed look, but her aunt only chuckled.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, Waverly,” she said genuinely, and went to stand up. With a few strides she was at Waverly’s side, studying the adorable blush and the not-so-secret triumph radiating off of her. She put her hands on Waverly’s shoulders. “Keep that smile, okay?” 

Waverly nodded.

“Good.” Gus patted her shoulder and planted a kiss on the side of her head. “I’m off now.”

Waverly followed her to the hallway, where she had apparently overlooked Gus’ packed bag when she came in. She watched as Gus tied her shoelaces. 

“Wynonna will take you to your appointment on Tuesday. Call me after, okay?” 

Waverly nodded. “Yeah. Of course.”

Gus smiled again. She reached out for Waverly’s hand and gave a short squeeze. “I’m happy for you.”

Waverly didn’t know if Gus realized that  _ Nicole  _ was the one to make her feel like this, or if it was just her face giving away the butterflies in her heart, but it didn’t really matter. Gus was happy for her, no matter what did it. 

“Thanks,” Waverly said and went in for a hug. “Love you.”

“You too, Waverly. Goodbye now.”

“Drive safe.”

Gus winked. “I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @jorekbyrnison (my awesome beta) thought for sure Waverly was gonna crash the car at the end there, and I almost regret not taking the story in that direction, but I guess she deserves some happiness, right?
> 
> Head over to my tumblr @zaxagra if you wanna see the awesome fan art @jorekbyrnison has made for this fic!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, there's not much plot in this chapter. Mostly fluff. I hope that's okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta @jorekbyrnison (who also makes great fan art! Check out her tumblr!)

Waverly [16.04]:  _ Wow _

Waverly [16.04]:  _ I can’t believe that happened _

Nicole [16.04]:  _ Me neither _

Nicole [16.05]:  _ You kinda made my day _

Waverly [16.05]:  _ *heart eyes* _

Waverly had curled up on the couch with her phone. Her lips had formed a constant smile ever since she left Nicole’s apartment. She had no control over them. Whenever she noticed how tense her cheeks were, she tried to tell herself to relax, but to no avail. Her smile was simply unwavering. Maybe it would be there forever.

Nicole [16.07]:  _ Did Gus leave? _

Waverly [16.07]:  _ Yeah _

Waverly [16.08]:  _ I think she suspected something though _

Nicole [16.09]:  _ Like what? ;) _

Waverly considered for a brief second typing “making out with a hot chick”.

Waverly [16.10]:  _ I dunno. She said I looked happy _

Nicole [16.12]:  _ I’m happy too _

She was all giddy, still. The only thing she really wanted was to go back to Nicole’s apartment, or invite Nicole to come here, but it seemed… too much. It was a half hour drive between the two of them, and the bus would take even longer. Waverly knew she had to wait. 

But it was hard.

They kept texting the entire evening. Waverly snapped a picture of her dinner (microwaved leftovers from yesterday), and Nicole responded with a photo of her own chicken tikka from the new Indian place at the north end of campus. Nicole sent a short summary explaining why her sociology professor was being a dick for setting another three day-deadline (over the weekend, no less), and how she was swamped with work until noon tomorrow. Waverly considered for a brief second if she should be feeling guilty for keeping Nicole occupied (first with kisses and now with texting), but decided otherwise. Instead she responded with generous amounts of sympathy and a story about the time she had read the  _ entire _ Jane Austin-bibliography over the summer, because Mrs. Lewis had forgotten to specify they were to choose only  _ one _ item from the summer reading list. “Totally worth it, though,” Waverly typed before hitting send. 

The talk about homework and assignments made Waverly remember her report for Headmaster Moody. She had originally wanted to look over it one last time before sending it off, but she felt brave today, so she just attached the file in an email and clicked “send” without another thought.

Wynonna came home just before eight, and found Waverly lying on her side on the couch, tapping away on her phone. The room had gone dark without Waverly noticing, her eyes occupied only by the messages from Nicole.

“Yo,” said Wynonna, after waiting for Waverly to notice her for thirty long seconds. 

Waverly turned her head to look at the doorway, where Wynonna stood, soaking wet. “Hey,” she answered happily. “Is it raining?”

Wynonna looked at her with wide eyes, as if that much was obvious. “Yes, dumbo. There’s a fucking storm outside.”

As Wynonna said it, Waverly suddenly noticed the howling of the wind and the hammering of heavy rain outside. It was kinda pleasant, actually. Comforting in a way. Perfect for staying in, curled up on the couch. Her already goofy smile widened, and she hummed happily.

“What’s up with you? Looks like a literal rainbow is coming out of your ass.” Wynonna started shedding her soaked clothes on the floor, until she was standing there in only her underwear.

“Oh, I just finished everything on my To Do-list for the weekend,” Waverly answered truthfully. Her sister didn’t need to know that “confessing your feelings to a smokin’ redhead” had somehow found itself on said list. 

Wynonna shook her head and muttered “You’re such a nerd”, before stomping upstairs, leaving wet footprints as she went. She came back a minute later and perfectly ignored the heap of wet clothes she had left behind, taking an elegant stride over it. She’d put on a huge sweater, but no pants, and flung herself on the other couch. 

“There’s leftovers in the fridge,” said Waverly absentmindedly while responding to Nicole’s question about ballet shoes. Somehow they had gone from the climate strike currently going on at Ghost River University to Waverly’s former extracurricular activities. 

“Thanks,” answered Wynonna, but Waverly had already forgotten what that was an answer to. It wasn’t important anyway. “So I’m gonna be at work again tomorrow,” Wynonna started. There was no answer or sign of interest from her sister, so she kept going. “Yeah, I made up with Doc.”

Still nothing. 

“So if you want, he said he could make you dinner at the bar.”

Eventually, Wynonna had to reach out her leg and kick Waverly’s foot to get her attention.

“Dude, I’m talking to you.”

Waverly looked up from her phone.

“Dinner. Tomorrow. Doc’s making burgers.”

“Oh.”

Waverly looked back down at her phone. She had just agreed on dinner at Nicole’s apartment tomorrow. She was going right after school.

“I, uh. I kinda got a thing.”

Wynonna quirked an eyebrow in question.

“I mean, with Chrissy. We’re gonna, uh. Study.”

It was not a very well conceived lie. 

“I’m going to bed,” Waverly announced abruptly and pushed herself up from the couch. “See you tomorrow!”

She was already checking her next notification as she stepped over Wynonna’s discarded clothes, not noticing the disappointed face of her sister behind her.

\---

Nicole was waiting for Waverly at the edge of the park. Waverly had texted her earlier that she would go directly to her apartment, but she had volunteered to meet her about halfway between Waverly’s high school and the university campus because she simply couldn’t wait to see her again. Every minute counted, in her head.

She was gazing down the street where she knew Waverly would appear any moment now. When she finally did, Nicole was only slightly disappointed. Chrissy Nedley was walking next to Waverly, meaning that she would have to wait until her crush's best friend went her own way before she could collect her in her arms. 

Waverly honestly looked as annoyed as Nicole felt when they caught up with her, but only after losing control of her facial features for a split second, letting a giddy smile appear for one glorious moment. Chrissy didn’t notice, but Nicole sure did. Chrissy did however see the face-splitting grin on Nicole’s face as the two of them came to a halt.

“Hi,” Nicole said dumbly. She only had eyes for Waverly. 

“Hi,” answered Waverly, equally transfixed.

They didn’t know how to greet each other with Chrissy being the unwelcome bystander. What had they done before kissing had become an option? They settled on an awkward half-hug that was nowhere good enough. 

After a few moments, Nicole finally turned to look at Waverly’s friend. “Uhm, hi, Chrissy.”

“Hey-o,” said Chrissy cheerfully, clearly amused by the weird situation.

“Chrissy is going to the police station,” Waverly informed.

Nicole looked surprised at that. “Oh?”

“Yeah, my dad is the Chief.”

“Oh!”

Chrissy nodded.

They stood there in silence for a few seconds before Nicole spoke up again, gesturing with her head towards the park behind her. “Well, I thought we could walk through the park? It’s shorter…” She trailed off, trying not to stare too hard at Waverly’s hazel eyes. The bright sky behind her accentuated the shade of crisp blue in them.

“Alright, I’ll go this way then.” Chrissy pointed.

Waverly nodded and shuffled over to stand next to Nicole. 

“See you tomorrow, Waves.”

“Yeah, see you.”

Waverly and Nicole kept their gaze steady on Chrissy’s back as she started walking away. Just when Waverly was about to sneak an affectionate glance at Nicole, Chrissy turned around and hollered “Use a condom!”.

Waverly’s face burned with the redness of Nicole’s hair, and Chrissy sniggered happily as she stalked off down the street.

Nicole cleared her throat. “So, I take it you told Chrissy?”

Waverly shook her head. She had honestly not spoken about Nicole to Chrissy since she told her about her infatuation two weeks ago. “I think maybe she just… guessed.”

Nicole nodded slowly. But then Waverly reached for her hand and laced their fingers together.

“But she’s gone now,” Waverly said with a low voice, turning fully towards Nicole.

Nicole smiled. “She is.”

“Hi,” said Waverly and leaned closer.

“Hi,” answered Nicole. She had made a pact with herself that she wouldn’t kiss Waverly before they  _ talked _ . At least not here, out in the open. But when Waverly took a quick glance around and then went to stand on her tiptoes to reach Nicole’s mouth, all of her resolve went away. Instead, she allowed Waverly to plant a delicate kiss on her lips, feeling the pleasant fluttering of her heart as she did.

Nicole hummed pleasantly when the warmth of Waverly’s mouth disappeared. “Come,” she said, leading Waverly into the park. 

Under the safe cover of thick maple trees, Nicole stole as many kisses as she could manage from the girl at her side, stepping away from her every time they could hear people nearby. They were finally at her apartment a good half hour later - and finally alone. 

Nicole tried to keep her cool as she held out her hand to take Waverly’s coat, remembering the promises she had made to herself. She wanted them to sit down and have a conversation, to sort of figure out what this thing was, and maybe set some ground rules. Also, there was this thing about Shae being her wife that she sort of wanted to get over with.

But when she turned around after carefully hanging their coats on the rack, she stopped in her tracks, because Waverly apparently wasn’t finished undressing. Nicole could feel a burning heat creep up her neck as Waverly pulled her loose sweater over her head, revealing a cream tank top underneath, and just a tiny sliver of soft skin. Her eyes trailed to the place where she had rested her hand yesterday, just below Waverly’s belly button, and then upwards, to the swell of her breasts. Her breath hitched. 

Nicole was shook out of her rather sly gaze when Waverly whimpered. Her elbow had gotten stuck in the garment. Nicole was by her side immediately, to help Waverly out of her confining situation. 

“Thanks,” she said when she was finally free, blushing a bit at her inability to do such a simple task. “I was, uh, kinda hot.”

Nicole couldn’t help but smirk, and with immense self-control she managed to not slip the sleazy line that appeared in her mind. Instead, she just nodded. 

Waverly sat down on the couch, not really knowing how to proceed from here. Her little seance had made her all awkward, and Nicole had gone to the kitchen rather than sit beside her. Waverly had been thinking about this exact couch all day, and was craving the weight of Nicole on top of her, pressing her down into the cushions just like yesterday. But Nicole was putting on the kettle, completely ignoring Waverly’s silent desire.

“Do you want tea?” Nicole asked, interrupting the turmoil inside Waverly’s head.

Waverly turned around to look at her. “Uh, do you  _ have  _ tea?”

Nicole smiled. “Of course I have tea. I don’t drink it much, but I’ve had a packet of Yellow Label Tea in my cupboard forever. I’m getting coffee though.” She pointed at the machine. “But I bought some new tea flavours today, Green Tea with Citrus, and this one, Organic Hibiscus.” 

She held up the two boxes. 

“You bought tea… for me?” Waverly asked, recognising the gesture of kindness.

Nicole shuffled her feet shyly. “Yeah. I mean. You like tea, right?”

“I  _ love  _ tea!” Waverly exclaimed with a bright smile. “I’d like the hibiscus, please.”

Nicole nodded just as the kettle was finished. She prepared their drinks and brought them over to the lounge area of the room, carefully putting the two hot mugs on the coffee table before sitting down. 

Waverly shuffled in her seat so that she was closer to Nicole and leaned forward. She kissed Nicole’s cheek slowly and whispered “Thank you” in her ear. The ghost of Waverly’s breath on her ear did all kinds of things to Nicole, who shivered at the intimate act.

She swallowed. “So, uh. How was school?”

Waverly immediately launched into an intricate retelling of her chemistry project with Jeremy. It was far too complicated for Nicole to comprehend, but she understood that sudden foaming and the color purple where somehow part of it. 

“...and then this gross smell suddenly came from the beaker, and Jeremy who was closest started retching, and then we had to call Poison Control.”

Nicole looked at her with big eyes.

“He’s okay! He’s just a little nauseous. It wasn’t dangerous apparently.”

“But you... I mean -”

“I had a mask,” Waverly said quickly. “Because, well. You know. Just in case.”

Nicole let out a relieved sigh. 

“Speaking of,” Waverly started slowly. She started plucking at a loose thread on her jeans. “I think I’m gonna learn if it’s a boy or a girl tomorrow.”

Nicole grabbed her hand. “Waverly, that’s amazing!” she blurted. 

Waverly turned to look at her. Talking about the pregnancy always gave her mixed feelings. She was absolutely excited about it, and had developed an irrational love for her belly that she hadn’t expected. But there was also a lot of shame and uncertainty. But when she saw the look of pure excitement on Nicole’s face, she relaxed, returning her own smile. 

“Yeah,” she agreed.

“Wow.” Nicole started rubbing her hand up and down Waverly’s arm, clearly running through a list of questions in her head. “What do you think it’s gonna be?”

Waverly laughed. “I dunno, silly. That’s what I’m gonna find out.”

“Yeah, but I mean. You must have a gut feeling? What do you picture when you think about it?”

Waverly shrugged, still pleasantly amused by Nicole’s query. “Well, I guess I just picture a baby. Genderless, I guess.”

Sometimes, an image of her with a tiny baby, wrapped in a soft yellow blanket, appeared in her head. It was usually late at night, when her brain was picturing all kinds of different scenarios. One time she had pictured Nicole with the baby in her arms, a look of adoration in her eyes. Kind of like the look she had now.

“What do  _ you  _ think it’s gonna be?” Waverly asked.

“Oh, wow, I dunno.” Nicole sat back against the backrest, staring absently into the air. She sat like that for a while, silently stroking Waverly’s hand with her thumb before speaking. “It doesn’t really matter, does it? I mean, I was such a tomboy myself. I climbed in trees and played police and robbers with the other kids, and then I started playing basketball. I wasn’t a very  _ girly  _ girl, you know?” She looked at Waverly, who nodded. “So, if it’s a girl, it can still play sports and play with cars and everything, and if it’s a boy, it can play with dolls or ride horses or whatever. Whatever they want.”

Waverly’s smile grew bigger. Nicole was thinking about  _ her _ child. About allowing it to be free and happy. To be loved.

“How about you?” Nicole asked. “What kind of things did you play with when you were little?”

Waverly laughed. “Oh, I was a total princess. I played with barbie dolls and I played dress-up and I  _ loved _ pink. I had this pink dress with ribbons and bows. I think it even had angel wings. Like a fairy suit or something? I dunno, I loved it.” She smiled dreamily when she remembered. “Gus gave it to me for my birthday. It was the only thing I wore for a week.”

Nicole squeezed her hand softly. It wasn’t difficult to picture a young Waverly wearing a cute little fairy princess dress in pink. Even the wings came naturally. “It sounds amazing.”

“It was.”

“I bet you were the cutest kid.”

Waverly shrugged. “I was a lonely kid. But I had my books.”

Nicole squeezed her hand again, a bit longer this time. 

“Curtis gave me these diaries when Wynonna moved away. They were great, but I didn’t really have any friends. Everyone thought the Earps were freaks.”

She grew silent for a bit. A crease appeared between her eyebrows.

“And then we moved away from Purgatory when Curtis died.”

Nicole kept drawing her thumb over Waverly’s knuckles, not wanting to interrupt her story.

“And we went to live here. Chrissy was my first real friend,” she concluded.

Waverly looked up and found Nicole’s soft eyes.  _ And now I’ve got you _ .

She swallowed. Nicole looked so sad. Waverly had told her about her childhood before, so it wasn’t exactly news for her, but the story still seemed to affect her. She reached up and pecked Nicole’s cheek. 

“You don’t have to look at me like that, you know. With those puppy eyes.” She winked.

Nicole chuckled kindly, but she still looked like heartbreak.

“I honestly have a lot of nice things in my life right now,” Waverly explained. “I’ve got my sister back, and there’s this kid that I’m kinda happy about. And there’s you.”

Nicole’s face changed at the last part. First open, amazed, but upon seeing the hitch of Waverly’s breath at the last words, the caramel in her eyes seemed to ignite. Waverly could feel her heart accelerating. Her eyes went down to Nicole’s lips, where she drew a staggered breath. She looked up again, just as Nicole pulled Waverly’s hand to her mouth. She kissed it slowly.

Waverly couldn’t take it anymore. With her free hand, she grabbed the collar of Nicole’s shirt and pulled her against her.  

“Just kiss me,” she breathed. 

Nicole’s mouth was against hers in an instant, hot and wet and delicious. Waverly raked her fingers up Nicole’s neck and into her braided hair, pulling just enough that it spurred Nicole on. She traced her tongue against Waverly’s bottom lip for a second and then teased it hungrily with her teeth. Waverly could feel Nicole’s smirk against her face as she pulled herself into her lap. She wanted to be closer, to feel Nicole’s body against her own. Nicole obliged immediately. She slid her hands around Waverly’s waist and helped her position herself fully in her lap, so that Waverly’s legs were on either side of her hips, and her chest pressing against Nicole’s. A sudden moan escaped from Waverly when Nicole’s hands moved smoothly from her waist and down to the backs of her thighs, squeezing eagerly. The sound only made her want more.

She started tracing her tongue along Waverly’s jaw, hoping to elicit another moan. She wanted to taste Waverly’s skin, the saltiness and the sweetness in perfect harmony. Waverly let her head fall back so that Nicole’s mouth had access to the underside of her jaw and her neck. She went to work immediately, leaving wet kisses and sucking lightly on her soft skin. As Nicole’s lips trailed downwards toward Waverly’s collarbone, her hands moved up her thighs until they were lightly cupping her buttocks. The combination made Waverly groan salaciously. She put her left hand over Nicole’s right, and squeezed down with it into her flesh. The other was still twisted into Nicole’s messy hair, the braid now completely ruined. 

Time seemed to stop while Waverly and Nicole clutched each other in an eager frenzy. 

“Oh God,” Waverly whimpered. Nicole’s lips had reached her neck and she promptly sank her teeth into it. Waverly swallowed heavily, feeling flustered in a whole new way. Nicole had lit her skin on fire with her mouth, and now Waverly was ready for more. Her arousal grew with every kiss from Nicole, with every squeeze from her fingers. She was positively dizzy with lust. Or just… dizzy?

“Wait, wait,” Waverly gasped just as Nicole’s mouth reached an especially nice spot just below her ear. Nicole stopped her actions immediately. Her hands let go of her butt and slid up to hold her waist again. 

“I’m sorry, I got carried away.” Her face was flushed and she was breathing heavily. Then she noticed how Waverly's eyes were squeezed shut. “Is something wrong?” she asked softly. 

Waverly opened her eyes. Nicole’s face was very close and very concerned. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just -” She sighed. “Dizzy.”

“Oh, shit.” Nicole wrapped her arms securely around Waverly’s body. With surprisingly little effort she stood up from the couch with Waverly clutching onto her like a koala. She bent to lay her down on the cushions, swiftly grabbing a pillow to tuck under her head. Then she reached for Waverly’s mug on the table.

“Shit, you’re tea’s gone cold. You want some water? Or more tea?” 

She was already halfway to the kitchen when Waverly managed to grab her hand. “No, wait.” 

Nicole returned quickly, crouching next to Waverly’s hips.

“I’m fine, Nicole. Just a bit dizzy. I get like that sometimes.”

Nicole nodded, but her worried eyes remained.

Waverly scooched a bit to make room on the couch. She patted the spot and Nicole obediently sat down. “I’m okay, I promise.”

She took Nicole’s hand and kissed her knuckles. 

“You have nice hands,” Waverly said with a playful smirk. 

Finally Nicole sighed. Relief seemed to wash through her and clear out the worry.

“I’ll tell you if something is wrong, okay?” Waverly said. “Until then, you’re doing everything right.”

Nicole nodded seriously. 

Waverly smiled reassuringly. Just then her stomach growled. “But maybe we should get some food? I’m getting kinda hungry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Waverly goes for her 16 (17) week check-up. What do you think will happen??
> 
> Find me on tumblr @zaxagra!


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly has her ultrasound check-up. There are some nice Earp sister-moments in here, too. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to my amazing beta/friend: @jorekbyrnison!

Chrissy waggled her eyebrows at Waverly the entire ride to school the next morning. Chief Nedley sat in the front seat and was asking Waverly polite questions about Gus’ work in Purgatory, and Waverly was working hard to block Chrissy out to be able to give a coherent answer. When they arrived at school, Waverly waited until the car was out of sight before she punched Chrissy’s arm rather hard.

“Ow!” said Chrissy and rubbed the spot.

They walked to their lockers while Chrissy sulked over the bruise that would inevitably appear, until she finally asked the question she was dying to know. 

“Sooo,” she said and leaned nonchalantly against the metal doors while Waverly opened her locker. “Is Nicole Haught your _girlfriend_ now?”

“Shush. Chrissy, not so loud,” Waverly whispered harshly and looked around, but there was no one near them. 

“Dude, come on,” Chrissy continued, lowering her own voice. “Tell me everything.”

“We just kissed,” Waverly whispered truthfully and pulled out her French book. 

“When?”

“Sunday.”

“Well, who started it?”

Waverly closed her locker, banging the metal a little harder than anticipated. She didn’t answer. It felt so private. Nicole was her little secret and it felt so good to have her all for herself. 

“Come on, I wanna now,” whined Chrissy.

Waverly sighed. “I did.”

Chrissy’s face lit up like a damn Christmas tree. “Dude! Congratulations!”

“Thanks,” Waverly said. A proud smile forced itself on her face before she could help herself, making Chrissy even happier.

They started walking towards Professor Beaufort’s classroom, even though Chrissy had psychology with Mr. Spades in the north end of the building.

“Hey, what happened with you and Robin?” Waverly asked, suddenly remembering Chrissy’s own infatuation.

Chrissy shrugged, not giving away any emotion. “I dunno. We hung out a bit, but then it kinda dabbed off.”

“Huh,” said Waverly. Robin and Chrissy still acted the same at lunch, in her opinion. “Maybe he just needs some time to figure it out. You could talk to him?”

Chrissy sighed. “I guess.” 

Then the bell rang and Chrissy remembered how she was supposed to go in the opposite direction for her own class. 

\---

Wynonna picked Waverly up at one o’clock for her doctor’s appointment. They were quiet the entire ride to the hospital, with Waverly staring out of the window, deep in thought. She was suddenly very nervous for the scheduled ultrasound. She had really been looking forward to see an updated picture of her foetus, and not least learn the gender, but now another thought struck her. What if something wasn’t right?

“We’re here,” Wynonna announced, far too soon. 

They were in the waiting room only a few minutes later, sitting in silence on two plastic chairs. There were two other people there: a woman with a belly that looked about to explode, and a man, probably her husband. He was talking on the phone the entire time while the woman read a magazine. She kept stroking her ginormous belly, sometimes smiling and rubbing a little extra on one side of her stomach. Waverly thought that maybe the woman could feel her baby kicking, and then wondered how it would feel to have an actual tiny human moving inside you. 

The next time the woman felt a kick, Waverly smiled just as wide as her.

A nurse came and called the woman’s name. She needed help from the man to get up from her chair, puffing a bit as she went. 

“You okay, Waves?” Wynonna asked as the woman waddled to the examination room. 

Waverly stared after her a bit before answering. “I’m gonna be huge.” She swallowed.

“It’s only temporary.” Wynonna put her hand on Waverly’s arm.

They were silent again. The ticking from the clock on the wall was almost too loud.

“What if there’s something wrong with it?” Waverly asked quietly. It was only now, when they were so close to finding out, that she dared speak the words out loud. 

“What, with the baby?”

Waverly nodded. 

Wynonna squeezed her arm. “We’ll just have to deal with it, baby girl.”

It was another fifteen minutes before a second nurse came and called her name. 

The doctor was sitting with her back to them when they came in, tapping away on a computer. Waverly and Wynonna sat down on the two chairs clearly meant for them and waited for the doctor to be finished with whatever it was she was doing. 

Eventually she swivelled around in her chair and greeted them with a big smile. 

“Hi, there,” she said and reached out her hand. “I’m Doctor Nyhlen.”

They presented themselves and then the doctor turned her big smile to Waverly. “So, Waverly, how are you feeling?”

“Uhm, okay.”

“You are week…?” Doctor Nyhlen waited for Waverly to fill in the blanks.

“Seventeen.”

“And how many days?”

“Uh, zero.”

The doctor nodded and wrote it on a piece of paper.

“Do you have any morning sickness? Back pain? Leg cramps?”

“Uh, no. I had morning sickness, but it stopped. Thankfully.” Waverly smiled shyly. “Am I going to have leg cramps?” She hadn’t read about that yet.

“It’s not uncommon in the second and third trimester,” Doctor Nyhlen explained. “Especially in the evening or at night. But not everyone has them.” She winked.

Waverly swallowed. Still so much to look forward to... “Oh, I was dizzy yesterday,” she remembered. “For a bit.”

The doctor nodded. “Your body has a high level of a hormone called progesterone at the moment. This relaxes the smooth muscle cells in your blood vessels, making them expand, which will in turn decrease your blood pressure. This can cause dizziness. It is important to eat regularly and prevent dips in your blood sugar. And stay hydrated.” She smiled. “Was it triggered by something in particular?”

“Uh…” Waverly could feel her cheeks heating up. “It was, uh, during PE.” 

Wynonna only raised her eyebrows in slight surprise, but didn’t say anything. She didn’t have PE on Mondays, but Wynonna probably didn’t know that. 

Doctor Nyhlen answered, “That is quite common. When you exercise, your blood vessels will expand. Adding progesterone to that, you can have quite the fall in blood pressure, making you dizzy. You didn’t faint?”

Waverly shook her head. 

“Good. If you ever faint, I want you to call us, okay?”

Waverly nodded. “Okay.”

“And if you get dizzy again, just try to lie down with your feet up, and eat and drink something. It’s important to stay hydrated, especially during exercise.”

Waverly was grateful for the thorough explanation. She filed it all away so that she could tell Nicole later. Her fussing over Waverly was honestly adorable, but not if it prevented kisses. 

“Any other questions before we move on to the exam?” Doctor Nyhlen asked.

Waverly took a deep breath. Speaking of Nicole worrying… “I was wondering about, well, pressure on my stomach. I mean, if I lie down on my stomach, or if -” She swallowed, very aware of Wynonna sitting right beside her. “If some _one_ was to lie on my stomach.”

It felt as though her whole face was on fire. She knew her cheeks were probably a dark shade of red, and she refused to look at Wynonna. 

“It’s okay to sleep on your stomach,” the doctor reassured her, ignoring Waverly’s flush. “But as your stomach grows, it will become more difficult and even uncomfortable. But you will adjust to this naturally. As to someone lying on your stomach, this is also regulated by your comfort levels. As long as you’re okay, it’s alright. Now, as you’re nearing week 20, some women will have a hard time sleeping on their back, because the heavy uterus will put pressure on the vena cava - that is the large vein pumping blood back to your heart - and this can again cause dizziness and even shortness of breath.”

This was a whole new concern for Waverly. “But, what if I accidentally sleep on my back? I mean, I can’t control it.”

“You’ll probably regulate it naturally, while you’re sleeping. If you ever wake up on your back, you can just change your position and continue.” She smiled reassuringly. “Sleeping on your side with a pillow between your knees is a position many women find comfortable during pregnancy.”

“Okay.” Waverly nodded. She made a mental note to test different sleeping positions.

Doctor Nyhlen studied her for a second. “Have you felt any movement yet?”

Waverly’s eyes went wide, her hand subconsciously reaching for her belly. “No, am I supposed to?”

The doctor gave another one of those reassuring smiles. Waverly wasn’t sure if she liked them. “It’s possible to start feeling flutters or maybe even kicks around this time, but it is completely normal to not feel anything yet.”

Waverly nodded, relieved.

“Anything else?” the doctor asked.

Waverly shook her head. 

“I want you to collect a urine sample. Do you need to pee right now?”

“Yes,” Waverly said quickly. She was peeing more frequently now, and she hadn’t been to the toilet since the start of her lunch break.

She went quickly to the toilet in a small side room, and came back with the urine sample, safely collected in a plastic container. The doctor took it from her and pointed to a scale. 

“Now your weight.”

Waverly took a deep breath before stepping onto the digital scale. She knew she was supposed to gain weight, and it was very obvious that she had, but being confronted by the increasing number still wasn't very fun. The digital screen jumped for a few second before it settled on a number. Waverly had gained about seven pounds since she found out about her pregnancy. This was apparently very satisfactory as the doctor nodded happily and wrote it down. 

“And lastly, the ultrasound.”

This was the exciting bit. Waverly quickly stepped off the scaleo and hopped up on the examination table. She drew up her shirt to show off the slight bulge on her lower stomach. Wynonna came to stand next to her head, like she had last time. Doctor Nyhlen adjusted the backrest of the table a bit and tucked a towel around Waverly’s elastic waistband before spurting a large splotch of cold gel right beneath her belly button. 

“Can you see if everything is alright with the baby?” Waverly asked carefully as the doctor positioned her probe.

“I’ll check for any obvious birth defects,” she promised. “And I’ll take some measurements, to see if the development is as we expect at this stage. And I’ll probably be able to see the sex of the baby. Do you want to know?”

Waverly nodded quickly. Wynonna squeezed her shoulder. 

Doctor Nyhlen started smearing the gel around with the probe while unreadable images appeared on the screen. Then she positioned the probe right above Waverly’s pubic bone, and with a slight twist of her wrist, a perfect cross-section of an actual human body revealed itself.

“There we go,” she said.

She started pointing at the screen, telling Waverly the different limbs and organs of her baby.

“You see the arms and the legs, and obviously the head. If I go like this you can see the heart beating, which is perfect. And here we have - Oh, here’s some movement.”

Clear as day, the outline of a tiny leg on the screen stretched forward before returning to its flexed position. Waverly grabbed Wynonna’s hand hard, a storm of butterflies suddenly in her chest. She hadn’t felt the kick, but it had happened right there on the screen, right before her eyes.

The doctor continued her tour of Waverly’s uterus. “You can see the ribs and the vertebrae. The placenta… And all this is amniotic fluid. And here -” She pointed. “Is the scrotum, and a penis.”

Waverly drew her breath sharply in wicked surprise. The revelation had been sprung on her, coming out of nowhere to kick her in the heart. She would have a boy. A perfect baby boy.

“I’m gonna have a boy,” she whispered full of wonder, the butterflies successfully doubling their effort.

Waverly turned to look at her sister for a second. Her face was very much filled with adoration for the little creature on the screen. 

Wynonna squeezed her hand. “He’s gonna be perfect.”

“Yes, Doctor, is he okay? I mean, is he healthy?” Waverly turned back to look at the woman, suddenly anxious.

“From what I have seen so far he looks to be a healthy baby boy, but I will take some measurements and we’ll know a bit more, okay?”

Waverly nodded, the anxiety not quite letting go of her. 

“Of course, we won’t know until he’s born,” Doctor Nyhlen continued. “And even then there are some things we won’t know until he’s older.”

Waverly swallowed. _That’s what being a parent is all about,_ she realized. _Worrying about everything all the time._

The doctor started pressing buttons, freezing the screen and making lines and dots appear. After a couple of minutes she seemed satisfied. With a final click on the machine, she printed a few snapshots of Waverly’s boy. Doctor Nyhlen handed her the pictures and a towel to get the gel off, and went back to her desk to plot her findings into a program.

Waverly cleaned her stomach while Wynonna held the pictures securely in her hands.

The doctor turned around just as Waverly slid off the table. “Everything seems to be fine, Waverly. He is growing at a normal rate. His weight is estimated to be around three ounces.”

“Thank you,” Waverly said and sat down again on the chair, but the doctor smiled and told her they were finished.

“Your next appointment is in four weeks. Call us if you have any questions or concerns before that, alright?”

“Yes, I will,” Waverly promised.

She left the office with a lighter heart, having rid herself off a few concerns, but having gained a few others. Most importantly, she had a stack of photos of her beautiful baby boy.

\---

Waverly’s red truck was filled with a new kind of excitement as Wynonna navigated the vehicle out of the hospital’s parking lot. Waverly had the pictures in her lap, carefully studying the blurry features of her fetus. 

“You wanna get Chinese?” Wynonna asked. “We can get that weird soup you like?”

Waverly looked at her with a dreamy grin. Nicole had bought them Chinese yesterday, but she didn’t mind. “Yes, please.”

A nod and they were silent again.

“So, what are you gonna call him, huh?”

Waverly raised her eyebrows. “Oh, shit, he’s gotta have a name.”

Wynonna chuckled. “Yeah, dofus. How about Thor?”

“What, like the Avenger?”

“No, like the Norse God! The God of Thunder ring a bell? I thought _you_ were the smart one.”

Waverly couldn’t help but smile. “How about Wyatt?”

“Wyatt Earp? Like the old cowboy?”

“Yeah?”

Wynonna shook her head. “Dude, he’s gonna be picked on so hard. Wyatt Earp isn’t even our ancestor.”

Waverly thought for a bit, but nothing came to her mind.

“How aboooout -” Wynonna thought out loud. “- Jedi? Jedi Earp.”

Waverly practically snorted. “No.”

“Orson?”

“Nope.”

“Georgio?”

Waverly shook her head.

“Armani?”

“Wynonna!”

But she would not be stopped. “West?”

“ _West_ Earp? It sounds like a geographical location.”

“Kinda like North West, huh?”

Waverly rolled her eyes.

Wynonna hummed for a bit, deep in thought. “You’ve left me with quite the pickle, baby girl.”

They bickered about baby names the entire drive home, making a pit stop by their favorite Chinese restaurant. Just as they were settling on the couch for dinner, Wynonna’s phone buzzed.

“Ugh, Doc,” she groaned as she checked the display. She ignored the call, instead opening a container of fried won-tons. It definitely spiked Waverly’s curiosity.

“Hey, you never told me what happened with Doc.” She tried for a casual tone, not wanting to scare Wynonna off. Her sister wasn’t big on sharing her innermost thoughts. Bottling things up usually did the trick.

“We talked,” Wynonna said, just as casually.

“So..?” 

Wynonna took her time, dipping a won-ton in sweet and sour sauce before putting it in her mouth. She chewed for a long time. 

“He put me back on the roster,” she finally said, mouth still full.

“ _Wynonna_ ,” whined Waverly. She wanted juicy details, not obvious facts.

Wynonna swallowed. “What? It’s not like you’re telling me anything about _your_ life.”

The accusation hit home. Waverly blinked a few times, letting the words sink in. She’d been absent lately. The whole thing with Nicole had been quite the whirlwind, first with the not talking to each other, and then with the kissing. But she didn’t want to tell her sister, not yet. She needed some more time before she was ready to _come out_. 

She processed all of this very quickly, before snarking back an answer. “You just saw my son’s penis, I think I share enough.”

Wynonna almost choked on a piece of broccoli, but the sound quickly changed into a humorous laugh instead. Waverly watched as her sister shook her head in laughter, pleased with the reaction. 

Wynonna finally wiped the tears from eyes, and answered more truthfully. “No, sis, I went over there. Barged into his apartment above the bar like there was no tomorrow to get my job back. And then, get this! He was wrapped in some kind of weird sexy yoga position with that Rosita chick!”

Waverly raised her eyebrows. The image of a buck naked Doc Holliday, still with his cowboy hat on, tangled with some kind of latina beauty was definitely _not_ something she wanted to see. 

“I know!” Wynonna exclaimed at the look on Waverly’s face. “So then I went and told him I’d be there doing inventory on Sunday, and that was it.”

“So, he just let you come back?”

Wynonna smirked evilly. “Let’s just say I got a picture of him in a _compromising_ position.” She winked and took a swig of her beer.

“And Dolls?”

“I dunno. He hasn’t been to work the last few days.”

Waverly nodded slowly. “So now you’re _single_?”

“Just like you, sis. A happily single virgo with hair for days.”

God knew that was nowhere true. Wynonna needed someone in her life, just like Waverly did, and Doc had seemed to make her happy. For a while, at least.

“I tried to tell you,” Wynonna said matter-of-factly, emphasizing her point with the won-ton on her fork. “About Doc. But you were… I dunno. Struggling.”

She looked at Waverly who was poking around in her sweet and sour soup. There it was again. The looming topic of Nicole Haught. But Wynonna never connected Waverly’s ‘struggles’ to the sexy ginger. She thought it was all because of the pregnancy.

“Did you figure out how you want to tell everyone at school?” Wynonna asked tentatively.

Waverly shrugged, glad that the subject was evaded yet again.

“You gonna tell Perky-tits?”

She snorted. “I’m not telling her _anything_.”

“Who then?”

“Rachel, maybe? Or Sonya.”

Wynonna nodded and waved her fork around, spluttering sweet and sour sauce on her ripped skinny jeans. “Good plan. Solid.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congrats to everyone who guessed it was gonna be a boy! Why did no one think it was a girl, though? Spoiler alert: my beta thought it would be a girl. 
> 
> Leave a comment if you want! Or come yell at me on tumblr @zaxagra


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly tells the school about her pregnancy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I had very limited time editing this as there's been a lot going on at uni and I've been applying to jobs for the summer, but I hope it turned out alright.
> 
> Thanks for the never-ending support, @jorekbyrnison! Couldn't have done this without you.

Waverly would have been happy if the whole school just suddenly knew she was pregnant, without there being much of a fuss. But of course, it wasn’t that easy. Waverly had to actually  _ tell _ people, instead of chickening out at the very last second. 

At lunch break on Wednesday, when Waverly went to pee (for the fourth time that day), she found Rachel throwing up in the ladies room in the East wing. Having some experience with vomiting lately, Waverly quietly handed her some paper towels and sat down to stroke the girl’s back. She wasn’t the best of friends with Rachel, but she couldn’t just ignore her when she was sitting right there with the stall door open and wet streaks down her cheeks. 

“Thanks,” Rachel had said when there wasn’t much left in her stomach. She sat back on her heels and rested her head against the thin wall of the toilet stall. She huffed humorlessly, telling Waverly that “You’d think I’d be pregnant, right? I swear I just ate something weird.”

Waverly nodded, her eyes full of understanding. 

The situation was perfect. Rachel was one of the school’s top blabbermouths, and here she was, telling Waverly how  _ she  _ wasn’t pregnant. All Waverly had to do was say “But I am”. She waited too long, though, because Rachel got up and went to splash water on her face by the sink, and then a couple of first years came in, and the opportunity was gone.

A whole day passed before the next occasion presented itself.

Waverly was on her way to the parking lot where Wynonna was supposed to pick her up after school, when Pete York caught up with her. 

“Hey, Waverly,” he greeted when he was by her side.

“Oh, hey, Pete,” Waverly answered absentmindedly, her eyes trailing the parking lot for a familiar red truck.

Pete started rubbing his neck awkwardly, but Waverly didn’t really notice. “So, uh, I had a question.”

Waverly’s eyes found her truck, where Wynonna was waving enthusiastically at her from the driver’s seat. She nodded towards her sister and then turned to look at Pete, finally giving him her full attention.

Pete started talking with stumbling words, never quite making eye contact with the girl in front of him. 

“Well, I just wanted to say that, uh. Champ, he -” He shuffled from foot to foot, tramping down the melting snow as he went. “- he never treated you right. And I was thinking, you know, that any man at Ghost River High would be lucky to have you. And I was also thinking, uh -”

_ Shit shit shit. _

Waverly quickly opened her mouth. “- that, uh, you should find a girl like me, only taller, right?” She did  _ not  _ like where this was going. “So she can actually get into the custom-lifted tricked-out pick-up truck of yours.”

She tried to smile jokingly, but it turned out rather awkward.

Pete scrunched his eyebrows, trailing his eyes from her face and down to his shoes. “Yeah. Right.”

Wynonna honked the horn then, and stuck her head out of the window. “Waverly, move!”

Waverly almost felt like punching herself in the face as she sat down in the passenger seat. “Ugh, I should have told him,” she growled.

“What did he say?” Wynonna asked, eyeing the boy who was still shifting his feet were Waverly had left him.

“I think he wanted to ask me out.”

Wynonna considered the boy for a moment. He was undeniably kinda cute with his ruffled beard and his checkered flannel. “I’d tap that.”

“Ugh.”

She turned to look at Waverly, an amused smirk on her face. “Why did you say no?”

“Because! He’s Pete.” 

And because she already liked someone else. 

Waverly sighed. “I should have just said 'Sorry, Pete, I don’t think you wanna date a pregnant chick' or something.”

Wynonna only chuckled as she started the car. 

Waverly watched the defeated boy as they backed out of the parking lot. Champ was coming up behind him together with Carl. He clapped his hand heavily on Pete’s shoulder, making Pete jump with surprise. He laughed awkwardly when he saw who the assailant was. Champ was wearing his Blue Devils varsity jacket and had his gym bag slung over his shoulder. There was a game tonight, Waverly remembered. She wasn’t going. 

Champ said something to Pete and he answered with a shrug. Just as Wynonna changed the gear, making the engine sputter with effort, Champ lifted his face to the familiar truck. Waverly caught his squinting eyes for a short second before they were out of sight. 

She hadn’t seen him much lately. He was cutting classes left and right, and he had even missed hockey practices according to Robin. With a sudden pang of guilt, Waverly wondered if he was alright. He had such a big mouth, always bragging about everything, but she knew from first hand experience how even  _ he  _ got insecure sometimes. She remembered how he had looked at her sometimes with begging eyes after losing a game, praying for her to take him home instead of going out with the team. She had always read his signals, always knowing when he needed to be just the two of them. Those moments had made her feel wanted. Like she was important to  _ him  _ too. But they had been far between. 

Maybe he needed her now, Waverly thought, but she quickly shook the thought away. He had hurt her and he had used her and he didn’t deserve anything.  _ Fuck it _ , she thought and curled her trembling fingers into a fist. 

But even as she condemned her first great love, she couldn’t help but wonder if he deserved to know about his child. The child that was growing steadily inside of her. She had decided to keep it, and was planning on raising it as her son, without Champ by her side. She knew he didn’t want a part in it, and she had accepted her fate as a single parent, but still. She  _ had  _ taken the choice away from him and hadn’t even let him know. 

Did he have the right to know before the whole school knew? Probably. Did he deserve it? Definitely not. Should she do the right thing and tell him anyway? 

Honestly, she didn’t even want to ask him what he thought about it, afraid that he might want to be a father anyway. 

Many hours later, when she was lying in bed, she finally decided she would tell him first. But speaking face to face? He would never allow that to happen. So Waverly reached in the dark for her cellphone, fumbling with her book on the nightstand before finding the device. 

_ Waverly  _ [23.10]: Hey, I decided to keep the baby. Just wanted to let you know before anyone else.

She lay awake waiting for a reply for a solid hour before sleep forced her eyes shut.

\---

The weekend was approaching rapidly, and the secret still wasn’t out. Waverly was really starting to worry that this would drag out until the trip to Jake’s Lake Resort  _ which was in one week _ , but then Friday happened.

Everyone was gathered around Jake himself when Waverly entered the classroom together with Chrissy. Mrs. Lewis hadn’t arrived yet, and neither had Champ. This was one of the few classes they actually shared, and Waverly had been kinda nervous to meet him after her text yesterday. 

She put her bag next to her seat, checking her phone once more before she went to see what was going on with the crowd around Jake’s desk at the back of the classroom. She could just see him over Sonya’s shoulder, listing names on a piece of paper.

“What’s going on?” Waverly asked the group in general. 

Betty was the one to answer. “Oh, hey, Waverly. You’re coming, right? Spring break?”

Waverly nodded. “Yeah.”

“Jake’s brother is helping us get beer kegs, so he’s writing up everyone who wants to join.”

“Oh.”

Jake looked up, meeting Waverly’s curious eyes. “You want in, Earp?” he asked, already putting his pen on the paper.

She shook her head. “No, I don’t drink.”

A couple of people turned to look at her at this statement. Sonya actually snorted. Apparently the thought of an abstinent Earp was  _ that _ ridiculous. Even though Wynonna hadn’t actually attended Ghost River High, she was well known in the big city.

“What? Sure you do,” Sonya said.

Waverly swallowed.  _ Now or never, Earp.  _ She felt Chrissy’s hand nudge her own for courage. 

“No, I don’t,” Waverly repeated, her voice clear and steady. “I’m pregnant.”

The silence was immediate. Jake looked at her with giant eyes as if she’d told him she had cancer. Betty held her hand in front of her mouth, looking absolutely dumbfounded. Sonya couldn’t quite decide if Waverly was joking or not. Chrissy was holding her breath.

Waverly looked at all of them - probably fifteen students or more - waiting for anyone to say something. It was truly a comical scene with the varying degrees of confusion, horror and curiosity displayed on their faces. She tried to smile, to let them know that it was okay, that  _ she _ was okay, but it felt like she was almost as stunned as the rest of them.

It wasn’t until the door opened and Mrs. Lewis rushed in that the spell was broken. 

“I’m sorry I’m late,” she said, completely unaware of the situation she had walked in on. 

People tore their staring glares from Waverly to look at their teacher. She was sweaty and flustered as usual as she threw her bag on her chair and started pulling out heavy books. A few students started to drift off towards their seats, but the majority stayed right where they were, their mouths gaping and their eyes trained on Waverly. 

“Come on, let’s get seated.” Mrs. Lewis was flicking through the pages of their textbook until she found the right chapter. She turned to write today’s topic on the blackboard: ‘Confederation poets’. 

Most students went to find their seats now, Waverly included. 

Instead of the suffocating silence, a low buzz started. Students where whispering to each other and casting curious glances at Waverly. 

She felt everyone’s eyes on her as she grabbed her own book from her bag, finding the page Mrs. Lewis had written on the board. It had a picture of Curtis’ favorite poet in the corner, Sir Charles G. D. Roberts. A giant mustache covered most of his face. Curtis used to cite lines from Roberts’ poems in the morning, swivelling around with his large coffee mug, kissing Gus on the cheek and making a young Waverly giggle. But Waverly didn’t giggle now. Instead her neck burned and she resisted the urge to wrap her arms around her stomach, protecting it from view. It would only make things worse.

Waverly sighed. She  _ had  _ planned for this. She had very purposefully shared her secret with her classmates, but now that she’d actually done it, she didn’t exactly feel good. A new wave of shame washed over her, along with a solid dose of familiar fear for what everyone would think. Perfect Waverly, Class President. Knocked up. 

Mrs. Lewis had to call for attention three times before the murmurs fell silent. She looked more annoyed than usual. 

Champ’s seat next to Sonya remained empty.

The lesson went forth rather uneventfully, but as soon as the bell rang signaling the end of class, the classroom exploded with exciting talk. Waverly packed her bag super slowly, concentrating very hard on putting her books and pens in the right place so that everyone would leave without talking to her. 

When the room eventually turned quiet she stood up. She was expecting to find only Chrissy waiting for her by the door, but for some reason Jake was there too, standing by his chair with his backpack slung over one shoulder. 

“Hey, uh, you okay?” he asked when Waverly noticed him.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you, I mean -” He stepped closer to her, his eyes full of compassion, but he didn’t seem to know what to say.

Waverly’s lips turned up into a tired smile. “I’m okay, Jake. Seriously. I’m happy.”

He nodded, but he didn’t really look like he believed her. “Are you still coming for spring break?”

“Yeah, I’m really looking forward to it,” she said and nodded. 

He smiled. “Great, me too.”

They were at the door now, where Chrissy, as predicted, was patiently waiting for Waverly. 

Jake stopped and turned to Waverly. “Just, uh, tell me. If there’s anything I can do. You know, with class president and everything.”

Her heart jumped in her chest. “Thanks, Jake.” She was so grateful. At least there was one person, beside her friends, who accepted her decision. Even better, he was ready to help.

\---

The news spread like wildfire. Every student and teacher knew by the end of the school day. Wherever Waverly went, whispers emerged and eyes would follow her. There were three more students coming up to her, asking if she was okay. One of them was in grade 11, and Waverly had never talked to her before. 

She bumped into Fish, the school nurse, on her way to her last lesson. He was talking with the ice hockey coach right outside the teacher’s lounge, but quietly excused himself when he noticed Waverly.

“Uh, hi,” he said, his voice soft and kind. “I hear you’re the school talk.”

She nodded tiredly. “It was time to let everyone know.”

He looked surprised, but accepted Waverly’s stance. “My office is always open, you know.”

“I know.” 

She would have liked to talk to Fish for another minute or so, but carrying all those glares and whispers around was starting to pull her down, and she just had to keep going to keep it all together. She could feel the tears pressing at her eyes.

“I gotta go to class,” she said quietly, evading his kind eyes.

He stepped aside to let her pass, and his eyes just became another pair that bore themselves into her back as she hurried down the hall. 

As soon as the last bell rang, Waverly locked herself into the handicap toilet. It was too much. She was so tired of all the attention. Tired of how she could hear her name whispered in every conversation at lunch. Tired of how the room fell quiet as soon as she stepped into the Chemistry lab. Tired of the pitiful glances from her friends. 

She burst into tears, letting the salty liquid wash away her exhaustion. She knew this was just something she had to get through, sooner rather than later, and then things would get better.  _ I wanted this _ , she reminded herself as she stood there with her palms pressed against her eyes, but it was getting difficult to remember why. 

Crying felt good though. After ten minutes, she was able to get her breath under control again, and after five more, she had blown her nose and cleaned her face. Her eyes were still puffy and red, but at least the tear stains on her cheeks were gone. 

She nodded at herself in the mirror, ready to face the judgement of the public one more time before she could escape to the safety of her own home. Luckily, the school was as good as empty when she finally stepped out into the corridor. She didn’t stop to talk to anyone on her way out, and once outside, she was protected by her big coat and warm scarf that she could bury her face in. She walked home quickly, let herself in and collapsed on the couch.

\---

Waverly had been curled up on the couch for a good hour when Gus called. She let it ring a few times before reaching out a tentative hand.

"Hi," she said, her voice thick.

"Hi, honey," said Gus’ distant voice. When Waverly didn’t answer, she added, “Are you alright?” 

She sounded worried. Waverly's mood had gone from sad to happy and back to sad again in a matter of hours lately. One could never really know what to expect.

"I told the kids at school," Waverly explained, her voice still ruff.

Gus was quiet for a moment before answering. "What did they say?"

"Not much. Just… stares and whispers."

She could hear Gus' sigh.

"I'm sorry, honey. At least it's done."

Waverly didn't answer. That's exactly what she'd tried to tell herself, but they weren't exactly words of comfort.

"Is Wynonna with you?"

Waverly shook her head before she remembered that Gus couldn't see her face. "No. She's at work."

"Do you want me to call her? You shouldn't be alone."

Waverly shook her head again. "Nicole is coming over." She had invited her over for dinner yesterday, when she found out that Wynonna was closing the bar tonight.

"Alright. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Gus."

Waverly had promised Nicole she would make dinner, and she’d been super excited about it yesterday. She’d found a recipe with baked sweet potato and fried chickpeas that she really wanted to try out, but now, with the day she’d had, it was suddenly very hard to to get up from her curled up position underneath her blanket. So when the doorbell finally rang, announcing Nicole's arrival, a pang of guilt shot through her for entirely different reasons.

Nicole's smile faltered immediately when Waverly opened the door. The house was dark and cold. Waverly hadn't bothered to turn on the lights when she got home, and with twilight setting in, the hallway had become looming and uninviting. It didn't exactly help Waverly's already defeated demeanor.

"Oh, Wave," Nicole said and drew her into her arms, without knowing the reason for Waverly's sorrows. 

Waverly curled herself against Nicole's chest, letting those warm hands rub up and down her back.

"I wanted to tell them," Waverly confessed with a shaky voice. "But it doesn't feel good."

"I know."

Nicole pressed her lips to the crown of Waverly's head.

"And I was supposed to make you dinner and I haven't even started."

"That's okay, baby, we can do it together."

Waverly nodded against her throat, breathing in that smell that was so inexplicably  _ Nicole _ . They stood together in the hallway, Nicole still with her boots on and her jacket open at her front, with Waverly in her arms. They were safe. They were together. 

\---

Besides texts from Chrissy, Jeremy and Robin, Betty sent her a message on Facebook during the weekend to ask her how she was doing. It turned into a rather lengthy conversation where Waverly ended up sharing a few details about her due date and her recent food cravings (pistachio ice cream). 

She was grateful for the kindness she received after her revelation, but she was also very tired of the attention. She knew it would die down soon enough, and everyone would be talking about the next big scandal. But why couldn’t that moment be now? 

She didn’t exactly look forward to school. On Sunday evening, Wynonna was actively prepping her with in-your-face comebacks to anyone who said the word ‘pregnancy’ to her.

“You can tell them, ‘No, I just gained a lot of weight’.”

Waverly chuckled and ladled another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. As a treat, Wynonna had bought the fancy brand with actual bits of coarsely chopped pistachios in it. Waverly actually preferred the cheap one with chocolate flakes instead, but she didn’t have the heart to tell her that.

Her phone buzzed and she groaned dramatically, but it was only a snapchat from Jeremy. He was watching reruns of Doctor Who.

“Why don’t you just turn off your phone if it pisses you off?” Wynonna suggested from the other couch. 

“What if Gus calls?” Waverly asked matter-of-factly, but they both knew Waverly couldn’t care less about that. If Gus couldn’t reach her, she would just try Wynonna instead, or send a text.

The truth was, she hadn’t heard anything from Champ yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment or a kudos if you want - I love to read it all.
> 
> Find me at tumblr @zaxagra


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly has a few worries, but Nicole manages to distract her somewhat. Waverly and Gus go to meet the school guidance counselor, who happens to be an old family friend...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another late update! School and stuff is really kicking my ass, but I still want to stay on this posting schedule. Hopefully it'll get better once I'm done with my exam in two weeks. I really want to deliver on this fic, but there hasn't been that much time for editing lately. I hope you will bear with me.
> 
> Thanks as always to my fantastic beta @jorekbyrnison!

Waverly had her feet in Nicole’s lap. They were lounging on Nicole’s couch after a particularly excellent store-bought cauliflower soup that Waverly had spiced up with chopped leeks and roasted chunks of cauliflower. Nicole was slowly kneading her feet, and Waverly was utterly sated.

It had been a long week, and it was nice to be in the safety of Nicole’s apartment, far away from whispers and eager looks. Nicole kept her occupied with happy things, like pistachio ice cream and sweet lady kisses.

But now, in the heavenly post-dinner lull, Waverly’s worries returned to her mind.

She could handle the stuff at school, no problem. She could handle the attention and the nosy questions, asking clever formulations in the hope that she would reveal anything interesting, like how far along she is, or if it’s a boy or a girl, or even better: who the father is. She could handle all of it, except for one thing, and that was the person who didn’t seem interested at all. 

Waverly sighed and looked at the person who  _ did  _ care, maybe more than anyone else. But Nicole was staring intently at her empty coffee cup while her hands worked rhythmically with Waverly’s tired feet, not noticing the tumultuous concerns spiraling in Waverly’s brain. There was a crease between her eyebrows, as if she herself was in deep thought. Maybe she had worries of her own.

Waverly reached out her hand and softly grazed Nicole’s cheek. The crease disappeared immediately, instead making space for an adoring smile that she only kept for Waverly. She caught Waverly’s hand as it was retreating and brought it to her lips. The kiss was super slow and strangely intimate. Nicole held her hand to her mouth for a long time before giving it a final peck and bringing it back to her lap. She winked playfully and returned to the massage, this time with a small smile on her lips.

Waverly returned the smile, feeling that familiar fluttering in her chest once more. But her concerns returned soon enough, and now  _ she  _ was the one with the crease between her eyebrows.

A moment passed before Nicole carefully squeezed her foot to get her attention. “Hey, what’s up?”

Waverly looked up. She debated shortly if she should just shrug it all away, but it was clear that Nicole could sense her contemplation. She swallowed. “Champ hasn’t been to school since Thursday.”

Nicole’s nails predictably dug into the skin of Waverly’s ankle for a flick second before she returned to the rhythmic kneading. “Oh?” she asked, trying for sincere, but Waverly could tell how Nicole wasn’t really concerned. 

“I sent him a text and told him I kept the baby, and I haven’t seen him since.”

Nicole turned to look at Waverly now, designating her attention to what was obviously occupying her mind. “Are you worried?”

Waverly raised her shoulder slightly. “Maybe.”

Nicole kept her gaze steady until Waverly continued.

“I don’t think he’ll, you know, do anything stupid or anything. But, I don’t know…”

Waverly trailed off, shifting her eyes to her bare feet. Her toenails were freshly painted with a dark blue color that fit perfectly with the interior of Nicole’s small apartment. One could almost say it was deliberate.

“Wave…” Nicole squeezed her foot softly. “Do you want him to, uh, be a part of this?”

She looked uneasy suddenly, and Waverly was quick to respond.

“No!” she said hurriedly. She didn’t want Nicole to think she wanted Champ in the picture. “I’d rather he didn’t, actually.” As far as she was concerned, Champ could stay a good mile or so to the left of said picture. 

Nicole emptied the bottled up air in her lungs and nodded thankfully. 

Waverly smiled encouragingly, doing her best to convey that  _ Nicole  _ fit much better in that picture, but she didn’t want to say it out loud yet. It had only been two weeks, after all.

She sighed. “I just thought he should  _ know _ , you know, before I told everyone at school. So I sent him a text. But then he didn’t answer, and now I don’t know…”

“You could send him another text?” Nicole suggested reluctantly. She was clearly struggling with keeping her disgust for Waverly’s ex-boyfriend from surfacing. 

“Yeah…” Waverly wasn’t so sure that would help. 

She pictured Champ sitting on the edge of his bed, groaning loudly at the notification of Waverly’s message on his phone. 

But then Nicole started trailing her long fingers upwards, to the hem of Waverly’s jeans, and the picture quickly disappeared. Nicole teasingly scratched her short nails over the soft skin of Waverly’s calf, eliciting a delightful shiver in response. It was an obvious attempt to distract her, and it worked. Waverly could feel the goosebumps erupt in the trail of Nicole’s touch, and her breath hitched. 

Nicole cockily raised an eyebrow at the automatic reaction that escaped from Waverly’s usual self-control. Nicole was so  _ sexy  _ when she flashed her confidence, and she had been doing it a  _ lot _ lately. Waverly  _ loved  _ it.

She swallowed. “Let’s not ruin the night with Champ.”

Nicole’s smirk grew, making her dimples pop. Waverly could feel the flush creeping up her neck. 

“Come here,” she breathed and grabbed Nicole’s wrist, pulling her towards her. 

Her lips tasted amazing.

\---

The chatter surrounding Waverly seemed to die down towards the end of the week. In a strange twist of fate, her revelation had mostly resulted in kindness. Students she had never talked to had started greeting her in the hallway, Betty had asked if she wanted to sit with her and her friends at lunch three days in a row, and Kyle York offered to drive her home after school on Thursday. Waverly remembered how Kyle had purposefully ignored her after she broke up with Champ, and was thoroughly confused when he pointed her towards his ramshackled old Volvo. It seemed that people wanted in on this piece of drama, no matter their former allegiances. 

The news had, of course, not gone unnoticed by the teachers and school staff. Professor Beaufort held Waverly back after French on Wednesday and asked her how she was doing, and Headmaster Moody gave her a nod so sincere it was thoroughly out of character when they bumped into each other outside the cafeteria. She also received an email from the school’s guidance counselor, whom she had never met, calling her in for a meeting on Friday afternoon. 

That was how Waverly found herself on a plastic chair in the hallway at three thirty while the rest of the students were already on their way home with the cheerful prospect of an entire week without school. Gus had come down from Purgatory early to attend the meeting, and was sitting next to her in comfortable silence. 

Waverly was nervous. She checked the time on her wrist watch every few seconds and rapidly bumped her knee in anticipation. She had no idea what this meeting was all about, or why they needed it. She had already talked to Fish, so what was the deal with this counselor person?

The door finally opened, four minutes after the allotted time, and a lady somewhere in her late twenties stepped out. She was wearing a tight leather skirt and her fiery hair clashed dramatically with her thin red blouse. The silk followed the curve of her ample bosom to where it was tucked into the high-waist skirt and showed off her cleavage in a rather inappropriate way. 

“Are you Waverly Earp?” she asked with what could only be described as a  _ fun _ smile.

Waverly nodded as the woman stretched out her hand.

“I’m the school counselor, Mercedes Gardner.” She shook Gus’ hand too, and held open the door for them to pass. “And I think you’ve already met Ambrose Fish, the school nurse?”

Fish was already inside, sitting on one of the comfy chairs around a small table. He smiled and shook their hands as they came to sit down.

Gus was studying Mercedes with interest, as if she was trying to remember something. “Gardner…” she mumbled. “Are you from Purgatory?”

Mercedes raised her eyebrows in surprise. Not a lot of people knew about Purgatory. “I am.”

Gus nodded. “I thought you looked familiar. I think you went to school with Waverly’s sisters, is that right?”

Mercedes didn’t seem to understand.

“Wynonna,” Gus reminded. “And Willa.”

The counselor’s face lit up in sudden excitement, revealing a devilish grin that hadn’t been there before. She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it again as she seemed to remember the tragic fate of Waverly’s oldest sister. “Wynonna Earp,” she said instead. “Holy damn, I haven’t thought about her in a long time. She escaped Purgatory on the back of that sexy motorcycle of hers. Lucky bitch.”

She was talking to no one in particular, but smiling sentimentally as she went. 

Gus nodded. “I think I remember having you around the house after Wynonna came to live with us. I mean, before she left town. She didn’t have a lot of friends,” she added when Mercedes kept staring into the air a few inches above Waverly’s left ear, through an invisible window to the past.

“Yeah, I loved those Earps,” Mercedes said with nostalgic awe, completely ignoring the Earp sitting right in front of her. “I still can’t believe what happened with Willa.”

Silence fell over the room as Mercedes shook her head slowly, her mind clearly somewhere else. 

Fish eventually cleared his throat. “Speaking of Earps,” he said tentatively, nodding towards Waverly. “There’s one right here.”

“Oh, right.” Mercedes quickly sat up from her lazy position, stretching her back all professional-like.

“How are you, Waverly?” Fish asked, taking control over the situation when Mercedes didn’t.

Waverly shifted in her seat. “Uhm. I’m fine?”

Fish and Mercedes were looking at her in anticipation, clearly waiting for her to tell them how she was  _ really  _ doing, to share her high school struggles and come clean about every problem she was currently facing. But she  _ was _ fine. Her secret had come out, and it had sort of turned out alright. As good as she could have hoped for. Well, except for the lack of response from Champ. 

“You’re the school talk,” Mercedes reminded her with what was probably supposed to be a sisterly smile. She shimmied her shoulders a little and bent forward as if to share a juicy secret. “The rumor says that you’re eating for two?”

Waverly pursed her lips, already annoyed. She refused to answer the terribly ignorant question. Of course she wasn’t eating for two. That was yet another lie people told about pregnant women. 

“He’s the size of a zucchini, I don’t think that counts as me eating for two,” she said sternly. She didn’t have time for this nonsense, no matter how much of an old family friend Mercedes apparently was. “I’m sorry, what is the purpose of this meeting?”

Mercedes gave her a long look, sizing up the 18 year old girl in front of her. Then she changed her tactic. She grabbed the file that had been untouched on the table, opened the cover and clicked her pen a few times. “Waverly, you are one of our brightest students her at Ghost River High. We want to do everything we can to help.”

She nodded to her left, where Fish was sitting in silence. “I understood that you’ve already talked to Fish.” She quickly put her hands up in front of her in defence. “He hasn’t told me what about, don’t worry. But we would just like you to know that we’re here for you.”

Fish spoke up. “I think what Mercedes is trying to say is that she can help you to make special arrangements so that you can finish high school together with the rest of your class.”

Waverly scrunched up her eyebrows. “I don’t need special arrangements...” Finishing high school with her classmates had always been the plan, no matter the pregnancy.

“That’s great!” Fish said enthusiastically. “But if you’re ever tired, or you have to go to the hospital for check-ups, or you have to stay home from school because of your pregnancy, Mercedes can help you figure out solutions so that you can stay in class.”

Gus nudged Waverly’s thigh softly. “You did have some absent days around the time you found out. And you had to postpone that French test once, right?”

Waverly looked at her. It was true, but she had fixed all of that on her own. She’d talked to professor Beaufort to reschedule her test, and Chrissy and Jeremy had made sure she didn’t miss out on any homework. 

“Stuff like that is what I can help you with,” Mercedes said. “And other things. If you ever need someone to talk to, or figure out financial things, or if there’s stuff at home or with your friends, or whatever.”

Waverly studied the woman’s face. Mercedes’ make-up was on fleek and she had these long polished nails that made her cringe. She wasn’t exactly the type of person Waverly wanted to share her innermost concerns with. Fish, on the other hand, had kind and inviting eyes that glowed with sympathy and understanding. The kind of eyes Waverly would  _ maybe _ consider opening up her heart to.  _ If  _ she ever needed it. 

Mercedes very rudely interrupted her train of thought. “Have you talked to our career counselor, Mr. Meek yet, about options after graduation?” 

“Yeah. I’m doing a gap year.”

Mercedes perked her eyebrow. “Really? I thought a girl like you would have ambitions for higher education.”

“I did have  _ plans  _ for the future,” Waverly said, offended. “But this  _ thing _ happened, so the plans  _ changed _ .”

“Well, did you tell him that?” Mercedes wasn’t pushed off the wagon so easily.

If Waverly was honest, she  _ had  _ been kinda disappointed after her meeting with Mr. Meek. He had asked what she wanted to do next, and she had said ‘a gap year’, and that was that. 

“I didn’t tell him I was planning on giving birth in my gap year, no,” Waverly snarked and crossed her arms in defiance.

“What did you want to study? I mean, before all of this happened?” Mercedes asked with genuine interest. She put the tip of her pen on an empty sheet of paper, ready to note down whatever Waverly would say next.

Waverly huffed before she answered. “History, I think. Or languages. Well, maybe a combination of both.”

Mercedes immediately started scribbling.

Gus smiled at her encouragingly, so Waverly continued. “The University of Ottawa has a bachelor in Greek and Roman studies that looked kinda cool. It has ancient history and archeology, but also ancient languages which is my favorite.”

“Wow, ancient languages,” Meredes said slowly, looking up from her file. “That's like latin and shit, right?”

Waverly nodded. A nugget of pride started glowing deep inside her chest. 

Mercedes winked. “Sounds complicated.”

“We’re very proud of our angel,” said Gus with a smile that matched the statement. “My husband always used to say she was the brightest star in the universe.”

Waverly swallowed at the mention of Curtis. Mercedes kept looking at her with those glowing eyes.

“You really love academics, don’t you?” she asked.

Waverly nodded slowly.

“So what is the plan after your gap year? What are your dreams and ambitions?”

Waverly glanced at her hands in her lap, shrugging non-committedly. “I dunno…”

She used to have lots of dreams and aspirations, all accounted for on the color-coded five-year plan that was still pinned to the corkboard in her bedroom. Now she couldn’t seem to look further than the bump on her stomach.

“I know that Ghost River University have had pregnant students before,” Mercedes started. “I could ask around a bit, see if they have any options that fit you. That way you can stay right here, with your family.”

Waverly looked up. Ghost River Uni had never been an option. She wanted to move away from the confinement of everything she knew. To experience another city and meet new people. 

“The deadline has passed,” she said simply.  _ It won’t work out _ .

“I’ll find a way.” Mercedes looked like she meant every word. 

Staying in Ghost River wasn’t exactly on the top of her list, but it wasn’t as if she had any other options at the moment. 

Mercedes was talking again, saying words that Waverly was afraid to believe. “Maybe we can find a way for you to do part-time studies the first year or so, and then transition into full-time once your baby gets bigger.”

Gus turned to look at Waverly. “How about that, Waves?” she asked cautiously.

Waverly’s fingers seemed to itch all of a sudden. She looked at the people around the small table. Gus’ lips where tugged upwards in an optimistic smile. Fish grinned with absolute enthusiasm. Mercedes had raised a painted eyebrow, waiting for Waverly’s reaction.

“I think…” Waverly almost choked on her words. “I think I’d like that.”

Mercedes winked. “I’ll see what I can do.”

\---

Gus ended up jotting down Wynonna’s number on a piece of paper that Mercedes folded and tucked away in her bra. She’d been totally surprised when Gus had let slip that Wynonna was the one who was currently taking care of Waverly while she was up in Purgatory for work. Mercedes had gotten all excited before Fish poked her in the shoulder to remind her what they were here for. “Fuck off,” she had told him dismissively, because the meeting was in fact finished. 

Waverly still didn’t know what she thought about the guidance counselor. She seemed so…  _ wild  _ and immature. Especially considering the looming friendship with Wynonna. Waverly could easily picture the two of them slamming back shots of tequila and riding the mechanical bull while making slew comments about handsome fellas nearby. But Mercedes had also managed to remind Waverly of her  _ passion _ . Everything in her life seemed to revolve around her baby boy nowadays, and she had started to forget about all the other stuff.

She was lying on top of her bedspread, texting Nicole instead of packing her weekend bag for the Spring Break trip tomorrow, when Gus knocked on the door. Waverly quickly hid her enamoured grin and also her phone. Gus gave her a look that clearly asked who she was chatting with, but Waverly pretended she didn’t see it, scooching back to make room for her aunt with an innocent face. 

“All ready for your trip?” Gus asked.

“Eh,” Waverly said and looked around. There were three piles of clothes balancing on the edge of her bed and a few books on the floor next to her near-empty softshell bag. “I’m not quite finished.”

Gus winked playfully and patted her knee. “What did you think of the meeting?”

Waverly pushed herself up in a sitting position, dangling her legs off the edge of the bed next to Gus. “I don’t know… I don’t know if I  _ liked _ her, you know?”

Gus nodded. “I agree. But she said some interesting things?”

“Yeah… I’d kinda given up on studying, I think…” She glanced up at the corkboard hanging above her desk. She hadn’t taken down the five-year plan, even though it was all wrong now. It had become dusty as Waverly had ignored it these past months. The pink and yellow post-it notes almost looked dirty now, without Waverly’s constant perfections. 

“I get it,” said Gus, following Waverly’s line of sight. “Everything sort of changed, didn’t it?”

Waverly nodded sadly.

Gus used her finger to tuck a lock of Waverly’s stray hair behind her ear. “I know I’ve said this before, Waverly, but having a baby isn’t the end. You’re still gonna enjoy stuff and live your life.”

Waverly’s lip twitched, but she didn’t answer.

“Wynonna and I can babysit, you know,” Gus suggested with a wink and a smile.

Waverly looked at her. “But you’re up in Purgatory.”

Gus sighed. “For now.”

Waverly scrunched her eyebrows quizzically.

“We’re thinking about selling Shorty’s,” Gus explained.

“Oh.”

Gus drew her arm around Waverly. “But that means I’ll be here, taking care of my family instead. Like I’m supposed to.”

Waverly gave a weak smile.

“We’ll figure it out, Wave. Whatever your ambitions, we’ll find a way for you to do it.”

Waverly nodded and put her head down on Gus’ shoulder. “Thank you.”

Gus kissed the side of her head. “Now, get packin'. Dinner is almost ready.”

\---

Waverly was already regretting her decision to go on the trip as she was steering her faithful truck out of town. Chrissy was sitting next to her, fulfilling the important role of DJ, while Jeremy and Robin where in the backseat. Jeremy was snacking on something crunchy, and the sound ever time he popped another piece in his mouth was annoying the shit out of Waverly. When Chrissy's next song was the Jason Derulo cover ‘Watcha Say’ instead of the original Imogen Heap-song, Waverly almost turned the car around.

The only thing she really wanted was to curl up on Nicole's couch and start dreaming of a possible future where they both attended the same university. They could meet in the hallways and go to the library together for study sessions, and then they could eat lunch together or drink coffee while strolling through the park nearby. Nicole had been super stoked when Waverly texted her everything Mercedes had told her, but it wasn’t the same as discussing it face-to-face.

It would be days and days until next time she would see Nicole because of this stupid, useless trip. Everyone would probably be drunk within nightfall and the whole weekend would turn into a never-ending party that she couldn’t partake in.

Waverly almost honked when a car swayed into her lane dangerously close. She clutched the steering wheel tighter, making her knuckles go white. 

The drive took almost two hours, and when they arrived, some  _ idiot _ had parked diagonally, taking up two spaces so that they were forced to use the parking lot on the other side of the road. Waverly huffed again as she grabbed her heavy bag from the trunk (she'd added her Sumerian dictionary at the last minute, making her bag another two pounds heavier than it already was). 

Jake had a detailed list of the sleeping arrangements, and had put Waverly and Chrissy in a dorm together with Sonya, Betty and two other girls Waverly only vaguely remembered the names of. After one look at Waverly's angry face, Chrissy offered to take the top bunk.

They were almost finished making their beds when someone in the large cabin started clanging a cowbell like there was no tomorrow. Apparently it was Jake's way to get everyone's attention so that they would all gather in the main room. There had to be enough room for every student in their grade to sit and eat at the two long tables stretching across the far side of the room. According to the monologue Jake presented next, that was exactly the case.

He was just reading up the names of the people responsible for preparing dinner when someone caught Waverly's eye. There, at the opposite end of the room, next to Carl and his ugly down vest, was a pale-looking Champ. He had already popped the cap of a beer and was chugging it down a little too quickly.

It was gonna be a great weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for putting Champ in so many of these chapters lately. I just feel like I need to tell his part of this story as well...
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment or a kudos if you want, or come find me on tumblr @zaxagra (I haven't been really active there lately, but I'll come back stronger in a few weeks).


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spring break! Wave and Robin go for a hike and have some quality time. There's also a thrilling round of Never Have I Ever...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to my wonderful beta @jorekbyrnison, without whom this would never have been posted.

The first night of the trip turned out to be kinda fun. Sure, people were drinking and the level of noise was at a constant maximum, but it wasn’t a totally crazy party (at least not in the dining room where Waverly spent her evening). She hadn’t seen Champ since their initial encounter soon after arrival, and that suited her just fine.

Jeremy had brought a huge bag of board games. The boxes were piled high at the end of one of the two long tables and they were slowly working their way through them. It had only been the four of them - Jeremy, Waverly, Chrissy and Robin - to begin with, but other students came and went as the night grew dark. 

“You wanna try Exploding Kittens?” Jeremy asked hopefully mere seconds after Dustin put his last train in place, connecting Miami to Montreal and thereby winning a thrilling game of Ticket to Ride. “Or maybe Settlers?”

Waverly checked her watch. It was nearing midnight and she was ready for bed, but she didn’t want to be the first one to capitulate. 

Luckily Robin answered first. “I dunno, Jer, I’m kinda beat.” He stretched his arms, making the joints in his shoulders crack. “Also, I wanted to check if I could find a trail around the lake tomorrow.”

“Ooh, that sounds great!” Waverly said, remembering the magnificent view of the small lake at the foot of a snow-covered mountain just outside the resort. A lot of people had brought their skis and were planning on visiting the ski resort nearby, but Waverly had never really been comfortable with the sport. Curtis had brought the whole family to Mt. Norquay once, to teach the girls to ski, but Wynonna had left her slalom skis in the gondola in protest and Waverly had broken her pole when exiting a chair lift. They hadn’t mentioned it since. 

“Yeah, me too,” Jeremy said quickly, looking at Robin.

Waverly nudged Chrissy’s thigh and gave her a meaningful look. If she was gonna pursue this thing with Robin she better get on board. Chrissy rolled her eyes. Hiking wasn’t exactly her favorite thing to do. 

“I thought you had a crush on him?” Waverly whispered as soon as they left the table, heading to their room. There was a loud thumping coming from the living room, and they could hear the woops and laughs from the party that was no doubt in full swing. 

Chrissy sighed. “I do, but we haven’t  _ done  _ anything since the ice hockey-game last week.”

She had told Waverly all about their secret make-out session in a dark corner of the deserted corridor outside the locker rooms. Meanwhile, the Blue Devils had lost spectacularly against the title-defenders. The blue and white-team had started out the year pretty good, but were now falling rapidly in the ranks. 

“So? A hike is the perfect opportunity. I can make a distraction so that you guys can have some space.”

“I dunno…” Chrissy shrugged. 

“Chrissy, come on,” Waverly urged. They had reached their room and could hear giggles inside. 

Chrissy lowered her voice before answering. “It’s just…  _ I  _ always have to take the first step. I just want  _ him _ to kiss  _ me _ for a change.”

The door opened with a loud bang and their four roommates spilled out of the room. Waverly could see a cheap bottle of liquor on the floor, along with four plastic shot glasses. 

“Oh, heyyy,” Sonya slurred. The other girls giggled again. “We were just doing shots.”

_ No shit. _

Betty squealed excitedly and grabbed Chrissy and Waverly’s shoulders. “You guys wanna come? We’re gonna do limbo in the living room.”

Waverly gave her best tired smile. “Sounds great, but I’m gonna go to bed.”

“Pfffff, party pooper,” Sonya declared. A lump landed heavily in Waverly’s gut, and she did her best to ignore both Sonya and the uncomfortable feeling.

Waverly swallowed and turned back to Chrissy. “You wanna -?” She nodded to the deserted bedroom. They could continue their talk inside. 

But Chrissy shook her head. “Actually, I think I’m gonna go with them.”

This was a surprise. Chrissy had always followed Waverly around on parties, but maybe times were changing.

“Okay…” She nodded slowly.

_ I guess it’s gonna be me and Robin tomorrow.  _

Waverly shrugged and watched as Chrissy followed the others towards the blasting sound of music.

_ And Jeremy. _

\---

It turned out to be only Robin and Waverly setting out for a tour around the lake. Chrissy had stumbled into her bed in the middle of the night, stirring Waverly awake from her uneasy sleep, and Jeremy was nowhere to be seen at breakfast. Jake had helped them point out a trail on a printed map, and Robin had nodded understandingly at his instructions while Waverly munched down on her breakfast. 

The air was crisp when they set off down the gravel path towards the lake, but it wasn’t freezing. Nevertheless, Waverly had put on long johns underneath her hiking pants (she hadn’t been able to close the zipper over her stomach, so the garment was held up by the elastic braces). She’d tucked her woolen scarf into her red parka, and, with the hat and thick gloves as a finishing touch, she looked like a proper polar explorer.

“Wow,” she sighed as they reached the edge of the lake. It was still frozen solid, but the soft trickle of water reminded them of Spring and everything that was yet to come. The mountains encircling the lake rose with a steep, tree-covered slope only a few yards from the ice, where slippery rocks of various sizes indicated the shore. 

The thick layer of snow was quickly melting, and the path around the lake was easily spotted where many winter boots had trampled it down. It had twists and turns, in some places edging behind thick patches of bare trees, but they could follow the trail with their eyes around the entire lake. Robin indicated the path to the right, letting Waverly pass before he followed her. 

They were silent at first. The crunch of their heavy boots were only accompanied by the rustling of trees and the thin trickle of a stream nearby. 

The sounds and the sights and the pleasant cold air on Waverly’s rosy cheeks made her remember one of Curtis’ favorite poems. 

She whispered the words to herself. “Winter’s done, and April’s in the skies. Earth, look up with laughter in your eyes.” It wasn’t April yet, but it could as well be. 

“What’s that?” Robin asked behind her.

They had reached a small clearing where the trees parted, allowing them to come closer to the edge of the lake again. Waverly stopped walking and recited the words once more, louder for Robin to hear, as they looked out over the melting ice. 

“It’s longer, but I can’t remember the rest.”

Robin nodded, following Waverly’s gaze.

“My uncle used to recite the whole thing at the end of every winter,” Waverly continued. “He knew all the words.”

“Who wrote it?” Robin asked softly.

“Charles Roberts.” Mrs. Lewis’ lecture on confederate poets had reminded her of him, and she’d looked up the words again. “It’s called ‘An April Adoration’.” 

“It’s nice.”

They continued walking, Waverly now with a smile on her face and the warm memories of her uncle. 

“It’s cool that you wanted to come,” Robin said after another few minutes of silence. 

Waverly looked behind her and returned Robin’s happy face. “I love hiking,” she said simply.

He chuckled. “I actually meant, it’s cool that you came on the trip.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Are you okay? I mean, people are mostly nice, right?”

Waverly looked in front of her again, considering his question. Robin was still a  _ new _ friend, but he was quickly becoming a good one. “Yeah,” she said. “No one has said anything mean or anything.”

“That’s good, right?”

“It is,” Waverly nodded. Walking in nature had a calming effect on her. Her head was less chaotic and she felt safe to express her thoughts. It didn’t hurt that her conversation partner was walking behind her, unable to read her facial expressions. “But Champ hasn’t said anything yet.”

Robin remained silent, so she continued. 

“I don’t want him to be involved or anything, it’s just…” She sighed. “I guess I feel guilty.”

“What for?” asked Robin.

“Well, he didn’t want me to have his child, for one. But then I kinda didn’t tell him when I decided to keep it, either…”

“Yeah, but that’s  _ your _ decision, right?”

Waverly shrugged. “I guess…”

“He doesn’t have to be the dad, though?”

“No.”  _ I don’t want him to be. _ “But he still kinda is.”

“What, you mean like child support or something?”

Waverly stopped abruptly. “Shit, I haven’t thought about that.”

Robin clapped her shoulder. “You’ll figure it out, Waves. I know you will.”

They walked on.

“How does that even  _ work _ ?” she asked after a few silent seconds, more to herself than to Robin.

Robin answered regardless. “Well, my Dad pays child support for me. I think it’s regulated by income? Anyway, he sends money to my Mom every month. I don’t think he  _ has _ to do it, now that I’m eighteen, but he still does. She puts it into a savings account so that I can go to Uni next year.”

Waverly stopped again and turned around more fully now, looking at Robin’s bright face. “I didn’t know your parents are divorced.”

He smiled. “Oh, yeah. They are. Since I was four. It’s no big deal,” he rushed at the worried look on Waverly’s face. “It’s better that way. My Mom has a new family and I mostly live with them, so…”

Waverly took his hand. “Do you visit your Dad?”

“Yeah, for Christmas and Summer. He lives up in Edmonton, so it’s not far.”

Robin continued to share details from his life with a consistently optimistic tone. He told her all about the various places he had lived due to his mother’s career in the military, and how they had eventually settled down in the big city with his new step-dad and step-sisters. 

Waverly wanted to slap herself in the face. How could she not have known all of this? It was frickin’  _ Robin _ . They ate lunch together every day.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know,” she said when Robin fell silent again. 

“No worries,” smiled Robin. “You’ve had enough on your mind lately.”

“Yeah…”

Robin continued to tell Waverly everything about his plans for next year, studying Jazz History in Montréal. Jeremy wanted to move there too, Waverly remembered, to McGill University. Robin asked her in turn what her plans where, and she told him about her meeting with Mercedes, and the possibility to maybe do part-time studies at Ghost River University.

“That’s great!” he said, and then, “Do you think you’ll have time, though?”

The path was wider now, with room for them to walk side by side. Waverly snorted. She didn’t know anything about how her life was gonna be the next year. It frightened her to the extent that she would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with yet another worry on her mind. And now GRU was yet another thing to consider. 

But she was also starting to look forward to it. A tiny baby boy in her arms. A family. With Nicole.

“I dunno,” she answered when she noticed Robin’s raised eyebrow. “I really don’t know anything… But I don’t wanna give everything up, you know? I wanna try.”

Robin nodded. “I get it,” he said. “And I don’t think you have to give up  _ everything _ .”

Waverly looked at him, not quite understanding what he meant. 

Robin grinned at her. “Well, I overheard Pete York telling Sonya he wanted to ask you out.”

“Oh, ha ha,” Waverly laughed awkwardly. “He already did, sort of…”

“What? Well, what did you say?” Robin looked super excited.

“I said ‘no’, of course.”

“Whyyy?”

“Because!” Waverly shrugged. She could already feel her face warming up. “I’m kinda already seeing someone…”

Robin’s arm shot out and grabbed her elbow excitedly, making them halt. “No, shut up! Who is it?” he beamed.

“It’s, uh…” She gulped. “It’s, well. It’s a university student.”

He gasped dramatically. “How did you meet?” he asked with a low voice.

Waverly shuffled from foot to foot. Her cold cheeks felt too hot. Why did she tell Robin she was dating? “We, uh, just kinda bumped into each other. On the street.”

Robin looked at her expectantly, still with a huge grin on his face.

“And, well. Now we’re dating, I guess…” She trailed off. Better to leave the details out. “Can you, uhm, not tell anyone? ‘Cause only Chrissy knows, and, well…”

He nodded enthusiastically. “Of course! Oh, I’m so happy for you.”

Waverly couldn’t help but smile at Robin’s joy. Nicole was still a big secret, and Waverly wasn’t planning on ‘coming out’ anytime soon (there was enough attention surrounding her already), but it felt really good to share something positive about her life. 

“How about you?” she asked in a sloppy attempt to avert the subject. “I mean, are you and Chrissy..?”

Robin’s happy face faded somewhat and he refused to meet her eyes. He started walking again. Waverly quickly matched his step. 

“We, uh,” he started and rubbed his neck. “I dunno, really. Has she said anything to you?”

Waverly immediately regretted her question. “She told me that, well, you kissed,” she confessed.

Robin nodded, but didn’t answer. 

“Do you want to, you know...?” Waverly asked cautiously. 

He shrugged. After a few long seconds he opened his mouth again. “It was just kinda fun, you know?” He looked at her, pleadingly, begging her to understand. 

Waverly nodded slowly. “Robin, if you don’t want to kiss her, you should tell her.”

“I know…” he said.

The tense mood dissipated quickly when they came around the next bend, getting a perfect view of the resort at the edge of the lake, with the snow-covered Rockies in the background. Waverly excused herself to pee behind a big rock to their left while Robin kept guard, and they walked the rest of the way small talking about the upcoming exams and graduation. It turned into a great hike around the lake. 

\---

The gods had flipped their coins of destiny and Irony had come out as the miraculous winner, because later that evening, Waverly found herself to be a participant of  _ several _ rounds of drinking games. There were plenty of aspects to this that were just wrong, for example that Waverly was sipping orange juice  _ without  _ the added vodka while everyone else was clinging to their alcoholic beverage of choice, or that most of the other participants were the ones who had openly shunned her after her break-up with Champ. And yet, here she was, sitting on a pillow on the hardwood floor, squeezed in between Kyle and Chrissy.

There had, of course, been protests when Betty invited Waverly and her friends to join the game. “She can’t even drink,” Sonya had shrieked, the volume of her voice far too loud. Champ had looked the other way, but said nothing as Waverly lingered just outside the ring. 

Incredibly, Stephanie had been the deciding factor. “Oh, who cares what  _ Waverly _ drinks. She can still play.”

Waverly had been far from the only one to raise her eyebrows questionably, but Stephanie had spoken with such finality that Kyle and Rachel had immediately scooched back to make room for the new participants. Apparently, Stephanie’s love for chaos and drama was stronger than her legions with Champ. 

“Okay, who’s turn is it?” asked Rachel once they were all sitting. 

Pete was already reaching forward to grab a card from the messy deck of playing cards on the floor when Stephanie cut in. “We're playing a new game.”

“But,  _ Steph _ ,” Pete groaned, clearly stumped that his turn was meaningless. Waverly eyed the card in his still outstretched hand.  _ Six is for dicks. _

“What do you wanna play?” Betty asked with a breezy giggle at the look on Pete’s face. 

Stephanie eyed Waverly with just a little bit too much viscous joy. “Never have I ever.”

Waverly rolled her eyes.  _ Of course. _

“I’ll start,” Stephanie pronounced. She put on her thinking face, but it was evident that she had already planned out her question. “Oh, here’s one. Never have I ever considered getting an abortion.”

_ Great start. _

Stephanie looked around the ring for a second, rejoicing in the awkward glances and flickering eyes her question elicited. 

“You could have just asked, Steph,” Waverly said, her face not giving away a thing as she raised her glass in a lonesome toast. Stephanie looked like it was Christmas Eve.

But to everyone’s surprise, Rachel raised her glass too, softly nodding at Waverly with downcast eyes as she took a sip of her punch. Waverly smiled compassionately. Stephanie’s question was a most obvious poke at Waverly’s honour, but here she was, dragging down her friends with her own sinking ship. Rachel just shrugged.

Stephanie nudged Pete with her elbow. “Your turn.”

He stared at his beer long and hard before he spoke. “Never have I ever slept with someone in this ring.”

Everyone groaned. Pete always asked the same question. It was no surprise when several people toasted their drinks, Waverly included. 

Robin’s innocent “Never have I ever watched Keeping up with the Kardashians” was quickly forgotten when only Betty took a sip, and Jeremy’s “Never have I ever cheated on a test” was met with equally bored reactions. The game wasn’t fun without the sexual questions, everybody knew that.

Carl was next. He grinned stupidly as he asked “Never have I kissed a girl and liked it”.

All the boys immediately brought their drinks to their lips. They drank with proud smirks and eager lips, except Jeremy who nipped his glass with a completely blank face. Waverly briefly wondered who it was he had kissed before she noticed how she too had taken a large gulp of orange juice. 

Champ stared at her with an open mouth and Carl frowned in clear confusion. Chrissy was almost unable to contain her giggle and quickly hid her mouth behind her hand. 

“Who?” asked Pete rudely.

Waverly lowered her glass and shrugged. “That wasn’t the question,” she pointed out. 

Luckily, Betty interrupted the dumbfounded stares with her next question, “Never have I ever kissed someone  _ today _ ”. It was no surprise that Rachel and Kyle drank. According to Waverly’s knowledge, the two of them had been making out in corners at every party since New Year’s Eve. On the other hand, Chrissy and Robin’s shy sips where met with a happy “woop” from Betty and a “yeah, get it” by Carl. Apparently, the two of them had found some time alone after he and Waverly had come back from their hike. Waverly tried to find Robin's eyes, remembering his uncertainty about dating Chrissy from before, but he was staring intently at his beer, his ears burning.

Waverly’s turn was coming up soon, and she started shifting through her mind to think of something to ask when Sonya spoke up. 

“Never have I ever been Waverly’s baby daddy.”

The statement hung in the air for three tense seconds before anyone moved. 

Chrissy whispered “what the hell” accompanied by a mean glare directed at Sonya, who was looking expectantly between Champ and Waverly. Betty’s knuckles had gone white where her fingers clutched her glass. Several people refused to look at anything at all, instead wishing the awkward silence away.

Waverly held her breath as she looked across the ring. Champ’s face had gone completely pale and his hand trembled as he very slowly lowered his beer to the ground. He flinched when the can hit the hardwood floor with a metallic ‘clink’. Then he shook his head exactly three times and drew a shivering breath before he pushed himself up and strode off with a cold ‘I don’t have time for this’-laugh. 

Waverly immediately followed him, ignoring Betty’s gasp and Sonya’s evil snickering behind her.

“Champ!”

He was disappearing through the kitchen and down one of the hallways with bedrooms on either side. ‘The boys’ corridor’, Jake had called it when they arrived. 

With a short sprint she finally caught up with him. “Champ.” She grabbed his wrist to make him halt. 

“Stop touching me,” he growled with clenched teeth and tried to shake her hand off. 

She quickly withdrew it. “Sorry.”

The hallway was dimly lit and he hadn’t turned around fully, but she could see how his chest was flaring rapidly and there was something wet glistening in the crook of his eyes. 

“Are you okay?” Waverly asked quietly. She realized that the blunt feeling inside her chest was pity, but also guilt.

Champ’s hand was clenched into a trembling fist.

“Champ...” Waverly urged. She needed him to say something. To tell her it was okay to make this decision. 

He drew a sharp breath before he spoke, saying exactly the opposite. “Why did you do this?” His voice was low and full of pain.

“I had to,” she said. “I’m sorry, I- I couldn’t let go of him.” He had to understand.

Champ froze. Waverly could see how his downcast eyes were flickering around, not really settling on anything in particular. He was clearly processing the fact that Waverly’s baby -  _ his _ baby - was a boy.

“But why-” he croaked. He cleared his throat before finally gathering the courage to look her in the eyes. His own were filled with despair. “ _ Everyone knows. _ ”

She nodded. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Why did you tell everyone?” he insisted.

“I couldn’t just- I mean-” She took an uneasy step backwards. “I  _ had  _ to. They would know anyway. I mean, look at me.” She gestured to herself. 

After long consideration, Waverly had left her sweater in her room tonight. Instead, she was wearing a simple ribbed tank top, cream-coloured with tiny birds. Her growing stomach were evident through the thin fabric. Several people had cast curious looks at her belly as she had sat down in the dining room, but it was just too hot to cover it up. 

Champ raked his eyes up her body like he had done so many times before. This time there was only disgust. “Couldn’t you at least, I dunno... Hide it or something?” he snarled.

She crossed her arms defiantly. “It’s a million degrees in here. I’m not gonna put on a sweater just because  _ you _ feel intimidated.”

He sniffed shortly, but accepted her stance. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you before, you know…” She trailed off, searching her brain for what it really was she wanted to tell him. “But you don’t have to be a part of this. I mean, if you don’t want to.”

“Of course I don’t want to,” he whispered loudly. “I never wanted any of this.”

Waverly could feel herself getting angry again. Champ was acting like it was all her fault, but it  _ wasn’t _ . She wanted to scream at him and shake him and tell him that he was to blame too, but then she remembered how she didn’t want him to be a dad for her son. Screaming probably wouldn't help. 

She raked her fingers through her loose hair and took a deep breath to calm herself down. 

“You’re just as much to blame for this as I am,” she finally said through clenched teeth. “But I have no expectations from you. To be a father or whatever.” She gestured vaguely in the air between them. “You’re off the hook.”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

The conversation was finished. 

Waverly was already preparing herself to go back to the group, but Champ was lingering. He looked like there was something left unsaid, the way he was nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“What?” Waverly bit at him, clearly annoyed. Why couldn’t he just grow some balls?

Champ shook his head, but decided to speak anyhow. “Everyone knows it’s mine.”

Waverly sighed. She didn’t like it either. Their relationship and their sloppy contraception would probably haunt her forever, but there was nothing they could do about that fact. “So? You’re not the one who has to carry this thing around.” 

She pointed at her stomach, but Champ ignored it.

“ _ So _ , can’t you just say it’s someone else’s?” he suggested, like the dick he was. He looked at her as if it was obvious.

She huffed, thoroughly offended. “You want me to tell everyone how I slept with someone else, just to keep your dignity?”

He nodded hopefully.

“You’re a shithole, Champ.”

Waverly promptly turned around and left. She refused to speak to him anymore. 

“Wait.” Champ rushed to keep up with her. 

She stopped walking, but didn’t look at him.

“Are you gonna make me pay, like, baby money?”

The fumes were coming out of her ears as she slowly turned. After her talk with Robin, Waverly had decided that she wouldn’t ask that of Champ because it had been  _ her _ decision to become a parent. But with all the selfish things he had just said, it was the least he could do.

“You know what? I might as well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and welcome to the end of this fine chapter! What a dick, right? At least Robin is a good friend.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment or find me on tumblr @zaxagra if you're so inclined!


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly is seething after her conversation with Champ, but soldiers on. Wynonna reveals a secret when Waverly comes home from the trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! 
> 
> Quick update on my life: I had my exam yesterday (it went well) and haven't really had a lot of time to write these last few weeks. Luckily, I had written up to this chapter so the chapters only needed a quick edit before posting. But now I've caught up with my writing, so chapter 31 remains unwritten. I promise I'll get it ready for posting next week, and I really really want to try and keep up the weekly schedule that I've set up for myself, but January will be really busy again, so I have to write A LOT over Christmas if I'm gonna be able to keep up the schedule, so please bear with me... I might have to take a few weeks break in January if I can't manage it. I hope you'll stay patient! I've got most of the fic planned out, so I "only" need to actually write it, and I promise I will! But yeah, I'll let you know if I need to take a break...
> 
> As always, a big thank you to my beta @jorekbyrnison. I cannot express enough how much I needed your help with this particular chapter (it went through several drafts), and I really really appreciate your patience and brilliant mind. Love you, man!

Waverly refused to let fucking  _ Champ _ ruin her weekend. She’d been nervously looking forward to the trip this entire week, and it  _ had  _ been pretty good until now. This stupid round of ‘Never Have I Ever’ would  _ not _ be the end of it.

Waverly stomped off to her bunk and facetimed Wynonna, her number one supporter in all things Champ, to let off some steam. Her sister historically didn’t give the best advice, but her rants were beyond legendary, and that was exactly what Waverly needed right now.

But when she answered the phone, Wynonna was annoyingly sneaky about what she was doing. Her eyes were flickering around rather suspiciously, looking at things Waverly couldn’t see, and Waverly felt she didn’t get the attention she deserved in this time of crisis. After a few seconds she took a deep breath, and dropped her announcement like a bomb.

“Champ wants me to tell everyone I slept with someone else to let him off the hook.”

The effect was immediate. Wynonna’s eyes stilled and grew into huge balls of horror and disbelief. Her ears nearly started steaming as she went into rage mode. Waverly quickly recapped her evening and Wynonna spent the next few minutes grumbling rude curse words. Betty waltzed into the room at one point, probably searching for more booze, but quickly disappeared again after one look at Waverly’s face. 

“You can’t let him win, baby girl,” said Wynonna. “You gotta get out there and face the music. And, you know, knock him in the nuts.”

Waverly huffed loudly with despair. The last thing she wanted was to go out there again. But Wynonna was right. She had to show them all what she was made of. And Waverly Earp was made of fucking  _ steel _ . 

She nodded. “I’ll show them.”

Waverly clamped her teeth tight and pushed herself off the bed. Then she went to the bathroom to one) pee, and two) fix her face and make-up. And then she marched right back to the party.

The group she had left half an hour ago had dissolved, and the players where now scattered throughout the huge cabin. Rachel and Kyle were making out in the kitchen, next to a large bowl of orange punch that was definitely spiked. Outside on the porch, Sonya was hanging over the banister, puking her guts out, while an annoyed Stephanie was stroking her back. Pete was refereeing a game of beer pong in one end of the dining room, and Champ and Carl were funneling beer in the other corner, cheered on by a group of their fellow classmates. Champ seemed totally unaffected by what had just happened as he wiped his mouth with a proud grin. 

Chrissy was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Robin, but Jeremy was sitting in a corner, playing chess by himself. Waverly went to sit next to him. 

“Hey, Jer,” she said, trying to sound cheerful.

He turned around, clearly surprised to see her back at the party. “Oh, hey! Waverly!”

“Where’s Chrissy and Robin?” she asked, peering out through the room, and thus missing the way Jeremy’s face abruptly fell to pieces at her question.

He shrugged. “I dunno. Haven’t seen them.”

Waverly nodded absentmindedly, her gaze now fixed on Rachel and Kyle who peeked out from the kitchen before sneaking off towards the boys’ dormitories. They did their best to be both quick and quiet as they stumbled off, holding hands and giggling stupidly. 

“You okay?” asked Jeremy, his eyes following the same path as Waverly’s. 

Waverly didn’t answer immediately. She didn’t know if she was okay. She was definitely not feeling  _ great _ , but somehow, she realized, her talk with Champ had been liberating. He had fully distanced himself from Waverly and her baby now, and she wouldn’t have to worry about him wanting to play the role of ‘dad’ in this whole situation. Waverly couldn’t remember having worried a lot about this, but it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders nevertheless. Her rant with Wynonna afterwards had been good, too. 

“Yes,” she said eventually, with a resolute nod.

Jeremy fidgeted quietly with a pawn. “Uh, what, uh,” he started nervously. “What did he, uh. What happened?” He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. 

“He asked me to tell everyone he isn’t the father.” Waverly was still staring right ahead. It was easier to talk that way.

Jeremy looked at her for a second, clearly amazed at Champ’s nerve, and cleared his throat. “But, he  _ is _ , right?”

She swallowed, her eyes now finding the boy in question. He was laughing loudly at Carl, who had clearly overestimated his ability to chug beer from the two foot long bong. “ _ Theoretically _ .”

“Okaaayyy.” Jeremy drew out the word, trying to interpret Waverly’s answer. “Sooo, that means he won’t have anything to do with, uh, your, uh…” He trailed off.

Waverly finally turned to look at Jeremy, who was looking all kinds of uncertain. “He’s not gonna  _ be _ the father, no. Of course not. He’s a dick.”

Jeremy nodded slowly. “But what are you gonna tell people, then?”

Waverly looked at him long and hard, until Jeremy ducked his head to evade her eyes. She blinked. “I don’t know.” 

She didn’t  _ want _ him to be the father, and, if she was completely honest with herself, she didn’t want people to  _ know _ he was the father, so where did that leave her? 

“You can say that he’s just the donor,” Jeremy suggested with a shrug. 

Waverly snorted. “What, like I wanted all of this?”

Jeremy shrugged with a skewed smile. “You kinda do want it now, though?”

She smiled. “I do.”

He nodded, and went back to fumbling with the pawn. Waverly disappeared back into her thoughts. 

The silence apparently bothered Jeremy, because it didn’t take long before he started to fill it.

“Here comes Sonya, who has just spent time in the booth for radical over-consumption,” he said in a fake sports commentator voice as a shaky Sonya and a grumpy Stephanie came in through the door. “She is still slightly green, but that won’t stop her from re-entering the game.”

The two girls headed for the beer kegs, where the beer bong was doing its round through the masses. Champ gave Sonya the cold shoulder when she tried to enter the line, but Stephanie put on her most flirtatious smile and squeezed herself to the front, where Carl was holding the funnel. 

Jeremy continued to comment as the scene unfolded, and Waverly soon erupted in a fit of giggles. 

“I think this qualifies for last place,” he said when beer splashed all over Stephanie’s white blouse, making it see-through. “What do you think, miss Earp?”

“I think you are right, mister Chetri,” laughed Waverly.

“Oh, and here comes another player, Betty. No wait, she’s moving away from the crowd. Oh, shit, she’s coming here.”

“Hey, guys,” Betty called cheerfully. “Jer, you wanna try?” She pointed behind her, to the scene he had just commented on.

“Uh, no, thank you,” said Jeremy and cast his eyes down to his feet. 

“Too bad.” Betty sat down next to Waverly. “Waverly, I’m so sorry for what happened with Sonya. It was a really mean thing to say.”

Waverly put on a fake smile. “It’s alright,” she said. She was done talking about it. 

But Betty didn’t stop. “Are you okay?”

Waverly nodded. “Yep. I’m fine.”

“I mean, Champ got really angry.” Betty looked around, as if she was trying to see if anyone was listening in. Then she leaned closer with a dramatic look on her face. “It’s him, right?  _ He _ ’s the father?” She was whispering now. “‘Cause I heard him tell Kyle earlier that it wasn’t him.”

“It’s him, Betty,” Waverly said, annoyed. 

“Yeah, but it doesn’t look like  _ he _ thinks that.”

“He’s full of shit. Of course it’s him.”

“Yeah, but -”

Waverly was eternally grateful when Jake interrupted Betty’s interrogation. “Hey, Earp, you wanna play?” He held up a ping pong ball and nodded towards the table where Pete was waiting. “You can be on my team.”

“Yeah, sure,” said Waverly. She quickly got up, escaping Betty’s clasp. 

“You too, Jeremy?” Jake asked. “Betty?”

“I think I’m gonna, uh, go to bed,” answered Jeremy.

But Betty said “Yes!”

Jeremy went off, and the girls followed Jake to the beer pong table. 

Pete was really good. He kept throwing the ball in a perfect arc, hitting one cup after the other, and thereby forcing Jake to drink again and again. Jake refused to hear any of Waverly’s apologies, dutifully emptying every cup like a trooper. Thankfully, Betty sucked balls, while Jake and Waverly were both decent, making the teams almost equal. After Pete scored his last point with a practised trick shot, bouncing the ball to the wall before it hit the edge of the cup and rapidly spiraled down into the lukewarm beer, the four of them sat down in the seating area. 

Waverly was tired but  _ very  _ adamant to prove to Champ that she would not be beaten. People kept joining their little group, and soon enough, everyone who was still awake sat on one of the four couches, or on pillows on the floor. Champ was the last person to fling himself haphazardly on the floor, leaning his drunken head against the side of the couch furthest away from Waverly. She took it as a personal victory that he had been forced to come to  _ her _ , because that was where everyone else was. 

It almost felt like old times. Everyone was there, talking and laughing and just hanging out, and she was right there in the center of it. Waverly hadn’t realized how much she missed people actually looking at her and smiling, instead of averting their eyes as soon as she met their gaze. It felt good to be a part of the group again, and respected. 

As the night grew on, Waverly was getting more and more tired, and very hungry. There was only one banana left in her bag, and she had wanted to save it for the morning, but she could feel her stomach starting to rumble quietly, unnoticed by the others because of the constant buzz of voices and laughs. Maybe the banana would have to be sacrificed sooner than planned. 

When Betty started snoring quietly against Pete’s shoulder, Waverly volunteered to bring her to bed - they were sharing a room, after all. With Pete’s help she managed to maneuver the sleeping girl to the correct bedroom, where Sonya was already lying knocked out and half naked on one of the beds. Chrissy wasn’t there. 

Pete was lingering in the doorway when Waverly got up from tucking the blanket around Betty. 

“Thanks, Pete,” she said, wishing for him to go away. Here banana was calling. 

“Yeah, no problem.”

He didn’t leave. Instead, he stood there, eyes glued on Waverly and a foolish smile on his face. 

“Uh, I think I’m gonna go sleep too.” Waverly gestured towards her own bed. “I’m kinda tired…”

She wished with her entire being that he wouldn’t ask her again what she thought he would, but…

He cleared his throat. “Hey, so I’ve been thinking. Last time, when I wanted to ask you out…”

“Pete...” 

He continued. “Last time, I didn’t know you were, well,  _ expecting _ .”

Waverly pursed her lips together, waiting for him to finish. 

“But now I do.” He met her eyes daringly. “And I just wanted to let you know that -”

“Pete, let me stop you -”

“No, wait.” He took a step forward and reached for her hands. They were big and clammy, and nothing like Nicole’s long and slender fingers. “I don’t care, Waverly. And I don’t care that it’s Champ’s. Or whoever it is.”

Waverly pulled her hands out of his grasp and tucked them behind her back. “I’m sorry, Pete. It’s just…” She sighed, briefly considering if she should tell him about Nicole just to get him off her back. “I don’t wanna date anyone right now. There’s just so much going on, and… Well...”

She looked apologetically at him, but he just nodded. 

“Maybe later.” 

“Yeah, maybe…” Waverly knew it would never happen, but who was she to destroy his hopes.

He let his hands fall down to his sides. “Well, then. I’m gonna...” He gestured vaguely and started walking back towards the door, defeated, but still smiling bravely. “Night, Wave.”

She sighed and said “Goodnight” just as he closed the door behind him.

As soon as he was gone, Waverly changed into her sleeping shirt and grabbed her banana.  _ Finally. _

Poor Pete. He’d probably had a crush on her for a long time, just waiting for her and Champ to break up, and he never got the chance to prove himself to her. Bless him, though. Not every high schooler would want to start dating a pregnant chick...

She munched down on her fruit while contemplating the night she’d had. She’d almost let Champ defeat her. She’d been  _ so _ close to just giving up on this whole trip and going to bed after their fight, but she’d braved on, eventually coming out the other end a winner. 

1-0 to Waverly. 

\---

Waverly felt terrible when she woke up. Two nights in a row with minimal sleep and a very eventful evening, and she didn’t even have her breakfast banana. She terribly regretted eating it before she fell asleep yesterday. The only thing she wanted was to get home as soon as possible. 

She pulled herself out of bed and rallied her friends together, preparing for a quick departure. 

Chrissy was snoring up a storm in Robin’s bed, with an annoyed and fully awake Jeremy in the top bunk. She was still wearing yesterday’s clothes, and her t-shirt had ridden up to reveal her skewed bra. Robin himself was mushed entirely against the cold wall, but he had somehow managed to sleep in this position. 

Even with the uncertainties Robin had shared yesterday regarding Chrissy, all the evidence pointed towards the two of them spending the entire evening making out in his bed. Jeremy must have been thrilled when he got in. 

A few shakes and groans later and the four of them were packing their bags into Waverly’s truck, and they were off. Jeremy sat in the front seat, eyes wide and staring in a sleep-deprived fashion, while the other two were sleeping in the back. 

They were silent for most of the way. Waverly felt hollow and queasy and kept thinking about her banana. Then the whole conversation with Champ returned to her mind, and she went spiralling down an entirely different path, not noticing Jeremy’s strange silence or the gorgeous snow-covered mountains they passed. 

When they reached the district border, Waverly knew there were only thirty minutes to go before she could stretch out her aching legs on the couch and call for Wynonna to bring her a snack.

She looked in the rearview mirror, seeing the heads of the two sleeping idiots in the back lolling with the motion of her truck. Then she glanced sideways, at Jeremy, who had been frozen in his seat the entire ride.

“You okay?” Waverly asked, directing the question to the only other person in the car who wasn't currently drooling over his shirt. 

Jeremy didn’t answer right away. Instead, a weird choke erupted from somewhere deep in his throat. He swallowed forcibly. “Yep. Only couldn’t sleep.”

Waverly chanced a longer look at the passenger seat. His face was grey and his eyes glassy. He’d been acting…  _ strange  _ this weekend. Pouting and isolating himself from the rest of the group. It didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it now, and Waverly honestly didn’t feel fit to handle a difficult conversation in this state, so she simply nodded and decided to let him be. She’d deal with him later.

The streets where almost deserted when Waverly carefully steered her trusted truck to her friends’ houses. Robin’s mother thanked Waverly thoroughly for driving her son and invited them in for tea, but they shook their heads in unison. They were all tired and very ready to get back to their respective homes. 

Jeremy waved goodbye from his front door, still in that weird subdued state, and Waverly wondered again what was on his mind. 

Chrissy immediately climbed into the front seat as soon as they were a lone, a huge grin plastered on her tired face. She no doubt wanted to share the tales of last night’s adventures with Robin, but Waverly purposefully ignored her. Her stomach was churning uncomfortably, and she couldn’t wait to have some peace and quiet. So she just smiled and told Chrissy goodbye and “See you later”.

The final drive from Chrissy’s house to her own took only a minute. When she finally put the car in park, Waverly let her head fall back against the headrest with a deep sigh. She took a moment to breathe in the solitary calmness of her truck before opening the door and stepping out on the driveway. 

As soon as Waverly’s foot touched the bottom step of the porch stairs, however, Wynonna came crashing through the front door. “Wave! You’re home!” she exclaimed with a huge grin.

Waverly, who was still standing with one foot on the gravel and one foot on the porch, answered “Yeah?”. She was tired. She just wanted to go and lie down on the couch with a sandwich and an episode of Derry Girls. Wynonna’s usual shenanigans did  _ not  _ fit into those plans.

“Come  _ on _ !” Wynonna grabbed her hand and pulled her up the stairs and inside. She looked thoroughly excited. 

Waverly only managed to kick off her shoes and chuck her bag in the corner before Wynonna tugged her hand again, leading them up the stairs to the second floor. 

“Wynonna, what is going on?” Waverly grumbled. Her hip hit the banister painfully at the top of the stairs.

“You’ll see, come on.”

Wynonna marched the two of them right past the girls’ bedrooms on opposite sides of the upstairs hallway, past the linen closet and past the small bathroom. That only left Gus’ cluttered office. 

They came to a still in front of the door. Wynonna almost squealed in excitement when she finally let go of her firm grasp on Waverly’s hand. 

“Okay, ready?” she said as she reached for the door handle. 

Waverly quirked an eyebrow. Ready for  _ what _ ?

With one fluent movement, Wynonna pushed the door open and revealed… a nearly empty room with a smiling Gus standing in the middle of the floor. The room used to have a desk and shelves and large piles of books and papers on every surface, and now there was… nothing. Had it always been this light? Waverly noticed how the walls where a dirty white and the window big and friendly without the heavy brown curtains on either side of it. 

She had never seen the room like this before. 

Waverly took a step inside. The only thing left from the original interior was a bookcase, but even that was empty save for one single book. She recognized the cover immediately. It was the battered old collection of nursery rhymes that Waverly’s mother had read to her when she was little. Later, when Mama had left and Daddy was drinking every night, Wynonna had sometimes flipped the pages until she found Waverly’s favorite rhyme,  _ Humpty Dumpty _ , and read it in a hushed voice underneath the thick duvet, with only a flashlight for light. 

Waverly went and picked it up, cradling it tenderly before she turned around. “What is all this?” she asked.

Gus gestured around the room. “This will be -”

“It’s the nursery!” Wynonna practically shouted, too excited to wait any longer.

Waverly looked at the two of them and then at the naked room. “The nursery? But -” She looked at her aunt.

Gus smiled at her. “I don’t need my office anymore. It had mostly become a storage place anyway. So, your sister and I cleaned out the room while you were gone, and now it’s yours.” She took a step forward and reached out her hand to squeeze Waverly’s shoulder. “What do you think?”

Waverly blinked. She was utterly lost for words. 

Wynonna was grinning proudly at her sister. “We’ll get paint and shit tomorrow,” she said. “And all the baby stuff.”

Waverly glanced at the book in her hands,  _ Nursery Rhymes for Young and Old _ , and then she looked around the room. She could picture filling up the bookcase with other books as well, bedtime stories and magical fairytales and colorful picture books. The changing table would fit perfectly in the corner, next to a bin for diapers. There could be a crib beside it with one of those dangly things above it, and a dresser filled with onesies and tiny baby socks. Maybe they could have a rocking chair underneath the window, where Waverly could sit in the evenings, singing soft tunes while nursing her baby. 

Waverly returned to the present when Wynonna carefully wrapped her arms around her, resting her head against Waverly’s. 

Her insides were a wreckage of turmoils and emotions. There was the fatigue from the tiresome weekend, the anger that still remained after her confrontation with Champ, the guilt from rejecting Pete, the growing hunger that had evolved into something that resembled her former morning sickness, a throbbing headache behind her left eye, and finally  _ the nursery _ .

“What do you think?” Wynonna whispered.

Waverly took a trembling breath. She tried to blink away the tears forming in her eyes, but there were too many. She wanted to speak. To say something about how beautiful it was, or how grateful she was for her aunt and her sister, and how  _ loved _ she felt. But the only thing that came out was a choke, and the next thing she knew, her knees gave way. Waverly sagged down, thankfully protected by Gus and Wynonna’s strong hands. They carefully lowered her to the floor, a shivering mess succumbed to emotion, and cradled her in their arms. 

Waverly heaved and cried and sobbed, and Gus’ shoulder was wet with tears and snot, but they held her tightly and stroked her hair and squeezed her arm, and after a while Waverly managed to produce a coherent sentence. 

“It perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! What do you think Waverly should do? I'm tempted to just let people believe that Champ isn't the father, to cut him clean out of their lives, but Waverly would never throw her own reputation under the bus and let people think that she was sleeping around. 
> 
> Also, what's up with Jeremy? Poor guy. And how about that nursery! Wynonna and Gus are just the best <3
> 
> Leave a comment if you want, or a lovely kudos! I appreciate all of your feedback very much :)  
> I'm also on tumblr @zaxagra


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A deep dive into Nicole's thoughts as she waits for Waverly to call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rather short chapter, which I blame on post-exam fatigue and the Holidays. It has also not been beta-read because it was all very last-minute. 
> 
> Hope you're all having a great time these days! And if Christmas dinners and family meetings kinda suck, at least you've got this (tiny) chapter to pass the time.

Nicole stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a big fluffy towel. She dried off quickly next to the pile of sweaty clothes she had discarded on the bathroom floor. She had just completed her run, and her body felt spent in the most glorious way. 

She had been a jittering mess of feelings and desires ever since Waverly had ambushed her and kissed her senseless. That was two weeks ago now, and her chest was still fluttering constantly. She spent almost every second processing everything that was Waverly Earp, to the point where studying to her upcoming exams had been a real challenge. 

Running had been the only way to deal with all of that excess energy, and she’d somehow wound up having a quite regular training regimen - something she hadn’t had since the height of her basketball days. With Waverly gone on her trip, Nicole had gone for a jog every day. 

But today, Waverly was back. 

Today, Nicole was gonna see her again. She would get to kiss her again, and hold her tight, and listen to her talk, and see her smile. She would get to smell her hair again (she wasn’t a creep, honestly, but Waverly’s hair smelled of wildflowers and it was the most wonderful thing she could think of). 

Nicole glanced at herself in the mirror. The happiness on her face was easy to detect, her uncontrollable smile ever-present since that day Waverly had stormed into her apartment and knocked her down on the couch. Her grin grew at the pleasant memory, making her dimples appear. 

She couldn’t wait to see Waverly again.

Nicole sighed and raked her fingers through her long hair. It was falling down her shoulders in thick, jumbling tresses. She’d been thinking of cutting it lately. It had always been long, flowing far past her shoulders, and she’d worn it in a braid nearly every day for as long as she could remember. She wanted it out of her face, and her mother had liked it long, so the braids were a sort of compromise. Maybe it was time for something new. Waverly had only seen her with loose hair a handful of times, but it had always put a devious smile on her face, which in turn made Nicole’s fingertips ache and her skin heat up in a flustering frenzy. 

She was abruptly pulled out of her ponderings when her phone rang, buzzing loudly against the porcelain of the sink cabinet. Her heart leapt immediately, and her hand was already grabbing for it. 

It was her mother. 

She didn’t answer. Instead, she let it ring until the intrusive buzzing fell silent. A short buzz a second later notified her of the voicemail her mother had left. 

Jackie had called almost every day this last week, sometimes multiple times a day, but Nicole had ignored the call every time. She had also deleted every email from any of her mother’s email addresses. It was probably about that internship she had fixed for Nicole, at  _ Haught & Sons _ . Nicole didn’t want it. She had no plans to go back to Toronto this summer, to get coffee and bagels and dry cleaning for douche lawyers, or do their boring paperwork. She’d rather stay here, with Waverly and Wynonna and her apartment and her freedom. 

She swiped her finger to remove the notification on her phone, and simultaneously pushed down the dreadful jumble of knots that had materialized in her gut.

Nicole shook her hair out of her face. Waverly would probably call her soon and tell her to come over. Time to get dressed. 

Nicole stepped out into the living room, still stark naked, and quickly sprung through the kitchen and to her bedroom. Prancing around the apartment with no clothes on wasn’t something she did often, mostly because of the tired thirty-something man who lived in the building across the street from her. He wasn’t gross or anything, usually he gave her a short nod when they caught each other's eyes (which wasn’t often), but there had been a situation where Nicole had walked naked out of the bathroom while brushing her teeth, deep in thought, and she had gone to stand over by the window, looking out into the dark night like some kind of idiot. It was pitch black outside, but  _ in _ side? Well, let’s just say the lighting was good enough for her friendly neighbour to catch a thorough glance at her boobs. 

They had gone back to the friendly nod ever since, and Nicole had learned to either close the curtains before showering, or sprint from the bathroom to her bedroom whenever she had forgotten to bring fresh clothes with her. 

“What to wear, what to wear,” she muttered quietly when she opened the closet doors and peered at the neat piles of clothes and hangers of freshly ironed shirts.

Suddenly she remembered that her phone was still on the bathroom sink, and she was still waiting for a very important call from Waverly, announcing her return home from Spring Break. 

Nicole quickly threw on some underwear and a crisp white t-shirt, and sprung back to get her phone. Waverly hadn’t called yet. 

Nicole was fully aware that it was time for her to tell Waverly about Shae. She had wanted to come clean before they did anything romantic, but Waverly hadn’t really given her the chance. Who was she to stop Waverly from kissing her and say “well, actually, I’ve got some rather big news”?

Her speech about Shae had been ready for almost a month. She had wanted to present an accurate, but neutral, retelling of her short-lived marriage on their ‘date night’ three weeks ago, but then it had all gone south when Wynonna interrupted their dinner and Waverly had blamed her feelings on an excess of estrogen. And then, when they had finally kissed, Nicole had promised herself to come clean the very next day, but then Waverly had gotten dizzy from their make-out, and they had ordered Chinese, and Nicole had chickened out. 

Now, after two weeks of sweet kisses and gentle touches, the bomb would have to go off, and  _ soon _ , or Nicole herself might explode out of pure guilt.  

Of course, in Nicole’s mind, it wasn’t really big news. She knew the meaning of her marriage, which was close to nothing. The simple gold wedding band that was buried at the very back of her sock drawer wasn’t important. It was old facts,  _ boring  _ facts, and that’s what she would treat it as. 

But she was afraid that Waverly wouldn’t. Waverly had gracefully accepted how Shae was still Nicole’s closest friend, even if they were ex-girlfriends. Waverly couldn’t  _ not _ accept it, Nicole figured, but still. 

Being married to Shae wouldn’t be that hard to swallow, right?

Nicole sighed and plopped down on the edge of her bed. Who was she kidding? Waverly would be super mad. 

“The longer you wait, the worse it gets,” Nicole reminded herself with a growl. “Better to get it over with.”

But maybe, if she waited long enough, Waverly would be so  _ in love  _ with her that there was no way back. She would just have to accept it and they could move on. 

Nicole clamped her teeth together, angry at herself for even thinking those thoughts. It wasn’t fair to Waverly. Nicole’s marriage didn’t mean anything  _ now _ , but it  _ had  _ meant something  _ then _ . Waverly should know. Because it was important. It was part of her life.

Nicole nodded shortly to herself, resolute on finally sticking to her plan. She picked out her favorite pair of jeans and a simple light grey flannel to wear over her t-shirt. She carefully folded the sleeves up to her elbows and padded out to the kitchen to prepare a fresh cup of coffee. 

She had looked into getting a divorce these last few days, between constantly checking her phone and blank stares at her Statistics book. Not that a formal separation would make it all go away, but at least the blow would be a bit softer. 

Her research had reminded her why they had decided to just stay married to begin with. Getting divorced was expensive. It wasn’t just ‘sign a paper’ and that would be it. There was a whole process they had to go through, with lawyers and forms and everything. And even though Shae and Nicole would both agree upon the divorce and they didn’t have anything to divide between them financially, the whole thing would still be at least 1750 dollars. 

Nicole took a sip but regretted it immediately when she burnt her tongue. 

She couldn’t afford getting divorced, and neither could Shae at the moment. It was unfair to ask that of her.

_ Why does it cost fifty bucks to get married and a small fortune to make it all go away again? _

Stupid universe. 

Her phone buzzed again in her pocket. This time it was Waverly. 

Nicole’s lips curled into a renewed smile as she pressed the green button. “Hey, Waves,” she greeted happily. “You home again?”

“Yeah,” Waverly sounded excited. “You wanna come over? Gus is making tacos.”

“I don’t wanna intrude or anything,” Nicole started. She didn’t want to impose on Waverly’s family dinner. 

“No, Gus said it was okay,” Waverly said quickly. “And, uh, I’ve got something to show you…”

This irked Nicole’s curiosity. “What is it?”

“You’ll see...” She could almost hear Waverly’s smile through the phone.

Nicole grinned and put her untouched coffee back on the kitchen counter. “I’ll be right there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment or a kudos if you want. I'll be hanging out on tumblr @zaxagra if you ever wanna talk!


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly, Wynonna, Gus and Nicole work on the nursery. Finally some fluffy Wayhaught content for you to start of the new year! And Waverly has a chat with Gus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 2020, everyone! Hope you all had a nice celebration. For the new year I wanna keep updating this fic once a week until it's finished (we'll see how many weeks I need to do that, this fic just keeps on getting longer), and maybe try my hand at some other AU's (we'll see). 
> 
> Btw, my fic hit 100,000 words last week, and I'm so proud! Thank you so much to everyone who keeps cheering me on with lovely comments and kudos - they really do help a lot. I also couldn't be more grateful for my beta and friend, @jorekbyrnison, who's always there when I need her. I promise you this fic wouldn't have been here without her. Love you!

Waverly, Wynonna and Gus went to buy paint on Tuesday morning. Waverly had originally imagined the room to be a pastel yellow color, but she’d read an article about  _ Nursery Colors and Psychology _ saying that babies cry more in yellow rooms. With the help of a very nice man at the paint shop, they had found an inviting shade of earthy green instead, called  _ Light Sage _ , with a buttery  _ Crème Brûlée _ for the windowsill and the doorframe. 

Wynonna complained the entire ride home about the boring hour they had spent at the paint shop, but Waverly couldn’t have been happier with the result. As soon as they got home, she dragged the cans of paint upstairs and started coating the walls with primer. Wynonna was more than happy to go to work just a bit earlier than usual, and Gus was stuck on the phone with Shorty, leaving Waverly alone with the job. 

Nicole came over as soon as her class about social control theory had ended. After firstly telling Waverly off for opting to paint the room herself (“What about the fumes?”), she grabbed the paint roller and got to work. Waverly got the desk chair from her bedroom and situated herself just outside the nursery, peering in through the door to watch Nicole work. It was quite the sight. 

Nicole had stripped off her sweater and was working in a well-fitting tank top that was tucked neatly into her jeans. She’d taken off her socks too, walking barefoot on the plastic cover Waverly had laid out on the floor, with the cuffs of her pants rolled up to the middle of her calves. Waverly could only  _ just  _ concentrate on Nicole’s retelling of Hirschi’s self-control theory of crime. 

“I really like the professor,” Nicole said, loud enough for Waverly to hear out in the hallway. “I think I wanna do  _ Social Psychology _ next semester, ‘cause she’s gonna be the teacher.” 

“Uh-huh,” Waverly nodded, her eyes on Nicole’s arm, studying the methodical flexing of her tricep as she rolled the roller up and down the wall.

Nicole stopped her actions and turned to smile at Waverly. “Wave?”

Waverly quickly perked up from her slouched position. “Hm?”

“I think I wanna change my BA to Criminology.”

Waverly raised her eyebrows. “That’s great! You’re taking  _ Intro to Criminology _ now, right?”

Nicole nodded. There was paint dripping on the plastic cover from her roller, but she didn’t notice it. “Yeah. You know Dolls is my TA?”

“Really? He’s so quiet and…” Waverly shrugged. “I dunno. Kinda intimidating, don’t you think?”

Nicole smiled. “Yeah, I know what you mean. But he told me I really had a knack for it after my last assignment.”

She was practically glowing. Waverly realized that she had never really seen Nicole be  _ happy _ about her education. She went to lectures every day and finished all of her papers and assignments within the deadline (although usually at the very last second), but she had never really been invested in it. Waverly knew the BA in Sociology was supposed to be a stepping stone for a future degree in Law. At least, that was her parents’ wish. 

“Do you think you wanna do criminal law?” Waverly asked cautiously. Nicole usually got upset whenever they discussed her future, but this time she just raised her shoulders slightly and said “Maybe”, before continuing her task of priming the nursery wall. 

Waverly scrunched her eyebrows. “Can you change your BA to Criminology, just like that?”

“I dunno.” Nicole thought for a bit. “I mean, I already have the introductory course, and I got a few courses that kinda overlap from Sociology. I think I can fill in the elective requirements with that, so I guess it won’t be a problem? I’ll go and talk to one of the counsellors. That worked for you, right?” She winked, referencing Waverly’s chat with Mercedes Gardner, the guidance counselor. 

Waverly chuckled. “I guess.”

\---

Gus came up with a tray of sandwiches after a good hour, complimenting Nicole on the work she had done. There was still one wall left, but Gus said she would finish it herself, telling Nicole and Waverly to have a break while they waited to paint the first coat of  _ Light Sage _ . 

Waverly read the back of the can. “We have to wait until it’s completely dry before we can paint over it. It says 3 hours.”

Nicole nodded and wiped off her hands on an old ripped pillowcase Waverly had found for her. “What do you wanna do in the meantime?”

Waverly’s naughty grin made Nicole blush, and she was happy that Gus was preoccupied with inspecting the neat work Nicole had done in the corners. 

“We can just hang out in my room,” Waverly said innocently when her aunt returned. 

Gus refused Nicole to help with the dishes, so instead she dutifully followed Waverly to her bedroom, with a new thrill of excitement. Waverly quickly closed the door and didn’t waste any time before pulling Nicole’s face against her own. Her lips were desperately clinging to Nicole’s and her fingers immediately found their way into the neat braid of fiery red hair at the back of her neck. 

“I missed you,” Waverly gasped in between kisses. 

Nicole’s fingers dug into the small of Waverly’s back. Hearing her say those words was such a delicious feeling. “Me too,” she answered against Waverly’s mouth. 

There hadn’t really been any kissing yesterday, as Nicole didn’t stay long after dinner. Gus had insisted on driving her home far too early, and the coil in her gut had tightened further. 

But now she was in Waverly’s bedroom, and Waverly was pulling her closer while steering them both backwards, and it felt  _ wonderful _ .

They tumbled onto the bed, landing side by side. The fall made their lips detach. Waverly looked at her, the skin of her neck flushed and her lips swollen, and immediately started giggling. 

“What?” Nicole said, grinning dumbly.

Waverly tucked Nicole’s hair behind her ear. “I messed up your braid.”

Nicole felt the braid with her hand. The hairs were sticking out in strange places, and the hair tie was almost off. She would have to redo it before leaving this room.

She grinned and pulled Waverly towards her. “You can mess it up all you want.”

Waverly grinned and placed a soft kiss on Nicole’s lips. “Thank you,” she said. “For helping with the nursery.” Her face lingered just a few inches above Nicole’s, her wavy hair tickling Nicole’s chin.

Nicole just smiled and reached up to cradle Waverly’s cheek. In this moment, her life was perfect.

“What?” Waverly giggled.

Nicole blinked. “Hm?”

“You’re looking at me,” Waverly pointed out. 

Nicole’s lips curled up into a wry smile. “‘Cause you’re so beautiful,” she countered.

Waverly smiled back, proving once more her ethereal beauty. “Come here.”

She bent down and captured Nicole’s lips, kissing her slower this time. Her hand immediately slid up into Nicole’s hair and tugged it slightly, just like Nicole liked. Waverly readjusted her position so that she was laying half on top of Nicole, and lazily trailed her tongue over Nicole’s lower lip before deepening the kiss. 

It was incredibly sensual, and Nicole could feel her heart rate accelerating dangerously. She was certain that Waverly could feel how it pounded heavily against her chest, but she didn’t care. She went with the flow, letting Waverly set the pace. She dutifully answered every swipe of her tongue and small suction on her lip.

Waverly started trailing her fingers over Nicole’s clavicle towards her shoulder, stopping at the broad band of her tank top. Her skin was on fire, but the act still made goosebumps appear on her chest. 

Waverly hooked her finger under the strap of her bra and slowly started pushing it off Nicole’s shoulder. Understanding where this was going, Nicole covered Waverly’s hand with her own, and she immediately let go of the strap, returning her fingers to Nicole’s braid instead. 

But when Waverly started untucking Nicole’s tank top from her jeans a minute later, while at the same time making a trail of wet kisses down her throat, Nicole knew what she had to do. 

“Mm- Wait, stop. Waverly-”

She grabbed Waverly’s hand again, and this time she didn’t let it go. Waverly looked at her, confused. Her lips were swollen and her face was flushed and she looked absolutely gorgeous. Nicole almost changed her mind about stopping her, but then the sound of Gus’ heavy footsteps sounded just outside the door.

They both kept still until the footsteps faded. When Gus had reached the nursery, Waverly let herself relax against Nicole’s body and buried her face in her neck.

“Wave?”

Nicole’s heart was still pounding and she was breathing heavily. She wanted nothing else than to let Waverly splay her fingers over her burning skin and let them wander freely over her body, but there was no way they were gonna do that with Gus just outside the bedroom. She also really wanted to talk about it before they moved any further, to make sure they were both ready.

“Waverly…”

Waverly groaned.

Nicole let her hand slide over her back in a random pattern. “I- Uh… Gus is outside...”

Waverly nodded against her throat. She was obviously well aware of her aunt’s location, and deemed it to be quite annoying. 

“And, uh, we haven’t really talked about it,” Nicole went on. “And I just want you to be ready, you know, when we, uh…”

She pressed a kiss to the crown of Waverly’s head. 

They lay there for a bit. It was clear that Waverly was somewhat embarrassed, and Nicole felt a bit stupid to reject her like that, but when they heard the sound of a radio being put on in the hallway a minute later, they were both relieved. 

Waverly eventually emerged out of her hiding spot, peering up at Nicole with big eyes. Nicole smiled and pulled her up for another kiss. They kept it strictly PG this time. 

\---

Gus finished the first coat of the green color the next morning, rendering Nicole out of work when she came over in the afternoon, but Waverly had other plans. She grinned excitedly and held up her phone, showing an ad from Craigslist. “We’re gonna get furniture.”

They drove to the other side of the city to collect an old dresser that Waverly had found on the app. It belonged to an old lady who was moving into a nursing home. Her three adult children were desperately trying to empty the giant house and get it ready for sale, and they were more than happy to give the dresser to Waverly for free. They also handed her two giant bottles of plant-based detergent, fragrance- and dye-free. The old lady had apparently stocked up on a lot of things, and was certainly not planning on moving away anytime soon. “It’s what I used for my children’s clothes,” one of the daughters told Waverly with a knowing wink as she handed her the maxi-bottles.

When they got home, Nicole carried the dresser upstairs with minimal help from a grumpy Wynonna who had just gotten out of bed. They sat down for a quick meal (Gus had made soup), and then went to paint the second coat of green in the nursery. Gus and Nicole were patiently working on opposite walls while Wynonna stood in the middle, rolling her roller slowly over the same spot over and over, and not really contributing a whole lot. Waverly sat on her chair in the hallway, humming along with the small radio on the floor next to her and painting her toenails.

Wynonna insisted on celebrating the finished paint job with beers afterwards, so the four of them sat down in the living room to watch a movie. Nicole would much rather have spent another heavenly hour in Waverly’s bed, but it wasn’t too bad sitting on the couch with Waverly curled against her side instead. Especially when Waverly wrapped Nicole’s arm around her slim body, the act hidden by a large blanket that was frankly too hot. Waverly grabbed Nicole’s hand and placed it firmly on her belly, pressing down on it a bit before curling her hand in the fabric of Nicole’s t-shirt.

It also meant a great deal that Wynonna really seemed to wanna hang out. She made sure that Nicole always had a beer in front of her, quickly sprinting to the kitchen to get another one in dull moments of the movie. She also made loud jokes about the male lead throughout the movie, and would turn around to see if Nicole laughed. She did, every time. 

All in all an  _ A plus _ night.

\---

They finished the last details on Thursday, and went on another run to get a changing table and a whole bag of second hand baby clothes from Waverly’s newest contacts on OfferUp. 

The nursery was really starting to look finished, and Waverly seemed beyond pleased as she stood in the small room, looking around at all of it’s new features. The happiness was radiating in strong waves from her most gorgeous smile, and Nicole wanted to pull her into her arms and swivel her around and kiss her senseless, but Gus and Wynonna where there too. The three of them were standing in the doorway, enthralled by Waverly’s joy.

“What do you want to do the rest of the week?” Nicole asked finally. 

The corner of Waverly’s eye blinked as she turned around, but she didn’t bother to wipe the tear away. Instead she said with another smile, “I think we deserve the weekend off.” 

\---

Friday morning, Waverly and Gus were eating breakfast in the kitchen. 

Wynonna was still sleeping. She’d come home very late last night, and very drunk. Waverly had just been to the bathroom to pee when her sister stumbled upstairs, clearly shitfaced. Waverly had snickered at first, but had eventually padded downstairs to get a big glass of water, and put on Wynonna’s nightstand. When she entered the darkened room, Wynonna had already been sleeping, face down on top of her blanket, with her leather jacket still on.

Gus went to refill her cup of coffee. When she sat down again, she cleared her throat to get Waverly’s attention. Waverly had been scrolling through her apps again, looking for the last items she needed for the nursery. She really wanted to get a crib to sort of finish the room, but every time an ad for a crib came up, it was either too far away or too expensive or, in most of the cases really, too ugly.

“What are your plans for the day, honey?” Gus asked. 

Waverly looked up at her aunt. Her plan was really to sneak off to Peacemaker when Wynonna went to work, wait for Nicole to finish her lecture and then spend the rest of the day with her. But Gus didn’t need to know that. She also didn’t need to know about the neatly folded underwear and extra toothbrush Waverly had already put in her purse. She and Nicole hadn’t yet spent the night together, but maybe the opportunity would present itself tonight. 

It wasn’t about  _ sex _ really. Waverly’s cheeks heated up every time the subject came to mind. She knew she wanted to do it with Nicole, but just not  _ yet _ . Although she was very curious to find out what color underwear Nicole used, and even more what was underneath said underwear, it was also a little bit intimidating. But she was very eager to spend the night with her, to fall asleep with Nicole’s strong arms around her, engulfed in that sweet cinnamon-y smell that was so distinctly  _ Nicole _ . She wanted to wake up next to her, to kiss her good morning and eat breakfast with her. 

She swallowed. “Uhm. Chrissy asked me if I wanted to hang out. She’s at the police station. So I thought I could catch a ride with Wynonna to Peacemaker. And I think maybe we’re gonna have a sleepover?”

She tried to look very innocent, topping the whole thing off with a sip from her apple juice.

“So no meeting Nicole today?” Gus asked with a nonchalant face.

Waverly could feel the blush on her cheeks. “Uh, no. I don’t think so…”

Gus nodded. She pondered for a while, softly blowing at the dark liquid in her cup, until she opened her mouth again. “Is she your girlfriend?”

Waverly froze, with a spoonful of oatmeal in her mouth. She swallowed carefully, feeling the mushy lump of food slide slowly down her throat. Her cheeks were properly burning now. She lowered her spoon. “Uhm…”

Gus waited for Waverly to find her words, still with that patient smile on her face. 

There was, of course, no way Waverly would deny the fact that she and Nicole were indeed  _ involved _ . If she was honest, it wasn’t really a surprise that Gus had figured out that  _ something  _ had been going on between them, the way Nicole had been the dutiful helper all week. Gus had no doubt perceived what had been happening behind Waverly’s closed bedroom door whenever they sneaked off. 

Waverly had stopped being cautious. Not because she wanted to get caught, per se, but rather because she was increasingly comfortable with the fact that Nicole was  _ right _ for her. She wasn’t ashamed of being in love with a woman, because this particular woman was  _ Nicole _ . Nicole had quickly been accepted into her home, both by Gus, who seemed to appreciate greatly how much of a help she was to Waverly, and by Wynonna, who had started adopting Nicole as a new buddy. 

Waverly looked quickly at Gus and then back again at the contorted mirror image of herself in her spoon. Gus was still smiling, still waiting for an answer. Waverly’s twisted reflection was mostly fear. 

Gus would accept it, no doubt. She would be happy for her. Happy that it was Nicole. So why was it so hard saying the words? All she had to do was confirm her question. 

“It’s okay if she is, Waverly,” Gus said. She reached forward to grasp Waverly’s trembling hand. She squeezed carefully, letting Waverly know that she really meant it. 

Waverly nodded and squeezed back. “I know.” She cleared her throat and finally looked up, meeting Gus’ piercing eyes. “We’re kinda, uh, yeah… Dating.”

Gus nodded, giving another comforting squeeze. “That’s great, Waverly. She’s really wonderful.”

A proud smile tugged at Waverly’s lips. “Yeah…”

“You seem happy, Waverly. I’m glad.”

“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading! Do you guys have any new year's wishes for this fic? I really want Nicole to come clean about Waverly soon-ish, she seems to have kinda forgotten about that with the whole renovation...
> 
> I'm very grateful for any comments/kudos you leave. I'm gonna start of 2020 by answering all of the comments I haven't had the time to answer, so I'll see you on the flip side! Next chapter in a week!
> 
> Find me on tumblr @zaxagra if you want!


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly is waiting for Nicole at Peacemaker, and has a little talk with Doc. Wynonna stirs the mood (as usual) when Nicole eventually comes, throwing Nicole entirely off her game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, there! I hope you're all having a great week!
> 
> Thanks to my best friend and loyal beta @jorekbyrnison (she also has the most amazing fan art for this fic, check it out on tumblr @jorekbyrnison or @zaxagra)

Waverly’s school-free week was rapidly nearing its end. 

It had been quite eventful, starting out with Jake’s trip, then renovating the nursery, and just now telling Gus about Nicole. There had been lots of hard work and even more kisses. Nicole had spent some quality time in Waverly’s bed, revelling in sweet make-out sessions (Waverly hadn’t tried to untuck Nicole’s clothes anymore after the first time), and the nursery looked beautiful. The walls were done, and a lot of the furniture was in place, collected second-hand from all over the city. Waverly was very pleased. 

After her little talk with Gus on Friday, Waverly caught a ride with Wynonna to her work. Wynonna was quiet the whole time, staring straight ahead with tired eyes. Waverly tried to ask her about her late night yesterday, but all she got was a grumble in response, so she just let her be.

She sat at Peacemaker while Doc went through his routine of opening the bar. Wynonna was in the basement, doing inventory on the booze, although Waverly suspected she was secretly using the opportunity to do nothing at all.

Waverly was excitedly twiddling her thumbs and repeatedly checking her watch, waiting for Nicole to finish her lectures. She had secretly packed her toothbrush and a fresh set of underwear in her purse. After her initial lie about spending the day with Chrissy, Waverly had eventually come clean and told Gus she was gonna meet Nicole. Gus had smiled as if she knew this was the plan all along, and had offered to come and pick Waverly up next morning. Nicole knew nothing of this arrangement, but Waverly was sure she could convince her. Her stomach fluttered strangely at the thought.

She checked her watch again. It was only 1 pm. Nicole wouldn’t be here for another hour.

She stood up from her booth and strolled over to the bar. Peacemaker had just opened, but there was no one here other than Waverly herself and Doc, who was wiping down the taps. Wynonna was still in the basement, doing God knows what.

“Hey, Doc,” Waverly said and scooched herself up on one of those tall bar chairs. 

“Hi, yourself, Waverly.” He gave her a nod and one of his crooked smiles, making his mustache wiggle. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” She sighed. One hour was a long time to wait when she was restless. She couldn’t wait to tell Nicole about her talk with Gus.

“Are you waiting for miss Haught?” Doc asked.

She looked at him, surprised about how straightforward he was. Did he even know about Waverly and Nicole? She hadn’t spent a lot of time at Peacemaker lately, prioritizing to be with Nicole in private instead. But apparently he knew a lot more than he let go. 

“Uh, yeah. I am.”

He nodded and flung his towel over his shoulder like a real bartender. “It’s nice to see you smile, Waverly.”

Waverly blushed, ducking her head to avoid Doc’s piercing eyes. Was it that obvious?

“Do you think Wynonna suspects anything?” she asked with a low voice. Surely not, right? She would have said something? Or be angry, or...

“Wynonna wouldn’t suspect a horse for a donkey even if it was standing right in front of her,” he said somberly.

Waverly blinked. She wasn’t really sure where Doc was coming from, but it seemed to her like he had another meaning to his saying. She lowered her voice even further. “Doc? Are you two okay?”

“We are splendid, Waverly, but not as much of a ‘we’ these days.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I thought- Didn’t you have a girlfriend?”

“Rosita, yes. A fine woman. Professor at the university.”

“Oh?” Waverly looked surprised. After what Wynonna had let go about this mysterious woman, Waverly had pictured a young woman in skimpy clothes with large breasts, smelling of cheap perfume and liquor. In other words, the opposite of an academic. “Really?”

“Indeed. She teaches biochemistry. Quite excellently, I perceive.”

Waverly nodded. “Right.”

She didn’t know how much she was allowed to poke around in Doc’s life. She didn’t exactly know a lot about him, although she  _ had _ spent a great deal of time in his bar, secretly observing the interactions between him and her sister. From what she had gathered, they worked fine together, joking and talking and cooperating like a well oiled team - even after all the stuff with Dolls and Rosita had gone down. But ever so often, Wynonna would slap his chest playfully, making Doc's face relax into a pleasant smile, or she would talk a bit too amicably with a customer, and Doc would watch her longingly, stopping whatever work he was doing. Of course it didn’t help that Wynonna was grumpy fifty percent of the time, and tried to sneak a smidge of booze into her own cup at least once every shift.

Wynonna didn’t really say much about anything, and Waverly felt kinda guilty for learning things about her through Doc. But Wynonna  _ had  _ been a little more grumpy than usual lately, and even seemed kinda down ever since she’d told Waverly about Doc and Dolls and Rosita and this entire mess. 

According to the timeline Waverly had created about her sister’s relationships these last months, Wynonna had been happiest when Doc had been her main companion.

Waverly swallowed and said with a small voice, “I think she needs you.”

“She has Dolls.”

_ Does she? _

She prodded further. “Can’t you at least try? Like I’m trying with Nicole?”

Doc raised his shoulders in sorrow. “Difference is, she adores you back.”

That was it apparently, because he turned around to reach for one of his tall glasses on the top shelf. He filled it with ice cubes and sparkling water and topped it off with a thin wedge of lime.

“Here you are, Waverly,” he said and put it in front of her. “Now I need to find your sister. I suspect she is doing nothing of the sort I asked of her.”

He left Waverly at the bar counter, alone with her thoughts and her water. 

Didn’t Wynonna adore Doc, the way Waverly adored Nicole? She scrunched up her eyebrows. It seemed like the intricate web of relationships Wynonna had gotten herself tangled up in was nothing if not complicated. But it still seemed like Doc would offer up his relationship with Rosita if Wynonna gave him a green light. And then there was Dolls. Was Wynonna still sleeping with him?

Waverly shook her head, happy that she wasn’t in her sister’s shoes. No matter how messed up her own life had become lately, at least things with Nicole were amazing.

\---

Nicole walked in through the door a little past two. She peered around for Waverly, who was back at her usual booth, and quickly made her way over, her face-splitting smile and charming dimples on full display.

“Hey,” she said, giving Waverly a quick hug instead of a kiss. 

Wynonna was waving from the bar. “Hey, Red!”

Nicole nodded in her direction with a little wave of her own, and then returned to Waverly, still with that excited smile. Waverly could feel herself responding with a similar grin.

“So what’s the plan today?” Nicole asked as she plucked the beanie off her head, revealing her french braid, flattened by the hat. Her muscles were still aching after all the work these last few days, but she was ready for anything Waverly commanded. 

Waverly, however, only smiled and leaned in closer. “Well, something happened,” she said with an intriguing smile.

“What?” Nicole asked curiously, her eyes glinting with anticipation.

Waverly looked around to see if anyone could hear, but the bar was nearly empty and no one was sitting in their direct proximity. She lowered her voice almost to a whisper. “Gus asked me if you were my girlfriend.” 

The sentence hung between them. Nicole tried to read Waverly’s face. Coming out wasn’t an easy thing to do, and, as far as she knew, Waverly hadn’t really made any plans to do it just yet. But here she was, smiling from ear to ear and looking absolutely happy. 

“And what did you say?” Nicole asked eagerly. She was positively holding her breath.

“I said yes.”

Waverly smiled at first, but then her face faltered momentarily as she realized something.

“I mean, if that’s okay?” she added quickly.

Nicole nodded quickly. “Yes. It’s… It’s great. I’d be honored. To be your girlfriend.”

The proud smirk she could feel on her own face was mirrored by Waverly, and her heart leapt with joy. She was Waverly Earp’s girlfriend. A role she would cherish for as long as Waverly would let her.

“I like the sound of that,” Nicole said, grinning from ear to ear. She reached over the table to Waverly’s hand, and they tangled their fingers together in an intimate act that felt a bit out of place in their little booth. They quickly let go, but their eyes said it all. 

“So, tell me,” Nicole implored eagerly. “What did she say?”

“She told me she was happy for me. And she said you were a, quote, ‘wonderful person’. I mean, how can she not.”

Nicole dipped her head at the compliment. She knew Gus approved of her as a _person_ , but this was so much better. 

“And then she told me she would pick me up tomorrow. At your place.”

“Wha-” Nicole’s brain went into overdrive trying to process that last bit of information. “Sooo, today..?”

“Today, we go to your place,” Waverly said simply, leaning back in her seat. “To celebrate my new girlfriend.”

She grinned, and Nicole grinned back. 

“And then I’m gonna sleep in your bed, and you’re gonna be the big spoon and I’m gonna be the little spoon, and we’re gonna just sleep.”

Waverly emphasized those last few words clearly, and Nicole nodded understandingly. She could feel her ears being all warm even though she had discarded the beanie several minutes ago. Waverly smirked again, obviously quite pleased with the effect she had on Nicole.

When the tip of Waverly’s tongue peeked out to wet her lower lip, Nicole could feel her entire body reacting even more. Why did she keep challenging her willpower like this? She wanted to grab Waverly by the collar of her sweater and pull her over the table, to ravage that smug face and have her way with her. But Waverly had said ‘no funny business’, and that’s how it was gonna be.

Nicole gulped heavily and watched Waverly gather her things. 

“You ready to go?” Waverly asked sweetly.

Nicole nodded quickly. 

Just then her phone started vibrating in her pocket. She drew it out and looked at the screen. A familiar lump appeared in her gut.

Waverly met her eyes as she pressed away the call, simultaneously placing her phone in silent mode. “You have to call her some day, sweetie,” she said softly.

“I know.” Nicole swallowed, but put on again the smile from before. “But not today. ‘Cause today we’re gonna celebrate, right?” She grinned and lowered her voice. “Girlfriend.”

Waverly smiled and dipped her head like she always did when she was overflowing with happiness. It was one of Nicole’s favorite things.

Nicole leaned forward and whispered, “Now, let’s get out of here, ‘cause I really want to kiss you.”

Waverly met her heated gaze and nodded furiously, quickly scooching out of the booth.

“Hey, Naughty Haughty, your girl was here yesterday,” Wynonna proclaimed loudly as they passed the bar. She was sitting on the small fridge behind the bar counter, dangling her feet.

“M- my girl?” Nicole stammered. Her brain was occupied with the prospect of Waverly Earp in her bed, and there was no capacity left to figure out Wynonna’s funny riddles. 

“Yeah, Shae.”  Wynonna grinned as if she knew a big fancy secret. “She can drink tequila, I’ll give her that.”

Nicole looked quickly at Waverly, but she just shrugged. “Uh, Shae is not my girl.”

_ Waverly Earp is. _

“No shit, Deputy Dipshit.” Wynonna rolled her eyes. “What the hell is up with you? You’re super weird today. Loosen up, for fuck’s sake…”

“Wynonna,” Waverly warned ominously.

Wynonna jumped off the fridge, shaking her head. “Alright, well, you two boring chickas have fun today, with whatever boring stuff you’re doing.”

“Sorry about her,” Waverly whispered when they were finally outside. 

“Oh, no. Please,” Nicole said quickly. “ _ We _ know we’re not boring. Especially not today.”

She winked and pulled Waverly against her, hidden from view from Wynonna or anyone else behind the dumpsters behind Peacemaker. 

Waverly hummed happily as they kissed, and Nicole tried to do the same, but the thrill in her chest was gone and the mood was ruined.

She’d forgotten all about Shae and the promise she had made to herself. This entire week had been nothing short of heaven, overshadowing any potential issues, and now Waverly said they were girlfriends and she’d invited herself to stay the night. Wynonna’s reminder couldn’t have come at a worse time.

By hearing Shae’s name, Nicole was reminded once again that she had a duty to tell Waverly her secret. She simply couldn’t let them move further without getting this out of the way, they were already far too deep. She sighed. It was probably better to be all alone in her apartment when she told Waverly anyway, instead of in Waverly’s bedroom with Gus just outside the door. This setup was honestly quite perfect. 

Nicole curled her fingers into a fist and gave a short nod to herself. She was gonna tell Waverly today, no matter what it took.

\---

Waverly dragged Nicole off to the small supermarket just off campus. She wanted them to make dinner together. Something nice and cozy to eat while curling up on the couch.

“We need carrots, and leaks…” She tried to remember the recipe as they made their way through the narrow aisles. “And mushrooms.”

Nicole followed her wordlessly, carrying the produce as Waverly put it in her hands. 

Wynonna was right, Waverly thought. Ever since she had called Shae Nicole’s ‘girl’, Nicole had been silent and weird. Maybe she was afraid that Waverly still saw Shae as a threat? If so, Waverly would do her best to convince her otherwise. 

“Hey, you okay?” Waverly asked softly as they stood in line at the check-out disk.

Nicole blinked. “Uh, yeah. I’m fine.”

They both knew it was a lie, but people seemed to be pressed up against them in the tiny store. Waverly would ask again when they were alone.

And she did.

Nicole held open the door to her apartment building, letting Waverly pass. Waverly tried to smile her sweetest smile, but Nicole didn’t seem to notice it. Her eyes were glassy and gazing absentmindedly at nothing in particular.

Better bring the big guns out.

Waverly grabbed Nicole’s hand and pulled her backwards until Waverly’s back was pressed against the wall. She pulled Nicole closer by her waist until they were flush together, and softly cradled her face before kissing her with as much meaning as she could muster. 

“Wave-” Nicole tried to pull away, but Waverly held her close.

“No, I wanna kiss you.”

Instead of kissing, Nicole let her cheek rest against Waverly’s palm. Her eyes were glistening dangerously, and Waverly couldn’t understand why.

“Nicole, what is it? Tell me.”

Nicole shook her head, pressing her quivering lips together. 

“You know I don’t care about what Wynonna said, right?” Waverly asked quietly. Her eyes had the same spark as the time the first time she kissed Nicole. “You’re  _ my _ girlfriend. I don’t care about Shae or anyone before that. I know you two broke up a long time ago, and you’re only friends.  _ You  _ told me, and  _ she  _ told me, and I  _ trust _ you.”

Apparently, that only made it worse. The tears in Nicole’s eyes were threatening to spill. “Yeah, but-” She choked. Something was clearly gnawing at her conscience. 

“Come on, we’ll talk about it inside, okay?” Waverly kissed the tip of her nose and smiled compassionately. Nicole nodded again.

Waverly placed one last kiss on Nicole’s cheek before entwining their fingers together, and started climbing the stairs at a slow pace, with Nicole close behind her. Nicole kept quiet, but squeezed Waverly’s hand every time Waverly turned to smile at her. 

When they were finally outside the door, Nicole took a deep breath before searching for her keys in the pocket of her thick winter jacket. She was fumbling a lot more than usual, Waverly thought, and wondered again what had turned Nicole’s good mood to ash so quickly.

Finally the door was open, and Nicole stepped inside, Waverly following close behind her. 

Something was wrong. Waverly knew it immediately. Nicole froze as soon as they stepped over the threshold, and rightly so. All the lights were on, and there was a distinct smell of dark roasted coffee that clawed dangerously at Waverly’s hungry stomach. In fact, it was a little nauseating.

Nicole was blocking Waverly’s line of sight, so she had to take a step to the left to see clearly.

There was a woman sitting on one of Nicole’s breakfast chairs, with her back to the door. Her clothes were all black, from the leather shoes underneath her bootcut dress pants to her elegant blazer and cashmere turtleneck. Her hair was fixed in a tight knot at the back of her head. It was dyed in a rich tint of red, a few shades darker than Nicole’s fiery ginger. 

The woman started turning around very slowly, as if in slow motion, and Waverly could feel herself holding her breath. 

The woman was probably in her fifties. The thin lines on her face were covered by a slightly tan layer of well-balanced make-up that wasn’t too much, and accentuated her overall elegance perfectly. She was very well-looking, and smiling broadly.

Waverly was thoroughly taken aback, because this woman was a total stranger, and yet she looked so very familiar. In particular, the shape of her nose was distinctly recognizable. 

But Waverly had known who it was the second she saw her, even before the woman revealed her face. Before Nicole said it.

“Mom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun duuuuun!
> 
> Leave a comment or a kudos if you wanna make me smile (it's all very appreciated!), or find me on tumblr @zaxagra


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole's mom is here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting this a day late, I was really struggling with the editing of this chapter. I'll try to stay on schedule next week (no promises).
> 
> Thanks as always to my best friend and best beta @jorekbyrnison. You tha man

“Mom.”

Jackie Haught smiled at the two young women standing by the door. Nicole had her mouth agape, completely petrified by the unexpected appearance of her mother. Waverly was nervously looking at the woman as if she was some kind of powerful witch. She might as well be.

Waverly tried to tuck her open coat around her body to hide her obviously pregnant stomach from Jackie’s gaze. She wrapped her arms around her body too, but it might have already been too late. When she looked up again, Waverly could see something flash in the woman’s eyes. In the next second the flash was gone, and Waverly thought that maybe she’d imagined the whole thing. Either way, Waverly’s instinct was to protect the stomach, no matter what. Her heart sped up another notch as she pulled the coat tighter around her body. 

The apartment was filled with a tension that made Waverly’s skin crawl. Nicole had never spoken of her mother with love or pride in her voice, and Waverly was starting to understand why. The image of the woman alone was enough to make Waverly hold her breath. 

She wondered what would happen with Nicole’s mother here. What kind of errand did she have, here in Ghost River? Glancing towards Nicole, Waverly knew that she was struggling with the same questions. It looked like a million things were going through Nicole’s head, as if she was trying to make intricate calculations of possible outcomes of the scenario. Apparently none of those analyses rendered any results, because Nicole stayed frozen in place in shock and indecisiveness.

Nicole’s mother put her cup of coffee down on the counter with a loud  _ clink _ , and slid off of the breakfast chair and onto her feet. She neatly flattened out any wrinkles or creases that might have appeared on her trousers before straightening up into her full length, proud and tall and impressive, again with that overly pleasant smile. 

“Nicole, honey. Come here.” 

The woman strode with long, powerful strides to where her daughter was standing utterly perplexed, and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, tugging her into an awkward embrace. She took a step back and put a hand against Nicole’s cheek to study her face, like mother’s do.

“You look well, honey,” Jackie smiled.

She turned to Waverly next, who felt like a young doe who was very much caught in the headlights of an off-piste RangeRover who had just changed the lightbulbs. She looked her up and down, eyeing Waverly’s protective embrace with a poignant look, before reaching out her hand.

“I’m Nicole’s mother, Jackelyn Haught, ” Jackie said, totally unnecessarily. “And you are?”

Waverly took the hand and shook it cautiously. “Uh, I’m Waverly.” 

She tried to look at Nicole for support, but she was still standing paralyzed and useless by her side.

“Nice to meet you, Waverly. You’re a friend of Nicole’s?”

An unanswerable question. Waverly didn’t know exactly how much Jackie knew of her existence, but seeing as Nicole had ignored all calls from her mother these last few weeks it seemed fair to assume she knew next to nothing.

Waverly swallowed. “Something like that...”

Jackie nodded with great interest, looking Waverly straight in the eye as she did. She didn’t have Nicole’s warm eyes. The color was the same, but whereas Nicole’s irises were filled with a rich caramel that lit up with joy and endless kindness whenever Waverly looked at her, Jackie’s eyes were a cold chestnutty brown. The eager smile on her lips didn’t quite reach her eyes as she tried to reach into Waverly’s soul. It was all very uncomfortable.

Before Jackie could ask any further, Nicole cleared her throat. “Waverly was just leaving,” she said loudly.

Waverly looked at her in confusion, her hand still clutched in Jackie’s grip.

Jackie finally let go of the hand, and exclaimed, “Nonsense!”

Nicole’s teeth were clenched tight. “Yes, she is.” She turned to Waverly, begging her with every fiber of her body, “Waverly, please, can we talk later? I’ll explain everything, I promise. But just, right now, I need you to leave.”

Waverly gaped at her, confused and hurt and curious and everything in between. Even though the woman scared her quite a bit, Waverly didn’t  _ want  _ to leave. She was interested. This was Nicole’s  _ mother _ , the woman who had raised her. She was the woman who had her daughter’s life all planned out to the T’s. Of course she was interested. 

But then again, Nicole looked as uncomfortable as Waverly felt, and she didn’t want to pressure her into awkward introductions and explanations of who Waverly might be. There was also the thing with the pregnancy. Waverly and Nicole themselves hadn’t even talked about how Waverly’s child would affect their relationship, and she didn’t know if she could stand having that conversation under Jackie Haught’s eager gaze. 

She was about to nod her head and tell Nicole goodbye when Jackie started talking again, her voice slicing through the air like a sharpened knife.

“I just made coffee and there is enough for all three of us. Do you use milk, Waverly? Or perhaps not in your condition?”

She moved rapidly, and was already in the kitchen reaching for the coffee pot before she was finished talking. The question was delivered so off-handedly that Waverly almost missed the implications. With another quirk of Jackie’s eyebrow, Waverly realized that the woman had just acknowledged that she could perfectly well see just how pregnant Waverly was. She felt very exposed. 

_ Shitstorm incoming in three, two... _

“Waverly,” Nicole said next to her before Jackie could say any more. Her hand grasped for Waverly’s fingers, and she squeezed them hard, to ground herself or Waverly or both. 

Waverly felt as though she was caught in a crossfire. The two Haughts had distinctly opposite plans for her, and she felt drawn equally in both directions. She looked from one to the other, Nicole with her pleading eyes and Jackie with the coffee pot raised in question. Eventually the woman just started pouring coffee into two fresh cups, not bothering to wait for Waverly’s answer. 

The woman was strangely intriguing, and Waverly was so curious as to learn more about her, but with a nod to herself, she decided that she would leave. Because Nicole asked her to. She trusted her, and she knew that Nicole would tell her later. 

Jackie spoke again, before Waverly could move. “Do you have any more guests coming, Nicole? Should I bring out a cup for Shae?”

_ Shae?  _

Why would Jackie want Nicole’s ex-girlfriend to come over for coffee? Waverly’s heart sank. Maybe Nicole’s parents had really liked Shae and wanted them to get back together again. 

She looked towards Nicole again, who was vigorously shaking her head. Waverly could see the growing desperation in her eyes, and suddenly she felt sick. There was something unsaid. Something that Waverly should know. It was there in Nicole’s eyes, ready to grasp. If only Waverly could stretch out her hand.

“No,” Nicole stammered towards her mother, but it was too late.

\---

It felt as though the earth was rumbling with a rapidly approaching earthquake that hadn’t quite reached Nicole yet. She could sense it on the horizon, moving ever closer. They were in the danger zone, she knew, and she had to get Waverly out of here before it was too late. 

She wanted to grab her and shove her out the door, or maybe it was easier to leap forward and tackle her mother to the ground, forcing her mouth shut with her own hand. But Nicole couldn’t do anything, because even though it seemed like time stretched out into an endless second before Jackie opened her mouth, it was still only a second.

“Where is that lovely wife of yours anyway?” Jackie asked sweetly, as if she sensed the drama her question would ensue. 

_ Fuck _ .

There it was. All ruined. 

All of Nicole’s plans, the prepared speech, the carefully chosen words. Gone to waste. 

She slowly turned back to Waverly, cautious as to what she might find. Maybe Waverly hadn’t heard, she prayed, but she was never so lucky. She watched as Waverly’s face changed from confusion to doubt, and finally to a dawning comprehension, and Nicole knew it was too late. Waverly looked at her with incredulous eyes, her face drooping with disbelief. Nicole could feel the heat of  _ betrayal _ radiating from Waverly’s body, brandishing her heart with flaming agony.

“Waverly, listen to me,” she grabbed for Waverly hands, but Waverly pulled away, still with that hurtful stare. “Wave- Please, I can-”

“What is going on, Nicole?” her mother asked behind them, but they both ignored her.

Waverly’s eyes were glassy now, unseeing. Nicole instinctively knew that Waverly was already now retreating to a place where she would be unreachable for whatever efforts Nicole put in to explain or make her understand. She was barricading herself in with heavy concrete blocks and wrought iron fences, and soon the walls around her would be utterly impenetrable. 

“Waverly, I can explain. Please, let me expl-”

But Waverly was shaking her head, her lips forming a soundless ‘no’. When Nicole reached for her again, Waverly flinched and started backing up towards the door, towards her escape. 

“Wave-” Nicole stretched out her hand in a final act of desperation, but it was too late. Waverly had disappeared through the open door and was rushing down the corridor, running far, far away from Nicole and her mother and the aching betrayal. Her tears would catch up soon enough.

“Nicole, what is g-” Jackie tried to get her daughter’s attention again, to make sense of this whole scene, but Nicole wouldn’t have it.

“Can you SHUT UP?!” she screamed. She was furious. She turned around to face her mother, her face blotchy and red and her ears fuming. “Why are you even  _ here _ ?” she demanded.

“Nicole, sweetheart, you haven’t answered any of my calls for  _ weeks _ . I was  _ worried _ .” 

Jackie was starting to get angry too, but Nicole couldn’t care less because her heart had just left through the door.

“I have to-” She raked her fingers furiously through her hair and started pulling at it out of sheer despair. “I have to go after her.”

She set off through the door and down the corridor, ignoring the shrill calls from her mother, and sprinted down the stairwell and out of her building. Waverly had probably gone to Peacemaker, to the safety of her sister. Nicole ran as though her life depended on it. Her lungs were burning, but she didn’t slow down until she was at the bar a few minutes later. 

“Wynonna,” she gasped once she was inside, coming to a still at the counter. Waverly wasn’t anywhere to be seen in the bar, but maybe she was down in the basement, or in Doc’s apartment upstairs. 

Wynonna looked at her with giant eyes. The beer she was tapping greatly overflowed.

“Wy- Waver- Wave, where is- is she?” Nicole managed to say in between breaths. 

“Uh, what the fuck is happening, Haught?”

Nicole shook her head. “Jus- Please, Wyn-”

Wynonna quirked an eyebrow, studying the apparent desperation in her face, and eventually gave in. “You just missed her, Red. She got the truck.”

Nicole looked around to where she’d flown inside. Waverly couldn’t have had that much of a head start, maybe she was still here. She sprinted back outside and around the building to the parking lot.

Sure enough, there sat Waverly Earp in tears in her red pick-up truck, banging angrily on the steering wheel with her clenched fists. Nicole could see how she was wailing in despair while her body shuddered heavily.

“Waverly...” 

Nicole ran to the truck. Wynonna was close behind her, apparently curious as to what the hell kind of cat and mouse-game this was. 

Waverly caught sight of Nicole and her sister, and immediately reached for the ignition. The truck roared to life, but it had nowhere to go. Nicole was standing directly in front of it, blocking Waverly’s escape, with her hands held up in defence. 

“Waverly, can we talk?” Nicole shouted over the loud sputtering of the engine. 

Waverly couldn’t hear her, but clearly understood the meaning nevertheless. She shook her head, looking more hurt than ever, and waved her hand to get Nicole out of the way. 

Nicole refused to move. “We need to talk, Waverly. I can explain.” She gestured wildly, but to no avail.

Waverly honked the horn and gestured for Nicole to stand aside again. The tears kept on streaming uncontrollably and she wiped furiously at them, angry at  _ their  _ treachery as well.

“Nicole, I think we should let her pass.” Wynonna tugged Nicole’s sleeve until she stepped aside. 

“She shouldn’t drive like this,” Nicole said hopelessly, her eyes trained on Waverly’s wet cheeks.

Waverly revved the engine and drove past the two women, staring straight ahead as she did. Nicole followed the car’s navigation out of the driveway and onto the road until it was finally out of sight. Nicole was left at the side of the road, her lungs burning and her heart cleaved in two.

“What the hell was that, Haught?” Wynonna asked after a while.

Nicole took a shuddering breath. “I, uh… We had a fight.”

“Yeah, no shit. But what about?”

Nicole shook her head, her gaze still fixed on the spot where the truck had disappeared around a corner.

Wynonna looked at her for a bit more, trying to draw meaning out of her sorrowed eyes, but eventually gave up and clapped Nicole’s shoulder awkwardly. “Let’s get you home. Alright, Gingersnap?”

Nicole nodded. “I’ll just walk. Alone.” She couldn’t think of anything worse than to try to explain to Wynonna how she had broken her baby sister’s heart. Maybe she deserved the wrath of Wynonna, she thought with a shudder.

Wynonna, still completely oblivious, only said, “Sure.”

None of them moved, though. Nicole was still staring straight ahead, her vision mostly occluded by her own tears, and Wynonna stood awkwardly by her side. 

“She’ll come around, Nicole,” she said eventually. With a final clap on Nicole’s back, she went inside. 

\---

Nicole spent a good half hour walking home. It usually took her less than a third of that, but there was a lot to consider, and her feet were heavy.

She felt numb. This was the worst day of her life. It was hard to understand now how wonderfully she had beamed only an hour ago, with Waverly calling her her girlfriend. And now here they were… 

She shook her head. They weren’t over, she refused to accept that. Waverly needed some time to settle, and then Nicole could explain it all. She could still turn it around, she had to.

But first she had to face her mother. Why the hell was she even here?

The stairs up to her apartment felt endless, but suddenly she was back outside her door again, with another lump in her throat. 

If she could only rewind time to about an hour ago, then she and Waverly could open the door again, only this time it would be empty. They would make dinner and Nicole would finally come clean and tell her story, on her own terms. Waverly would be upset, maybe even angry, but she would understand. She would spend the night as planned, and they would kiss and they would cuddle, and tomorrow they would wake up and Waverly would be there and she would smile and kiss her, and Nicole would be embarrassed by her morning breath, but Waverly would just laugh and kiss her anyway.

Nicole shook her head. It was a stupid dream. 

She let her head rest against her door for a bit before gathering the remainder of her courage, and opened the door.

Her mother was still standing by the counter, tapping away on her phone. She looked up when Nicole shuffled inside. The smile from before was gone.

Nicole carefully took off her thick jacket and hung it on the coat rack. She didn't greet her mother, or look at her at all. She didn't know what to say, and it was too painful to try and start a polite conversation when Waverly was gone. Instead she flung herself on the couch, burying her face in her arms. 

The sound of her mother’s shoes on the floor, and then the cushions dipped as she sat down next to Nicole’s knees. Nicole could feel the hand on her back, rubbing in a way that was supposed to be soothing. It only made her angry.

“Why are you here?” Nicole asked, just as she had before. Her voice was muffled by her arms.

Jackie sighed. “I told you, Nicole. You have ignored all of my calls and emails these last weeks. Your father and I were worried.”

Nicole shook her head. She didn’t buy it. Her parents never cared about her staying out late, or hanging out with friends they hadn’t met. Why would they be worried now that she was an adult, living miles away from Toronto? Her mother was here to control her life, to get her back to the firm.

“Who was the girl, Nicole?” Jackie asked, changing the subject. The fake sweetness from before returned to her voice, as if she was trying to portray herself as Nicole's older sister or a close friend. 

Nicole pressed her face into the cushion, as if that would prevent the tears from falling. It didn’t. Her face was coated in salty tears and sweat and snot, and she was crying and Waverly was gone and instead her  _ mother _ was here, and suddenly she couldn’t breathe. 

On instinct, she pushed herself up so that her face was exposed to the air. Her body was jerking and desperately trying to suck air into her lungs, but her throat was tight and her chest constricted. Her vision started swimming and suddenly there were patches of black appearing before her eyes. Nicole heaved again and again, but nothing helped.

“Nicole, look at me, sweetie.” Jackie helped her sit up, her face swimming before Nicole’s eyes.

She was suddenly nauseous and her head felt light.

“Nicole, you’re having a panic attack.” Jackie held Nicole’s face in her hands, forcing her to look at her. “We're gonna breathe together, okay? In and out, very slowly. I’m gonna count to four.”

She started breathing deeply at a deliberately slow pace, methodically counting to four for every inhalation and exhalation. After a minute or so, Nicole’s body caught on and started matching her mother’s rhythm, and after a while her groggy vision started to return. 

“That’s it, Nicole. Very good.”

Jackie went to retrieve a glass of cool water. Nicole’s hands were trembling, but with the help of her mother, she managed to take a few sips. 

“I didn’t know you still had these,” said Jackie. The caring concern in her voice finally felt genuine.

Nicole shook her head. “I don’t.”

She had a lot of panic attacks when she was a teenager, but it had been nearly three years since the last one. She hadn’t missed them.

Jackie rubbed her back again, and this time it actually was soothing.

“Do you want to tell me about Waverly?” Jackie asked again, more kindly than before.

Nicole took a deep breath, shuddering as she exhaled. “She’s my girlfriend. At least, I think we were…”

A crease appeared between her mother’s eyes. “Did you break up?”

Nicole lifted her shoulders. “I dunno…”

Jackie was quiet for a while, still rubbing gently, but then, “What about Shae?”

Nicole closed her eyes. “Shae and I broke up two years ago.” How many times did she have to tell her?

“But you’re still married.”

Nicole answered with clenched teeth. “Not because we want to.”

“Nicole, your father and I really liked Shae. I think if you just -”

“No, it's not gonna happen. I- I love  _ Waverly _ , not Shae." 

Nicole tried to shrug her mother’s hand off her. It felt wrong now.

Jackie pulled her hand back. “I still think you should try to work on your marriage, Nicole. A pact like that isn’t something you just throw away.”

Nicole turned to look at her mother. She bit her jaws together and said carefully, so that Jackie would understand every word she said, “I don’t  _ care _ about my marriage. I never loved Shae. It was a stupid fucking joke, and it’s  _ over _ .” There was despise in her eyes.

Jackie looked taken aback by the foul language, but it didn’t faze her. “Honey, you can’t honestly exp-”

“No! Stop it. Shae and I will  _ never _ be together. But Waverly…” Nicole pressed her palms against her eyes. “I ruined it.”

“Come now, sweetheart. You’re better off without her.”

Nicole only shook her head.

It was dead silent for a few painful seconds, and Nicole was starting to think that that part of the conversation was finished, but then Jackie opened her mouth again.

“She’s pregnant.”

_ Shit _ .

Nicole froze. She’d thought that maybe her mother hadn’t noticed that particular detail, but of course she had. It wasn’t as if Waverly’s secret wasn’t out there for everyone to see these days - her stomach had grown significantly and it was obvious that it wasn’t just weight gain. Apparently her mother had seen it as well.

Nicole held her breath, waiting for Jackie to continue, but she didn’t. Instead she swiftly stood up from the couch and walked back to the kitchen. 

“Do you want coffee, Nicole? There’s still some left.”

Nicole looked at her in confusion. She just sprung out with that huge statement and that was it? That didn't sound like her mother. She would probably use it to win an argument later, Nicole thought icely. Her mother was sneaky like that. 

"Nicole? Coffee?" 

She shook her head. Jackie returned with another cup for herself, and sat down on the pouf opposite from Nicole.

“I thought we could go and have a bite to eat. Martin told me about a restaurant that is supposed to be very good. I booked us a table.”

Nicole groaned. The last thing she wanted was to go to dinner with her mother, and make small talk and pretend like everything was okay. They weren’t a  _ normal  _ family, they never were. 

“I invited Shae as well.”

Nicole glared at her. “You talked to Shae?”

“Yes, of course, I talked to her. She’s my daughter’s wife. We chat, occasionally.”

Nicole squinted her eyes. Shae sometimes told her that her mother had sent a text for her birthday or whatever, but never more than that. 

“I don’t wanna go.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to. I’m your mother, and I’m here to visit my daughter. I would like for you to join me for dinner.”

Nicole snorted rudely. “You can go with  _ Shae _ ,” she bit at Jackie.

“Honestly, Nicole. Why are you like this?” Jackie put her cup down. She looked annoyed. “Your father and I didn’t raise you only to become estranged parents. We love you, dear, and we want you to come back to Toronto.”

There it was. Her mother’s real intention for visiting.

“I’m not going back to Toronto.”

Jackie raised her eyebrows. “You have the internship this summer. It will look great on you resumé, honey, I think-”

“I’m not taking the internship, and I’m not studying law.”

Nicole glared at her mother. Her mother stared back. 

She took a deep breath and opened her mouth again. “I  _ don’t  _ want to be a lawyer.” 

There was no way she could be any more clear about the subject. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, you always wanted to become a lawyer.”

“No,  _ you _ always wanted me to become a lawyer. You and dad.”

Jackie pouted her lips. “Then what do  _ you _ want to do, Nicole? Huh? What kind of dream job have you cooked up in your head?”

Nicole shrugged. “I don’t know.” She sat back and crossed her arms. “But I wanna figure it out myself. I’m gonna change my BA to Criminology.”

Jackie nodded slowly, visibly making calculations in her head. “It’s never too late. Criminology is still an excellent stepping stone into a degree of law.”

“Mom -"

“No, Nicole. Listen to me.” Jackie stood up suddenly, her eyes glinting dangerously. “Your father and I have done everything we could to help you get to where you are. And you’ve pulled in the opposite direction  _ every step of the way _ .”

She was pointing now, directly at Nicole’s chest. 

“And we let you do it. You wanted to play basketball, so we bought you a basket for practice and found the best team for you to join. You wanted to go backpacking, so we got you your plane ticket. You wanted to study here, in Ghost River, and what did we do? Yes, Nicole. We bought you this apartment.”

She was breathing heavily. A dangerous sight. 

Nicole gulped.

“And yet you never want to give anything in return.”

The angry despair was very evident in every single one of her mother’s facial features, from the fire in her eyes to the flaring of her nostrils to her quivering lip. Jackie Haught was obviously very upset with her daughter, and it wasn't a good feeling. Nicole felt something tighten in her throat. She felt guilty suddenly. Maybe some of this could have been better if she’d occasionally answered her mother’s calls, instead of sending them to voicemail every time. If she’d just been honest about not wanting to become a lawyer sooner, then maybe this would all be different. 

Instead everything had come pouring out today.

Jackie huffed. “Do you think I  _ like _ coming here, after months without so much as a phone call or an email from you? And then I find out that you want to divorce your wife, and you have decided you want to follow a different career path? And not only that, but your  _ new _ girlfriend is  _ knocked up _ .”

It was too much. Nicole could hear a distant ringing in her ears, and an unpleasant feeling started in her stomach, growing upwards until it was constricting her breath. 

”You are  _ spoiled _ , Nicole,” Jackie fumed. “The company is there for you to grasp, your own personal kingdom. You will have a wonderful career as an excellent lawyer and the CEO of a large and successful company." She sighed dramatically. "We have done all of this for  _ you _ , Nicole. Time to give back.”

She finished her little speech and let her raised hand fall limply to her side. 

Jackie Haught was a powerful woman to behold. It was obvious why she was such an excellent businesswoman. She was tough and stubborn, and she always got what she wanted. 

It scared Nicole, because she had always believed, deep down in her heart, that she  _ would _ end up wherever her mother wanted her. She’d struggled with the boundaries of what that meant, gradually gaining an inch or two, but still, there was this certainty that Nicole’s future would not be decided by herself. She had never dared to dream. Sure, she had small dreams of playing basketball, or travelling, or pining after girls, but never big dreams about her future and her career and her family. 

Nicole’s heart leapt when she realized that that was no longer true. She did have dreams now. Or at least she had  _ one  _ dream. One single vision of her future. Nicole was happy in the vision. Waverly was by her side, and she was holding her son.  _ Their _ son. They would be a family, and they would love each other, and maybe they would have more children eventually. 

The dream had been sneaking up on her, gradually occupying her subconsciousness, until it filled her entire heart and soul. It was a representation of what she truly wanted, and she hadn’t seen it clearly until now. It was  _ she _ who had become the decider of her destiny.  _ Nicole  _ herself, not Jackelyn Haught. 

Nicole could feel in every cell of her body that she would no longer follow her mother's wishes. This was it. 

She started speaking with a low but clear voice, emphasizing every word. "I never wanted any of that."

Jackie clamped her teeth together. Her nostrils were still flaring. 

"You know I never wanted to be a lawyer, let alone the boss of a giant company. This is  _ your _ dream, not mine." Her voice was steadily increasing in volume. 

Jackie's fist was clenched. It trembled slightly, as if it could combust any minute. She didn’t look like she was gonna accept her daughter’s request, and it only made the anger grow stronger in Nicole. 

"Sometimes -" Jackie swallowed, but the tremble in her voice remained. "Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to, because that is what is expected of us."

Nicole shook her head. She was done with this entire circus. "I won't do it. You can't force me."

Jackie laughed a shrill, humorless laugh. She looked crazy suddenly, like a mad witch whose evil plan was only now getting brought to life. She nodded and shook her head all at the same time, clearly struggling with this whole conversation. Finally she looked up. 

"We'll see what I can do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate every comment and kudos, and you're welcome to shout at me on tumblr @zaxagra
> 
> Onto the next!


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly is angry and confused about the revelation of Nicole's marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know... I'm one day late, just like last week. I think I'm gonna move posting-day to Thursday for this fic, 'cause I've got choir practice on Wednesdays and that's been a bit more problematic than I thought these last few weeks. But no worries, I won't stop posting!
> 
> Thanks for @jorekbyrnison for being the best last-minute beta (I keep sending these chapters very late). You're awesome!

_ Wifey _ . 

The word gnawed at Waverly's brain. She hadn’t thought of it for a while, but she remembered it clearly now. Shae had said it to Nicole all those weeks ago, at Peacemaker. The word had stung then, as it did now, but Nicole had explained it all away, saying it was a nickname. A joke. 

But it wasn't a joke, because Nicole was married, and Shae was her wife. 

Not only that. Apparently Shae was the daughter-in-law Nicole's parents had always dreamt of. How could they not? She was tall and beautiful, like an Amazonian goddess. She was smart and kind and funny, and she was gonna be a frickin' doctor.

Shae was perfect. 

And Waverly was not. 

She tugged the steering wheel harder, until her fingers hurt. 

Once again, Waverly was faced with the failure that was herself. She was careless and stupid and ugly and pathetic. How could she have trusted Nicole when she had told her 'wifey' didn't mean anything? How could she trust  _ anyone _ after all the shit Champ had put her through? Waverly had been  _ careless _ to seek safety and warmth in Nicole's arms, when she  _ knew _ that it wouldn’t last forever. These things never did.

The truth was once again hammered into Waverly’s brain. It was a lesson she had learnt long ago, that everyone always leaves.  _ Always _ . First Mama, before she could even remember, and later Daddy and Willa. Wynonna left on the back of her motorcycle, and then Curtis left them for good. Champ betrayed her with his cheating and his lies, and now Nicole had done the same.

It was all a game to Nicole. Some kind of cruel sport where she would gain Waverly's trust little by little, and once Waverly was ready to call Nicole her girlfriend, she would tear it all apart and laugh in her face. 

Except that wasn't true. 

Nicole didn't laugh. Nicole was desperate. She'd looked like her entire life crumbled to nothing as she pleaded with Waverly. She wanted Waverly to leave as soon as her mother was there. 

_ Because she never wanted Waverly to learn the truth about her marriage _ . 

Or, because she wanted to protect her. 

Nicole  _ did _ care for her, right? It had felt that way until now. She had done so right from the start. Nicole had protected Waverly from those people who were watching as she lay broken in the snow, and then she'd brought her to that café and bought her cocoa. Nicole had listened to all of Waverly’s worries when no one else did. She was kind, with gentle eyes and warm hands, and she'd been there for Waverly every step of this strange journey. 

But, as it turned out, she'd also lied to her every step of the way, because a marriage was kind of a big deal.

Waverly’s phone buzzed in the passenger seat. Another text from Nicole probably. Waverly ignored it, as she had done with all the other texts. 

But then it buzzed again, and again, and it kept on doing so. 

Waverly glanced at the screen. Wynonna was calling. 

Wynonna had been there just now, watching Waverly's tearful escape from Nicole and her mother. She would have to explain, to tell her sister  _ something _ to get her off her back. Wynonna didn't even know she and Nicole had been… whatever it was they were. 

She sighed. Her phone stopped buzzing. 

Wynonna was probably worried. 

Waverly checked her watch. Six o’clock. She'd been here for nearly three hours, sitting alone in her truck at the side of an abandoned road until she was shivering from the cold more than from anger. She'd driven to God knows where, just to get as far away from Nicole and her betrayal as she could. It didn’t feel any better from this distance. 

She looked at herself in the mirror. Her tears had dried somewhere along the way, but their trails were still evident on her cheeks. Her eyes were swollen and red and full of sorrow, and her nose was stuffed. Waverly sniffed a few times. Her right nostril was entirely blocked. 

She took a deep breath, blowing out slowly through tight lips. Something flittered inside of her stomach just then. She hadn’t eaten anything since this morning. She checked her watch again. That was eight hours ago now. The plan had been to make dinner at Nicole’s, but the prospect of a romantic candlelit meal had been washed down the drain as soon they stepped inside her apartment. 

Waverly knew that she had to eat right about now. She was already nauseous, and it would only get worse the longer she waited. Her stomach flittered again. It was a strange feeling, not at all like a hungry rumble, but lower and more fleeting. 

Waverly shrugged. Time to go home.

\---

Nicole was lying on the couch, curled up in the fetal position. She was staring straight ahead at nothing in particular. Her mother had left soon after their argument, and Nicole had been glad to get rid of her. She didn’t have any energy to deal with her mother's unreasonable expectations when Waverly had just ran off like that.

Nicole had sent a dozen texts and tried to call several times, but Waverly hadn’t answered any of it. She hadn’t really expected her to. Waverly clearly didn’t want to talk to her, and what would Nicole even say? ‘Sorry’ didn’t seem to cover even a fraction of it.

Nicole knew she had to explain everything to Waverly. The entire tale about her marriage, and also every excuse for not telling Waverly before now. A shiver went from her shoulders and down her back at the thought. Her lame excuses for postponing the conversation weren’t good enough, and she knew it. Waverly would see right through everything.

Nicole’s phone started ringing suddenly. She’d put the volume on maximum so that she wouldn’t miss any text or call from Waverly, and the sound was painfully loud where she was clutching the device against her chest. 

She answered immediately.

“Waverly?”

Her voice was raspy. 

“No, silly. It’s Shae.”

“Oh.”

Her hand holding the phone went limp again, flopping down on the cushion.

“Nicole?” Shae’s voice called through the phone.

She grabbed it tighter again, holding it steadily against her ear. 

“Yeah…”

“Hey, sweetie, are you okay? I talked to your mom.”

Nicole swallowed. “Right.”

Of course her mother had gone and talked to Shae.

“She told me you had a, in her words,  _ small squabble _ . About me.”

Nicole nodded with a small movement. Her untangled hair rubbed against the coarse fabric of her couch, messing it up even more.

“She also said Waverly was there, but that she’d left.”

Nicole swallowed.

“And you went after her, and when you came back you told your mom that our marriage was over.”

Shae took a break, waiting for Nicole to say something. She didn’t.

“Jackie suggested that we should get a marriage counsellor. She even gave me a name.”

There was just a smidge of amusement in her voice as she said the last bit. Shae had quite a good relationship to Nicole’s mother, but she had always found Jackie’s rigid notion about saving their marriage quite funny. It was, after all, doomed.

“I told her I was gonna file for a divorce, and that I wouldn’t come to dinner with her.”

Nicole sat up. “What?”

“Yeah. Nicole, it’s time to finish this shit. It’s been going on for too long already.”

“But Shae, it’s like eighteen hundred dollars. I checked.”

“Doesn’t matter, honey. It’s time for you to be free from me.”

Nicole shook her head. “I don’t have the money,” she said weakly.

Shae sniggered. “Think we can ask your mom?”

Nicole smiled. Leave it to Shae to find a solution like that.

“I guess we’ll just have to save up. We’ll figure it out. I’m gonna work at my Uncle’s clinic again this summer, so at least I’ll have some money then, if you can wait that long?”

Nicole sighed. “I waited too long already…”

“Yeah, so I gathered.”

A pause.

“You wanna talk about it?”

Nicole sniffed before answering. “She just took off.” She choked. The giant lump that had momentarily disappeared suddenly throbbed painfully in her throat.

“Nicole...” Shae started slowly. Nicole didn’t like the cautious apprehension in her voice. “Nicole, why didn’t you just tell her?”

“Shae -”

“No, really. Look. I know you’re hurt an all, and your mother really sucks, but seriously. You should have just -”

“Fuck off, Shae.”

"Nic-" 

Nicole pressed the call away and swiftly flung her phone across the room. It landed on the floor with a loud clutter. 

\---

When Waverly had found out she was pregnant, she was stunned to silence. When Champ had told her about the cabin trip and about sleeping with Stephanie, Waverly had been numb for several days. But now, when Nicole had betrayed her and finally revealed her  _ lies _ , Waverly was  _ furious _ . 

Waverly spent the next few days angrily stomping around the house and slamming all of the doors, and nothing Gus said or did made any difference. 

When Waverly finally returned home on Friday evening to her worried sister and aunt, she’d merely told them that “Nicole lied to me”, before rushing upstairs to her bedroom. Gus had softly knocked on the door, but Waverly hadn’t answered. When Wynonna eventually just barged into her room unannounced and demanded to know where she had been, Waverly had jumped up and chased her off. The only thing she had accepted was a tray of Gus’ homemade tomato soup.

Gus must have told Wynonna to give Waverly some space, because she kept acting super casual and pretended she didn’t see it whenever Waverly’s eyes teared up or she clenched her teeth making her cheeks bulge. Waverly quite liked it that way, honestly. It meant she could mull things over in private without her nosy sister getting involved. The betrayal felt so personal that she was almost ashamed to share it, especially since Nicole’s marriage had been revealed the very same day Waverly had called Nicole her girlfriend for the first time. Gus probably understood more than she let on, but she didn’t try to push Waverly to talk to her, even though Waverly could feel the sorrowed eyes of her aunt on her face whenever she entered a room. 

“Call me,” Gus said on the porch, as she was preparing to leave for Purgatory again. It was Sunday, and she had to get back to Shorty’s. “When you’re ready, call me. Okay, honey?”

Waverly nodded with downcast eyes. She knew she wouldn’t take the offer, but it was nice to know it was there.

Wynonna was right behind her, and had no doubt heard Gus’ gentle plea, but she acted as if she were suddenly deaf. 

The two sisters stood in silence on the porch, watching their aunt back out of the driveway. As soon as the blue and white truck was out of sight, Waverly sniffed once before turning and heading inside without a word. School started again tomorrow, after what felt like an endless spring break, and she wanted to look over her homework one last time. 

Free of Gus’ overseeing gaze, Wynonna saw her chance. She somehow managed to follow Waverly up the stairs and to her bedroom without her noticing. Truth be told, Waverly was struggling so hard with keeping her mind on anything but the memory of Nicole’s pleading eyes and grappling hands, that the energy spent on simple things like hearing and sight was set to a low minimum. Anyone could have sneaked up on her, and Wynonna was definitely a master sneaker. But that didn’t make Waverly any less angry. 

“Wynonna, what the shit?” she hissed as Wynonna suddenly plopped down on her bed, coming out of nowhere.

Wynonna’s face was overly innocent. “Just wanted to hang,” she said with a shrug.

Waverly was already fuming, but tried her best to calm down. After all, her sister wasn’t the culprit. “I’m busy.” She gestured to the mess on her desk - textbooks and pens in various colors and her closed laptop with colorful stickers on the lid that said ‘Lead with kindness’ and ‘Protect sacred water for our future’. 

Wynonna nodded, but didn’t get up to leave. “Don’t mind me, I’ll be quiet.” She lunged around to lie on her stomach and pulled out her phone. 

Waverly took a deep breath in a vague effort to control her anger. It had minimal effect, because her nostrils didn’t stop flaring. With a final sigh, she got to work, but as soon as she opened her laptop to read through her essay on the impact of overpopulation on climate change, she could feel Wynonna’s eyes on her back. 

She turned around with a huff and a plan to tell her sister off, but Wynonna was simply laying on the bed, playing CandyCrush on her phone. 

Waverly turned to her essay again, but her concentration was still nowhere to be found. She read the opening statement three times before giving up and closing the lid of her computer altogether. 

“Why are you  _ here _ ?” she demanded angrily to her sister, this time turning fully with her arms crossed. 

Wynonna looked at her as if she was doing nothing wrong. It only made Waverly’s fury boil harder. 

“I’m just hanging,” Wynonna said, like she had before.

Waverly clenched her teeth. “I can’t concentrate with you here,” she hissed. 

Wynonna raised her eyebrows. “I think you’ll find that  _ my _ presence isn’t the issue here,” she answered boldly.

“What?”

“Yeah.” Wynonna pushed herself up into a sitting position. “Ever since you almost flattened GingerTop to the ground with your jeep, you’ve been nuts.”

Waverly scoffed, clearly offended. “I’ve been  _ what _ ?”

“Nuts,” Wynonna repeated simply. “Completely off your rockers.” She had always liked poking the dragon, to try and see if it could spew flames. In this case, Waverly was an angry Hungarian Horntail, and her face was slowly turning so red that fire wasn’t far off. 

“I’m  _ not  _ nuts,” Waverly bit. 

“Baby girl, you can’t fool me. What did you even fight about?”

Waverly had managed to keep her emotions at bay the entire day, but the tremble of her fingers told her she was currently near-exploding. “It’s none of your business.”

“Come on, what the hell happened? You’re acting crazy.”

Waverly puffed up her chest, readying herself for fire and rage, but Wynonna continued talking.

“Did Haught screw Champ or something? ‘Cause I know she’s a lesbo, but the way you’re acting -”

“She didn’t screw  _ Champ _ ,” Waverly exclaimed. 

“Who then?”

_ She married frickin’ Shae. _

Waverly shook her head. She didn’t want to tell Wynonna. “Just, back off.”

“Waverly, I’m  _ concerned _ . You’re super angry at everything and I just don’t get it. I’m your sister, I wanna help you.” 

Wynonna stretched out her hand for Waverly to take, but it was left hanging lonely in the air between them. She quickly drew it back. 

“I’m  _ here  _ for you. Gus is too.  _ And _ Haught, and Little Nedley, and Jerrybug, and -”

Waverly lurched up and shrieked, “Stop it!”

She didn’t want to hear about Nicole  _ being there _ for her. She clearly wasn’t, or she wouldn’t have lied to her face and messed everything up.

“You don’t know anything about it,” she shouted at her sister. “You don’t know  _ anything _ . Can you just leave me alone?”

“Waverly, why won’t you -”

“Get out.” Waverly said it through clenched teeth with her finger pointing to the door.

Wynonna looked at her for a few seconds, disappointment clear on her face. She finally got to her feet. “You know, if you keep pushing people away like that, there won’t be anyone left to deal with you and your kid,” she said with a mean snide as she passed Waverly on the way out.

Waverly slammed the door behind her. Her heart was pumping too fast and her fists were clenched hard. She felt like burning down the whole world with her anger. 

Waverly didn’t talk to Wynonna again for the rest of the day, and spent most of her evening in bed, clutching at her stomach, which was strangely the only thing that gave her any sort of comfort. She kept going through every detail she could remember from everything that had happened in Nicole’s apartment, and it made her equally more furious and more heartbroken. 

Nicole’s face had become cruel and mocking in her mind. It felt like all these happy memories with Nicole over the past few months were suddenly not real, or rather a mean lie. The mere thought of Nicole had always brought her joy, from that very first meeting in the snow. Waverly had felt safe and cared for, but the memory of Nicole’s warm embrace only felt suffocating now, like her soft, ivory skin was coated with poison. Had this been the plan all along? To what purpose?

Every now and then, an image of Nicole’s kind eyes or her adoring smile occluded the sneering face Waverly’s brain had constructed. It only left Waverly feeling more confused, unsure of which face was the real one. 

She clawed at her eyes and howled miserably under her pile of blankets. How could Nicole have done this to her, when she  _ knew _ everything that Waverly had gone through? All the shit from a lonesome childhood in Purgatory, the loss of one family member after the other, Champ’s abuse, her unwanted pregnancy. How could Nicole add yet another bad thing to that list? How could Nicole look at Waverly, with her warm caramel eyes the made Waverly melt, and confess her devotion to her, when she just gonna rip it all apart anyway?

It had been weeks since the last time Waverly cried herself to sleep. It had been weeks since her dreams were occupied with demons and ghosts. It would be weeks until she slept safely again. 

And it was Nicole who had taken that away from her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment or a kudos if you want! I'm also available for a chat on tumblr @zaxagra if anyone is interested.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our favorite queer disasters are having a hard time. Details below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will I post on Wednesday? Will I post on Thursday? Who knows! (not me) 
> 
> @jorekbyrnison is my beta and also very awesome

Waverly briefly considered playing the pregnancy card and skip school on Monday, but she decided she needed the distraction. She’d been in her bed for two days, buried underneath a big pile of blankets. Somehow, her blanket fort did nothing to shield her from all the hurt Nicole had inflicted upon her, and Waverly kept alternating between bouts of uncontrollable sobbing and agonizing fury. 

There was also this whole situation with Wynonna. Her sister wasn’t up when Waverly prepared herself for school, and frankly she was glad that she didn’t have to speak to her. She didn’t know if she could stand another scowl from her. 

Wynonna had been mean yesterday, demanding an explanation about Waverly’s current foul mood, when the truth was too painful to put into words. It seemed unnecessary to tell her about the short-lived relationship with Nicole when Wynonna hadn’t known anything about it to begin with. Her sister’s ignorance about Nicole made Waverly furious all over again. Gus had guessed right away that Waverly and Nicole were more than ‘just friends’, so why couldn’t Wynonna open her eyes for  _ once _ , and see what was happening right in front of her? 

Waverly suspected that Wynonna didn’t  _ want _ to know about her baby sister’s newfound sexual orientation. She kept asking about Pete York, but had never once suggested that  _ Nicole  _ might be the one to hold the key to Waverly’s heart, even though she  _ knew _ Nicole was gay, and the two of them had spent an inordinate amount of time together. Waverly was sure that Wynonna had guessed that  _ something _ was up when she dramatically drove away from a desperate Nicole on Friday, but  _ no _ . Wynonna stayed oblivious as ever. 

It didn’t matter now, Waverly thought miserably as she brushed her teeth. No need to  _ come out _ or declare her sexuality in any way. Wynonna didn’t need to know, now that her little adventure in lesbianism was over, and hopefully this whole quarrel would blow over in no time. 

Either way, it was better to be sulking at school instead of facing the disappointment from her big sister at home. 

She was happy she went, because it seemed as though every teacher had decided to get into exam mode. It was only the first day after spring break, but Mrs. Lewis and Professor Malick both showed examples of tasks given at earlier exams, and Professor Beaufort gave them a list of relevant subjects to repeat over the next few weeks. 

Waverly’s first exam wasn’t until the start of June, but with the vast curriculum she decided there was no time to waste, and she better get started with a study schedule as soon as possible. School would have to be at the top of her priorities if she wanted to graduate with acceptable grades, and that meant no distractions, including pondering over lying girlfriends or sisterly fights. 

She was obviously still very angry with Nicole. After everything Waverly had shared about  _ her  _ life, she was incredibly hurt that Nicole wouldn’t even tell her this. It was quite a monumental part of Nicole’s life, Waverly thought, and it sucked that she would lie about it, repeatedly.

After many hours of lonesome reflection over the weekend, Waverly had found out that this was the part that hurt the most. Nicole had sent her plenty of texts and left her several voicemails telling Waverly that she and Shae were over, they were broken up and Nicole didn’t love her. And Waverly believed her. But why did she have to lie about it? Why had she deliberately told Waverly that ‘wifey’ was a silly nickname, when it clearly wasn’t?

Not even Headmaster Moody’s announcement that Waverly was elected Valedictorian for the class of 2019 lessened the feeling of Nicole’s betrayal. It only meant there was yet another thing she had to worry about. 

Adding to her growing list of worries, Waverly's meeting with the Yearbook crew on Tuesday went horribly over time. As the group of stressed out senior students scattered out of the room after their meeting, Waverly had to take a detour to the bathroom. Pregnancy bladder and all that.

She checked her phone on her way out, having had it on ‘silence’ the entire day to not be distracted by texts from a certain redhead. Waverly quickly scrolled past the notifications from Nicole - only two texts and one email today - and found a message from Doc. He personally invited her to dinner at Peacemaker, because he was making  _ “scrumptious vegan quesadillas” _ . Waverly’s diet had been leaning more and more towards veganism these past weeks, although she was very strict about consuming the correct amount of nutrients for her baby. If that meant eating an egg or two to get enough protein, so be it. 

Her diet had turned out to be a proper source of inspiration for Doc. He had been experimenting heavily with his favorite recipes to make them accessible for Waverly, and he proudly texted her a photo whenever he had found a new signature dish. 

Vegan quesadillas sounded absolutely delicious, Waverly thought, feeling the oncoming rumble in her stomach. Except the meal was served at Peacemaker, right around the corner from the university campus and Nicole’s apartment. Also, Wynonna was there. 

Waverly had gone straight home after school yesterday, knowing that Wynonna would be at work and she would have the house for herself. She spent the evening working out a strict study plan, scheduling out all of the different subjects and color-coded chapters on a huge spreadsheet that she hung up on her bedroom wall. Then she’d made herself dinner, and was careful to plan her bedtime so that she wouldn’t have to meet her sister when she got home. 

She knew she had to speak to Wynonna again sometime soon, but Waverly selfishly thought that Wynonna should be the one to call for a peace offer. She was the grown up, after all.

Waverly quickly texted Doc that she wasn’t feeling right, and that she would just go home. She quickly added that she would love to try his quesadillas another time, when she was feeling better. 

It wasn’t far from the truth, she thought. She was completely exhausted from the constant worries and overflowing emotions, and her entire body felt on edge. She would just go home, read through her notes from today’s French lesson and repeat the chapter on redox reactions for Chemistry, do some yoga, and go to bed early.

Waverly was tapping away on her phone as she walked through the deserted hallway, and didn’t notice the open door she passed. 

“Hey, Earp!” a voice suddenly called.

Waverly stopped and took a few steps back, peering in through the open door. It was the guidance counselor's office, and Mercedes herself was sitting behind her desk, with two shot glasses and a bottle of tequila in front of her. She looked kinda busted, but was still grinning excitedly. In fact, she looked quite alluring, with her tight red dress matching her bright lipstick, and a giant pearl necklace. 

Waverly blinked, reminding herself that she shouldn’t be thinking about the school counselor that way. “Eh, hi,” she said instead, and nervously stepped inside. 

Mercedes was quite brave to be drinking tequila a mere hour after school was finished, and with an open door at that, but she didn’t exactly seem fazed by a student’s presence. The woman gestured for Waverly to sit down, who quickly closed the door before plopping down on the chair in front of Mercedes’ desk. 

“I have a date,” Mercedes explained with a playful wink before slamming back one of the shots. She smacked her lips a few times and smiled again. The sudden burst of alcohol didn’t seem to have an impact on her. Then she seemed to remember something, and her smile widened even further. “Hey, congratulations on the announcement!”

Waverly shifted in her seat. “Uh, what an-”

“You were chosen valedictorian.” She raised her remaining shot in salute, but didn’t drink it. “You earned it, Earp.”

Waverly tried to mirror the smile, but she couldn’t quite manage it. “Thanks.”

Mercedes studied her face. “Are you not happy with it?” she asked, raising her neatly plucked eyebrows slightly.

“Yes, of course,” Waverly said quickly. She’d worked hard to become Valedictorian, and she was honestly quite proud of the accomplishment, but it was hard to be happy when everything else was shit. “It’s just a lot.”

Mercedes nodded slowly, giving Waverly the opportunity to share what else she might have on her plate at the moment, but she remained silent. 

Mercedes changed the subject instead. “Did you have a nice spring break? Good trip?”

Waverly raised her eyebrows in surprise. Jake’s trip felt forever ago. She swallowed. “Uh, yeah.”

She felt a bit uneasy talking about it. The trip wasn’t a secret, exactly - a lot of teachers and staff had probably heard about it. Waverly knew they would put two and two together and figure out that the trip was in fact an entire weekend of partying and celebrations before their final exams approached, but it still felt a bit weird.

Mercedes cleared her throat. “I heard Champ Hardy was, ah… Well, a dick.”

Waverly scrunched up her eyebrows. The teachers had  _ not  _ heard about that. 

“Uhm,” she said, unsure of how to react. Being the school counselor, Mercedes probably shouldn’t call other students foul names.

“Wynonna told me,” Mercedes winked. 

Waverly nodded. “Right.”

She didn’t know Wynonna had rekindled the relationship with Mercedes, but she could picture the two of them clearly, sitting at the bar of Peacemaker after hours, chugging down shot after shot of tequila and bourbon and whatever else they could find. A newfound friendship, forged in booze. 

“I know I’m not the most conventional guidance counsellor, Waverly,” Mercedes said in a more serious tone. “I’ve got my flaws and I do things a bit differently than the one before me - what was his name? Never mind.”

Mercedes was slurring a bit now, only slightly, but Waverly noticed it.

The woman suddenly leaned forward and said dramatically, “But there are things I can help you with.”

She looked Waverly straight in the eye for a second, as if to prove a point, before she raised her glass and swiftly swallowed down the second shot. Waverly didn’t know if that was supposed to make her trust her more. 

“With child care and stuff,” Mercedes added in conclusion, as if her speech wasn't just interrupted by four centiliters of tequila. 

Wynonna had very obviously told Mercedes all about Waverly’s heated conversation with Champ, and she wasn’t sure she liked it. Had Wynonna told her old friend about the fight with Nicole too?

A new wave of anger towards her sister flared up inside her chest, and Waverly could feel her nails digging into the palm of hand where she clenched it tight. 

Waverly hadn’t thought about Champ since spring break. The rage that she’d felt for him when he tried to get himself off the hook had faded significantly, and in this second, Waverly couldn’t find herself caring about him even a little bit. There were more important things to worry about right now, and Champ was so far down the list that his name was almost forgotten. 

“I don’t want him involved,” Waverly said clearly. 

“I get it.” Mercedes’ voice was unexpectedly soft. 

“I know he deserves it, but…” Waverly shrugged. “I don’t know. I just want him gone, you know?”

She looked at Mercedes, who was once again nodding slowly, giving Waverly an opportunity for self-reflection. 

She was done with Champ. He was out of her life, and he would never be part of it again. He would certainly  _ not  _ be the father of her son, never in a million fucking years.

“Either way, I can help you figure stuff out,” Mercedes said. “My office is always open.”

Waverly nodded. She slowly unclenched her fist and exhaled with a long sigh. 

Her stomach fluttered just then, as it had before, right beneath her navel. Her hand went to it, almost like a reflex, and rubbed her fingers lightly over the spot.

“Is the baby moving around in there, Waverly?” Mercedes asked in awe. 

Waverly stilled. The baby wasn’t kicking, the flutters were merely… flutters. Right?

“Uh, no. Just hungry,” she said, but she suddenly wasn’t so sure.

She had felt it a few times these last days, but Waverly had always related the feeling with being hungry. One time she thought it was simply gas. 

Mercedes carefully filled up one of her glasses again. “Has he started kicking yet?” she asked casually. 

“I don’t think so,” Waverly said, but again she felt like that might not be correct. She rubbed her fingers over her stomach again, but the flutters had stopped. 

Maybe this was what it felt like when her baby first started to move around. It should be happening right about now, Waverly knew. Her doctor had said so at the last ultrasound. 

With a slight leap of her heart, Waverly’s mind promptly went to Nicole, and she couldn’t resist the little smile that formed on her lips. In a welcome moment of forgetfulness, Waverly thought that maybe she could call her, to tell her about the flutters and discuss with her what it could mean. She could already hear the excitement in Nicole’s voice when she realized the possible implications. 

But the fantasy was only brief, because Waverly’s next thought was to curl up and cry.

She missed Nicole, she realized. She utterly and thoroughly missed her. She missed her smile and her warmth and her lips, and Waverly couldn’t shake the thought of Nicole’s hand on her belly, feeling for that faint flutter herself. She missed Nicole so much it made her nauseous, and suddenly it was as if something tightened uncomfortably in her chest. 

Waverly could feel a new wave of anger flaring up inside of her. The anger was mostly directed at herself, for wanting to share this little development with  _ her _ . Nicole didn’t deserve to be part of this, because she had  _ lied _ and betrayed her trust.

Nicole could put her hand on  _ Shae _ ’s stomach if she wished, and start a family with  _ her  _ instead. She only brought lies and destruction wherever she went, and Waverly would  _ not _ allow it anywhere near her baby. 

Waverly nodded resolutely to herself, contempt with the defence she was building. She would do all of this alone. She didn’t need anyone else, not Nicole, not Wynonna, and certainly not Champ frickin’ Hardy. 

With glazed eyes, Waverly pushed the chair back so that it screeched painfully against the linoleum floor. 

She didn’t notice Mercedes’ worried eyes as she excused herself out of her office, and she didn’t hear her call for Waverly to come find her if she ever needed to talk. The only thing she felt was the hardness of metal as she banged her fists against her locker door a minute later. 

She took a moment to breathe, resting her head against the cold metal door for a second, before unlocking it and pulling out a pen and paper. 

Waverly hadn’t always been a spontaneous person, she reflected. She’d always been a planner, and had been contempt with the ability to think everything through before she made any major choices. But her capacity for planning had been missing for some time, and frankly, she had known what she wanted to do about this particular situation for a while now.

She wrote a short, formal letter, signed her name at the bottom, and walked the familiar route past the row of red lockers, finally stopping and pushing the piece of paper through the slits of one of the locker doors. As the letter disappeared between the metal grate, it was as if she could see Champ’s face fading from her mind, and the weight of her former boyfriend lifted from her shoulders. 

\---

Nicole sat on the couch, balancing her laptop on her knees. She read through the email one more time. It was for Waverly, explaining that she would stop sending texts and emails now, to give Waverly some space. The rationale had been that  _ maybe Waverly will come to me if she just gets some time to think things through _ , but Nicole wasn’t sure if she believed it. 

The only thing she wanted was for Waverly to give her a chance. She wanted to explain everything, so that Waverly could understand why Nicole had been so stupid, and they could work out how to go from there. Nicole refused to give up, but the sliver of hope she had started out with after Waverly had stormed off five days ago was getting increasingly thinner for each unanswered message she sent. 

Nicole sighed and hit send. She waited for the page to finish loading before reaching out her hand to close the lid, but then she noticed a fresh email in her inbox. From Jackie Haught.

With a trembling finger, Nicole tapped the touch pad, opening the email.

For five days, she had refused to make contact with her mother, even though the woman had certainly tried. Jackie had been on Nicole’s doorstep again on Saturday morning, but Nicole had cleverly put in place the key chain to prevent her from entering using her own key, and Jackie had no way of accessing the apartment without the use of brute force. Instead, she had stood outside in the hallway, demanding Nicole to let her in and have and ‘adult conversation’, but Nicole had remained silent, and eventually her mother had left out of embarrassment towards Nicole’s neighbours. 

On Sunday, Nicole had talked briefly with her father on the phone. He almost never called her, leaving most of the contact to Jackie, but Nicole figured it would be easier to talk to him than to her mother. Not surprisingly, he had simply repeated the demands that Jackie had already told her so many times. “Finish your law degree.” “Try working on your marriage.” “Come back to Toronto.” 

But Nicole wouldn’t budge. She had explained to him how she had no ambitions to become a lawyer, and that she and Shae were very much broken off. She even told him about Waverly, and she could hear the slight hesitation in his voice when Nicole’s words turned to gravel halfway through the tale of Waverly’s escape.

“Please, Nicole. Come home,” he had said. His tone was sincere, maybe even sad, and Nicole almost felt guilty. But then he said, with a hesitant plea, “Listen to your mother”, and Nicole had hung up. 

And now there was an email from her mother. 

She read it quickly. And then she read it again, to try to make sense of the formal words.

_ ‘We regret to hear about you decision to refrain from a career in law, and from a future here with us, at Haught & Sons in Toronto. As you have decided to follow a different path than the one that was agreed upon, your father and I have decided that we will no longer support you financially. That is, of course, unless you reevaluate your application for a degree in law - like you initially intended to.’ _

Nicole wasn’t sure if her eyes were fooling her, or if what she was reading was, in fact, real. She blinked a few times and read the paragraph again.

_ ‘You will be asked to move out of the apartment we provided you with for the duration of your education, as you will no longer use it for the purpose it was intended. A real estate agent will make contact to retrieve your keys and settle the details within a short time. Please accept the enclosed terms. We will be waiting for your confirmation.’ _

Nicole’s laptop hit the floor with a dull thud as her fingers lost their strength. 

This wasn’t real. The entire email sounded like a formal registration of a cancelled subscription,  _ not _ a cancelled  _ parenthood _ .

They couldn’t do this. Could they? They probably could, they were lawyers after all. But they were her  _ parents _ . Weren’t they supposed to care for their daughter?

She started pacing through her small living room. The apartment was everything she had. All her belongings were here. Where would she live if not here?

She stopped. Maybe it was better to move back to Toronto. 

But then she shrugged. After all of the shit she had been through these last few days, she would  _ not _ crawl back to the safety of her parents and their wealth. 

This was better, she decided. She would be free from their obligations. Free to study whatever she wanted to. Free to find a job she loved, and live in a nice house, and have a family, and  _ Waverly _ . 

Nicole crashed down on the floor. 

She had lost Waverly. 

And now she lost her apartment, along with the steady flow of money that granted her that little bit of luxury she had come to depend on. There was no way she was gonna pay for a divorce now...

She lost her parents too, she realized, because from now on she would not allow them to give any more demands. This was their break up, their end, and she would never ask anything from them again. 

Except one final request. 

"Please, give me time to find a place to live," she begged on the phone to her father. 

He had answered after the fourth buzz, but had yet to say a word. 

"Please, dad…"

When he finally spoke, he sounded as broken as Nicole. He answered wirth stumbling words. "I- Your mother… Nic-cole, I'm so- so…" 

They cried together, both of them aware that this might be the last chance they got. 

It was an unspoken truth in the Haught household that Jackie’s words were to be held sacred. “ _ One does not simply deny Jackie Haught’s commands _ , _ ” _ Shae had once joked. Nicole had laughed then, but now she only cried. 

It should be a celebration, rather than this endless feeling of sadness. She had broken free, at last, and Nicole’s obligations to her mother were finally gone. She had dreamed about this moment, wished for it time and time again, but somehow it didn’t make her happy. Because it hadn’t been  _ her _ choice. It was her mother who had decided, and now the weak ties Nicole held to her family had been severed clean off, while simultaneously carving away the emotional bond she still felt towards them. 

Her father, on the other hand, was still held under that iron spell. 

"Of c-course, N-nicole," he finally managed, before muffling another sob. "Take all the time you need, k-kiddo."

Nicole drew a trembling breath. Her face was swollen and red, and wet with tears and snot. "Thank you," she gasped, suddenly filled with an intense surge of love for her father. 

At times, Nicole had been absolutely furious at him for not standing up for her. He had done his best to stay clear from most arguments between mother and daughter, even though they both depended on him to take their side. Nicole was grateful that he would at least offer his support now, when her entire world was laid in ruins. 

It felt good to just have him on the phone for a bit. Neither of them said anything, but Nicole could hear his shaky breath, and it was nice to know that this was difficult for him as well. 

Nicole wiped her nose with the sleave of her hoodie. She was ready to let go. 

"Dad?" 

"Yes, kiddo?" 

"I'm sorry."

"Me too, Nicole. M-me too…"

"I love you, dad."

His voice broke. Nicole could hear her father wailing with the loss of his daughter, hundreds of miles away. And yet, he couldn't say it back. Instead came the click and the continuous mechanic beep as he hung up for the last time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for riding along on this emotional roller coaster. Maybe things will get better sometime in the future? Find out next week.
> 
> Leave a comment if you have any thoughts or feelings you wanna share! I'm also on tumblr @zaxagra if that's more your jam


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly is 20 weeks pregnant - a day that is spent in sorrow, and without Nicole. There is an Earp sister-moment, and a sweet little convo with Doc. Nicole goes on her own little adventure to get her mind off of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta is awesome! Go give her a hug @jorekbyrnison

In the course of just a few days, Nicole’s entire life had gone to shingles. 

After her parents very formally had broken contact with her, and the tearful call with her father, Nicole had sat in the middle of her three-seater for several hours, staring straight ahead with glossy eyes, until it was well past midnight. Then she’d stretched out her stiff legs and shuffled to find her notepad, and spent the next few hours writing letter after letter, detailing all of the events that had gone by after Waverly had last seen her, the tale of her short-lived marriage, and a million reasons for giving their relationship another chance. One of the letters simply said ‘I’m sorry’ eighty six times over (that was as many ‘sorries’ she managed to squeeze in on one page).

None of the letters were good enough, though. Nicole crumpled up every single sheet of paper, until the floor around her was scattered with failed attempts of reconciliation. 

She’d finally succumbed to a restless sleep, right there at the breakfast bar. She’d woken up with a sore neck and a big red imprint on her forehead where it had rested against the hard surface of the laminate benchtop.

Without changing her clothes or brushing her teeth, Nicole had gone out to the small supermarket on the corner. She’d gotten lasagna noodle sheets and vegan cheese and spinach, forging a plan to haul Waverly over with a fancy dinner. But then she remembered that Waverly would never in a million years accept a dinner invitation when she didn’t even answer any of Nicole’s texts, and she had added a bottle of cheap gin and three bags of Doritos in different flavors to her groceries. 

Somehow she had also managed to bring home a cat, making it the strangest shopping spree in the history of shopping sprees. The poor little thing had been hiding behind a dumpster, evidently abandoned by its previous owners as it looked scrappy and dirty and very, very thin.

Nicole brought the cat home along with her odd collection of groceries, gave it a bowl of water and a few slices of turkey deli meat, and watched as the scruffy animal munched it all down. She decided to keep it in the apartment until someone came to claim her, and spent the rest of the day organizing flyers asking “Is this your cat?” with her attached phone number, and sticking them to lampposts all around the neighbourhood. It proved extremely difficult to take a picture of the ginger cat for the flyer, as the beast had gone into hiding underneath her couch immediately after its little feast of turkey. Eventually Nicole gave up and sat down on the floor with her back to the couch, and suddenly the little thing crawled out and emerged from the thin gap on its own accord, to plop down on Nicole’s lap, ready for cuddles. Nicole immediately pounced at the opportunity and snapped several pictures before giving the cat a generous amount of head scratches. 

When she came home from distributing the flyers, she was exhausted. Nicole gulfed down an entire bag of Triple Cheese Doritos together with a tall glass of gin and Sprite (which was disgusting), and fell asleep, this time on the couch with the ginger cat purring snuggly on her chest.

When Nicole woke up a few hours later, some time close to midnight, the cat had moved to line itself up in its full length along the side of Nicole’s abdomen. 

It was nice to have a purpose, caring for an orphan cat - much like Nicole had become an orphan herself, she reflected sadly - although she knew it wouldn’t last forever. She was supposed to move out of the apartment pretty soon, and the cat probably had owners who were worried about its whereabouts. Although, she thought as she watched the tiny ball of fur lap up a whole can of tuna she had found at the back of the cupboard, the cat's owners hadn't really done a great job caring for the little beast up until now. 

Nicole opened her fridge, hoping to find something that could still her queasy stomach. As she reached inside to check the expiry date of a tub of greek yoghurt, she caught sight of the calendar on the wall, illuminated only by the dim light coming from the refrigerator. She froze.

Today's date was circled in red, with a little note that read  _ ‘20 weeks pregnant’ _ . 

Waverly was halfway. In three weeks, her baby would be viable outside the uterus. 

A pang of guilt shot through Nicole as she stared at the words. She wondered how Waverly felt - if she was alright, or if she was starting to have back pain. Maybe her feet were swollen after a long day, and no one was there to rub them. Maybe Waverly had started to feel the life that grew inside of her, feeling those tiny baby feet kicking her from within. Waverly had been so excited when she'd recited what the doctor had said, that she should expect to feel movement before week 20, and now here they were. Maybe the baby was kicking and moving around and thriving in his snug little place in the womb. 

Nicole's hand fell to her side. Maybe all of those major things were happening and she wasn't part of it. 

\---

All of those major things  _ were _ in fact happening, right on the outskirts of town. 

Waverly lay on her side on the couch, with her palm against the naked skin of her stomach. The flutters had turned into solid movement over the past few days, and now Waverly was certain that it had been the feeling of an active baby boy all along, stretching and testing the strength of his limbs for the first time. 

He kicked again, right under her palm, and she could feel her chest swell with love. 

This was something else. She hadn't exactly been naive about her pregnancy - her body had undergone a significant change, after all, and she’d seen the fetus on her ultrasounds - but feeling how the baby made somersaults and karate kicks and complicated gymnastic tricks, that was really something else. 

She felt it best in the evenings, she had found, when she was lying quietly in bed. In those moments it felt as though the two of them were the only people in the world, and she could feel her heart growing two sizes with every acrobatic turn he made. It was also in those moments that she felt incredibly lonely. 

Gus called every day, and Waverly answered politely that, "Yes, I’m doing okay", and, "Yes, I'm getting enough sleep", but of course it was all a lie. One that Gus easily saw through, but always let pass without argument. Waverly usually felt even shittier when they hung up the phone. 

No, Waverly felt more alone than ever, even though she was ironically never  _ really _ alone. She had her baby, and there was a lot of comfort in his company, but there was no one to share  _ him _ with. 

Wynonna and Waverly were still not on speaking terms. It wasn't so much an ongoing quarrel anymore. Instead, the whole thing had turned into stubborn principle. Neither of them wanted to be the first one to bury the hatchet, even though Waverly almost couldn't remember why they had argued in the first place. 

Her mind went to Nicole again, for the umpteenth time that day. The shitty thing was, Waverly really missed her. There hadn't been any texts from her since yesterday, and Waverly was starting to worry. She knew it was stupid, because Nicole had written clearly in her last email that she would give Waverly some space. Waverly had been glad at first, or rather relieved for not getting those constant reminders about Nicole, but it wasn't as if she suddenly just forgot about her without the texts. In fact, she had almost started to miss them. 

And now the baby was moving, and there was no one to share it with. Waverly pressed her fingers to where she could feel another movement - a foot or a tiny little hand? 

For weeks, Waverly had thought about this moment. The first kicks and punches of her unborn baby, the soccer player to be, and Nicole Haught resting her hand on Waverly's stomach, chasing the movements wherever Waverly directed her fingers. Nicole's eyes would be filled with so much adoration and love, with the promise of a lifetime of happiness. Waverly didn't know how she knew it so clearly, but the picture of their entwined futures had somehow been there for many weeks without her conscious knowledge. 

But now it wasn't so. Nicole was nowhere to be seen, and Waverly was filled with grief instead of joy. 

Again she wondered how Nicole could have lied to her for so long. It was unfair. Evil.  _ Mean _ . It felt as though Nicole had cheated on her with Shae, even though Waverly’s rational mind didn’t believe that for any second. She hadn’t  _ cheated  _ cheated, but Nicole  _ had  _ cheated on Waverly with the memory of a wedding, and the possibility of a marriage that never gained its full potential. 

The image of Nicole in a wedding dress, or maybe a handsome suit, made Waverly’s jealousy flare up.  _ She  _ wanted to be standing there, at the altar, smiling and kissing Nicole because it was the best day of  _ their  _ lives, but no. It was a wedding that  _ Shae  _ got to cherish, and not Waverly. She knew it was a stupid, selfish thought, and it would have probably never happened anyway, but it still hurt. 

Waverly choked on her sob, feeling the sadness eb through her once more. There had been so many waves of sorrow these last days that she almost couldn't believe how she still managed to put on a brave face at school every day. She spent every inch of energy presenting that perfect mask, and then proceeded to crash completely as soon as she got home. 

The front door opened, and Waverly pressed her hand to her face to muffle her sobs. 

"Waverly?" came Wynonna's cautious voice from the hallway. 

It only made everything worse. Waverly cried loudly now, and turned her body to hide her face from view. 

Wynonna came quickly then, and sat on the floor next to Waverly. "Oh, baby girl, I'm so sorry."

She pressed her lips to Waverly's shoulder, and hugged her as much as she could in this position. 

Waverly wanted to say she was sorry too, and ask for her sister's forgiveness, but there were no coherent sounds coming from her mouth. Instead they wept in unison. 

Her baby had been still for a while, but as Waverly's sobs died down, she noticed that feeling again. 

She turned slightly and grabbed for her sister's hand. "Wynonna, here," she said with her thick, groggy voice, and placed Wynonna's hand on her stomach. "Feel."

Wynonna looked at her in confusion for a half second before realization dawned on her. She eagerly pressed her fingers against Waverly's skin and scrunched up her face in concentration. 

"There, feel that?" Waverly whispered when he moved again. 

Wynonna shook her head, her eyes pushed tightly shut as if that made her fingers more sensitive.

They sat completely still for a while, Wynonna’s hand probing gently at her sister’s stomach, and Waverly willing her baby to kick again. When the three of them had been quiet for several minutes without any more fetal movements, Waverly gave up. 

She put her hand on top of Wynonna's hand and squeezed softly. "Wy, I'm sorry for shutting you out."

Wynonna nodded. "I know, baby girl." She sighed. "And I'm sorry for saying… You know…"

Waverly remembered. 

_ “If you keep pushing people away like that, there won’t be anyone left to deal with you and your kid.” _

She swallowed. "You were right." 

Wynonna shook her head. "It was mean."

Waverly smiled and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. "Heat of the moment, right?" 

"Right." 

Wynonna returned the smile and leaned forward to kiss Waverly's forehead. When she sat back again, her face suddenly turned serious. 

"But, baby girl, can you please, please promise me that you'll come to Peacemaker tomorrow? Doc's been on my shit about it for  _ days _ . He’s been nagging about some kind of veggie snack of whatever."

Waverly laughed, feeling another well of emotions bubble up in her chest. 

"I promise." 

\---

Nicole found herself waiting outside Waverly’s school on Thursday afternoon

There had been nothing but radio silence from Waverly the entire week, and Nicole was tired of waiting. The notice in her calendar had been the final drop. Nicole would at least  _ offer  _ to take care of her pregnant girlfriend (was she still her girlfriend?), even if the sight of Waverly might kill her. 

She had given Waverly time, Nicole argued in her mind as she glanced at her watch again. 

_ Only ten minutes to go. _

Maybe she was ready to talk now.

She had practiced her speech three times this morning, explaining her marriage in great detail to her cup of coffee and a sleeping ginger cat rolled up into a purring pretzel. She was ready. 

As soon as Nicole's watch showed three o'clock, she could hear the bell ring, and students started pouring out through the double doors. Nicole recognized Robin and Chrissy, Waverly's friends, but Waverly herself didn't appear until quite a bit later. 

She was walking with Jeremy who was talking excitedly. Waverly herself was quiet. She kept staring at the ground as she walked, the crease between her eyebrows visible. Her coat was closed around her stomach, but Nicole could see the way it bulged underneath the zipper in the front. She looked beautiful.

Nicole pushed herself from her position against the empty bike shed. Waverly didn't see her yet, but she would walk past her any second now. 

It was Jeremy who noticed her first. He stopped walking immediately, pointed at Nicole and mumbled something to Waverly. 

She looked up quickly with sudden fright washing over her face, mixing in with the obvious fatigue in her eyes.

Nicole raised her arm slightly, in an awkward wave, but she regretted it halfway up and quickly let it fall back to her side. She tried to smile instead, but Waverly didn't return it. 

"Waverly," Nicole said when she was close enough to hear. 

Waverly shook her head and averted her eyes. They glimmered with emotion. Jeremy looked uncertain as Waverly quickened her step. He glanced apologetically at Nicole and shrugged his shoulders. 

"Waverly," Nicole said again, louder this time. Other students were walking past them, talking loudly and laughing. 

Nicole stepped closer, blocking Waverly’s path, and reached out a hand. Waverly froze. 

"Waverly, can we talk? I want to explain." She said it with a low voice so that only they could hear it.

Waverly didn't look up and she didn't move. Jeremy shuffled nervously from foot to foot, glancing between the two of them. 

"Wave, please…" It was almost a whisper.

"No."

Waverly's voice was harsh. She looked up finally, and there was an edge to her that hadn't been there before. 

Nicole swallowed. "If I could just -" 

"You lied. Nothing can change that."

"But Waverly -" 

She tried to step closer, but Waverly backed away. 

"Please stay away from me, Nicole," she whispered with a choked voice. 

She blinked a few times, and Nicole could see the tears that threatened to spill, before Waverly looked away defiantly. 

"Go away." 

She hid her face by turning slightly towards the gym building. Jeremy stood by her side, looking between the two of them with no clue as to what was going on. 

"Please." 

That last word from Waverly was low, almost inaudible. It sounded like a prayer, as if Waverly could truly not handle Nicole's presence. 

Nicole nodded. "Okay."

She backed away a few steps before turning around. 

As soon as she was off the school property, Nicole started running, and she didn't stop until her lungs burned so painfully that it overshadowed the ache of her heart. She didn't notice the tears on her cheeks before she came falling in through the door of her apartment and she stood heaving in front of the mirror of her bathroom. 

She looked awful. Her face was simultaneously pale and an angry red, and her skin was glistening with a thin layer of gross sweat. The white of her eyes were bloodshot and the brown looked dull and drained of life. 

Nicole plucked at her hair. The terrible long hair that she loathed so much. She hadn't bothered to braid it these last days because her fingers were trembling too much. Instead it hung in thick messy tresses down her shoulders.

It was the hair her mother had wanted for her, and Nicole  _ hated _ it. 

She opened the drawer under the sink and grabbed blindly through the cluttered contents until she found what she needed. There, scissors. 

With shaking hands and tears streaming silently down her face, Nicole grabbed a fistful of hair and started cutting it away, piece by piece. 

\---

Doc was waiting for Waverly in the school parking lot, just as Wynonna had promised. He was drumming his fingers on the steering wheel of the cherry red Chevrolet he fondly called Charlene, when Waverly opened the door. He looked at her with a huge smile, but it quickly faltered when he saw her face. 

Waverly sagged down in the leather seat, her lips trembling and her eyes once again filled with tears. She looked up at Doc, and immediately broke down into violent sobs.

He gathered her up in his arms, awkwardly because they were in a car and the stick shift was pressing hard into the side of his thigh, and stroked her wavy hair where it flowed over her back. He smelled like whiskey and burnt coffee, and the smell made her sick to her stomach.

She was choking out unintelligible words in between her sobs, muffled against his chest, and even Waverly didn’t know what she was trying to convey.

“There, there,” Doc repeated with his calm voice against the crown of her head. “There, there.”

He found a clean handkerchief in the pocket of his long wool coat, and gave it to Waverly, who pressed it against her nose and eyes, still in Doc’s tight embrace. 

“Are you alright, Waverly?” Doc asked once the violent shaking had stopped, and Waverly sat back in her seat to blow her nose. 

She managed to choke out a teary eyed laugh at that, because she was so obviously  _ not  _ alright. 

“A silly question,” Doc smiled, making his mustache twitch.

Waverly wiped her puffy eyes and her cheeks, and crumpled the handkerchief in her hand. Yesterday, on the couch with Wynonna, Waverly had thought that maybe it was time to face Nicole again, but now, when she was suddenly just  _ there _ , her anger had come flowing back like a tsunami.

“Are you sure you want me to drive you to the bar?” asked Doc cautiously.

Waverly nodded. “Yes. I promised Wynonna.”

“I am sure your sister will understand, Waverly.”

“No. I wanna go. It’ll be good.” She had to continue her life sometime,  _ might as well be today _ .

Doc nodded. He patted Waverly’s knee and gave her another sympathetic smile before turning the ignition.

Waverly was quiet in her seat, still processing the sudden appearance of Nicole Haught. She hadn’t looked well, she thought now. Nicole had looked unkempt, with her wild hair and the dark circles under her eyes. She was also very clearly a broken woman, full of regrets. The knot in Waverly’s chest tightened, and she could feel the guilt from her rejection washing through her.

When they were nearly there, Doc cleared his throat and asked his clever question. “Is everything alright with miss Haught?”

He was looking straight ahead, peering out onto the road, leaving Waverly space to compose her face before answering. Once again, Doc saw right through her, and for some reason that made Waverly trust him more.

“She’s married.”

She hadn’t spoken to anyone about it. Not even to the few people in her life who knew about Nicole.

Doc seemed unfazed. “I have seen the way she looks at you, Waverly. Nothing but love in those eyes.”

Waverly swallowed, letting his words settle. He was right, she realized. Her mind’s image of Nicole had been skewed and wretched this last few weeks, and now, when she had seen her again, Waverly knew that it was all wrong. Because Nicole was a caring person, and she cared for Waverly the most. 

“I just feel like I don’t know her anymore, you know?” she said slowly. “It’s just so unlike her to be dishonest. I don’t know…”

Doc remained quiet for a bit, watching the car in front of them navigate clumsily through the roundabout. “I always liked miss Haught. I will not pretend to know her very well, because I do not.” He glanced quickly at Waverly, and then settled his eyes on the bumper of the car in front of them again. “But I do know this, Waverly. Nicole Haught is loyal and kind, and she stands up for what is right. I do not think that has changed.”

Waverly swallowed, feeling her eyes well up again. 

The other car finally took a turn, leaving Charlene alone on the street. 

“Did you give her a chance to tell her tale?” Doc asked.

Waverly didn’t answer, because she hadn’t, and it made her feel guilty again. She had ignored every attempt Nicole had made to explain herself. It wasn’t as if Waverly  _ wasn’t  _ curious about Shae and their whole situation. She wondered every day about Nicole’s reasons for not telling her about it sooner. It was a constant struggle, because she missed her so much, but Waverly was gonna have a  _ child  _ now, and she couldn’t surround herself with  _ liars _ . She felt like she couldn’t justify letting Nicole back into her life. 

Nicole didn’t deserve her time. She  _ didn’t _ . 

But maybe  _ Waverly  _ deserved the truth. Maybe Waverly deserved closure. 

“Waverly,” Doc drawled, hauling Waverly back to the present. “It seems you are having a hard time with this…” He gestured vaguely. “ _ Situation _ . Is there anything I can do to help?”

He steered his Chevy onto the parking lot and parked Charlene in his usual spot. He turned to look at her, patient to hear her answer. Waverly stared at her lap, evading Doc’s piercing blue eyes.

Finally, she sighed, and said in a low voice, “I need to talk to her.”

He nodded. “I agree.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all of this angst that I'm putting you through! (Well, not sorry, really, but you know...) These last three chapters were originally only one chapter, but I stretched it out to include mooooore angst, and I'm honestly quite pleased with it.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another late posting, sorry about that!
> 
> Awesome beta: @jorekbyrnison 
> 
> Also: delmacgirl pointed out that Nicole in this fic chopped off her hair the exact same day that Kat Barrell posted a picture of her short hair. How cool is that lucky coincidence?

Waverly stared at the brass numbers on the door. She'd been standing there for at least a minute, maybe longer, wondering if this was the right thing to do. Ranging from anger to grief to terrible longing, Waverly had gone through a broad array of emotions over the past week. Chrissy had suggested in PE yesterday that Waverly was going through the seven stages of grief. It had merely earned her a scowl.

As she stood in the deserted hallway, Waverly felt tired and nauseous, and very sick of not knowing. 

Her conversation with Doc had brought up an unwelcome feeling of guilt, but also some clarity as to what she should do. The truth was, Waverly didn’t want this to be the end of them, because even though she was still very hurt by the lies, she knew, with every fiber of her body, that she would never forgive herself if she didn’t at least give them a chance. 

Now it was her turn to stretch out an offering hand.

With another deep breath, Waverly raised her hand and knocked twice on the door. 

Ever the coward, she almost regretted the decision and considered for a split second if she should be running away, but then the door opened. 

Nicole looked like shit. There were dark shadows underneath her eyes and her skin was paler than usual. It almost looked like she'd gotten skinnier since Waverly had last seen her. She was wearing a grey hoodie and worn pyjama pants with the baggy contour of knees. A black beanie was drawn down to her eyebrows, hiding away her red hair.

Waverly knew she wasn’t any better. She’d noticed in the mirror this morning how her wavy hair was all messed up and her face looked grey and dull, but she couldn’t get herself to care about her appearance. Not now.

They looked at each other for a while, both of them taking in the poor sight of the other. Eventually Nicole swallowed and stepped aside to allow Waverly inside. They didn't speak a word. 

Waverly ducked her head as she passed Nicole. Somehow the familiar smell of cinnamon was stronger than she remembered. She carefully sat down on the edge of the couch, next to an empty, crumpled up bag of potato chips. She looked around, taking in the mess of empty glasses and a half-eaten bowl of cereal on the table. There was an overturned bottle of gin on the floor and she could see orange specks of Dorito crumbs all around her. 

Waverly had been here so many times. She'd shared laughs and love and food on this very couch, along with her deepest concerns about motherhood. Nicole had taken it all in and held her close through every emotion Waverly offered. They’d shared other stuff too. If she closed her eyes she could still feel the weight of Nicole’s body pushing her down into the cushions, with the warmth of her mouth enveloping her own. Now, the blue fabric felt foreign and coarse. 

Nicole was still lingering by the door. She looked uncertain, and her eyes moved nervously from Waverly's grasped hands to the kitchen and back. 

Finally, she spoke. "I’ve got coffee? Or do you want tea? I, uh… There’s green tea?” Her voice was hoarse and weak, as if it hadn't been used for a while. 

Nicole started fumbling with the kitchen cupboard, pulling out cups and packs of green tea that had been untouched since Waverly had been here last.

Waverly shook her head. "Uh, no. Thanks. Coffee kinda makes me nauseous now."

Nicole looked at her, surprised. She couldn't have known, of course not. It was a new thing, another development in the course of Waverly's pregnancy. Waverly had only discovered it two days ago, when Doc had hugged her tightly, reeking of burnt coffee. It was new, and unexpected, but it still stung because Nicole was usually the first to hear about these things, even before Wynonna. 

"Maybe just water?" Waverly asked quietly. 

Nicole nodded and went to fill up two glasses with tap water. She placed them on the table, on either side of the abandoned bowl of cereal. It had clearly been there a while, because the corn flakes that had once been sugary and crispy had swollen up into an unrecognizable, soggy mush. It made Waverly’s stomach turn.

Nicole must have seen it, because she quickly gathered up the nauseating bowl, the empty glasses that still smelled of gin and the crumpled up Doritos bag, and put it all away in the kitchen. Waverly could hear the sink running as Nicole carefully washed her hands, and then she returned and sat down on the pouf on the other side of the coffee table, opposite from Waverly. 

Waverly reached for her glass and took a sip, feeling the cool liquid wash down her throat. She clutched the glass tightly, letting it ground her. 

Nicole was waiting patiently. She looked nervous, almost afraid, and her eyes were looking everywhere but at the girl in front of her. Waverly realized that maybe Nicole had given up. Maybe she thought this was it. Budding relationship over. Waverly out.

Waverly swallowed. "Nicole…" 

She wanted to say something, to ask the first of many questions that had brought her here in the first place, but she couldn't get past her name. It felt so fragile, as if it would shatter into a million tiny pieces if she said it too loudly. 

She tried again. "Nicole. I wa- Can you, I mean…" Her voice faltered once more. She looked down at the glass in her hands. She could see the way her knuckles were white where she pressed them against the cold glass. It didn't prevent her fingers from trembling. 

Why was this so hard? Waverly wasn't even the one who had to explain herself. 

She swallowed one last time. This time she spoke clearly. "Why did you lie?" 

Nicole looked as if she had been shot, and it was Waverly who was wielding the shotgun. Her eyes glazed over until they were unseeing. She took a shaky breath, her lips trembling violently. Waverly had never seen her so vulnerable. 

Nicole’s bottom lip kept on quivering no matter how many deep breaths she took to try and control herself. Eventually she just had to start talking, frail voice and all. 

"I don't… know," she said, and swallowed down a large gulp of air. "I just… Waverly, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to…" 

She broke down in tears. Nicole buried her face in her shaking hands. Waverly could hear the muffled howls and snotty sniffs, and it took all the strength she had to not go over there and hold Nicole against her, telling her it was all going to be okay. Because it wasn't okay. Waverly wanted answers. 

She waited until the sniffles had stopped before asking again. "Why did you lie to me? About her?" She hadn't noticed her own tears until now. Her entire jaw was trembling, the tiny shock waves reverberating up to her cheeks and nose. She quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She didn’t want to show her own sorrow, only her anger and determination.

Nicole looked up, instantly seeing past every defence Waverly had built. Even with all the hurt Nicole was carrying, she still managed to look heartbroken for the tears on Waverly’s cheeks. 

“Oh, Waverly,” she croaked, almost inaudible.

Just then a soft ‘meow’ sounded somewhere to the right of Waverly’s ankles, and an honest to God cat appeared from underneath Nicole’s couch. Waverly screeched in surprise and hauled her feet up from the floor, forgetting all of her anger and tears for a second.

“Nicole, there’s a cat,” she blubbered frantically and pointed toward the animal in question. Had she gone crazy and started hallucinating?

Incredibly, Nicole’s only reaction to the sudden appearance was a watery chuckle, and Waverly was left watching in astonishment as the ginger cat padded to Nicole and leapt up to lie down on her lap. It settled into a neat ball of orange fluff, not far from Nicole’s own hair color that she was still hiding underneath that beanie, and stared at Waverly with lazy, accusatory eyes. 

“It’s just CJ,” Nicole said, as if that explained anything at all. She started petting the animal softly. The cat, CJ, immediately started purring.

“CJ?!” Waverly yelped, still completely dumbfounded. There was a frickin’ cat on Nicole’s lap, and it looked like they knew each other?

“Yeah, I had to name her something. It’s short for Calamity Jane.”

Waverly gaped at her. “Calamity Jane?”

Nicole nodded, amusement evident on her lips. “She was the -”

“I know who Calamity Jane was,” Waverly hissed. “But- There’s a cat!” She pointed again.

“I found her by the dumpsters, you know, behind the shop on the corner?”

Waverly nodded quickly, indicating that she better get on with her explanation.

“And, uh, she looked kinda, I dunno. Abandoned? Dirty and scruffy and, well.” Nicole gestured to the cat, who was still very thin underneath all of that fur. “And I, uh… Well, I couldn’t leave her there. So I took her home and gave her food, and, uh…”

Nicole scratched the back of her neck awkwardly.

“Doesn’t anyone own her?” Waverly asked incredulously.

“I made flyers,” Nicole said quickly. “Hung them up all around the neighbourhood and campus and everything. All the way down to Peacemaker and Hetty’s. But no one’s come to claim her, so…”

“So you’re gonna keep her?”

Nicole shrugged. “I, uh, haven’t decided.”

Waverly blinked a few times, trying to process everything. The cat kept purring as Nicole continued to scratch her behind the ears. It took a moment to remember why she was even here. It seemed like the realization hit Nicole at the same time as Waverly’s mind returned to the more pressing topic.

Nicole’s marriage.

“Anyway, uhm…” Waverly cleared her throat and shook her head a bit, trying to find her way back to the questions she had prepared. She took a deep breath. "I asked you if you were married and you said no.” 

Nicole looked down at the cat, doing her best to hide the shame on her face.

Waverly raised her voice a little before she continued. “You said it was a stupid joke, but it wasn't."

Her anger was seeping through, Nicole's betrayal coating every word she spoke. 

Nicole looked up. "It was a joke. It is," she insisted. 

Waverly shook her head, fresh tears again threatening to spill down her cheeks. Her voice was rough when she spoke again. "It's real, Nicole. You're married and you lied to me." 

She spoke the words very slowly, very clearly, with her teeth clamped together and her nostrils wide. Her whole body was leaning forward, accusing Nicole of her crimes. 

"I know,“ Nicole said weakly, nodding in confirmation. Her cheeks were drained of all color, and her hand had stopped petting the cat, instead resting still in the thick fur. "I wanted to tell you. For so long. But I- I didn't."

Waverly huffed. She knew that already. 

"But I- I wanted to," Nicole stammered. Her eyes were begging Waverly to understand. "I wanted to tell you when you made dinner that time. Risotto. And I brought the crap wine. You reme-?" 

Waverly closed her eyes. Of course she remembered. It was supposed to be a perfect date. Waverly was gonna confess her feelings on the front porch and they were gonna kiss and it would be great. Instead everything went to shit.

Nicole swallowed. "Right. I wanted to tell you then. Because. Well. I wanted to- to kiss you. But I wanted to tell you before we did anything, because… You should know..." 

She cast her eyes down again, like a wounded puppy. The cat meowed softly once again, probably to remind Nicole to get on with the petting, but they both ignored it. The little beast was very distracting.

"Why didn't you?" Waverly asked. Her voice was rough now. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Nicole looked at her as if the answer was obvious. "You- Well, I, uh… Wynonna was there, first. And then, when we were outside, you said all of these things, and I was hurt, and I thought I would never get to kiss you anyway, and then… Well…"

Waverly remembered the defeated look on Nicole's face when she'd explained it all away, and also how disappointed she was with herself for blaming everything on the pregnancy. 

She swallowed. "But you had other chances…" 

"I know." Nicole nodded vigorously as if she was just coming to that now. "I had it all planned out, everything I wanted to say. But then you kissed me, and that was all I could think about. I mean, I was so happy. And you were happy. And I- I just wanted us to be happy, together, for a bit. Before I…"

She glanced hopefully at Waverly, but there was no response. They both knew there were still more chances. 

Nicole fast-forwarded, speaking in rapid tempo. "And then, last week, when you had spring break, I told myself that I had to tell you before the end of the week. And I was gonna. I wanted to tell you in private, here." She gestured to where they were sitting. "But then, my mom…" Nicole trailed off, gulping heavily at the mention of her mother. 

Waverly studied her face. She looked like she meant every word, that she had really postponed the inevitable confession to keep from breaking Waverly’s heart. She also remembered how weird Nicole had suddenly been last Friday, on their way to her apartment right before the appearance of her mother. Waverly had kissed her, down in the hallway, and told her it would all be okay, but then Jackie had been there and everything had changed. 

She sighed. Nicole was nothing if not sincere, she knew that, deep down. And yet, Nicole had managed to lie about this huge thing multiple times. 

"You should have told me earlier," Waverly said. "I asked you, directly, a long time ago, Why did Shae call you 'wifey', and you told me it was a nickname."

Nicole nodded, again confirming her own stupidity. "I don't know why I said it. It just kinda happened. I think- You had all of these problems with Champ and the baby, and- I didn't want to- I wanted to tell you that you could trust me. That you were safe, with me." 

Waverly raised an eyebrow. "Kinda counterintuitive, don't you think?" 

"Yeah…" 

They were silent for a while, and Nicole used the opportunity to grab her glass. She took a sip, letting the water twirl around in her mouth for a bit before swallowing it down. Waverly watched her, the way she evaded Waverly’s gaze and put the glass back onto the coffee table with a soft ‘clink’.

“It's not like you lied about your favorite color being yellow, when it so clearly is blue.” Waverly gestured around the room, at all the different shades of blue, before letting her hands fall back in her lap. “This is a marriage, Nicole, and you didn't tell me.”

Waverly wanted more. There had to be more to this conversation than just stupidity and 'wanting to make Waverly happy'. Apparently Nicole understood as much. 

"I had a whole speech prepared," she told Waverly. 

Waverly studied her like she was debating on whether she would rule ‘guilty’ or not. Nicole looked very much caught in the spotlight. With a nervous hand she reached up to scratch at her temple. The itch apparently moved further up, into her beanie-covered hair, because Nicole followed the trail with her long fingers, scratching her scalp with her nails and pushing at the beanie until she removed the hat altogether. Waverly gave a short gasp as Nicole raked her fingers through the unwashed hair, now exposed to the light.

“You cut your hair,” Waverly said, shocked. Was there no end to the abrupt surprises?

The braid was gone. Instead there was a mess of short fiery hair without any particular shape. Some bits were longer, almost reaching down to her shoulders, and some were shorter, going only to the lobes of her ears. Waverly could see clearly where Nicole had furiously chopped away at it.

Waverly’s eyes darted from the home-cut hairdo back to Nicole’s face. 

“I needed it to change,” she explained helplessly. 

Waverly nodded slowly. She had loved Nicole’s long hair and the braid, but the desperation was so clear in everything Nicole said and did that it wasn’t unthinkable that she had put the scissors to her hair, cutting away a part of herself.

Waverly gulped before refocusing on their conversation. "Say it."

Nicole looked at her, confused. "What?" 

"Your speech. What did you want to say?" 

Nicole looked uncertain. It was all wrong now. The speech seemed unnecessary. 

"I want to hear it. This is your chance," said Waverly, implying that this might indeed be her only chance. 

Nicole nodded. 

She gathered her thoughts for a bit, preparing the practiced words of her wrongdoings. She combed her unkempt hair again with her fingers to no success, and then fisted her hand into CJ’s messy fur. With a deep breath she looked up, staring Waverly straight in the eye. 

"Waverly," she started. "I need to tell you… Something. About me. Because, well." 

She was clearly doing the entire speech, the way she had originally wanted to say it, Waverly thought, almost amused. She knew bits and pieces of the tale now, but maybe it was easier for Nicole to say it like this. Like she’d practiced. 

A deep sigh. "I haven't really been honest to you. About Shae. But don't worry -" Nicole held up her hands in mock defence. "We're not still together or anything. She's only my friend and nothing more. But she and I, we're-" A shy twitch in the corner of her mouth. "We're married." 

She looked Waverly square in the eye. The dramatic reveal didn’t really have the flair she had probably imagined, but it seemed like she was trying to own up to it now, even though everything that had passed had been a whole ride of shit. Even if it might already be too late.

Waverly waited for her to continue.

"We, uh, got married in Vegas. After Britney Live. We were there with the Rock Climbing Society. We'd been together for three months, and we were super drunk. I hated myself for following my mom's wishes, and she was kinda jazzed up with this whole college experience. So we just went for it. We were stupid and high on being in love.” 

Waverly winced, and Nicole noticed it. She quickly continued. 

“We had a terrible relationship even before that, so it was a really dumb decision, but we didn't care 'cause we were young and wild and free..."

She took another short break to allow Waverly to react to any of it, but she just crossed her arms. 

Nicole continued. "It was a terrible decision. Absolute trash, just really, really dumb.” She shook her head, emphasising how stupid she’d been at the time. “Our relationship sucked. We were fighting all the time and we just worked very differently. She was all ambitious about being a doctor and everything, and I just didn’t care about any of it, and I think that was really hard for her. But we had to kind of try to make it work since we were married and had the rings and all.” 

Waverly raised her eyebrows. There were rings?

Nicole hurried on. “We both knew it was doomed. I eventually caught Shae making out with some chick at a party, and I was glad. Because now we didn't have to pretend anymore. We could just break up and pretend that it had never happened. We stayed friends after, and that worked much better. We're just too good at roasting each other's asses…" 

Nicole smirked at the half-joke, but Waverly didn't find it amusing. 

"Anyway," she said quickly. "We wanted to get a divorce, but it's really expensive, and it didn't really matter if we stayed married for a bit. It didn't hurt anyone…" Until now. "I asked my parents to cover the fee, but they refused. And now…” 

There was something in her voice that Waverly didn’t understand, but before she could ask, Nicole was talking again, massaging her fingers absentmindedly through CJ’s fur as she did.

”They, uh. They wanted us to stay married. Something about bringing shame over the good Haught-name or some shit. I think they just really thought it fit the picture. You know, me, a lawyer, with a doctor for a wife." She shrugged, again with that sadness in her eyes. Nicole sighed and looked up. "So in conclusion, we just stayed married because it was convenient, and Shae kept calling me 'wifey' ‘cause she thought it was funny, and I'm sorry." 

Nicole leaned forward, stretching out a hopeful hand across the table. CJ looked annoyed for the sudden shift of Nicole’s thighs. 

"I really, really care about you,” Nicole said. “A lot. More than I ever thought I would. And I should have told you sooner. And if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you..."

The words lingered in the air along with her outstretched fingers. Waverly didn't take the hand. Instead she studied Nicole's face. It was all out there now. The explanation she had demanded. Some of it made sense, but most of it just sounded really stupid. 

"It's a crap speech," she said after a minute. 

Nicole retracted her hand, looking defeated once again. This time there was no lingering sliver of hope. 

Waverly shook her head slowly. She still felt so betrayed. Nicole had always seemed loyal, just like Doc had said, and none of this really made any sense. “I sort of get the whole marriage thing,” she said, and quickly added, “Although it’s still really stupid.” 

Nicole quickly nodded in agreement. 

“And I understand that there’s nothing between you and Shae now… But, what I still don’t get is why you didn’t tell me. Why did you lie about it, for so long? Even when I asked you about it.”

Nicole’s eyes drooped down to her lap again. It didn’t look like she noticed how the cat was trying to get her attention, rubbing the side of her head against Nicole’s knee. 

“I -” She swallowed. “I forgot at first. And I know that sounds really plausible,” she added before Waverly could say anything. 

Waverly thought that maybe she was joking, but Nicole looked totally sincere when she continued. 

“But I did. Forget. ‘Cause it’s not really something I think about every day. And then later, I just, I dunno… I knew that it would push you away, and I didn’t want that. And I knew that the longer I waited, the more upset you would be, but I just… It was hard. To say it.”

They sat in silence for a long time, only interrupted by the loud purring of the cat. Nicole didn’t look at Waverly, but Waverly looked at Nicole. Even with the uneven haircut, she still looked beautiful, and Waverly could feel that familiar thumping in her chest that she had gotten so many times before, by just looking at Nicole. She had missed her so much. 

Waverly wanted to forgive her, she knew that. She wanted to forget all of this and move on, but it felt like that would just prove her own weakness.

She sighed. "You should have told me. A long time ago." 

Nicole nodded, her eyes fixed on a dent in the table between them. 

"I told you everything about me,” Waverly said. “About the pregnancy, and Champ and Steph and Purgatory, and everything." 

Nicole nodded again, letting Waverly's accusations wash over her. She looked as if she'd been slapped in the face, or kicked repeatedly while she was already lying on the ground, broken and battered and bruised. She looked like she’d lost the courage to ever rise to her feet again. 

Waverly crooked her head, trying to catch Nicole's eye, but she kept looking hazily at the table. 

"Nicole…"

Nicole blinked a few times before looking up. Her eyes were dry now, forever out of tears. Her apprehensive gaze landed on Waverly's left ear instead of meeting her eyes.

Waverly talked again. "We need to be honest with each other. You need to tell me about your skeletons. And I need to tell you about mine."

Nicole’s eyebrow twitched slightly, but she still didn't dare to meet Waverly’s steady gaze. 

"I can't deal with anymore wives, alright? If there are any more of them you need to tell me now.” Waverly took a trembling breath. “'Cause I need you."

Finally, Nicole looked at her. As the meaning behind Waverly’s words dawned on her, the dull brown of her eyes started to warm up. The intricate notes of caramel reappeared in the irises of her eyes, from where they had been missing for some time. 

Nicole's breath shuddered as she understood, and finally they saw each other again. Through the windows of their eyes, deep into each other's souls. They saw the fragile trust that needed mending, and they saw the longing for each other’s warmth. The sorrow and the love. 

Waverly did her best to convey all of the feelings she couldn’t speak with words. The dissolving anger and the cautious forgiveness. The 'I need you in my life' and the 'I kinda like you still'. The love and the hurt and the sorrow and the hope, all there for Nicole to see. Because there was no way Nicole was not gonna stay in her life. Waverly didn't know how to say it out loud just yet, but she hoped that Nicole would understand. 

It seemed like she did, because Nicole's gaze told her 'Thank you' and 'I will never do it again' and 'I love you'. Or at least that was how Waverly interpreted the soft look of relief and adoration Nicole was sending her way. 

Waverly swallowed, struggling to find her voice again. "Nicole? Can you put that cat on the floor and come over here and kiss me? And then can we go and get those nori crackers from the shop on the corner? 'Cause I've been really craving them. And later I’ll help you cut your hair, okay?" 

Nicole's eyes were wet again, but this time the tears were a sign of joy and renewed dreams. She nodded slowly, a long-lost smile revealing itself on her lips. 

"Of course," she choked. "Anything you want, baby."

She quickly scooped up the surprised cat and put it gently on the floor, and with a few stumbling steps, Nicole was next to her, and against her, and their lips were touching, and it wasn’t all good just yet, but it was a start. And that was everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's still a lot to say, but at least they have started talking things out.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you wanna share your thoughts, they make me super happy. I'm also on tumblr @zaxagra


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly helps Nicole with her hair and they have several conversations, catching up on everything that happened while they were fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: Thursday will officially be posting day from now on, I think that works out a bit better for me as I have choir practice every Wednesday.
> 
> Thanks as always to my awesome beta @jorekbyrnison for staying on top of every character trait and plot line. You rock!

Nicole sat on a plastic folding chair in her bathroom, with a large towel wrapped around her shoulders. Waverly was behind her, doing her best to restore the damage Nicole had done to her hair. Nicole didn’t really care much about the disaster that was her hair, though. What she cared about was that Waverly was _here_.

Waverly had let her talk, and she’d seemingly accepted her story and her apology. And then she’d kissed her, and now Nicole was so, so happy, but also still so very afraid. 

When she came out of the shower just half an hour ago she had been certain that Waverly would have changed her mind and was gone, but there she was, silently munching on the nori crackers they’d gone out to buy for her. Waverly had smiled questionably at Nicole’s worried frown, and then she’d said “I wasn’t gonna leave”, and Nicole’s heart had leapt again.

And now Waverly’s fingers were softly scratching her scalp while she worked, and it was _heaven_. 

“There,” Waverly said and stepped back. “I don’t think I can do better than this without cutting it really short.”

Nicole opened her eyes with a warm smile. “Thank you.”

Waverly laughed softly. “You haven’t even seen it. Here, look.”

Nicole turned around in her chair to look in the mirror. Her hair was a lot shorter than it had been, ending just below her ears. It was somehow curlier than before, the strains of hair finally living up to their full potential without the weight of their length. Nicole touched it carefully, twirling her hair around her fingers and dragging it out until it coiled back. Waverly had done an amazing job camouflaging Nicole’s erratic scissor work. 

“What do you think?” asked Waverly. 

Nicole looked up, meeting Waverly’s anxious eyes in the mirror. 

“I love it,” Nicole said.

_I love you._

“Are you sure? Because on this side there was a large chunk that was -”

Waverly started fiddling with Nicole’s hair behind her right ear, but Nicole grabbed the hand, bringing it to her lips instead.

“It’s perfect, Waverly. Thank you.”

Waverly looked unsure. “But -”

“It’ll grow out.”

Waverly nodded then, exhaling slowly. It wasn’t _her_ fault that Nicole had gone all apeshit on her hair, and she’d done an incredible effort making sense of the mess. _She_ shouldn't feel guilty about it. 

Nicole looked at her own image again. “Actually, I kinda like it. I wanted to cut it short for a while, and it doesn’t look too bad, right?”

Waverly studied her closely in the mirror, her eyes scanning the way Nicole’s short hair fell in soft waves around her face. She dragged her fingers through it, tucking it behind one ear, and smiled. “You look hot.”

Nicole grinned. “Hah-hah, awesome joke. I'm super duper _Haught_.”

Waverly’s eyes glowed suddenly as she met Nicole’s gaze. “No, I mean it. You look sexy.” Her lips curled into a provocative smirk that made Nicole’s heart skip a beat.

They stared at each other in the mirror for a whole minute, until Nicole swallowed. Her chest was rapidly rising and falling, totally out of her control, and the bathroom suddenly felt very hot. 

“Ehm, I should clean this up,” she stammered and stood up from her chair. The short snippets of cut hair fell from her thighs in a jumbled flurry. 

Waverly was right there, next to Nicole, and she didn’t move from her spot. Instead she turned her head slightly towards her. She peered up at Nicole’s face, only a few inches away. Nicole could feel Waverly’s breath, deep and steady and confident. Her hazel eyes were practically smoldering. 

Nicole’s breath hitched as Waverly started sliding one hand up her arm, and then the other, before she wrapped her arms over Nicole’s shoulders. They were even closer now, Waverly’s pregnant belly pushing against Nicole’s stomach. Something shifted in Waverly’s eyes when she started playing with the freshly cut hair at the back of her neck, and before Nicole could do or say anything, Waverly pulled her head down and kissed her hungrily. Nicole happily answered the kiss, her own hands finding Waverly's waist to hold her steady. She could feel the muscles in Waverly’s flank working as she grasped eagerly at Nicole’s neck, kissing her again and again until they were both breathless. When Waverly started pushing them backwards, against the edge of the sink, Nicole had to collect all of her willpower to end the kiss. 

“Wave,” she breathed. 

Waverly continued kissing her, and was now leaving a wet trail along Nicole’s jaw, with one hand steadily moving to the collar of her cotton t-shirt. 

“Wave, we shouldn’t do this.”

But Waverly’s lips moved further. Nicole’s own uncontrollable breath wasn’t really building a good case, she thought. It only got worse when Waverly’s tongue reached her earlobe. She sucked eagerly, and Nicole could feel her own resolve starting to crumble.

“Waverly.” She closed her eyes, trying very hard to concentrate. Nicole swallowed. “We just had a big fight.”

“So?” Waverly’s breath was warm on her ear and it was all very distracting.

Nicole swallowed, struggling to concentrate on her words. “I thought I lost you.”

“You didn’t.”

Waverly’s fingers probed into Nicole’s neck again, her mouth returning to the angle of her jaw, but Nicole started pulling back. Finally, she managed to take a step away from Waverly, pushing at the chair with the back of her legs. She collected Waverly’s eager hands in her own, holding them securely between them. 

There was still more to tell, and Nicole wanted to have all the facts on the table before they continued. They had taken the first steps towards amendment, and Waverly knew everything about Shae now, but there was still the deal with her parents. It didn’t feel right to continue whatever they were doing without telling Waverly about her oncoming homelessness. 

Waverly looked entirely taken aback where she stood, like someone had just stepped on her favorite toy, squishing it to bits. Her lips were swollen and her neck was covered in a dark flush. Nicole wanted to reach out and caress Waverly’s skin, and had to shake her head to remind herself what she was doing.

She took a deep breath. “I should tell you about what happened after you left.”

Waverly blinked. Nicole could see clearly how Waverly’s brain instantly turned a switch. Her eyes tried to read Nicole’s facial expression, trying to understand the severity of this looming sentence. 

“Of course, baby,” Waverly nodded. Her hands squeezed Nicole’s fingers softly. The flushes on her neck suddenly looked very out of place. 

Waverly was still trying to contemplate what sort of conversation Nicole had to offer. It was evident in her flickering gaze. Would there be another admittance of fault and betrayal, or was this something else? Nicole wanted to comfort her. To tell her that _Waverly_ was safe, and that this was only about herself and her parents, but her tongue felt thick and dry in her mouth, and she couldn't get herself to speak up. 

With a little nod, Waverly seemed to push away the doubt, instead making way to care for her girlfriend. She drew Nicole's hand up to her lips and placed a tiny kiss on her knuckles. “We’ll clean this up and then we’ll sit down and talk, alright?”

Nicole smiled relieved. Waverly’s concern was tangible, and even though Nicole didn’t like seeing her this way, it also meant that Waverly really cared about her.

She reached up to cradle Waverly’s cheek, brushing her thumb over the corner of her mouth in an attempt to lessen the blow, as if to say that it wasn’t really that big of a deal. 

Except it was a big deal. Because Nicole was disowned now, soon to be homeless and broke. It didn't exactly bring security to their relationship or Waverly's child. She swallowed, and did her best to smile through the thundering hurt inside her chest. 

“Why don’t you put on the kettle and we can have tea?” She kissed Waverly’s nose softly, leaning her forehead against Waverly’s frown. 

Waverly nodded. “Okay.”

They kissed once more, softly, before Waverly went out, leaving Nicole alone with the mess of cut hair, pondering about her girlfriend. 

Waverly was amazing. Somehow, in the midst of their heated make-out session, she had recognized Nicole’s need for a conversation. With one look at her face, Waverly had understood that this wasn’t just a small detail about something unimportant, and she made room for Nicole to explain in her own time, setting aside her own needs to do so. 

This communication thing went both ways, Nicole realized. She had to be more honest, and Waverly simultaneously had to _let_ her be honest. They were both working on making things better, and it felt great.

When Nicole came out of the bathroom a minute later, holding a bag of red hair in one hand and the folding chair in the other, Waverly was leaning against the kitchen sink. She was sipping a glass of water, waiting for the kettle to do its job. As soon as she heard the door, she looked up at Nicole and smiled warmly.

“Here, let me help you.”

They quickly got rid of the bag and the chair, and then Waverly wrapped her arms around Nicole and hugged her tightly until the kettle pinged. They silently picked out their mugs and tea bags, standing side by side in the kitchen, and then went to sit on the couch again, ready for another conversation. 

This time was different though, Nicole reflected as she put her cup on a coaster. This time they sat next to each other, knees touching and lips smiling. Most importantly, this time Nicole wasn’t scared shitless about losing Waverly.

“We should probably catch up a bit, right?” Waverly suggested with a soft voice, giving Nicole an opening to start talking. 

Nicole nodded slowly, but didn’t say anything. She was starting to figure out where to start, running through the events of this past week. Waverly leaving, arguing with her mother, talking to Shae, reading the email that left her a homeless orphan, saying goodbye to her dad, getting a cat, cutting her hair. It was quite a lot, Nicole thought. Quite monumental. She had focused so much on Waverly these last few days that the weight of her parents cutting her off hadn’t really settled. She started to realize it just now, and suddenly her hand was shaking.

What if Waverly thought she was stupid to give up on a secure and wealthy future like that? 

Waverly reached for the hand and placed it on her stomach, covering it with her own hand until the shaking subsided somewhat. The feeling of Waverly’s belly under her fingers was strangely calming. Nicole could feel her shoulders relaxing and here breathing evening out.

“He started kicking,” Waverly said suddenly, breaking the silence. 

It was a distraction, Nicole knew that. A diversion to give Nicole a moment of peace before explaining the events that had scarred her. But it was also a _miracle_.

Nicole looked up at Waverly, her eyes searching for confirmation. 

Waverly smiled and pressed slightly against Nicole’s fingers, telling her that _yes, he’s moving in here_.

Nicole’s eyes fell to the bump again, looking and feeling for any sign of movement within.

Waverly chuckled kindly at the sight. “He isn’t kicking now.”

“Oh.” Nicole’s hand went limp with disappointment. 

“I’ll tell you, alright?”

Nicole nodded. 

“Nicole,” Waverly started cautiously, and Nicole knew what the question was gonna be. “What happened with your mom?”

Nicole’s mouth twitched, and Waverly scooched a little closer, so that their thighs and hips were fully touching. 

“She, uh… She left.”

Waverly waited.

Nicole swallowed thickly, but that uneasy feeling in her throat remained. “She was really upset. That I’d given up on my marriage and all that… And she just left. And then she called Shae and told her we should go to a marriage counselor or something.”

Waverly scoffed incredulously. “She really said that?”

“Yeah, I know,” Nicole agreed.” She’s… crazy, I think.”

Waverly squeezed her fingers. “So what happened?”

“Well, Shae apparently told her we were gonna get a divorce, and then she got really mad. And then, uh…”

She shifted in her seat, suddenly scared to admit to Waverly how terrible her parents really were. Not really a set of inlaws to be proud of, she thought somberly. _If we ever get that far._

Waverly tucked her arm around Nicole’s shoulders for support, holding her tightly against her side.

Nicole cleared her throat, but it was still rough when she spoke with a low, almost inaudible voice. “They, uh… They cut me off.”

“They _what_?”

Waverly’s arm went limp for a split second before pulling Nicole hard against her, holding her tighter than ever. The fingers wrapped around Nicole’s bicep were almost painful, and she could see how that strong muscle in Waverly’s jaw contracted powerfully. 

“I’m gonna flippin’ _murder_ them,” Waverly said dangerously under her breath.

Waverly was usually a ray of sunshine, with her smile and wave and her endless kindness. Now she was wrapped around Nicole in what was supposed to be safety and support, but instead it felt a bit like a boa constrictor, hungry for revenge. Nicole was actually a little scared for a second, but then Waverly relaxed her grip, letting Nicole sit up straight again.

“Are you serious?” Waverly asked.

Nicole nodded. “Uh, yeah. They sent me an email explaining that -”

“They sent you an _email_?” Waverly was fuming now.

Nicole swallowed, more in fear of what her girlfriend might do than anything else. She explained quickly. “Yeah, they said that they weren’t gonna support me financially anymore, and that I had to move out of the apartment.”

Waverly stared at her with giant, round eyes. “I can’t believe this. You’re their _daughter_.”

She shook her head and huffed and grumbled, and Nicole decided it was better to just sit quietly and wait for Waverly to calm down.

Suddenly Waverly turned towards her again. “Wait, is this because of me? Because you’re dating a pregnant girl?”

“No.” Nicole quickly shook her head. “No, it’s because of me. Because of the divorce or because I’m quitting law or both.”

Waverly stilled. “You’re quitting law?”

“Uh, yeah. I wanna switch to criminology. I thought I told you?”

Waverly quirked an eyebrow. “Yeah, but I thought you could still go on to study law, even with a degree in criminology.”

Nicole nodded. “Yeah, you can. But I don’t want to.”

Waverly looked at her. Apparently Nicole hadn’t been clear about this part to Waverly either. 

“So what do you want?” Waverly asked slowly.

Nicole smiled. “I don’t know. I just don’t want to be a lawyer. And now my mother knows that too.”

Waverly blinked, calmer now. She grabbed Nicole’s hand again, and Nicole didn’t know if it was supposed to comfort Waverly or herself, because Waverly still looked so very taken aback.

“I can’t believe they cut you off.”

“Me neither.”

For some reason, this moment of chaos and shock was really nice. Waverly’s grand reaction to her parents’ abandonment felt strangely reassuring, proving how Waverly was very clearly on _her_ side. 

It also very much proved that Nicole wasn’t crazy for reacting to her parents the way she did. She had often felt insecure when sharing facts about her family to friends and girlfriends in the past, thinking that maybe it was all in her head and that she should just suck it up. Other people’s parents were demanding too, after all, and the Haughts _had_ provided Nicole with security and financial stability - something that most students didn’t have. But the underlying feeling that Nicole wasn’t really the boss over her own life had always been there, and now Waverly had shown her her how she wasn’t stupid for wanting to be free from that. 

Waverly was silently studying Nicole’s fingers. “Where are you gonna live?”

“I don’t know,” Nicole admitted. She hadn’t started looking for a new place yet, too distracted by everything else. She sighed. “I should probably apply for student housing, and student loans... And a job. Shit.”

There was _a lot_ she had to fix, now that her main concern was dealt with and Waverly was back in her life.

“I can help you,” suggested Waverly.

Nicole looked at her. An image of the two of them checking out the faucets in the bathroom of a potential new home flicked through Nicole’s mind. The feeling was overwhelming. Waverly was really _here_ . For _her_.They were together now, in every aspect. Waverly was gonna help her look for apartments, and everything would work itself out. She was sure of it. 

A single tear ran down her cheek. “Thank you.”

Waverly wiped away the tear with her finger, and then she leaned up and kissed Nicole softly on the lips. Nicole smiled and tugged Waverly against her, feeling the warmth she radiated. They melted against each other, revelling in the comfort they both provided. 

“Oh, wait,” Nicole suddenly said, remembering something. Without further explanation, she stood up from the couch and disappeared to her bedroom. 

When she came back, Waverly was once again waiting patiently on the couch. Nicole sat down next to her, placing the item in her hand on the coffee table next to their mugs. It was her wedding ring. 

Waverly looked at it for a second before picking it up. She held it between her thumb and forefinger and studied it closely. 

“I like it,” she said eventually. “It’s simple.”

Nicole nodded. She remembered going to the jewellery store with Shae. They had such a wide variety of rings in all different metals and designs, with inscriptions and intricate patterns and gemstones in different colors. This was the only ring she and Shae could agree on. “I never liked it,” she confessed. 

Waverly looked at her.

“I mean, the ring is fine. I couldn’t really see myself wearing anything other than a ring like this, honestly. But it always felt wrong.”

Waverly looked at the ring again, slowly brushing her thumb over the polished metal. It still looked brand new. Nicole had put the thing away after two months and had never worn it again.

“Maybe it was just the wrong person,” Waverly said slowly, still eyeing the ring. She looked like she hadn’t really realized what she’d just said.

Nicole could feel the corner of her lip twitching. “Yeah.”

Waverly put the ring back on the table with a small ‘clink’ and turned to Nicole.

“I don’t care about the marriage, Nicole. I know that you and Shae were… _not fit_ for each other.”

Nicole held her breath, waiting for Waverly to continue.

Waverly looked at her. “I was angry because you didn’t tell me.”

“I know.” Nicole bowed her head in remorse.

Waverly took her hand. “I’m gonna have a kid.” 

Nicole nodded, her gaze still pointed towards her lap.

Waverly exhaled slowly. “Everything’s been so crazy up until now, and I’m kinda starting to realize that I need some stability to care for this baby.” 

 _And there’s no stability as long as I am part of it_. 

The words shot through Nicole’s head like lightning. She tried to retract her hand but Waverly grasped it tighter.

The next words she said were pronounced very carefully, very fragile. “Nicole? I know it’s a lot to ask, but I really want you to be a part of it.”

Nicole looked up at once. Waverly wanted Nicole to be part of her life. Part of _their_ life. Waverly and her son. And Nicole. All three of them, together.

Her heart was glowing fiercely and her eyes were filling up. She blinked a few times, fully bewildered by Waverly’s soft request. “I want that too,” she said with a rough voice.

Maybe she could be a mother too. 

Waverly squeezed her hand. She was clearly struggling with keeping her emotions at bay, because when she spoke again, her voice was thick and trembling. “But I don’t know what I’m gonna do if something like this happens again.”

“It will _never_ happen again, Waverly. I promise.” Nicole tucked their connected hands against her chest. “There’s no more to tell. I -” 

Nicole quickly searched her mind for anything that might have been left out. _Shae, her parents, the cat, the ring_. She had told Waverly everything now, every dark or painful or fucked-up secret.

Nicole held Waverly safely against her side, feeling how her body was shaking slightly. “If there is,” she said very slowly, very carefully. “I will tell you immediately, okay? ‘Cause I want to be with you. I- I love you.”

Waverly was crying. Thick tears were streaming slowly from her eyes and melting into the crease by her nose, trickling towards her trembling lips.

Nicole knew it was too early to tell Waverly how she felt. They hadn’t been dating for long, and they’d wasted so much time on this whole wife thing. She knew Waverly wasn’t ready to say the words back, and maybe she wasn’t even ready to hear it from Nicole. But the words were so true, and Nicole couldn’t hold them back anymore. 

Waverly said nothing, and Nicole didn’t expect her too. Instead, they sat holding each other, until Waverly stopped shaking and Nicole’s eyes had dried up. 

Nicole carefully scooched their entangled bodies backwards, tucking herself half-sitting, half-lying, against the siderest with Waverly lying sideways on top of her. Her ear was pressed against Nicole’s chest, over her beating heart. Nicole trailed her fingers over Waverly’s back, eliciting an involuntary shiver from the girl. She smiled and kissed the crown of Waverly’s hair. 

After a while, Waverly opened her mouth. “Are you gonna do a masters in criminology?”

Nicole burst out in laughter. The question was so sincere, and yet so far off from what Nicole deemed important in this moment. She could feel her laughter reverberating through both of their bodies, and it was wonderful. 

“I don’t know, Waves,” she answered after a while. She hugged Waverly closely against her chest. “I just wanna stay here, in Ghost River, with you. And I really like criminology, so I’m gonna start there, but who knows what I’m gonna do afterwards.”

Waverly smiled against her chest, and Nicole could feel how her entire body warmed up at the little gesture. 

“Cool,” was the only thing Waverly said.

They lay in silence again, Waverly rising and falling slowly with Nicole’s breathing. It was a perfect moment. 

Nicole didn't think it could possibly get any _more_ perfect, until Waverly spoke up. “There. He’s kicking.”

She quickly took Nicole’s hand and placed it against the side of her stomach, pressing against the soft skin and muscle. Nicole couldn’t feel anything. 

“Can you feel it?”

Nicole shook her head. 

“How about now?” 

Waverly moved her fingers an inch to the left, but there was still nothing to be felt. 

“No, nothing,” said Nicole.

Waverly sighed in defeat. “Wynonna couldn’t feel it either.”

She kept Nicole’s hand steady against her stomach even though the feeling had clearly passed. Nicole smiled dreamily and pressed her cheek against the top of Waverly’s head. 

“What does it feel like?” she asked. “I mean, you’ve got a _baby_ growing inside of you. Must be strange.”

Waverly thought for a bit before she answered. “It’s like having a flock of large butterflies in my stomach,” she said. “Literally, because it felt like butterflies just now when he moved, but also just… I dunno, nerves? But they’re happy nerves, like when you’re excited for something. Like you gotta do something that’s kinda scary, but then you get a really good reward afterwards.”

Nicole pressed slightly with her fingers against Waverly’s stomach. It had gotten quite big now, and Waverly was very noticeably pregnant. 

“But my body doesn’t really feel like it’s mine anymore,” Waverly continued, reacting to Nicole's gesture. “It’s all weird and big, and I kinda just feel like a giant incubator.”

Nicole hugged her closely. “You’re beautiful.”

Waverly smiled again. She turned her head slightly and planted a kiss on Nicole’s t-shirt, over her sternum. “Betty just went ahead and touched it the other day,” she said suddenly.

“She touched your stomach?”

Waverly nodded. “Yeah, it was really weird.”

“What did you do?”

“I just let her do it. I was so weirded out.”

Nicole huffed in protest.

Waverly’s tone was a bit harsher when she continued. “It’s almost like _anyone_ can touch it now, just because there’s a baby in it. But it’s still _me_ , you know?”

She turned to look at Nicole. Clearly, this had been bugging her quite a bit. 

Nicole nodded. “Yeah.”

“I mean, I like it when _you_ touch it, and it’s okay if Wynonna or Gus want to touch it, but it’s not like _anyone_ can just go ahead and feel my stomach now. People should ask.”

“I agree,” said Nicole, reflecting Waverly’s resentment in her eyes. “You’re not like a…” Nicole pause, gesturing vaguely with her hands as she searched for the right word. “An _object_ just because you’re pregnant.”

“I know!”

Waverly thought for a bit, and then a mischievous smile appeared on her face. “But I _really_ like it when you’ve got your hand like this.” She trailed her fingers over Nicole’s hand that was still holding Waverly’s stomach, albeit a little less tightly now. “It feels good, you know? _Safe_.”

She smiled dreamily, and Nicole couldn’t resist the chance to bend down and kiss her. Waverly scooched herself up a bit to reach better, and they kissed languidly. Waverly cradled Nicole’s face with her hands, and Nicole held her in place with one hand between her shoulder blades and the other slowly stroking Waverly’s belly. 

Waverly hummed appreciatively when Nicole gave her one last peck on the tip of her nose. “I could stay like this forever,” she smiled.

Nicole nuzzled her nose against Waverly’s cheek. “Me too.”

“I’m really happy we made up,” Waverly said in a more serious tone.

“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Tell me what you think in the comments. Are there any more conversations they should be having before they can move forward with their relationship? 
> 
> You guys really are the coolest, I'm so lucky to have so many of you comment on each chapter. I hope you realize how much that means to me!
> 
> Find me on tumblr @zaxagra


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy and Waverly have a study session. There's a bit of studying, but mostly talking. Wynonna stirs up a few questions too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe I had planned this fic to be 40 chapters? At this point I'm scared that 40 might only be halfway...
> 
> Thank you to my awesome beta @jorekbyrnison! Thanks for the lovely coffee today too <3

Waverly had scheduled a study session with Jeremy on Sunday. After her reconciliation with Nicole yesterday, she would much rather spend the day with her, but the study date was already planned, and Nicole had upcoming exams too. Waverly shouldn’t be skipping school work to make out with her hot girlfriend, no matter how much she wanted to. This was the more responsible thing to do.

They sat at her kitchen table, with textbooks and pages of hand-written notes and calculators and the periodic table strewn around them. After a productive morning, they had finished their notes from the first two chapters of their book. Waverly sorely needed a break before they tackled the next chapter,  _ Organic Chemistry _ .

She stood up and stretched her arms above her head, feeling her tired muscles creak. They’d been sitting with their shoulders hunched over their work for several hours, and her back wasn’t happy about it. 

“I’m hungry, are you?”

Jeremy nodded absentmindedly, his eyes still trailing over the list of study questions they’d just finished. 

Waverly started pulling out bread and cheese and butter, and Jeremy soon got up to help her. Waverly argued that their butts needed a break from sitting, so they ate their sandwiches standing by the kitchen bench.

Jeremy was quiet, although he seemed happy enough as he chewed. He’d been nothing but positive when trying to explain to Waverly a particularly hard assignment about reaction rates in chemical reactions just a minute ago, but now that they didn’t have science to talk about, he was unusually silent.

Waverly suddenly remembered how weird Jeremy had been on the trip to the resort. He’d been quiet and alone for a big portion of the weekend, and had looked almost petrified on the ride home. Waverly’d had her own stuff to think about then, with Champ being an ass, and she hadn’t really given it any thought. After the trip there was the nursery, and then the stuff with Nicole and her mom and her marriage, and Waverly had been far too occupied to notice any strangeness with her friends on top of that. But now Jeremy was here, eating his sandwich in amicable silence, and Waverly suddenly remembered how quiet he had been on the trip. She started to sense that maybe something was wrong, and  _ had  _ been wrong for some time.

A bout of guilt suddenly shot through her. She hadn’t been there for her friends lately. All that stuff with Chrissy and Robin, too, with Chrissy wanting more and Robin clearly wanting less. Waverly should have done something. Talked to them, or intervened, or whatever. She should have been there. 

_ Her _ life wasn’t exactly easy either, she reminded herself gently. Last week had been especially shitty, and she’d barely been able to stay on top of her homework, let alone care for her friends. But now she and Nicole had made up, and life seemed just a bit brighter. Time to tackle the next problem. 

Waverly put her sandwich down. “Jeremy, are you alright? You’ve been… quiet, lately.”

Jeremy looked at her and nodded hurriedly, but the smile on his face cost too much effort and it faded almost immediately. “Uh…” he said, maybe contemplating if it was safe to speak to Waverly about whatever problems he had. He decided to keep quiet. 

“You can talk to me if you want,” said Waverly gently. 

Jeremy nodded again, but didn’t speak.

Waverly returned to her sandwich. She wouldn’t pressure him if he didn’t want to, but she made a mental note to check in with him every now and then.

Just as she turned around to refill her orange juice, Jeremy piped up behind her.

“Uh, what happened with Nicole, last week?”

Waverly silently put the cap back on the carton of juice. She hadn’t told Jeremy about Nicole, yet. In fact, the only people who knew were Gus and Chrissy. But it was Jeremy who had been there when Nicole came to see her after school last week, and he’d kept silent the whole way home while Waverly fumed. He hadn’t asked her about it a single time.

Waverly turned around. Jeremy was picking nervously at the crust of his sandwich. 

Jeremy should know. He was her friend after all, and he would only be happy to hear about Waverly’s girlfriend. Even if she was, in fact, a  _ girl _ friend.

Waverly took a deep breath. “We had a fight. But we made up.”

Jeremy looked at her, patiently waiting for more.

“She’s my girlfriend.”

His eyes grew big as the meaning behind her words dawned on him. “ _ Oh! _ ” he exclaimed, his eyebrows high on his forehead. 

“Yeah.” She smiled nervously. Was this good or bad?

“Uh, that’s-” Jeremy fumbled for words. “That’s great, Waves! Uh, I mean. It’s… I didn’t know you were, uh…”

Waverly looked sheepishly at him. “Yeah, me neither.”

He started scratching the back of his head awkwardly, messing up his hair so that it was standing up on its own. “Uhm, how long have you known?”

Waverly leaned back against the kitchen bench, feeling the counter press into her hips. “Not really long,” she said honestly. “I just discovered it, with her… A few months ago?”

Jeremy nodded, looking anywhere but directly at her. “So, uh, are you… Uhm, a l-lesbian, or…”

Waverly smiled. He looked incredibly awkward with his questions, but she was happy that he was interested in knowing. Chrissy had asked the same thing, but somehow Jeremy’s question felt more genuine.

“I don’t really know. ‘Cause I dated Champ, and, well, I always just thought I was straight, you know? But now… Maybe I’m bi?” 

She scrunched up her face a bit at the question. Whenever she thought about labels and all that, she just ended up feeling more lost. She couldn’t really identify with the word ‘lesbian’, at least not yet, but ‘bi’ also felt a little weird. 

She shrugged. “I’m just really happy with Nicole.”

“That’s great!” Jeremy said with a big smile. “Congratulations! Or, I mean…” He trailed off, looking awkward again. 

Waverly looked at him. Her smile was almost as sheepish as his. Waverly frowned then.  _ She  _ had a reason for being awkward, because she had just come out to him. Sure, the whole situation was weird, and she hadn’t really talked to Jeremy about stuff like this before, but still. There was something there, a reason for Jeremy’s obvious discomfort, besides him just being awkward.

A question slowly started to dawn on her. When she’d told Chrissy about Nicole, she had been most interested in  _ Nicole _ and Waverly’s feelings towards her and all that, and Gus had just been really adamant that Waverly should be happy, because, well, she was  _ Gus _ . But Jeremy didn’t really care much about Nicole, it seemed like. At least, he seemed more interested in Waverly. 

“Uh, Jer?” she asked cautiously. “Have you ever, you know, questioned your sexuality?”

Jeremy visibly swallowed. Was he a bit paler than before or was that just the change in lighting?

“I mean, yeah, who hasn’t, right?” Jeremy joked airily, not really meeting her eyes.

Waverly smiled gently.  _ I hadn’t, before I met Nicole _ , she thought, but she didn’t say it. Instead she reached out and touched his elbow gently. “It’s okay if you’re gay, Jeremy.”

Jeremy laughed again, that same nonchalant laugh. But then he looked at her, and he looked really sad. He’d probably struggled with this for a long time, and Waverly never realized. A sad guilt washed over her then, and she took a step forward to hug him tightly. He trembled slightly as Waverly slowly rubbed her hand over his back, and suddenly she could feel him draw in a shuddering breath and he choked against her shoulder. 

“Oh, Jeremy. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” Waverly cooed. 

She held him for a long time. Eventually she could feel her sweater getting wet where he pressed his face against her shoulder. She only held him tighter. 

“How long have you known?” she asked quietly. His breathing was starting to even out.

He sniffed a few times before answering. “Uhm, a year maybe?” He pulled himself out of Waverly’s embrace and wiped at his eyes with his palms. “Or at least I think I sort of accepted it then.”

Waverly’s heart broke. He’d been struggling for so long and she never knew.

“I’m so sorry,” she said again.

“It’s okay,” he hiccupped. “You had your own stuff.”

“Yeah, but…” she shook her head. “I should’ve been there.”

He laughed through his tears. “Remember a year ago? You and I weren’t even really friends. You were with Champ and everyone wanted to be your friend.”

Waverly laughed. “I prefer things like they are now.”

Jeremy nodded. “Me too.”

Waverly’s sexual awakening had been incredibly unproblematic, she realized. Sure, she’d questioned her feelings toward Nicole in the beginning, and had even shared some of her worries with Chrissy at one point, but it had mostly been a straightforward path. She’d met Nicole, developed feelings, and now here they were. Girlfriends. 

“Have you told anyone else?” she asked.

Jeremy shook his head somberly.

Waverly nodded slowly. She had met his mom a few times. She was really great. “I bet your mom won’t mind,” she said kindly.

He smiled. “Yeah. I don’t think she’ll be… I dunno, mad or anything. But, you know…” He gestured lamely at nothing in particular.

Waverly smiled sympathetically. “Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s scary anyway. It’s kinda scary to just say the words, right? Nicole told me how she had just sort of said it to herself, all alone in her bedroom, again and again, until the words started to feel okay. Or real, or… I dunno. She explained it a lot better.”

Jeremy nodded. He wiped awkwardly at his cheek with the sleeve of his sweater. It must have been so hard for him to figure all of this out on his own. Waverly had forgotten how painful it could be to come out, because her own experience had just sort of happened. She reached out her arms and tugged a surprised Jeremy into another tight embrace. After a few seconds, she could feel him relaxing against her. 

“I’m here for you, Jer,” she promised him, and he nodded against her hair. 

They decided to go back to studying, but as soon as they sat down, Jeremy asked about Nicole, and Waverly spent a good half hour telling him all about how they’d met and their first kiss and the fight and everything. He gasped at all the right places and smiled happily whenever Waverly’s eyes glazed over with adoration. 

“Is she gonna be like a parent to your baby?” Jeremy asked after Waverly had dreamily recapped their making-up yesterday.

Waverly blushed. She’d asked Nicole yesterday on the couch to be part of it, whatever that meant. Nicole had cried and smiled, and then she’d promised that she would be there for the two of them. Waverly had been so happy. There was still a lot to talk about, she knew that, but at least she knew that Nicole was in it for the long run. 

“I guess so,” said Waverly eventually, meeting Jeremy’s expectant eyes. It felt awkward to admit to him the promises they had made to each other yesterday. “If we’re still together…”

Jeremy smiled goofily. “I think you’re gonna be together forever.”

Waverly blushed. “You do?”

“Just the way you talk about her.” He shrugged. “And you guys have such a fairytale meet-cute. She literally ran into you and knocked you off your socks. It’s meant to be.”

He leaned back, pleased with his argument.

Waverly smiled. “I hope so,” she said. “Besides the wife thing, she really is perfect.” 

She disappeared into her brain for a moment, remembering the amazing cuddle session they’d had yesterday. Nicole had told her she loved her, and it had made Waverly all warm and cozy, but also slightly nervous. Of course Nicole had sensed her uncertainty, and she had wrapped her arms around her and held her close. The simple act had made Waverly feel safe and cared for, and she knew that Nicole didn’t expect anything back just yet.

She shook her head, emerging out of the pleasant memory. “How about you?” she asked. “Any cute boys you like?”

Jeremy’s face turned white in an instant, and Waverly knew she’d hit a nerve. 

She grinned with excitement. “There is! Tell me.” 

Waverly looked at him eagerly, but he just shook his head. He looked down at his book, fidgeting nervously with his pensil. There was clearly something there, someone who occupied Jeremy’s mind, but Waverly could tell it was still too fresh. She reached out and covered his hand with her own, stilling the jittery movement. This wasn’t the moment for a cross-examination to find out who his crush was. Instead, Jeremy needed comfort and support.

“It’s okay to like a boy, Jeremy.”

He just shrugged and started chewing on his lip. 

Waverly studied his face. He was obviously nervous to tell Waverly the name of his crush. 

Waverly squeezed his hand. “You don’t have to tell me, but just… I won’t judge you, you know? I mean, I was with  _ Champ _ .” A thought hit her suddenly. “Oh, God, it’s not him, is it?”

Jeremy’s head shut up. “What? No.” There was disgust on his face. “ _ Ew _ .” 

He made a gross face for a second, but then he suddenly remembered how Champ had been Waverly’s boyfriend for more than a year. 

“Oh, wait, shit. I’m sorry, I -”

But Waverly only laughed. “Don’t worry. I would have said the same now.”

She couldn’t really see Champ being appreciative of a same-sex relationship anyway. He’d probably have something to say if he ever found out about her and Nicole. He was exactly the kind of guy who would make this about himself. Waverly could picture him being insulted for dating a chick who turned out to be gay. On the other hand, he was also the kind of gross dude who smirked appreciatively at the thought of two girls making out.

Waverly blinked, making Champ’s face disappear from her mind, and her attention returned to Jeremy. He seemed a bit calmer now. She knew it was totally okay if he wanted to keep his crush a secret, but she was also very curious. Those two things didn’t really go together. She decided to go with a different approach. 

“Do you know about anyone else in our year who’s gay?”

He shook his head. “No… Well, there’s Rachel’s brother, but he’s in college.”

Waverly blushed. Nicole was older too. Not  _ that  _ much older, but still.

Jeremy noticed. “Uh, I mean, not that that’s… I mean. Shit.”

Waverly smiled. “I think Steve’s got a boyfriend anyway.”

Jeremy swallowed awkwardly.

“Statistically around ten percent of the population is LGBTQ, right?” Waverly started. 

Jeremy nodded slowly. “That’s what they always say, yeah.”

“Right. And we’re 120 students in our year, so that means that there should be twelve people who are queer. So that’s you and me, and ten other people.”

“Yeah, but that’s statistics. It doesn’t work like that in the real world, because ten percent is the average, and almost nothing is exactly at the average value, meaning our grade should either have  _ more _ than twelve people, or, more likely, because that’s just my luck,  _ less _ than twelve people. So it could be just you and me and no one else.”

Waverly loved this. Talking in numbers with Jeremy, analyzing the world around him. 

“Yeah,” she said, equally analytical. “But no one knows that the two of us are gay either, so there could be more people like that, representing hidden numbers. And also there’s the fact that a lot of people don’t figure out their sexuality until later, so the number will probably grow. Maybe our grade is hugely overrepresented, and we just don’t know it.”

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, that’s true.” He looked thrilled with the little logical analysis they’d done, but then his shoulders sagged. He sighed. “But it doesn’t really make things easier  _ now _ .”

Waverly smiled sympathetically. “It doesn’t.”

Again, she realized how lucky she was with her own journey. 

“At least we’ve got each other, right?” she tried. “We can be gay together. Well, not  _ together _ . But, you know…”

Jeremy grinned. “Yeah. We can be gay together.”

Waverly returned the grin with a wink. “At least until we find you a boyfriend.”

A fresh blush burned on Jeremy’s cheek, and again Waverly’s mind started racing through a rolodex of potential names. She quickly shut it down. Jeremy would tell her when he was ready. Until then she could only be supportive. 

“So.” She nodded towards the book. “Organic chemistry. Let’s see…” She flipped through her notebook until she found the right page. It was covered in carefully drawn hexagons with small descriptive words underneath. “Alright, so organic chemistry is defined as chemical compounds that include carbon in covalent bonding.”

\---

Jeremy was still there when Wynonna came home many hours later. 

“What up, dweebs,” she greeted and went straight for the cupboard to fetch the whiskey bottle she had managed to hide from Gus while she was visiting. “Watcha doin’?”

“Studying,” Waverly said vaguely and gestured to the mess on the table. “Chemistry.”

Wynonna groaned. “Ugh, I’m already bored.”

Waverly grinned at her sister’s over-the-top reaction, but Jeremy looked very uneasy. Wynonna always scared him a bit.

“I should go,” he said and started packing up his stuff.

Waverly just let him do it. They’d been at it for more than eight hours, and she was tired. Her concentration had started to derail an hour ago, and she was almost grateful that Wynonna had come home to distract them. 

“Hey, baby girl, I thought you were gonna come to Peacemaker yesterday. I tried calling you.”

Waverly had, of course, been very busy with Nicole, and hadn’t heard any of her sister’s calls. 

She cleared her throat before answering. “Yeah, sorry. I was at Nicole’s.” 

She tried to sound casual, but Jeremy was eyeing her knowingly and it was  _ not _ helping. 

“I should’ve called, or, uh… Yeah.”

“I thought you hated Nicole now,” Wynonna said and took another swig of her bottle.

“Uh, no. We just had a fight.”

Wynonna looked at her with squinted eyes. “I don’t get you, sis. First Nicole’s a friend. Then she’s your  _ best _ friend. Then you hate her. And now everything’s just peachy again?”

Wynonna had definitely caught Waverly’s foul mood from last week.

Waverly nodded innocently, swallowing away the tiny wave of guilt. “Uh-uh.” 

Her sister had really tried reaching out over the past few days, asking Waverly what the fight with Nicole had been about, but Waverly had dodged every question. She hadn’t wanted to talk about it, especially not with Wynonna, for some reason. The thought of coming clean about her new girlfriend while simultaneously telling Wynonna how it had all gone to shit hadn’t really been a pleasant thought. That was one shock too many, and Waverly could only imagine the mountain of follow-up questions. Eventually Wynonna had simply stopped asking. Now she was, apparently, back to being snarky instead.

Wynonna quirked an eyebrow. “What did you even fight about?” 

Waverly gulped. It felt stupid to lie with Jeremy present. “Uh, she lied to me about being married to Shae.”

It sounded silly now. Especially considering how Wynonna didn’t know anything about Nicole being her girlfriend.

“Yeah, I know.” Wynonna said simply.

“What?”

She put the bottle down on the kitchen bench. “Shae told me.”

“Shae told  _ you _ ? Why didn’t you tell me?” Not only had she been betrayed by Nicole, but her sister too?

“I didn’t know that  _ you _ didn’t know. I thought you knew everything about Ginger McFringe, since you’re besties and all.”

Waverly ignored the nickname, instead fisting her hand. She could potentially have known about this earlier if she’d just talked to her sister. Or Shae. Apparently  _ she  _ wasn’t as secretive about her marital status as Nicole had been.

“She told me a few weeks ago, over tequila. I even invited you and Nicole too, but you two lame-os didn’t wanna come. Didn’t even RSVP to my text.” 

Wynonna looked mock-insulted, but Waverly ignored her. Instead she frowned. She couldn’t remember her sister inviting her to a tequila party lately, but then again, she had spent most of her time at Nicole’s apartment ever since they had started dating.

“Why do you even care about Nicole being married to Shae? Honestly, I ship them. Shae’s super awesome. I think she’d be good for Miss Goody Two-Shoes.” She crossed her arms with a wise grin on her face. “Maybe that stick she’s got up her ass would ease up a bit.”

Waverly’s nostrils suddenly flared, totally out of her control. She bit her teeth together, making her cheeks bulge. Jeremy looked slowly from Waverly’s red hot face to Wynonna who was still grinning. 

Honestly it was weird how oblivious Wynonna was. It wasn’t as if Waverly’s girlfriend was a giant secret. Nicole had come over nearly every day while they redid the nursery, and Gus had guessed it right away. Clearly, no one could be  _ that  _ good a friend without there being anything more. Wynonna knew very well how much time Waverly spent at Nicole’s apartment, and she’d seen with her own eyes how upset Waverly had been last week when they had their fight. And yet, like some kind of screwed-up miracle, all of that translated to normal friend-behaviour in Wynonna’s mind. It almost made Waverly angry all over again.

“Anyway, Doc’s mood was terrible yesterday, almost like you.” She pointed at Waverly with her bottle. “And he almost burned down the kitchen ‘cause he left the stove on, so it was probably better that you weren’t there.”

Waverly looked stunned. “He burned down the kitchen?”

“Way of speaking, Waverly. Don’t take everything I say seriously.”

“Wha- Never mind.”

Jeremy looked as perplexed as Waverly felt. Wynonna pushed herself off the kitchen counter and started towards the hallway.

“Where were  _ you  _ yesterday, anyway?” Waverly accused, swivelling around in her chair to follow Wynonna with her eyes. “Were you with Dolls again?”

Wynonna lifted her shoulders. “Who knows?” she said vaguely. 

Wynonna disappeared through the door, leaving Waverly and Jeremy behind in the kitchen, the one more confused than the other. 

Jeremy looked at her. “What does that mean?”

“I have no idea.”

He looked behind him quickly, to see if Wynonna was still lingering in the doorway, and then he leaned forward, whispering, “Why don’t you tell her?”

“I don’t know...”

Waverly had asked herself that same question more and more frequently over the past weeks. 

Wynonna was the supportive sister all the way. She’d proven that time and time again, especially these last few months with the pregnancy. Waverly knew Wynonna would accept her baby sister for having a girlfriend, but saying the words was hard enough when facing a direct question, as Chrissy and Gus had posed. Telling her straight up that she was madly in love with the redhead Wynonna loved to mock was much harder. And apparently she would have to tell her in clear words, because Wynonna would never guess them being together even if she caught them making out on the couch.

There was another thing to consider too. Something that was scarier than coming out to her sister. Wynonna had become wildly protective when it came to Waverly’s baby. Welcoming Nicole as a potential parent to her nephew might be a challenge. Waverly had only just talked to Nicole about this particular thing, and they weren’t really done setting up the rules for Nicole’s involvement in all of this. Wynonna had said once that this kid was gonna be  _ theirs _ , so how would she react if Nicole was added to that mix? Waverly didn’t really wanna spring it on Wynonna before the plan was a bit more solid. 

There was a lot to consider, and the internal debate continued long after Jeremy was gone and the two Earp sisters were sitting on one couch each in the living room. Neither of them were really watching the movie Wynonna had put on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't Jeremy the cutest? And what will Wynonna say when she eventually finds out about Waverly and Nicole?
> 
> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated :) See you next week!


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole is trying to work on her exam, but that is very hard to do when Waverly is distracting her (there may or may not be a little bit of a cat and mouse game going on). Waverly's friends are receiving their acceptance letters and it might stir up some pending conflict.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This chapter was typed out at my beta's dining table. We drank 12 cups of different tea's and had a blast. Hope you enjoy!  
> Thank you @jorekbyrnison for being my most awesome friend (and maker of fan art, check my tumblr!)

Nicole was trying to concentrate. She was sitting in the library, working on her take-home exam in Social theory. She hadn’t done any work on it before now, even though the exam started a week ago. There had just been too many other things to think about, with Waverly and her parents and everything. She still had a lot to figure out, and there were several pressing issues that were kinda stressing her out, more so than her current exam. 

First, there was the whole housing situation. Her father had granted her some time to find a new place, but she didn’t know exactly how  _ much _ time she had before she was expected to be packed and ready to leave. She’d sent an email to ask for student housing, but the answer was that everything was full until the end of the semester. She knew she couldn’t stay in her apartment until summer started, so she had to figure out something else. 

Then there were finances. Sure, Nicole had had summer jobs before, at her parents’ firm. She knew how to work hard even when she hated the job itself. It would be nice to get a job she actually  _ liked _ this time, but Nicole knew she could still manage if it was just another arbitrary job with mundane tasks. Either way, she had started to look for jobs on the internet, but there hadn’t really been anything that had caught her eye. It seemed like a lot of the more interesting positions had already been filled.

Lastly there were exams. She was in the middle of her take-home exam now, which was due in ten days, but she also had two written exams over the next two weeks, in Criminology and Social statistics. She couldn’t really afford to spend a lot of time on either one of them, because there was just too much to learn in a very limited amount of time.

There was also the fact that the only thing she could think of was Waverly, which prevented her from doing anything at all. If it was up to Nicole, she would spend every minute with Waverly, but Waverly had eventually put her foot down. “You have exams,” she had said. When Nicole had protested and said she would manage anyway, Waverly had sternly told her “ _ I _ have exams”, and Nicole couldn’t really challenge that. 

They hadn’t seen each other for two days now, and it  _ hurt _ . Nicole couldn’t believe it was possible to miss anyone this much, especially since they were still texting all the time. 

She bowed over her textbook again, trying to comprehend the paragraph she’d been staring blankly at for the last few minutes. Just then her phone buzzed, and Nicole grabbed for it eagerly, thankful for the distraction. 

It was from Waverly.

_ Waverly  _ [14.10]: Okay, so I know I said we couldn’t see each other today, but I’m literally dying

_ Waverly  _ [14.10]: Can I come over after school?

_ Thank god. _

Nicole answered with a few ticks on her phone and quickly gathered up her things, heading out of the library a minute later.

\---

Nicole answered as soon as Waverly knocked on the door. She was slightly out of breath, as if she’d lept for the door immediately upon hearing the soft knock. Her cheeks were slightly tinged too, accentuating the fiery red of her short hair perfectly. 

They spent a few seconds looking at each other, appreciating the sight of one another (it had been  _ ages _ , after all), before Waverly lunged forward to capture Nicole’s lips.

It had been too long. 

Forty eight hours was an eternity, and Waverly decided right in that second that it would never happen again. She clutched Nicole’s neck, eagerly pulling her head down so that she could reach her properly. Nicole didn’t mind. She tugged at Waverly’s waist just as impatiently, drawing her inside. 

The kissing slowed down after a bit, until Waverly placed a final kiss on Nicole’s swollen lips and let her forehead rest against Nicole’s. She could feel Nicole’s rapid breath against her cheeks, and felt her burning skin under her fingers where they rested on the collar of her sweater. 

Waverly nestled herself against Nicole’s chest. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting the familiar smell of Nicole and the softness of her skin fill her senses. It was heaven.

“Hi,” Waverly croaked from Nicole’s tight embrace. Her ear was resting on Nicole’s chest and she could hear the steady thunder of her heart. 

“Hi,” Nicole answered. Waverly could hear the smile in her voice. 

“I missed you,” Waverly said.

Nicole kissed the crown of Waverly’s head. “Me too.”

“Two days is too long.”

“I agree.”

They hugged for a while, and then they kissed a bit more, and then Waverly had to pee. 

When she returned from the bathroom, Nicole was at the stove, watching over a kettle.

“Tea?” she asked when Waverly sat down at the breakfast bar. 

Waverly smiled. “Always.”

Nicole returned the smile and prepared Waverly’s beverage with confident movements. For someone who had never really drunk a lot of tea, she had become quite a wizard with the drink, waiting for the water to be at the perfect temperature before pouring it over the bag of green tea, as not to burn the leaves. She’d seen Waverly do it once, and, after she had asked her about it, had copied the practice to perfection ever since. 

“Here you go.” 

Nicole put the mug in front of her, on a coaster. Waverly reached for it immediately and wrapped her hands around the cup, warming her ever-cold fingers. She enjoyed their little routine with the tea. It was one of those things that showed how much Nicole really cared for her.

“How is your exam coming along?” Waverly asked as Nicole drew out the chair next to her. Waverly leaned her face over her mug and breathed in the warm steam. It smelled of green tea and orange.

“Not great,” Nicole confessed. “I keep thinking of other stuff, so it’s hard to concentrate.”

Waverly smiled. She knew what was behind those words. Nicole had told her in a text how her mind had been distracted with thoughts of Waverly all day, making her blush in the busy lunch hall yesterday. Waverly had also been very flustered by thoughts of Nicole, and had been poked in the ribs twice in English today, by a smirking Chrissy. 

“What’s on your mind?” Waverly asked innocently, taking a careful sip of hot tea to hide her satisfied grin.

Nicole saw right through her. With an equally smug face, she leaned forward until her lips hovered just an inch from her ear. “I think you know,” she whispered with a low voice that made goosebumps appear on the skin of Waverly’s neck. 

The little wisp of breath on the shell of her ear made Waverly  _ feel  _ things, and it wasn’t the first time. There was something building inside of her, a desire for more. It had been there for some time, coming in stronger and stronger waves for every day that passed. The feeling presented itself in the most inappropriate times, for example in Randy Nedley’s car this morning, making Waverly blush brightly in the backseat. 

It was gonna happen soon, she could feel it. She  _ wanted _ it. Waverly could sense it in Nicole as well, the way her lips lingered just a second longer against her neck just now, leaving a wet kiss on that special spot beneath Waverly’s ear.

Just as quickly, Nicole straightened up, mirroring the innocence that had been on Waverly’s face only seconds earlier. 

“Just, you know. Housing and stuff,” Nicole said seriously, reminding Waverly that they were having a conversation about  _ real _ stuff. Adult stuff. “I can’t find any jobs that look appealing, but I think I just have to lower my standards.”

It was a game. A dirty game of cat and mouse that had started as soon as Nicole had opened the door. Waverly knew she would crack soon enough. Nicole had that impact on her. The fresh haircut didn’t help. 

Waverly had been fairly distraught when Nicole had first revealed the hack job. Waverly had done her best to fix it, but she wasn’t a hairdresser and took the job out of pure necessity. She’d been uncertain about the result and had concocted a plan to ship Nicole off to a proper hairdresser as soon as it had grown an inch or two. But now the hairdo had settled a bit, growing into a more proper style over the last few days, and Waverly turned out to be a big fan. The fresh curls fit better to Nicole’s positive persona, Waverly thought. It looked a bit more lively and not as proper as the braid had done. In Waverly’s humble opinion, Nicole had turned into an irresistibly sexy beast.

She was using her sexiness now, in this game they were playing. Nicole looked innocent enough, but Waverly knew exactly what she was doing when she drew her fingers slowly through her hair, pretending to chase a scratch deriving from her neck.

Two people could play, though, and Waverly had always been an excellent player. 

“What kind of things are you looking for?” Waverly asked. 

Nicole looked at her blankly. It seemed like she, too, had forgotten about the conversation they were having.

Waverly’s lips stretched out into an enticing smirk. “With the job search, I mean.”

“Oh, right.” Nicole blinked a few times. “Well, there’s a few jobs that’s in retail, and there’s stuff like restaurants and café’s.”

Waverly nodded. “I’ve worked at Shorty’s for a few summers. It was nice. Making coffee and chatting with the locals and everything.”

“Yeah…” Nicole looked uncertain, as if she couldn’t really see herself in a position like that, serving customers behind a bar.

“But it’s not a good fit for you,” Waverly said gently, the alluring smirk now gone to make room for a more reassuring smile. 

“No, I think… I don’t know what would fit me.”

Waverly scrunched up her eyebrows, nudging the wheels in her brain to start turning. “You could ask Doc if he needs more hands,” she said slowly. “Maybe not behind the bar, but by the door, like Dolls.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Nicole shrugged. 

“Is there anything at the university? Maybe the library or something like a TA or something?”

Nicole raised her eyebrows. “I’m not really invested in my studies at the moment. I don’t think I’d make a good TA.”

“You’re invested in criminology,” Waverly reminded.

Nicole thought for a bit. “That’s true. Maybe I can ask Professor Weisz about it.”

“You should.” 

Waverly smiled, happy that they had at least figured out one proper idea to help Nicole out. One idea was enough, she gathered, because Nicole’s eyes were smoldering again, and Waverly’s fingers were itching for skin contact.

“Fudge it,” she said under her breath, the last of her resolve finally crumbling. With one smooth movement, she launched herself at Nicole.

\---

The next day, Pete York once again saw the opportunity to ask Waverly out. He was lingering outside the classroom after English, waiting to catch Waverly as she and Jeremy made their way out to the lunch hall. 

"Heeeey, Waverly," Pete greeted, a bit too eager, pushing himself from the wall where he was leaning casually. 

"Hey!"

Waverly had a huge smile on her face. It was not at all related to Pete's sudden appearance, but rather because she was having a particularly good day. 

Last night had been really good. Waverly had made dinner while Nicole scoured the internet for cheap places to live, and then Nicole had walked her all the way home in the crisp spring air. She'd slept through the entire night without waking up to pee, and then she'd spent a good ten minutes in bed cradling her stomach because her baby was somersaulting like crazy. Her History essay had come back with a shiny red A and an unusual smile from Professor Malick. On top of that, Waverly had a whole packet of dried mango slices to look forward to for lunch. 

Pete seemed to interpret the smile otherwise, though, because his face immediately lit up. He stretched his back to make himself as tall as possible, and proudly puffed out his chest. 

"I, uh, I wondered if you're gonna see the game on Friday, and, uh, if maybe you wanted to hang out afterwards? I thought we could get milkshakes and fries, or, uh…"

_ Shit. _

Waverly really thought he would stop asking after the last time she blew him off. It was time to do it properly, to let him know there’s really no chance. Besides, she had plans with Nicole on Friday, and she wasn’t gonna blow that off for an evening with Pete York.

“Oh, Pete.” She reached forward and grabbed his hand. It was supposed to be a sympathetic gesture, but Waverly quickly regretted it when Pete’s cheeks filled with a dark blush. “I’m sorry, Pete. I really am, but I’ve got a g- I’m, uh, seeing someone already. So…” Waverly looked down on her shoes, awkward that she’d almost slipped up. 

Pete drew his clammy hand out of Waverly’s soft grasp. “No problem,” he promised, but Waverly could hear the sorrow in his voice. “I’ll see you later?”

Waverly smiled up at him. “Yeah, sure.”

Pete quickly shuffled away from them, in the opposite direction of the lunch hall. 

“Wow, he really has a thing for you, doesn’t he?” Jeremy grinned as soon as Pete was out of earshot. 

“Ugh, yeah, he’s asked me out three times now.” Waverly thought for a bit. “He’s such a sweet guy, too. Super kind and funny and, yeah...”

“He’s also best friends with Champ, and a hockey player,” Jeremy added slowly.

Waverly looked at him. His eyebrows were scrunched up as if he was deep in thought.

“I know Champ is a dick, but I don’t think Pete is really all that bad.” For some reason, Waverly felt the need to defend the boy.

Jeremy shrugged, and Waverly was ready to let it go, but then Jeremy opened his mouth again. 

“They used to lock me in the showers after gym.”

Waverly looked up. “What? The hockey guys?”

Jeremy nodded. “Coach Carter had to let me out.”

Waverly looked at him in shock. She couldn’t believe it. Sure, the hockey guys were kind of Champ’s posse, but they had always treated her nicely. 

“Are you serious?” she asked again, staring at Jeremy with huge eyes. 

He’d never told her about this, and neither had Champ.

Jeremy nodded in affirmation. “It’s a long time ago now, in tenth grade. After a while Jake started to check the showers after gym, and they stopped. Maybe Carter put him up to it or something.”

Waverly blinked a few times, trying to fathom everything Jeremy had just told her. “I didn’t know,” she said helplessly. 

Jeremy smiled gently. “I know. And it’s okay.” He shrugged. “You couldn’t exactly do anything about it.”

“Yeah, but maybe I could. If I had known about it maybe I could have talked to Champ or…”

“Waverly, it’s okay. It’s in the past.” 

They were outside the lunch hall now, and the conversation was necessarily nearing its end. Waverly wanted to tell Jeremy how sorry she was, or do something to make it better, but there was nothing she  _ could _ do. 

Jeremy sensed her hesitation. He smiled again, a supportive smile that said  _ I’m okay, I promise. _

Waverly returned the smile, but it faltered somewhat.

“It’s two years ago now,” Jeremy said, again stressing how the events belonged to the past. “Even before you and Champ were a thing. You couldn’t have done anything. And I’m alright now, so... ”

Waverly nodded. 

“I just… I won’t  _ miss _ them after high school,” Jeremy concluded.

He nodded toward the corner where they usually sat, and led them through the masses of loud and hungry students.

Waverly’s head was filled with conflict. She knew that Champ was a bad guy. He had cheated on her, with one of her friends no less, and he’d taken advantage of her when she was drunk. He had also pressured her to get an abortion. But he’d done all of that to  _ her _ , and only at the very end of their relationship. Before that he had been nothing but sweet. Well, mostly. 

Sure, he had locked Chrissy into a Porta-Potty that one time, but that was ages ago, when they were still in middle school. Waverly thought Champ had grown out of stupid pranks like that, but apparently he had still been at it shortly before he became her boyfriend. 

“Hey, guys!” greeted Chrissy.

Waverly and Jeremy had reached their regular table. Chrissy was already eating. Jeremy sat down quickly and reached into his backpack to pull out his packed lunch.

“I thought you’d never come,” Chrissy said jokingly, but there was a slight sense of truth in her voice.

“Yeah, sorry,” said Jeremy. “We were, uh, held up.”

Chrissy raised her eyebrows in question and took a swig of her bottled water. 

“Pete asked me out again,” Waverly explained as she slid onto the bench next to Chrissy.

“Oooh, did you tell him about your girlfriend?” Chrissy teased with a low voice.

“ _ No _ ,” Waverly bit at her. She looked around quickly, but the chattering around them was far too loud for anyone to have heard. “I just told him I was dating someone else.”

Chrissy shrugged, that beaming smile still on her face. 

Just then Robin appeared from the crowd, an excited look on his face. Jeremy scooched to make room for him, and he quickly sat down. 

“Jeremy, look,” he said and slammed down a formal looking letter in front of him. “I got in to Montréal!”

“What? You did?” 

Jeremy scanned the letter quickly. It had a red and yellow emblem in the top corner, and several paragraphs of text before Waverly eyed a neat signature at the bottom. 

“Dude, you did!” Jeremy looked as if he was about to jump up and down with excitement. 

“Let me see,” Chrissy said and pulled the letter towards her. 

Waverly read over her shoulder. It was an acceptance letter from Concordia University in Montréal, for a BFA in Jazz History. It was his dream, Waverly knew. She looked up and smiled at Robin who was squealing with joy. Jeremy almost looked more happy about it than Robin did. He’d received his acceptance letter for McGill University a few weeks ago, but he hadn’t talked a lot about it, and Waverly had gotten the impression that the thought of moving from home had started to dawn on him and he was kinda nervous about it. But now…

“We’re gonna live in the same city,” Jeremy exclaimed enthusiastically.

“I know!” Robin grinned. “Hey, we should apply for student housing together!”

The two boys kept talking excitedly for the rest of the lunch break. Waverly couldn’t remember ever seeing Jeremy so happy about anything, not even season four of Game of Thrones. Suddenly it dawned on her. Maybe Robin was Jeremy’s crush. That kinda made sense. It would at least explain why he was so quiet on the way home from spring break, because that’s when Chrissy and Robin had spent the night in Robin’s bed… While Jeremy slept in the top bunk…

Waverly could feel her eyes widening to large saucepans. 

This was… something.

She turned quickly to Chrissy who was still staring at the letter with a deep crease between her eyebrows. Chrissy hadn’t been accepted to any university or college yet. She hadn’t been sure what she wanted to do either, so she’d just sent out a bunch of applications seemingly at random. Travelling was also an option, Waverly knew, but nothing was planned as far as she was aware of.

Chrissy looked conflicted when she finally lifted her gaze. Waverly couldn’t tell if it was due to the lack of letters on her part or if it was the immense joy that was displayed on the other side of the table, but the anguish in her eyes made a huge lump appear in Waverly’s stomach. 

Chrissy did her best to share the joy of her friends, but the sadness in her eyes remained. With the two boys moving to the other side of the country and Waverly having a baby, it was quite possible that Chrissy would be more or less alone next year. What if she wasn’t accepted anywhere, or what if she didn’t have the funds to go abroad? Would Waverly have time to care for her friend as well as a newborn baby?

Waverly wasn’t exactly sure what was going on with Chrissy and Robin these days either, or if either of them were really invested in whatever kind of relationship they were having. They didn’t really  _ look _ in love or anything, but Chrissy hadn’t said anything about it lately. To be fair, Waverly hadn’t asked about it either. But if the feeling in her gut was correct, Jeremy might just be joining the tournament for Robin’s heart, and that could stir up a whole load of fresh drama. 

Ever since their chemistry study session, Waverly had been filled with a strong urge to protect Jeremy, but it seemed like the tables had shifted over lunch break. Maybe  _ he  _ wasn’t the one in need of a shield.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicole and Waverly can't seem to keep their hands off each other... And what is happening with Waverly's friends? Poor Chrissy, huh? Let me know what you thought in the comments or hit me up on tumblr @zaxagra!


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly and Nicole take the next step in their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Quick disclaimer for this chapter: the M rating is in full effect in this one due to sexual content. If that is not your thing, I would recommend you to skip the chapter. 
> 
> As always, a big thanks to my beta @jorekbyrnison for helping me out!

They were kissing. 

Two minutes ago, Nicole had been quizzing Waverly for her biology test tomorrow, and Waverly had been in the middle of a complicated explanation of the biphasic life cycle of seaweed when she noticed Nicole looking at her. Like, really  _ looking  _ at her. Nicole had definitely  _ not _ been paying attention to ‘gametophytes’ or ‘sporophytes’ or any other terms Waverly had been throwing around. Instead she had sat on the couch next to a sleeping Calamity Jane, gazing at her girlfriend with those big, beautiful, warm eyes, completely mesmerized by Waverly’s nervous pacing and wild hand gestures on the other side of the table. 

Waverly had completely melted at the sight. There was so much adoration and devotion in Nicole’s eyes that Waverly had to remind herself to breath. She had felt so incredibly loved, and it was all Nicole’s doing. Nicole and those stupid dimples that made Waverly weak in the knees. 

So now they were kissing.

It was slow at first, with lots of tiny smiles accentuating each kiss. But then Waverly’s fingers trailed up to the small hairs at the back of Nicole’s neck, and the feeling made them both shiver with excitement. She tugged slightly, urging Nicole to get up from the couch. Nicole answered immediately. Her hands settled more firmly on Waverly’s hips, holding them together so that Waverly’s belly was pressing against Nicole’s abdomen. 

Waverly knew where this would lead, and she  _ wanted  _ it. It had sort of been in the air ever since she came in through the door an hour ago, just waiting to be grasped. Waverly wondered if Nicole had felt it too. 

Ever since they made up after the whole marriage thing, their relationship had felt more intimate. They both knew they were in it for the long haul, and that feeling of safety had let Waverly feel much more relaxed with their relationship. Where she had been uncertain before, she was now calm and confident and  _ excited _ . 

Nicole had also opened up about her own feelings and struggles a bit more, something she hadn’t really done before. She had talked openly about the whole deal with her parents, and she’d allowed Waverly to comfort her and help her search for prospective jobs. Waverly really loved the confident Nicole, the one with all the swagger and sexiness, but the more vulnerable side definitely had its perks as well. The best thing was that Waverly really felt that she knew the  _ whole _ Nicole now, and she knew that this was the person she wanted to keep in her life, as her girlfriend, and as her family.

Waverly had been ready to go to the next step for well over a week. As soon as she had hit the realization, her skin had been on fire. The subject had grown to occupy most of her brain space, both day and night, and she could often feel her mind drifting off in the middle of class, finding herself thinking about Nicole’s lips or her long fingers instead of paying attention to whatever the teacher was trying to convey. Unfortunately, she had been a bit shy about initiating the whole thing, and she knew that Nicole wouldn’t start anything, afraid of pushing Waverly. Between Waverly’s shyness and Nicole’s exam yesterday, the opportunity hadn’t really presented itself. 

_ But tonight _ , Waverly thought, smiling into the next kiss.  _ Tonight was the night.  _

She was gonna have sex with Nicole Haught. 

Waverly curled her fingers around Nicole’s neck with one hand while the other trailed down to her girlfriend’s exposed clavicle. She tugged softly, making Nicole bend her head a little. The position allowed her to capture Nicole's mouth more fully with every kiss, and Waverly wasted no time. She could hear how Nicole’s breath hitched when her tongue made its way into her mouth, gliding against Nicole’s own. 

Waverly started unbuttoning Nicole’s shirt, and her heart beat faster with every button she popped. There were many of them, though, and she was only halfway when Nicole softly grasped her eager hands and carefully broke off their kiss. 

Waverly knew this was a possibility. Nicole always paused to make sure that Waverly was alright, even with innocent make-out sessions. She was prepared for Nicole’s need to check in with her now too, even though the interruption only made her skin hotter. 

“Wave, wait,” breathed Nicole. 

She took a step back to collect herself, but didn’t let go of Waverly’s hands. Waverly was pleased with the way Nicole’s chest was rising and falling heavily. She was also pleased with the way Nicole’s opened shirt revealed her purple bra underneath. It was lace, which was somewhat of a surprise for Waverly. She had expected Nicole to wear more sensible underwear, simple, black, but maybe Nicole had been preparing herself for this possibility just like Waverly had.

“Waverly.” Nicole finally met her gaze, which was determined. “Are you sure?”

Waverly nodded. “I’m ready,” she said, but Nicole still looked uncertain. 

She squeezed their connected hands and felt Nicole squeeze back, almost like a reflex. 

“We’ve been dating for well over a month,” Waverly said, presenting her case. “And that’s  _ without  _ counting the entire week we wasted with the whole Shae business. I want this. I want you.” 

A thought struck her then, something she hadn’t yet considered. Waverly took a step back, ducking her head. Nicole refused to let go of her hands. 

“Unless… Unless you don’t want to, because I’m…” 

_ Pregnant. _

Waverly shrugged, not daring to meet Nicole’s eye. A whole load of uncertainties came flooding over her suddenly. Waverly was large now instead of slender and pretty like she used to be. Maybe Nicole didn’t think she was attractive like this, or maybe she was freaked out because of the human being Waverly was carrying inside her stomach. Maybe she was scared that something would happen to Waverly and the baby, or maybe the thought just disgusted her.

Nicole calmly interrupted her rambling thoughts. “No.” 

With a small step she closed the gap between them. They were standing so close that Waverly’s belly brushed against the remaining closed buttons of Nicole’s shirt. 

“Quite the opposite.” 

Waverly could hear the greed in Nicole’s voice at the admittance. Her breath ghosted over Waverly’s cheek, accompanied by her thumb. Waverly looked up. Nicole was very close.

“Waverly, you’re… You’re so sexy.”

Nicole moved one long forefinger to Waverly’s chin, tipping it slightly before kissing her slowly,  _ delicately _ . Waverly sighed, her eyes still closed. This was surely heaven.

“But,” Nicole hesitated, her voice rough. “You’re not dizzy? Or nauseous? Or-”

Waverly shook her head, the determination back in her eyes. “I’m perfect. When I’m with you, I’m perfect.”

Nicole’s face broke out into a hesitant smile.

“I read about it,” Waverly said quickly. Of course she’d read about it, article after article about sex during pregnancy and possible risks. The articles had all said the same thing. “It’s entirely safe. The only thing is that there can be some bleeding. Just spotting,” she added quickly before Nicole could open her mouth. “But that’s mostly with, uhm, penetration, I guess.” Waverly trailed off, a bit awkward for the amount of research she had done for this occasion.

Nicole leaned down for another kiss. “I read about it too,” she confessed.

Waverly looked up. “You did?”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “We’ll just take it slow.” Another kiss. “Tell me, okay? If there’s anything that hurts, or...”

Waverly nodded quickly. “I will. I- I want to be with you, Nicole.”

The corners of Nicole’s mouth tugged upwards into an alluring smile that made Waverly’s breath hitch again. “So do I.” 

Nicole carefully cupped Waverly’s face in her hands and kissed her deeply, their tongues gliding languidly together. With trembling fingers, Waverly continued unbuttoning Nicole’s shirt until it hung open. She splayed her hands flat against the naked abdomen and smirked at the ripple of strong muscles where her icy fingers met Nicole’s warm skin.

Nicole smiled smugly and repaid the act with a wet kiss just beneath Waverly’s right ear. When she sucked Waverly’s earlobe into her warm mouth, Waverly was ready to explode. She started tugging at Nicole’s belt, opening it quickly. With one raw, sexy move, she drew the entire thing out of Nicole’s belt loops. Then she went to work on Nicole’s zipper.

Meanwhile, Nicole traced her hands along the edge of Waverly’s dress, on the back of her thighs. Waverly shivered with delight when she started drawing her hands upwards, taking the dress with her, up her legs, over her buttocks and up her back. Nicole was hungrily watching her face as the pads of her fingers went from cotton tights to naked skin halfway up her back. Waverly felt positively electric, slipping her tongue out with the sheer thrill of it. She held up her arms to let Nicole pull the dress over her head, and immediately connected their lips again. 

A little subconscious about the way Waverly’s tights were drawn almost up to her breasts, encapsulating her entire belly in the soft, black fabric, she pressed herself against Nicole’s tall frame. Nicole thankfully let her hide the awkward garment, kissing her instead. She slid her hands around Waverly’s back and up, underneath the broad band of her bra. Waverly could feel goosebumps erupt there, spreading all the way up to her neck and down her arms. 

They weren’t even naked yet, and Waverly was already trembling. 

With the safety of Nicole’s hands on her back, Waverly’s confidence was slowly ebbing back, and she realized that she wanted to feel Nicole too, to touch and to taste her skin. She started exploring Nicole’s torso with flat hands, letting them wander slowly down her sides to her stomach and up again over her breasts. Her insecurity prevented her from pausing at the swell there, halting instead a little further up, where she could feel the thunder of Nicole's heart. Waverly put her mouth exactly there, licking Nicole’s skin and biting softly into the flesh. 

Nicole’s fingers pressed into the skin over Waverly’s shoulder blades at the soft nibble. It felt good, and Waverly wanted to feel that pressure again, so she bit one more time. This time a small grunt came from Nicole’s throat. Waverly chased the sound with her lips. With her tongue, she traced Nicole’s soft skin from the flesh on her chest to her throat and up to the edge of her jaw. Her mouth finally found Nicole’s lips again. 

Waverly twined her fingers in Nicole’s short hair, tugging slightly at it with impatience. Nicole smirked against her lips, satisfied with Waverly’s  _ want _ . She traced her hands down again, and hitched her fingers just below the swell of Waverly’s butt. She lifted Waverly effortlessly, holding her steady in her strong hands while Waverly’s belly pressed against her. Waverly dutifully curled her legs around Nicole’s waist and linked her arms around her neck, smiling down at her girlfriend. With confident steps, Nicole carried her towards the bedroom. Waverly assisted with a helping hand to open the door handle, and Nicole kicked the door open. 

The creak of the door must have stirred CJ out of her sleep, because suddenly the cat was there, meowing for attention at Nicole’s feet. 

“No. Shit, CJ. Get off.” 

She clumsily stumbled inside and Waverly managed to push the door closed before the cat joined them into Nicole’s bedroom. They looked at each for a split second before they both burst out into laughter. The sound of faint meowing from the other side of the door didn’t help.

Waverly was starting to get heavy, now, so Nicole quickly walked to her bed. She very gently put Waverly down on the edge, suddenly a little timid. 

Waverly pulled her against her. Nicole’s shirt was still hanging open as if she was some kind of suave bachelor at Saint Tropez. Waverly wanted it  _ off _ . With a few tugs, the offending garment fell to the floor. Nicole’s jeans followed quickly, and so did her socks. With a combined effort, Waverly’s tights came off too, leaving both of them in only their underwear. 

Waverly was lying on her back, while Nicole was still standing at the edge of the bed. Her eyes trailed slowly over Waverly’s body, stopping at each freckle and birthmark, memorizing every detail. Waverly’s body had started to feel foreign as her pregnancy progressed, and there were bits and pieces she felt ashamed of, like the dark line running downwards from her bellybutton, and the stretch marks that had started to appear around her hips. But now, underneath Nicole’s attentive stare, she felt proud of her body because it was  _ hers _ . She also felt incredibly sexy.

“Come here,” Waverly said with her most sultry voice. 

The way Nicole’s eyes lit up with joy and lust made another bolt of nervous excitement wash through her body, and Waverly watched in awe as Nicole crawled up the bed towards her. As soon as she was close enough, Waverly put her hands on Nicole’s ivory skin, touching her everywhere she could reach. They were sitting upright in the bed, Nicole on her knees with her thighs bracketing one of Waverly’s outstretched legs. Nicole’s hand was resting warm and soft and safe on Waverly’s hip while she patiently let Waverly explore her body. 

There was so much naked skin for Waverly to enjoy, and she slid the pads of her fingers slowly over Nicole’s abdomen, around her sides to her back and finally upwards. When Waverly started trailing her fingers along the edge of the purple bra, Nicole’s eyes flicked and her lips curled up into a smirk. Waverly wanted to see  _ all  _ of her, but her heart pounded heavily in her chest and her fingers trembled in their slow dance over Nicole’s skin. 

Nicole could clearly sense her hesitation, because she reached out her free hand to tuck Waverly’s hair back, and placed a soft kiss right beneath Waverly’s ear. She whispered, “I’m yours, baby.”

The kiss that followed was hot and wet and everything Waverly had ever wanted. More confident now, and under the cover of their kiss, Waverly’s hands set to work on the clasp of Nicole’s bra. Once open, she let the straps slide down Nicole’s strong arms until the garment was off, revealing Nicole’s perfect breasts underneath. Mesmerized by the sight in front of her, Waverly traced her hands slowly over the soft curve made up of soft tissue and pale skin, weighing the breasts in her hands and thumbing inquisitively at the pink nipples. 

Nicole shuddered at the touch, pulling Waverly out of her fixated trance. But Nicole only smiled when Waverly glanced up at her, still cupping her chest lightly. 

“Boobs, am I right?” grinned Nicole.

Waverly returned the smile sheepishly. The weight of Nicole’s breasts in her palms was such a nice feeling, and she gave them an experimental squeeze. Nicole reacted accordingly, promptly drawing in a shaky breath, and in the next second, Waverly had ducked down to suck one of those beautiful nipples into her mouth, purely on instinct. 

“Oh,” Nicole shuddered, as Waverly swirled her tongue around the stiff peek. It was somehow both hard and soft, and it tasted so very  _ Nicole _ . She squeezed the breast and hummed happily, and then she switched to the other side to see if that one tasted the same. 

Nicole hissed when Waverly released the wet nipple to the exposure of cold air. With a sudden haste that hadn’t been there before, Nicole cupped Waverly face and pulled her up to kiss her frantically, her tongue pushing fervently into Waverly’s mouth. Nicole’s hands circled around to Waverly’s back and pushed their bodies together, chest to chest. 

Waverly still had her underwear on, but they both decided it had to be  _ gone _ , and so her bra was discarded with one swift movement from Nicole. Suddenly Waverly was lying on her back, fully exposed. Her nerves and insecurities were partly overshadowed when Nicole started kissing her way down Waverly’s throat at a deliberately slow pace, because she felt  _ good _ . Waverly could feel her heart hammering a few inches down from where Nicole’s tongue was sweeping over her skin. She was getting closer now, inching her way towards Waverly’s breast, and suddenly it was too much.

“Nicole,” she gasped just as Nicole’s teeth nipped at her clavicle. Her tongue swept over the spot, and it was all very sensual. 

Nicole looked up at her. “Yeah, baby?”

“I’m, uh.” Waverly swallowed. “I’m not -”

Nicole pushed herself up on her elbow and traced her fingers soothingly over Waverly’s hair. “You don’t wanna do this?”

“No,” Waverly said quickly. “I do. I just… This isn’t what I used to look like.”

There it was. The final grain of insecurity that kept Waverly from giving herself fully to Nicole. Suddenly she felt the need to cover up her chest. Her nipples were significantly bigger than before, after growing into nozzles for breastfeeding rather than small pebbles for erotic pleasure. She was scared that Nicole would find them gross and big, and would remind her too much of the new purpose of Waverly’s boobs. 

A flash of regret shot through Waverly, for not showing her body before. She wished that Nicole could have seen her before all of this, when she still felt sexy and comfortable in her skin. What if Waverly’s nipples would be big like this forever, and Nicole would never get the chance to see what they were supposed to look like? What if Waverly’s body never turned back to normal?

Nicole studied Waverly’s eyes for a second before answering. It felt as though she could see every insecurity and every pestering doubt that lived in Waverly’s brain.

“Waverly Earp, you are the most beautiful creature on this earth.” She spoke it clearly. “No matter the changes to your body, you are still the most stunning person I have ever met. I am  _ so _ honored to be here with you, right here in this bed. And I promise I will take care of you -” She put an hesitant hand on Waverly’s stomach. “- and your baby, for as long as you want me.”

Waverly swallowed. 

“And I promise that I’m not saying this just because I wanna have sex with you, because if this is too much, we will stop right now, or whenever you want. I just -” 

Nicole closed her eyes. When she opened them again Waverly could see the wetness threatening to form a tear.

“You’re just so damn beautiful, and I’m so sorry that I can’t make you feel that way.”

Waverly hands were moving even before Nicole had finished her sentence, cupping Nicole’s cheek and kissing the tip of her nose. “You can. You do. And I-I like you.”

She stumbled on those last words. Waverly stared straight into Nicole’s eyes, trying her best to convey the truth behind her words. 

Nicole reminded her every day of her beauty, until Waverly had almost started to believe it again. She’d felt pretty before her pregnancy, confident with her body and her looks, and she used to take great pride in keeping her body fit and sculpted, but the pregnancy had changed a lot of that. Her body was out of her control now, and there were many moments where she was unsure about her appearance. 

But in this moment Nicole made her feel beautiful. She was looking down at her with those eyes, with her hand softly caressing on her stomach. They were almost naked and Waverly felt warm and happy and  _ safe _ , and the only thing she wanted was for Nicole’s hands to continue what they had started. 

Luckily Nicole was thinking the same. She smiled. “Oh, Waverly Earp, I like you too.”

And with that, she bent her head, closing those few inches that separated their lips, and kissed her fully. Waverly pushed her fingers into Nicole’s hair, tugging lightly at the fiery strands. 

Nicole smirked, and without another word she started trailing her tongue down Waverly’s throat again. This time Waverly didn’t stop her. 

Nicole kissed her way down to Waverly’s chest, burying her nose in the swell of soft flesh there. She grazed her cheek over one of Waverly’s nipples before kissing it gently, aware of the sensitized nerve endings there. 

Waverly moaned suddenly and was shocked to hear the sound escaping from her mouth, positively out of her control. She had never been loud before, with Champ or on her own, but this was something else entirely. 

Nicole pushed at her perked nipple with the tip of her nose, and Waverly moaned again. 

“Oh my God,” she muttered under her breath when Nicole kissed her way slowly around the stiff peek, until her lips connected fully with it. Nicole let go with a  _ pop _ , and the sudden feeling of cold air on the wetness from Nicole’s mouth made her gasp again.

When going through the details of these events later that evening, as she blushed in the darkness of her own bedroom, Waverly could swear that this was the moment where she had blacked out. It must have been too much to handle for her brain, because the next thing she knew, Waverly was lying with the back of her head pushing hard into the mattress, her eyes pressed shut and her fingers once again buried in Nicole’s hair. It might even have been her first orgasm that night, with the way her entire body seemed to be trembling under Nicole’s lips.

“You okay there?” asked Nicole, evidently pleased with her efforts. 

“Uh-huh, yeah, totally,” Waverly managed, because Nicole’s mouth was already moving further down.

She was kissing Waverly’s stomach now, lazily swirling her tongue over the skin above her belly button, where her bump was sloping down. The kiss was so intimate, promising a lot more than just  _ sex _ , but right now, that was the only thing Waverly could think of. 

“Oh, God, Nicole,” she whimpered, and Nicole caught the plea behind the words effortlessly. She trailed the pads of her fingers over Waverly’s stomach, until they were at the edge of her underwear. Waverly could feel Nicole’s question there, and she gave her consent with another sigh. “Yes, Nicole.  _ Please _ .”

Nicole dipped her fingers beneath the elastic band and started pulling it down. It was menacingly slow, but finally, with some assistance from Waverly lifting her pelvis off the mattress, Nicole pulled the underwear down and  _ off _ , and Waverly was completely naked. She watched Nicole’s face as she swiped her eyes eagerly over Waverly’s body. Their eyes connected after a moment, and Nicole laid down again, positioning her tall frame against Waverly’s side. 

They kissed, slowly, deeply, while Nicole’s fingers started trailing over Waverly’s thighs and  _ up _ to where she wanted them. Waverly gasped when they finally got there, and Nicole gasped with her upon feeling how ready Waverly was. She started with slow circles with her fingers, and deep kisses with her lips, swallowing Waverly’s moans. Somehow she perceived the way Waverly reacted to every touch, angling her hand and adjusting her rhythm just  _ so _ according to Waverly’s soft whimpers, to chase the building climax. When Waverly finally arched her back off the mattress, Nicole didn’t remove her hand immediately. Instead she slowed her pace and waited for Waverly to gasp for air before retracting her hand from between her shivering thighs. 

Nicole’s smile was cocky when Waverly’s glassy eyes met hers, and Waverly  _ loved  _ it. They kissed once more, slower now. 

“You’re beautiful,” Nicole whispered and placed a soft kiss on Waverly’s shoulder.

“You’re amazing,” Waverly countered dreamily. 

Nicole grazed her teeth over Waverly’s shoulder, eliciting another uncontrollable shudder. Waverly smiled. Nicole’s fingers trailed over the skin of Waverly’s stomach with the lightest touch, and it felt so good that Waverly was almost ready to explode.

“ _ Nicole _ ,” she groaned, and turned on her side to face her gorgeous girlfriend. She leaned forward to kiss her, cleverly pushing Nicole onto her back in the same movement. 

Waverly was happy and content, and Nicole had made her feel so, so good, but she was also  _ curious _ . 

“It’s my turn now,” she whispered seductively, bringing out Nicole’s grin once again.

Waverly placed a hand on Nicole’s sternum, searching for the familiarity of Nicole’s beating heart. She was filled with excitement, but also a new wave of nerves. There was a lingering fear that she might not have the abilities to make Nicole feel all the things she had just experienced. She had never done this before, not to another person. What if she did everything wrong?

Nicole noticed, because she always did, and smiled encouragingly. “We can do it together.”

She understood how much Waverly wanted this, so she didn’t try to speak her out of it or tell her that she didn’t have to do it. Instead, she comforted her with kisses on her lips and kisses on her neck and kisses on her fingers, until Waverly was  _ ready _ . 

Waverly shifted her body slightly, pushing herself up a little so that she had better reach. She started with something familiar, trailing her hand down to the swell of Nicole’s breast, kneading it and fingering at her nipple, and then kissing it like she had before. After eliciting a few delicate moans from Nicole, Waverly started moving further down, trailing her trembling fingers over Nicole’s stomach. She was doing her best to mimic what Nicole had shown her minutes earlier, unsure of what else to do, but Nicole didn’t seem to mind. Waverly lightly pressed her fingers down into the soft flesh and felt the ripple of muscle under pale skin. She swallowed then, because now there was only one way to go. 

Nicole covered Waverly’s fingers with her hand where they hesitated at the edge of her cotton boy shorts. She brought them to her mouth, kissing Waverly’s palm and then her knuckles, before whispering, “Do you want me to show you?”

Waverly nodded coyly, and together they pushed Nicole’s underwear down and off. There was hair, trimmed short, not bare like Waverly, but it was nice, because it was red like Nicole’s hair and it felt  _ right _ . Waverly slid her inexperienced fingers slowly through the short curls, fumbling a bit when she reached her destination. 

Again, Nicole could see the cry for help in Waverly’s eyes. Without breaking eye contact, she covered Waverly’s hand with her own and pressed down on Waverly’s index finger, sighing, “ _ Here. _ ” 

Together, they started moving. Waverly could hear Nicole’s breath hitching every time her finger hit just right over the small bump of nerve endings. As soon as Waverly had established a sort rhythm, Nicole removed her hand, instead raking her fingers through the flowing tresses of Waverly’s loose hair. Waverly was filled with such pride when Nicole pulled her head down and hungrily captured her lips before moaning her pleasure into her mouth. 

Nicole clutched at Waverly’s shoulder and then at the undone sheets, and breathed “Yes” and “Lower” and “Right there” and “Oh my God, yes, I’m gonna -”, before clamping her shivering thighs together, capturing Waverly’s hand until the waves of pleasure had passed. 

Waverly watched as Nicole’s chest expanded with the rhythm of heavy breaths and her body relaxed, slowly sinking into the mattress. Her naked skin was glowing with a thin layer of sweat and her hair was messed up, and it was the most sexy thing Waverly had ever seen. 

“You’re amazing,” Nicole sighed as she stretched out her worn legs on the bed, still very much out of breath. 

Waverly smiled, because she believed her. And then she leaned up on her elbows and kissed her, and she kissed her again, and then she smiled, because the night wasn’t over yet, and there were lots of other things they could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, what do you think?   
> I'm here for rants in comments or on tumblr @zaxagra!


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